Chapter Six
Vanessa
I felt like I’d spent the whole day thinking back over the dinner with Trethan, analyzing every detail of it. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I reached over and grabbed my phone, quickly calling Julie, needing an outlet.
“Hey, what’s up?” she asked when she picked up the phone.
I sighed heavily. “It’s Trethan.”
“Uh oh, what happened?”
“He came over here for dinner last night. Dad invited him.”
“Oh wow, okay,” she said, sounding interested. “So, what happened?”
I shook my head, even though I knew she couldn’t see it on the other end of the line. “It was so awkward, Julie. You can’t even imagine how awkward it was.” I paused. “Why didn’t anyone tell me that his dad had died?”
“You didn’t know about that?” she asked, sounding surprised. “I would have thought your dad would have told you, or maybe even Trethan himself. Sorry, I would have said something. I just thought you already knew.”
“I had no idea,” I said. “And, I totally put my foot in my mouth at dinner. I asked if he was still living with his dad. Where is he living, anyway? Is he still at that old house?”
“Oh no,” she said. “He bought an apartment over on Fifth not long after he started working for your dad. He’s been trying to sell his dad’s place for months now, but you know how White Bluff is. It’ll probably sell soon, now that it’s summer though.”
“Oh,” I said lamely.
“Are you okay with having seen him?” she asked tentatively.
I grimaced. “I kind of blew up at him when he asked what I was going to do for a job,” I said. “I stormed out of dinner and everything.”
Julie laughed. “You always were so dramatic. Must get tough having everyone asking that though, doesn’t it?”
I sighed. “I think I might still have feelings for Trethan. Or at least, I can’t seem to stop thinking about him, ever since I’ve come back.”
“Uh oh,” she said. “Are you thinking of getting back together with him?”
“Of course not! But...” I trailed off, frowning.
“But what?”
“Dad said he’s changed a lot over the past few years,” I said slowly.
Julie sighed. “Well, sure. Everyone around town knows that.”
“How, though?” I pressed. “I know he’s been working here around the ranch, and obviously, he doesn’t look the same as he did a couple years ago, but what else? He’s more mature?”
“He’s not dealing drugs anymore,” Julie told me. “Rumor has it he’s not even smoking anymore. I mean, he’s still hanging out with that idiot Brent, but he really seems to be doing a lot better.” She paused, and I could tell that there was something more that she wasn’t saying.
“Come on, tell me,” I asked, wanting her to open up a little bit. She was my only source of information, and she knew it.
She was silent for a long moment. “He’s still drinking. Goes down to the Roasted Bison nearly every night. And he sleeps around a lot, too.”
I made a face. “I should have known it was too good to be true.”
“Sorry,” Julie said, sounding like she really meant it. “I wish I could tell you something better. I think he’s doing great, all things considered. Your dad has really taken a shine to him, but in terms of how much he’s changed, I wouldn’t go pinning your hopes on him, again.”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “Thanks, Julie.”
We said our goodbyes and hung up. Even though I knew I should forget about the whole thing, I couldn’t seem to let it go. Finally, I sighed and went downstairs, finding Dad sitting in the living room, a newspaper spread in his lap.
I laughed. “What year is it, old man?” I teased.
Dad looked up, grinning at me. “You youngsters can get your news off your tablets or your smartphones or whatever the latest gadgets are these days. For me, nothing is ever going to beat the feeling of having a hard-copy newspaper in my hands.”
“You’re so traditional,” I said, shaking my head.
He shrugged. “I live in a small town in Montana that time seems to have forgotten about,” he said. “Everything’s traditional here. You realize that most of the businesses in this town, with the exception of Jerry’s Pizza Place, have been in operation for over a decade now? I’ve never minded being a bit behind the times, not when I’m surrounded by like-minded people.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I said. I flopped down on the sofa across from his armchair, trying to think of how to ask what I wanted to ask.
He beat me to the questions, though. “I don’t want to bring up a touchy subject, but what are you thinking about doing for a job around here?” He held up a hand before I could respond. “I’m not asking because I want you to get out of here or anything like that. But like I said, most of the businesses in this town have been around for ages now, and none of those places are a good fit for your skills.”
“And you want me to take over the ranch,” I said with a sigh, preparing for another fight.
“No,” he said, surprising me. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that you don’t want to take over this place. And to be honest, even though I think you’d do a good job, I think it might be better that you don’t take over this place. If your heart isn’t in it, then the ranch will suffer.”
