* * *

“Good morning.”

Setting my phone on the floor beside the leg of the deck chair, I turned my upper body to face Aaron at the sliding doors and smiled at him sleepily. We’d only gone to bed four hours ago, after we’d both started dozing off watching infomercial after infomercial, running commentary on them the entire time. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed so much, and that was saying something because I almost always had a good time around my friends and family.

“Morning,” I said to him in a low voice. “You couldn’t sleep either?”

He shook his head as he closed the door behind him, balancing a tray in his one free hand as he came toward me. His face held all the signs of how tired he was, and I was positive I looked the exact same. “Yeah, I couldn’t go back to sleep,” he replied, setting the tray down on the small table and taking the same seat he’d used the morning before.

A girl could get used to this, I thought, as I took it from him with a “thank you” that hopefully didn’t sound like I love you or you’re amazing. “You really don’t have to do this,” I let him know, giving him a smile at the same time.

He had his back to me as he picked up his own bowl from the tray. “I know,” was all he said as he faced me again with his breakfast held against his chest. “Texting your mom?” he asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” I told him with a smirk. “She’s making sure I’m alive, basically telling me not to flash my boobs at a camera and trying to convince me to text her every hour.”

“Every hour?”

“Yes.”

He laughed.

“I know. She’s lucky if any of my other siblings call or text her once while they’re on vacation. She’s nuts.”

“You can give her my number if you want,” he offered.

Give my mom his number. Why? Why? Why did he have to be so damn near perfect? It wasn’t fair. It really wasn’t. What also wasn’t fair was that I now needed to tell him the truth about what I’d done. “I did give her your cell phone number last night in case of an emergency. I hope that’s okay,” I said to him.

He blinked. “Yeah, it’s fine.” Aaron stirred his spoon into the oatmeal, giving me a side look I couldn’t miss. “Did you give her my social too?”

My face flamed up for what must have been the thousandth time since I’d met him two days ago. I wanted to lie, I really did. But I had promised him I wouldn’t, and I didn’t want to go back on my word. So I told him the truth, even though I pretended my oatmeal was the most interesting thing on the planet. “I wrote it down on a piece of paper and stuck it under my bed.”

There was a pause. Then, “How would anyone know to look there for it?”

I gave him another side look and pretended I cleared my throat because there was something there and not because I was ashamed I’d done what any other sensible woman would have done. “I left a note with my stepdad with instructions, just in case something happened,” I practically whispered. “He’s the most trustworthy one in the whole house.”

Aaron didn’t say anything.

He didn’t say anything for so long I slid a look at him.

But when I did, his pinched eyes and equally pinched mouth were the first things that I focused on. Followed by that was the fact that his shoulders and upper body were shaking just a little, just a little, little, little, so little that I hadn’t been able to sense it sitting next to him. After a moment, his right hand reached up toward his face and he slapped the palm of his hand over his eyes as he said very, very slowly, “What did the instructions say?”

Blushing for the fifty-first time, I admitted it. “That if I go missing to try and contact you first. I put your name and number on there, and your dad’s PO box. I also wrote where they can find your social and Max’s address,” I muttered, feeling so ashamed with myself but also proud that I expected the worst and that’s what a smart girl would do. “Then I wrote that no one better take my things until I’ve been missing at least two years, after that they’re allowed to give up hope finding me.”

He said nothing. Not a single thing, and it only made me want to go searching for my black hole again.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t like I was expecting you to be a serial killer or a sex trafficker or anything, but you can’t be too careful, you know what I mean? Imagine—” I had to clear my throat again before I could get the words out “—imagine if I was your sister. You’d tell me to do the same thing, wouldn’t you?”

One deep brown eye opened and looked at me, his beautiful, handsome face slightly pink. Aaron nodded, just a little, just enough to notice. But it was his dimple that caught my eye. “I’m not giving you shit over it. That’s good you did that,” he managed to get out with that cute dent still out and about.

“Okay,” I mumbled back at him, still embarrassed that I’d practically admitted that I didn’t trust him enough, like those wives who thought their husbands were going to kill them and left letters behind pointing fingers at them. “I do trust you though. I think if someone tried to take me, you’d at least fight them for me a little…” I watched his face for a moment before narrowing my eyes. “Wouldn’t you?”

That had his other eye popping open, his cheeks still slightly pink, but everything else about him completely alert. “You know I would.”

Why that pleased me so much, I wasn’t going to overanalyze.

“If someone tried to take you, I know aikido, some jiu-jitsu, and kickboxing,” I offered him up. “But my dentist says I have really strong teeth, so I’d be better off trying to bite someone’s finger or ear off instead.”

Aaron’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead almost comically. “Like a little Chihuahua,” he suggested, the spoon going into his mouth with a sly grin.

I winked at him, immediately regretting it. I didn’t want it to come across like I was flirting. “I was thinking more of a piranha. I’ve only had one filling in my entire life,” I told him, wishing each word coming out of my mouth wasn’t coming out of it.

If he thought I was being awkward or a flirt, he didn’t make it known. “Or a raptor.”

“A lion.”

“A tiger.”

“Did you know a jaguar has twice the strength in its bite than a tiger does?”

Aaron frowned as he took another bite of his oatmeal. “No shit?”

“No. Two thousand pounds per square inch. They’re the only big cat that kills their prey by biting its head, through bone and everything. A tiger bites the neck of whatever animal they’re eating to cut their air and blood flow off. Crazy, huh?”

