Chapter Ten
Ava
The area surrounding the university was mostly student housing. There were thousands of little duplexes and houses available for students to rent. I lived in a tiny, one bedroom apartment. The couch and TV were old, and there were clothes on the floor in my room. I didn’t care what my house looked like. It was a place for me to sleep and sit.
I kept it generally clean, but nobody ever came over, so I got sloppy. For the most part, all I did when I was there was sleep. I rarely used the TV, and I almost never ate there. Some days, though, I liked to turn my bed into my office and spend my time studying at home.
I was sitting cross-legged on my bed with a stack of papers on one leg and my book resting on the other. The morning had gone by slowly, but I got a lot memorized. Now I was moving onto calculus. I was terrible at math. It was the only thing that really challenged me, and it was starting to tie in with all of the rest of my science classes. It was getting to be a problem, so I decided I needed to go on a study binge. Today was nothing but calculus.
I was getting frustrated by it. My head hurt, and all I wanted to do was turn off the lamp and go to sleep. But I had to push through. I couldn’t fall behind. I kept my eyes on the book and started taking down notes. I found it was easier to get through the problems when I wrote them down.
I was halfway through the chapter when something vibrated next to my foot. I jolted back, startled, then realized it was my phone. It was my mother. She sent me a text message asking me about how I was. I dialed her number.
“Hey, sweetie,” she sounded tired.
“Mom, how are you? How’s Chelsea?”
“She’s good. They’re starting to teach her cursive, so she keeps practicing and running up to show me.”
“You should send me a picture.” I laid my head back on the wall.
“I will. She’s pretty good at it. I’m thinking of getting her a calligraphy set.”
“You should give her my old oil painting set. I’ll bet she’d love that.”
“You’re right. I haven’t even thought of that. Is it up in the basement?” my mom asked.
“I think it is. Tell me if you don’t find it. You sound exhausted, Mom.”
“They’ve got me working breakfast and lunch at Finnigan’s, and they open at 6, so I’ve been running around since before dawn. I’ve got to get to Charlie’s here in a couple hours.”
“How are your tips?” I asked. “Are you two gonna make it?”
“I should.”
“You should? You can’t rely on should. I need to know that you’ve got everything covered, because if you don’t, I can help you.”
“I don’t need you doing that, Ava. I’m fine, really.”
“You’re still getting food boxes; we both know you are. Mom, Chelsea’s a growing girl. She can’t survive on canned sweet potatoes and diner burgers. She needs real food and decent clothes. You can have that if I start sending money home.”
“But you’ve got your own life to worry about. I don’t need you sending me all your money. You’re just getting started, and you’re going to school. You need that money more than any of us. I don’t want you to have to struggle.”
“I’m not struggling. I’m making more than enough to pay for myself.”
“You need to save what you have,” my mom insisted.
“Not while Chelsea’s surviving off of diner food. Look, we both know that you and Chelsea need the money. Don’t refuse it. That would just be dumb. I’m sending you something at the end of next week.”
“How are your grades, Ava?”
“It’s hard work, but I’m making it.”
“And you’re going to keep it up, aren’t you?” my mom asked.
“I am. You know me. I’m going to follow this through till the end.”
“I have no doubt,” she said.
“I’m sending you the money,” I insisted, “and you’re going to take it. I’m not going to let you two suffer.”
“Thank you, Ava. I don’t need the money, but I suppose I will take it.”
“You don’t have a choice,” I said. “I have to go, I’m sorry. I’ve got so much work to do.”
“Take care,” my mom thanked me again and left me to my calculus. I couldn’t focus on the books, so I put it away and got up. I had to get out of bed sometime. I showered and found myself something to wear. When I was done, I was feeling rejuvenated, so I went back to my calculus.
I spent too much time showering. I should’ve been studying. I was going to get behind if I wasn’t careful, but I still couldn’t concentrate. The numbers scrambled together on the page, and I couldn’t read them. I set my book down, turned off the light, and laid down. Maybe sleep would help.
My phone was vibrating again. I didn’t want to answer it. I just wanted to sleep, and maybe get some work done tonight. It just kept ringing over and over again. Finally, I picked it up. “Hello?”
“I’m outside.” It was Nicole.
“What do you mean you’re outside?”
“I’m getting worried about you. You’re shutting yourself in so I’m kidnapping you so you can take me to lunch.”
“Where are we going?”
“Just let me in, and start getting ready.” I opened my front door and she was standing outside.
“Get in here. Don’t just show up at my house.”
“You weren’t at the library,” she walked in, “so I started to worry.”
I closed the door behind her. “Well, I’m not going.”
“Oh, yes you are. You haven’t been out of the house all weekend. Admit it.”
“I will not.” I stomped into my room and sat back down on my bed, where I belonged.
Nicole followed me in. “So it’s true. You’ve been here this whole time.”
“What kind of food are you making me buy you?”
“I don’t know,” she sat down at the foot of the bed. “What should we get?”
