Chapter Twenty-Two
Kristen
I could almost feel the burn in my lungs as I pushed myself to keep running for another minute and thirty-four seconds. My legs were aching, and I could feel my willpower slipping, but I gritted my teeth together and forced myself to keep going. The moment I reached fifteen minutes, I reduced the treadmill speed until I was at a walking pace and panted with exhaustion.
“You are insane,” Melody announced, shaking her head at me.
I didn’t answer her right away. I waited till I could talk without huffing out my words and then I spoke. “It’s exhilarating…at least when you’ve finished.”
“You ran for fifteen straight minutes.”
“That’s the point, to train your body to keep at it for longer periods of time,” I said. “When I first started, I could only run at that speed for four minutes; I kid you not.”
“Fuck,” Melody said, stopping her treadmill. “There’s such a thing as overdoing it.”
I rolled my eyes and stopped my machine, too. We toweled ourselves off and headed towards the changing rooms to shower.
“I like pushing myself,” I said.
“Not me,” she said with a laugh. “I like to be comfortable, even when I exercise. I only wish I could have a body as fine as yours without all the insane shit you do.”
I laughed. “You have a great body, too.”
“My ass is not as tight as yours, and my stomach could use with a little toning,” she said. “But fuck it, I don’t mind a little flesh on my body. Gives the guys something to grab onto at night.”
“Win-win, huh?”
Melody winked at me. “How about lunch?”
“You want me to gain back all the calories I just lost?”
“Why not?”
I smiled. “There’s this cafe around the corner. We can walk there, and they have great salads.”
“Deal,” she nodded.
As I showered, I couldn’t help but think about Jake. It seemed like any time I had a moment to spare, my thoughts turned instinctively towards him. It was both terrifying and pathetic, and I wished I could be less affected than I was by his presence. It didn’t help that he always looked so handsome and suave.
I wiped myself dry and slipped on some jeans and a statement t-shirt, then I blow dried my hair quickly and joined Melody outside. After our vigorous workout session, both of us set a nice, slow pace to the café.
“You know where I go wrong?” Melody asked, picking up our conversation where we had left off. “I hate cooking, so I end up buying the cheap shit that takes three seconds to microwave, or I just order in.”
I shook my head at her. “All you need is a few basic skills, and you’ll do fine in the kitchen. I made myself some chicken last night for dinner, and it was both healthy and delicious.”
Melody sighed. “You’re so much more committed than I am; it’s annoying.”
I laughed. “I could give you some pointers. Or send you some easy recipes that’ll take you no time at all to cook.”
“Okay, I’m game.”
“Excellent,” I said. “I’ll send you over some links tonight.”
“Maybe, if all goes well, I could even cook for Gareth.”
I looked at Melody in surprise and then shook my head at her.
“What?” she asked defensively.
“I should have known this had something to do with a guy.”
“It’s not just about him,” she said quickly. “I want to cook for myself, too… It’s just that I thought making a home-cooked meal sends a sort of personalized and romantic message. It shows you’re really interested.”
“And, are you?”
“Oh, definitely.”
I smiled as we turned the corner towards the café. “Where did you meet him?”
“In the park,” she said. “He caught my eye when he was walking his dog. We happened to bump into each other and fireworks ensued.”
“He’s a dog lover?”
“Yup,” she nodded happily. “He’s got two Australian silky terriers. They’re the cutest. One’s named Smithy, and the other one is Delilah.”
“What happened to the guy you were seeing before Gareth?” I asked curiously. “Wasn’t he a barista or something?”
“Oh right, that didn’t work out.”
“I gathered that much,” I said. “What happened?”
“We didn’t click,” she said, with a shrug.
“Didn’t you sleep with him a couple of times?”
“Turns out once the sex had fizzled out, we weren’t that interested in each other, after all.”
“Oh, Mel.”
“Don’t oh, Mel me,” she said firmly. “The sex was good. I don’t regret it.”
“Fair enough.”
We sat down at a nice little table overlooking the street and ordered a couple of salads to share and some drinks that served as our special treat for working out so hard at the gym. Once we’d gotten our food, Melody turned to me and raised her eyebrows.
“So, any romantic developments with you?”
I hadn’t planned on mentioning it to her just yet, especially because things with Jake and I were so complicated. But a part of me also wanted to talk about it with someone. I just wanted to confide in a friend and get some objective advice. It wasn’t like I could talk to my mother about any of this.
Her conversation with me had stayed in my head for the whole week. Every now and again, I remembered her veiled threat and my palms started sweating. But I figured she was just trying to scare me. That was Mom did best—she liked to play games with me in order to prove her point.
“Well…”
Melody let out a little squeal. “No way!” she cried. “You have met someone.”
“Well, it’s not anyone new.”
“Huh?” she said, looking a little confused. “What does that mean?”
“Uh… I kind of slept with Jake.”
Melody stopped short for a moment and looked at me strangely. “Wait… Jake, as in your boss?”
I blushed slightly as I nodded. “The very same.”
There was another second of silence before Melody grabbed my hand and squealed again. “You are kidding me? Is this for real or are you just pulling my leg?”
I laughed. “I assure you, I am not just trying to pull your leg. We really did sleep together.”
“When?”
“A few weeks ago.”
“And, you tell me this now?” She sounded thrilled and annoyed with me in equal parts.
