Chapter Twenty-One

Travis

“Hi, Travis.”

I turned to see Jillian bounding up towards me with a big grin on her face. It was the happiest I’d seen her since she’d arrived and I wondered what was going on. Ever since our little interaction the other night, the two of us hadn’t spoken to each other much. I hoped she wasn’t coming to flirt with me again because I’d feel so terrible having to turn her down all over again. I laughed at the thought of what my friends back home would think if they knew I had turned down a girl as beautiful as Jillian. They wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.

“Oh, hey, Jillian. What’s up?”

“Uh, I’m leaving. I just wanted to let you know.”

“You are? Is everything okay?” Shit, had I made her leave? Mike and Allison were going to be upset if they knew I was the reason behind her going. It was important for them to make sure everyone was having a good time. I hadn’t been rude to her though, had I? I desperately tried to think back to figure out if I had said something wrong, but I couldn’t think of anything. And up until now, I thought we were fine.

“To be honest, Travis, I just can’t be around you any longer. I have to leave.”

“What? Oh no. Did I do something wrong? Shit, Jillian, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…” I trailed off when I saw that she was laughing. “Are you messing with me?”

She laughed. “I’m sorry, Travis. I couldn’t help myself. I’m not upset with you.”

“Oh thank goodness. You almost gave me a heart attack. Are you okay though?”

“Yeah, everything is fine. It’s not working out for me. But it’s got nothing to do with you guys. I just want to say a big thank you for being so great to me. I’m going to go and have a talk with the rest of the group and talk to Mike and Allison, too. But I can't waste any time—my cab to the airport will be here any minute. I just didn’t want you to all think I was leaving because of you. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Long story.”

“Sure you don’t want to talk?”

“I just don’t have the time. I’m so sorry. I probably should’ve spoken to you all about this from the start. Anyway, I guess I was just trying to run away from my problems, which was never going to end well. Ask Harper to fill you in. I really have to get going soon.”

“Harper’s not going back with you?”

She grinned. “No, she’s staying. She likes it here.”

I knew that the smile on my face probably gave my feelings away but I couldn’t hide it. “Well, that’s good. Uh… I’m glad she’s staying. Although, we’re going to miss you.”

She smiled. “Who knows, maybe I’ll come back when I’m in a better head space. Anyway, I just wanted to say goodbye. I need to talk to everyone else too, so mind if we hug it out? I don’t want any hard feelings about the other night. You were right. There’s nothing between us. No spark. And that’s all right. I shouldn’t have made you feel that way. But… enjoy the rest of your time with Harper.”

“Uh…”

She chuckled. “And with the rest of the group, of course.”

I smiled as she gave me a big hug and watched her bounce off. I wondered what was going on, but all I could think about was the fact that Harper wasn’t going too. I wouldn’t have liked that. Why had Jillian grinned at me like that? Could she see that I liked her? Was I that transparent? Probably. The biggest question on my mind was no longer whether or not I liked Harper; it was now whether she liked me.

That evening I went to look on the animals and found Harper petting the sheep. It was a sweet sight, and I wondered if she knew just how pretty she was out here. For a while, I just stood there, watching her. Eventually, I realized that I was going to look like a creep if anyone saw me watching, so I made my way to say hello. She smiled when she saw me.

“Oh, hey, Travis. I was just saying hello to Simon and Sally here.”

I laughed. “You named them!”

“Of course. I named them all. There’s Shelly. She’s a sweetheart.”

I chuckled. “Hi, Shelly.”

“Oh look there’s Sebastian.”

“Shelly, Simon, Sebastian, and Sally. Hmm, I detect a trend here. Let me guess, that one over there is called Shaun or something.”

She raised her eyebrows. “No. Don’t you even know your own sheep? That’s Bob.”

I laughed and shook my head. “You’re crazy.”

“You’re probably right about that. I never thought I’d be hanging around with sheep as company.”

“They’re funny creatures. So, everything go okay with Jillian? Did she get her flight?”

Harper nodded. “Yeah, she sent me a message when she got to the airport. Can you believe she deserted me? How rude,” she said, but I could see she was smiling.

“She seemed happy to go.”

“It wasn’t because of you guys, though. I hope she told you that.  I told her to come and talk to you guys before she left.”

“She did,” I said. “But she also said I must ask you why she left. She was in too much of a hurry to go into any detail. Something about running away from her problems.”

I listened as Harper went into detail about Jillian and her boyfriend. I had a feeling that something was up with Jillian from the moment she walked in, and now it all made sense. No wonder she couldn’t concentrate on anything while she was here.

“I had a feeling something was going on. Jillian seemed sad. And I found it strange that someone who was so enthusiastic that first day wasn’t really enjoying any of it. I didn’t think it was my place to ask her though.”

“Yeah, her mind hasn’t been here. She told me that she flirted with you and that you turned her down though.”

My eyes widened. “She told you that? Ah, no, I feel bad. She’s a beautiful girl. It was… well…”

Harper laughed. “It’s okay. It’s for the best. She’s still in love with Thomas. She would’ve felt so guilty if something happened between the two of you. I knew that she didn’t really like you like that. I mean, naturally she thought you were good-looking, but there was nothing there. She was so desperate to stop thinking about Thomas, and she was trying to find a distraction. But she wasn’t upset with you. I think she was more annoyed with herself if I’m to be honest.”

“Well, that’s good then. It was a little bit awkward, but I’m glad I’m not the reason she left. I would’ve felt terrible about that. I was flattered though.”

