Chapter Sixteen
Kristen
“I’m handing in my two weeks’ notice,” I said as I sipped my lemonade.
“What?” Melody asked, gawking at me over her plate of linguini.
“It’s been two weeks now, and things still haven’t thawed out between us. I mean, he talks to me, and he’s polite; it’s not like it was the first time he freaked out, but still… He didn’t even acknowledge what happened that night. Nor does he talk to me with any sense of familiarly. It’s like we’ve gone back to being strangers. Except that we’re not strangers—not anymore.”
“You sound hurt.”
“I am hurt,” I admitted. “We had a connection at dinner, Mel; if I'm honest, we had a connection long before that. He was the one who asked me out in the first place. He initiated dinner, and he picked me up, and things were going great until we sat down at the restaurant. Then we started talking, and things seemed to be going well and then… He just blanked.”
“Blanked?” Melody repeated.
“It was like he wasn’t even there for a second,” I said. “Like he had gone someplace else and wasn’t even aware that I was sitting in front of him, talking to him. When he zoned in again, he just looked at me, got up and left.”
“Have you ever considered the possibility that the guy has PTSD or something?”
“Post-traumatic stress disorder?” I said. I frowned thoughtfully. “I suppose it’s possible.”
“What were you talking about when he zoned out?”
“Uh…we were talking about…Noah,” I said, recalling the evening. “He was opening up to me about life as a single father and how he was scared that he wasn’t enough for his son. So I was just trying to reassure him, you know… I was trying to make him feel better.”
“Do you know how his wife died?”
I did know a little bit about how Daphne died, but I didn’t want to get into it. “She was killed in Afghanistan on her tour of duty. I think it may have been a bomb.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah.”
“How did you find out about that?” Melody asked. “Did he tell you?”
“He never talks about Daphne,” I said. “He’s never once mentioned her. I just found out.”
“But how?” she persisted.
I didn’t want to have to tell her the truth and see the shock and surprise on her face. It was too long a story to get into now in any case. My lunch break was only an hour long.
“Office gossip,” I said, protecting my secrets.
“Well, no wonder the guy’s messed up,” she said. “His wife was killed, and he was left with his young son who he knew he’d have to raise alone. That kind of thing has a way of messing with your head.”
“I knew he wasn’t ready to get involved with anyone,” I sighed. “I should never have agreed to go out with him. Now I’m forced to leave anyway, and things are just going to be awkward.”
“When are you planning on handing in your notice?”
“I’m going to tell Jake about it today when I get back into the office,” I said. “He wasn’t in all morning because he had meetings across town. Once he’s notified, I can hand in my official letter whenever he needs it.”
“You’re sure you want to do this?”
“It’s weird for me to be around him now,” I sighed. “The sad truth is… I like him. I mean, I think I really like him, and I don’t think I can continue to work for him now. This is the second time he’s freaked out on me, and I can’t help thinking that…it’s me.”
“It’s not you,” Melody said confidently.
“We don’t know that for sure,” I said.
“You’re beautiful and smart and hot,” she said. “Trust me; it’s him. He’s just got a lot of shit to deal with and ends up taking it out on you.”
I sighed and glanced down at my watch. “I better head out.”
“No dessert?”
“Not today, unfortunately,” I said, craving a sweet fix to soothe my frayed nerves. “I don’t have the time.”
“Right… Well, good luck.”
“Thanks,” I said.
I paid for my meal, gave Melody a quick hug, and walked back to the office. When I got to my desk, I saw that Jake’s door was closed and there was a faint noise coming from inside, so I knew he had finally come in for the day. I sat at my desk and took a moment to compose myself.
This was my own fault, really. Even if Jake had not been my boss, I should never have consented to get involved with him. I wasn’t being honest with him about whom I was, and that by itself was enough of a reason not to get too entrenched in his life. Perhaps this was simply karmic retribution for my choices since moving to San Diego.
Almost as if to drive home the point, I noticed that I’d received two missed calls from my mother. I still hadn’t spoken to her since I’d moved out here. It was the longest we had gone without speaking to one another, but I needed the space. I was starting to feel a little guilty about avoiding her calls, however.
Taking a deep breath, I stood up, knowing that I had stalled for long enough. I went to Jake’s door and knocked twice. It was a while before the door opened and I frowned for a moment before I realized Jake was not the one answering the door.
“Noah,” I exclaimed in surprise.
“Krissie,” he cried as he grabbed me around the waist.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I said, running my hand over his head. The way he clung to me made me feel emotional instantly, and I dropped to my knees to give him a proper hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Playing rookie?” he said, sounding uncertain of the last word.
I frowned. “Playing rookie…or playing hooky?”
He laughed. “Hooky,” he confirmed. “Daddy said.”
“Where is your daddy?” I asked.