I smiled. “I wasn’t really sure how it would go, and I didn’t want to tell you before I knew that it was…going somewhere.”
“Wait—so you’re in a relationship with him?”
“Not quite.”
Melody frowned. “Okay, you know what? Let’s start from the beginning.”
I smiled. “Okay.”
“How did it happen?” she asked. “Last I knew, he was being a dick again, and you were planning on quitting.”
“I was,” I nodded. “I was about to hand in my resignation when he had a babysitter emergency.”
“You’re kidding?” she said. “Another one.”
“Someone needed to look after Noah and…”
“You offered?” Melody asked in disbelief.
“Well, I like Noah. He’s such a great kid, and I felt bad, so I offered to take care of him for the rest of the night. We actually had a really nice time together—”
“Are you getting to the good part anytime soon?” Melody asked impatiently.
Rolling my eyes, I continued with the story. “I had just finished putting Noah to bed when I heard a sound coming from Jake’s room, and I went to investigate. He had come back home and looked very upset…”
“About?”
“His wife,” I replied. “He finally opened up about her to me. I suppose it made me realize how difficult it has been for him all these years, having to deal with everything on his own, including raising Noah.”
“Ah, I see how this went,” she said, giving me a suggestive smile. “You comforted him right out of his clothes.”
I smirked. “It wasn’t quite like that… But generally speaking… That was the gist of it.”
“So did he seduce you or was it the other way around?”
“Well, I was the one who kissed him.”
“Nice,” she said with obvious admiration. “I’m impressed. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
I laughed. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I just didn’t peg you for the kind of girl who’d make the first move.”
“You know what?” I said. “I didn’t think I was, either. I guess I just got caught up in the moment. We’d spent almost an hour talking about these intensely personal moments in his life, and it just felt right to kiss him.”
“How was the sex?” Melody asked bluntly.
I smiled. “Amazing.”
“Yup, he looks like he’s amazing in bed,” she nodded.
I laughed. “He was…a very generous lover.”
“Was he the best you’ve ever had?” she asked pointedly.
I paused for a moment, wondering how to answer this question. She misread my hesitation. “He wasn’t?” she said. “That’s surprising, the way you were talking, I just assumed—”
“No, no,” I said cutting her off. “He was the best I’ve ever had. It’s just…”
“Yeah?”
I was feeling a little nervous to admit it out loud, but I decided to just rip off the Band-Aid and have done with it. “Well…it was my first time.”
“What was?” she asked, completely confused.
I raised my eyebrows at her. “That night with Jake…was my first time.”
“First time doing what?”
I smiled. “Having sex.”
Her brow furrowed a little deeper. “You mean it was your first time in a long time?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
“Hold on,” she said, lowering her voice a little. “Are you telling me that you were a virgin before Jake?”
I smiled. “Jackpot; she finally got it.”
“You’re a virgin?” Melody exclaimed.
“Well, obviously not anymore,” I said. “But up until a week or so ago… Yes, I was a virgin.”
“Fuck.”
“Some people wait to have sex, you know,” I said.
“Not any people I know.”
“Until me, of course.”
“Wow,” Melody said, clearly processing through my revelation. “How come it took so long? You’re a hottie; I can’t believe you didn’t have the option before now?”
“I did,” I confirmed. “It was just different for me.”
“How?”
I smiled. “Maybe I was just waiting for my soul mate.”
“Are you serious?” she asked, mistaking my tone.
I laughed. “No, Mel,” I said. “I was joking.”
“Seriously, though, why did you wait so long?”
I sighed. “I came really close when I was about seventeen. I was in the back of Bobby Trevor’s father’s car, and we were making out. His hands were all over me, and we were both half naked. He removed my panties and then…he came.”
“Before—”
“Yup.”
“Oh boy.”
I laughed. “He was really embarrassed…so embarrassed in fact that he didn’t look at me or talk to me after that. I guess that experience made me realize he didn’t really care about me. He wanted my body. I was just a piece of meat to him. It made me see sex differently, and it made me raise my standards. I wasn’t about to give myself to a guy who didn’t give a shit.”
“Surely, there were other guys between then and now?”
“You’d be surprised,” I said. “I told myself that I’d only ever sleep with a man I was deeply connected to. And that didn’t happen for me.”
“Until Jake?” Melody asked.
“Right…”
“Wait, so what you’re telling me is that you’ve fallen for your boss?”
I hesitated. “I’m definitely falling for him,” I admitted.
I felt a little surge of fear as I made that admission out loud. It forced me to confront the choices I was making and the secret I was still keeping from Jake. What would he do when he found out who I really was? How would he react if he realized I was his dead wife’s half-sister? I knew I should have told him a long time ago, but I was just too cowardly to have even attempted the conversation. Now I had dug an even deeper hole for myself by sleeping with him before telling him the truth.
I knew I would have to tell him—and soon. I made a promise to myself that I would come clean with Jake, for the sake of this new and exciting relationship we had embarked upon. I just hoped that it wasn’t too late for me.
“He has a kid,” Melody reminded me.
“I love his kid,” I admitted. “Noah is special.”
“It’s still a big commitment, getting involved with a guy who has a child.”
“I know, but it doesn’t matter to me at this point.”
“Fuck, present tense, Kristen,” she said, looking at me carefully. “You’ve fallen.”