I bowed my head. A shameful blush spread across my cheeks. Dad chuckled. “Come on, you don’t have to be upset about that,” he said. “Vanessa, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. I’m sorry if I didn’t express that as much as I should have before. I’m sorry we ever fought about your owning the ranch. I can’t say I was in the best frame of mind after your mother passed away, and I stupidly thought that maybe if you were going to take over the ranch, you’d come back home. I missed you.”
I smiled at him, appreciating how open he had always been about his feelings. But then, I frowned. “I’m not really sure what I’m going to do yet,” I admitted. I glanced toward him. “I mean, don’t worry. I’m going to look for work around town so I can earn a little money and not have to rely on you for everything. I’m sure someone must be looking for help, especially with the summer tourism season starting to pick up. I can probably find something as a waitress or a bartender, or maybe something in retail. Or something.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Dad protested. “I’m glad that I’ve raised you to be so responsible, don’t get me wrong, but there’s no rush. I want you to be submitting applications to places that you really want to work at, places that will allow you to use your talent. You’ve spent so many years studying art, I know you have a lot of knowledge about the subject. I want you to use that.”
“You know I’m not going to find an outlet for that knowledge here in White Bluff, though,” I said. “And, I can’t just stay here forever without paying rent or anything. I should at least help out around the ranch in the meantime. But now that you have Trethan, there’s probably not much for me to do.”
Dad waved a hand. “Don’t worry about that, either,” he said. “Look, I want you to find a job that you love. There’s no hurry on that. A proper father takes care of his daughter until it’s time she finds a husband who can take care of her. I know that you kids think there’s a different way to live now, but you know me, always traditional. My parents provided for me until I was ready to take over the ranch on my own. And, I’ll provide for you until you’re ready to forge out on your own.”
His voice softened. “I think it’s wonderful that you took care of yourself as much as you did while you were off at college. I know it can’t have been easy, working a part-time job and still pulling top grades in all your classes. I’m really proud of you, sweetie.
“Now, if you need to spend the summer relaxing and doing nothing more strenuous than going swimming in the river, take the summer and relax a little. Have some fun. Okay?”
I smiled at him, wondering how I had gotten so lucky to have such wonderful parents. “Thanks, Dad,” I told him. “I really appreciate how understanding you’re being about this. I just don’t know where I want to go. Obviously, I want to do something with art, but I’m not sure what exactly. I thought about working for one of the big companies, going someplace like New York or, I don’t know, maybe Chicago. Or Austin. The point is, none of those places felt quite like coming home.”
Dad smiled at me. “I’m glad I was able to build a home that you want to come back to, after five years away,” he said.
“I am, too,” I told him quietly.
I hesitated, wanting again to bring up the matter of Trethan, but the last thing I wanted after such a good conversation with Dad was to ruin things by talking about Trethan and whatever problems he might still have. So instead, I hopped up off the sofa and went over to kiss Dad’s cheek. “I’m going to get dinner started, all right? I was thinking we could have that Cajun pasta dish that Mom always used to make.”
“That sounds great,” Dad said, smiling up at me. “Do you need any help?”
“No, I’ve got it,” I said. “Unless you’ve moved anything around in there since the last time I cooked?”
He shook his head, looking off into the distance for a moment. “I don’t cook all that much anymore,” he admitted, which I might have guessed at.
I silently promised to cook healthy meals for us all summer. It was the least I could do for him, considering how understanding he’d been about my finding a career. “You’re in for a treat, tonight,” I said. “Sandwiches and whatever else you’ve been living on are fine, but you could do with a real meal or two.” I glanced at my watch. “Should be ready in about an hour. Is that okay?”
“Sounds great,” he said.
I paused in the doorway and glanced back at him, watching him pick up his newspaper and resume his reading. I smiled and bounded into the kitchen.
Trethan could never be that kind of man, I realized. He wasn’t responsible enough or caring enough. He’d never be the kind of husband who could provide for me or provide for whatever children he might have. The thought made me sad. I tried to shake it off and focus on cooking, but it stuck there in the back of my mind, along with all the other thoughts about Trethan that I’d had since coming home.
Once, I would have thought Trethan and I could be something special, that we could work through all his issues and become something amazing. But the older I got, the more I realized how impossible that really was, no matter how much I wanted it.