“In the potty,” Noah replied.
I suppressed my smile and straightened up. “Well, I need to talk to him.”
“You can play with me until he comes out,” Noah said enthusiastically as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the office.
I followed him inside and saw that a little circle of toys had been set up next to Jake’s desk. There was a little backpack, as well as coloring books and an assortment of pencils and crayons that littered the carpet.
“That’s quite the little play area you’ve got.”
“I’m coloring now,” he told me. “I finished playing with my toys.”
“That’s good,” I smiled. “Can I see what you’ve colored?”
Noah handed me his coloring book proudly, and I took a careful look at the pictures he had completed. “Wow,” I said, knowing that he was waiting for praise. “This is really lovely.”
“You like it?”
“I love it,” I said. “I especially love your choice of colors… It’s very outside the box.”
Noah frowned. “Outside the box?” he repeated. “But I’ve stayed in the lines.”
I smiled. “No, sweetheart, it’s an expression. It means that you’re very imaginative. You do things differently than other people, and that’s a great thing.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I nodded confidently.
He beamed, and I saw how much he liked talking to me. I realized how lonely it must be for Noah sometimes with a disinterested babysitter to look after him and a father who was constantly working.
“Why didn’t you come and see me, Krissy?” he asked. “I liked playing with you.”
“I liked playing with you, too, honey,” I assured him. “But… I was really busy. You understand, don’t you?” Noah’s face fell slightly.
“Everyone’s always busy,” he said, sounding slightly saddened by the thought.
I was trying to figure out what to say to him when the bathroom door opened and Jake walked out. He stopped short for a moment when he saw me there, but he regained his composure almost immediately.
“Kristen,” he nodded.
“Um… I needed to talk to you,” I said. “I came in here hoping to find you, and I found Noah, instead.”
“She found me,” Noah said, jumping over to his dad.
Jake ruffled Noah’s hair with his hand and looked towards me. “His babysitter canceled on me at the last second. Actually, she did worse than cancel—she quit.”
“She quit?” I asked, in surprise.
Jake looked down at Noah and gave him a little wink. “Why don’t you get back to your books, kiddo?”
Noah went over to his little play area and started coloring again. Jake took a step towards me. “Janet’s father took a turn for the worse, and she wants to spend this time with him and her family. She just up and quit without any notice, which basically leaves me high and dry. I didn’t have anyone to pick Noah up from school today, so I was forced to bring him to work instead.”
“Oh,” I said, glancing over at Noah.
“This ame at the worst possible time,” Jake complained, and I could see the stress in his eyes. “I have meetings for the rest of the evening and no way of getting out of them.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What are you planning on doing?”
“I honestly have no idea,” I said. “Every daycare within a ten-mile radius is full, and they require enrolments obviously, which I don’t have. I may have no choice but to take him into the meetings with me.”
“You’re going to take a four-year-old in for meetings that may possibly last hours?”
“What choice do I have?”
I should have just kept my mouth shut. I had no reason to make the offer, but I told myself that I was simply being a Good Samaritan. I was doing it for Noah because I didn’t want the kid to be stuck in meetings all night.
“I’ll take him,” I blurted out before I could really think it over by myself.
“What?” Jake asked, raising his eyebrows.
I suppressed a sigh. “I can babysit him this evening,” I said. “I don’t have plans tonight.”
“I… Would you really?” Jake asked, looking slightly surprised.
“I like Noah,” I said. “And, I have a hard time staying awake during those meetings when I sit in one them with you. I can’t imagine what Noah will have to go through.”
One corner of Jake’s mouth tilted upwards, but it still wasn’t quite a smile. “Thank you,” he said. “This is really nice of you.”
I shrugged and turned towards Noah. “I’m doing it for him,” I said, unable to keep the note of hurt from my voice.
Jake looked like he had gotten the message. He nodded once and then he looked towards his son. “Hey, buddy, looks like you’re going to be spending the evening with Kristen.”
“Yea,” Noah screamed, in his high pitched little voice. “Will you read to me again, Krissie?” he asked.
“Of course, buddy,” I nodded.
“And, will you cook for me again?”
“I sure will.”
“Can we leave now?” Noah asked.
I smiled and looked towards Jake.
“Go ahead,” he nodded. “Let me give you some cash first.”
“Don’t be silly; that’s not necessary.”
“Here,” Jake said, ignoring me as he held out some money. “Just in case you need to buy anything for Noah…food or books or…anything.”
I refused to take the money. “Like I said, that not’s necessary,” I said coldly. Then I walked over to Noah. “Come on, buddy, let me help you clear up.”
The whole time I was helping Noah, I could feel Jake’s eyes on me. I was doing this for Noah, but a part of me had to admit that, despite everything, I was doing it for Jake, too.