“I don’t know. This home invasion was your idea. I was happy here.” She stroked her chin. “If you don’t know what we’re getting, then forget about it.”
“Noodle House.”
The prospect of thick noodles and broth sounded appetizing. “Alright, but you have to get out of my room. Now. I’m changing.”
The Noodle House was a hidden masterpiece sitting in a remote corner of downtown. There was a neon sign with a flickering bowl of noodles above the door. The steam lines above the bowl had burnt out. It looked like somebody had renovated a studio apartment. They added a divider between the kitchen and lobby, where they kept two salvaged booths and an old school table covered with a white cloth.
We didn’t go there because we liked the way the place looked. We ate there because it was authentic Asian folk food. They used herbs like lemongrass and sweet basil, along with spices like anise and jasmine to create homemade broths. I could smell the herbs steaming when we walked inside and took a booth in the back.
The best part about the broth was the meat. They cooked the beef in the broth, so the juices flowed through. The chicken was shredded and drenched in spices. The shrimp was minced in a chili sauce. When the soup came, there were red globs of chili oil floating on the surface.
“I don’t know how you eat that spicy stuff,” Nicole said. She always got the chicken.
“It’s amazing, but I can’t be doing this very much, you know.”
Nicole slurped up a noodle. “Why not?”
“If you must know, I’m picking up some extra hours at the tutoring center.”
“For what?” Nicole said.
“I’m sending money home to my mother.”
“Oh, I see.”
“And I don’t want to talk about it. It’s my business, understand?”
“Of course. It’s family. Just don’t work yourself to the bone. You can’t save the world.”
“I certainly don’t plan on trying,” I said, then took a spoonful of broth.
“The game on Friday night was amazing. They do this thing where they move the cameras up close to Channing, like when he has his helmet off and he’s on the sidelines, stuff like that.”
“Really?”
“It’s promotion. They’re selling their star quarterback. He has a chance at the NFL, you know.”
“It’s probably a long shot.”
“You don’t get it. He’s pushing the school straight through to the finals. He’ll be the quarterback of the winning team. Everyone will know who he is.”
“It’s not a guarantee that he’ll get signed,” I said.
“No, but it’s an opportunity. He’s already a big deal, Ava.”
“I’m not sure I buy it. You’re a groupie. You go to all the games and all the same parties. You just think people care about this kind of crap. Most of the students just want to get done with school and go. Football is a distraction.”
“You need something other than school to think about. Those books are going to melt your mind. Pretty soon, you won’t be able to go out in the sunlight.”
“This again? No more. “
“Fine,” Nicole shrugged and went back to her noodles.
“I’m out here with you. That’s enough recreation for the week.”
“And what about your biological needs?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You want me to spell it out?”
“Yes.”
“It’s not healthy to stay celibate.”
“Do you want me to walk away from the table?” I asked.
Nicole looked around to see if anyone was listening. Then she leaned across the table and met my eyes. “Ava…”
I started to get up.
“Okay, okay,” she threw up her hands. “We won’t talk about it.”
“No, we won’t. I should’ve never have told you in the first place,” I hissed. “You are never, ever allowed to talk about that, you understand me?”
“It’s ju—”
“Don’t you dare,” I snapped.
“There are studies showing that it’s not healthy to…be a….”
“Don’t you finish that sentence,” I glared at her. “There is nothing wrong with abstinence.”
“It’s not abstinence. It’s forced isolation is what it is, and it’s not healthy. It causes stress, lady problems, and it turns you into a prude. You’ll be mean and hateful forever.”
“I’m not mean and hateful, just snappy.”
“It could get worse. You could start to get irate. You must know that this isn’t normal—to go without for so long.”
“I don’t care. I’m happy. Get over it.” I went back to my soup.
“Bull, it’s getting to you. It has to be. Nobody can go without sex this long.”
I took a look around the restaurant. The server was leaning against the desk at the front of the office, staring at her phone. “I don’t want that lady to hear you; you got that?”
“Because you’re ashamed.”
“I’m not ashamed,” I took a spoonful of broth. “I just haven’t found the right guy yet.”
“I say it’s better to get it over with first. You’ll be more experienced.”
“Nicole, I honestly don’t care about sex.” I took another spoonful. “Sex is just another distraction. It has nothing to do with the relationship, not for me. I want something with passion and chemistry. It’s a thousand times better if you wait.”
“I heard that if you wait too long to lose your virginity, you’ll turn into an asexual.”
“Don’t say that word.”
“What? Virginity?” she said it a little bit louder.
“Fine, if you want to get into this, we will. That study’s flawed. Think about it. They tested older adult virgins. Most of them were probably asexual already.”
“It’s not healthy.”
“Lots of people wait. It’s a personal choice.”
“The guys call you cobwebs.”
“I know. I don’t care.” I finished my soup and went straight back home to go study. The calculus book was waiting for me when I got home. I pressed through it, taking my time to make sure I understood every concept. I still didn’t fully understand it, but at least I knew I’d pass the test.