“That’s exactly what I told her. Everyone loves a good ego boost,” she said.

“So, you didn’t really want to come here, and now you’re the one that’s left behind,” I said. “I still remember that first day when you got off the shuttle. You looked a little bit disgusted. Even though I can tell that you’re enjoying yourself now, I’m still surprised in a way that you didn’t go back with her.”

She giggled. “I was a little disgusted that first day. No offense. The place is beautiful, but I just couldn’t handle all the dust. And yeah, I know that it probably seems a little ridiculous to a country man like yourself. But… well… it’s hard to explain just how different it is living in the city to coming to a place like this. It takes some getting used to. I know you thought I was completely out of my element but it really was just a bit of a shock to me. That’s all. I wouldn’t leave so soon. I’m here for the full experience, and I’m going to get it. Anyway, what would I do back home? Jillian will go straight to Thomas. If I go home, the first thing I’m going to do is work, and that’s what I’m trying to take a break from.”

I thought about telling Harper right there and then that I didn’t live here. I thought about telling her how I was a city boy too and how I worked as a professor for a living. I wondered what she would think if she knew that I was affiliated with a think tank. Would she be impressed? This was usually the first thing that I told women when I met them. I wanted them to know that I was a hard worker who earned good money and who went after his dreams. But something was holding me back this time around. A lot of it had to do with the fact that I was already too far gone into this lie to suddenly take it back. I still hadn’t actually told her that I lived here, but I had also never denied it when she said anything. It would be strange to suddenly come out and tell her the truth. Also, most of the women I had dated had been interested in me because of what I did for a living, not because of who I was as a person. I was curious to see if Harper would be interested in just the man and not the scholar. I had never shown this side of myself to other people, and I wanted to know what the reaction would be. Also, there was a small part of me that wondered if Harper wouldn’t be interested in the real me. Perhaps she just liked the idea of me as a cowboy. Either way, I decided not to tell her.

“So, no boyfriend for you then?” I asked.

She frowned. “Why do you say that? Don’t you think I can have a boyfriend? Aren’t I datable or something.”

“Uh, quite the opposite. Of course I think you can have a boyfriend. But you didn’t rush off like Jillian did so I’m assuming you don’t. Either that or you have some very sad boyfriend pining for you at home and wondering when you’re going to come back.”

She chuckled. “Nah, I’m just kidding. I have no boyfriend waiting for me back home. And sometimes I really do think that I’m not datable.”

“You’re very datable, Harper. You shouldn’t say things like that.”

She shrugged. “How about you? Jillian said she asked you if you were married or if you had a girlfriend and you said you didn’t. She really is pretty forward when she wants to be, isn’t she?”

“She also asked me if I was gay,” I said, and we both laughed. “Nah, no girlfriend or wife for me either. I don’t know why. I guess I just haven’t found the right person. It’s not as easy for some people. I don’t know. Some people make it look like the easiest thing in the world, but I don’t think it is. Maybe I’m just unlucky in love, or maybe I’m also just not datable.”

She shook her head. “I sincerely doubt that. So, no girlfriend and no wife. At least you have all these animals. Sally the sheep is looking particularly pretty today.”

I laughed at that. “That’s not exactly the same thing. Mike and Allison seem to think it’s because I’m too busy. They say I just don’t make enough time for love. And they’re probably not far off from the truth. I’m one of those people that can’t sit still for very long. I constantly need to be doing something, otherwise I feel like I’m wasting my time.”

Harper gave me a strange look. “Really? You feel like that out here? I would think that this place makes you more relaxed. Well, maybe it’s different if you live here. But I know what you mean. I’m exactly the same. I am constantly on the move, jumping from one project to the next. I never sit still. I like it though. I like being busy even though I’m not sure if it’s always the right thing to do. It’s been good to relax too for a change.”

“You said you work in PR, right? That does sound like the sort of job that keeps you on your toes.”

“Oh yeah. It totally does. It’s great though. I love it. Ideally, I think I would’ve enjoyed working in fashion, but I do enjoy my job. I love seeing how I can help other people. There’s something great about watching a company go from nothing to something that suddenly everyone is talking about. It’s a lot of work, but I’m all for working hard.”

I smiled. “I like that about you. I knew someone that worked in PR and she described the job as completely the opposite to you. She used to tell me that it was soulless. It’s nice to hear you say otherwise.”

“It’s what you make of it, isn’t it? There are pros and cons to every job, and I happen to see the fun side of mine. I don’t mind working hard to help other people. I know some people don’t enjoy that, but then, quite frankly, they shouldn’t be in that business in the first place.”

“People don’t realize how important it is to enjoy your job. And how unimportant it is to worry about what anyone else thinks of it.” I immediately thought about Mike as soon as I said the words, although I was starting to think that maybe he did actually feel proud of me.

“Nevertheless, it’s been good to get away. I like being here, under the stars.”

I smiled at her. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. “I have an idea.”

“Yeah?”

“How about we go for a moonlit ride? I’m sure Thunder would love to see you again.” And I don’t want this evening to stop.

She looked at me with wide and excited eyes. “Really? Can we do that?”

“We can do whatever we want to,” I said as if I really did work here. She didn’t have to know. I was sure Mike wouldn’t mind either. I was working here now so what difference did it really make?

“I would love that,” she said.

We got the horses and saddled up, and then the two of us took a ride around the field together under the stars. We didn’t talk much but every now and again we would turn to look at each other and smile. There was no doubt in my mind that this was the best night I’d experienced since being here. I was now so grateful that I had decided to come for a visit.