He looked impressed. “I had no idea.”

I nodded. “Not a lot of people do.”

“Is there anything that bites harder than they do?”

“Crocodiles. The really big ones. I’m pretty sure they have about 4000 or 5000 psi bites.” For the fifty-second time, I shrugged. “I like watching the Animal Channel and Discovery,” I said, making it sound like an apology.

Aaron gave me that soft smile that made me feel like my insides were on fire. Then he winked. “I don’t know much about crocodiles, but I know all about alligators,” he offered. “Did you know there are only two species left in the world?”

“There are?”

“American alligator and the Asian alligator. More than a fifth of all of them live in Florida.”

“We have some gators in Texas. There’s a state park by Houston where you can go and you can usually see a bunch. I went camping there one time.”

One corner of his mouth tilted up as he chewed. “Look at you, Rebel Without a Cause.”

With anyone else, I’d probably think they were picking on me, but I could see the affection on Aaron’s face. I could feel the kindness that just came off him in waves, so I winked back at him. “I live life on the edge. I should start teaching a class on how to be bad.”

“Right? Quitting your job, coming to Florida even though you were worried….” He trailed off with a grin and a look out of the corner of his eye.

“I pretty much have my masters and license to practice. I’ll teach people everything I know.”

I didn’t miss the other quick look he shot my way. “As long as they don’t ask about boyfriends.”

I shoved at his shoulder before I realized what I was doing and laughed, loud, so much louder than I had so far. “I’m just waiting for the right one. I thought you were on board with me waiting now?”

Those deep brown eyes met mine, and he flashed those white teeth at me. “I am. What are you rushing for?”

That was pretty much the complete opposite of what he’d been drilling into my head since he’d found out about my lack of relationships, but he was right. What was the rush? It wasn’t like any other guy I’d meet any time soon—or ever—would or could compare to this one. I could feel it. Clearing my throat, I looked down at my bowl of oatmeal again as I said, “The good thing is, now I can quit going to church trying to pick up all the divorced and widowed dads.”

His snicker had me glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope.” I smirked, taking in that handsome face that had me sighing on the inside. “Is that okay?”

The spoon was on the way to his mouth when he said, “I wouldn’t expect anything else from you.” Then he winked again. “Eat your food so we can go,” he ordered right before taking another bite, his eyes on me, his cheeks showing he was smiling even as he chewed.

Why? What had I done in another lifetime to deserve this?

I did what he said and managed to get about three bites in before his words really clicked. “Where are we going?” I asked him the second I’d swallowed my food.

“Fishing,” he said casually.

I said the words slowly to make sure I’d heard him correctly. “Did you say fishing or swimming?”

That time he did slide me a sneaky look. “Fishing,” he enunciated.

“Swimming?”

Aaron finally turned to look at me with a smile on his beautifully sculpted face. “F-i-s-h-i-n-g.”

I hummed in my throat and ate two bites before I said, just low enough for him to barely hear me, “I don’t really want to.”

He had the nerve to wink at me again. “I figured. That’s why we should go.”

“I don’t have a rod.”

“There are some here you can borrow.”

Setting the plate on my lap, I started to reach for my left wrist with my right hand, “My wrist is a little sore….”

He snorted, seeing straight through my crap.

I’d asked for this, hadn’t I? It didn’t mean I had to be graceful about it the entire time. With a groan, I pretty much made a crying face and slowly nodded. Basically whining out a “Fine” that had him grinning in triumph. “I’m not touching it while it’s still alive though.”

Aaron had a big grin on his face when he agreed, “Deal.”

* * *

“How have you never been fishing before?”

He hadn’t been lying when he said there were extra fishing rods at the house. Part of me had been hoping that he’d change his mind… or that it would rain, but neither thing had happened. After we’d gone to get four fishing licenses—one for him, one for me, another for Des and Brittany, who had overheard us arguing about going fishing and decided they should get one too—I’d started to accept that it was going to happen regardless of whether I wanted it to or not.

I could have done without it.

Standing beside the truck, with both poles in my hands, I shrugged as he pulled out the minnows he’d bought at the same store we’d gotten our licenses at. Fresh minnows that I wasn’t going to touch. Nope.

“My dad took my brothers a few times from what I remember, just off the pier at the beach closest to us,” I explained, watching him. “After he moved back to California, there was never enough time when he’d come down to visit to just… take us fishing, you know?” I eyed the bucket he had the minnows in and grimaced. “Not that it’s ever really interested me to begin with.”

Aaron snickered with his back to me. “It’s pretty relaxing if you give it a chance.”

I highly doubted that.

“It won’t be that bad. If you hate it, you don’t ever have to do it again,” he told me, making it seem like that would be the case for the rest of my life. Just like that. I’d never have to do it again.

While I appreciated what he was implying, I accepted that I needed to quit being a chicken and just… do things. Even if it meant touching a minnow to put it on the hook or whatever it was called. Even if I screamed while I did it and maybe cried during and after. “Did your dad take you fishing when you were younger?”

His head bobbed in a nod. “Almost every Sunday. He worked a lot, but Sundays were our days, after church, to go do things as a family. When we’d go on summer vacation, we’d always go somewhere where we could fish.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Yeah. I still remember it. That’s the whole point about doing family things together. I remember most of them, especially after our mom left.” He’d been speaking so easily before he dropped the “M” word that I almost missed the way his entire body tensed up in reaction.

He’d rarely mentioned his mom before to me. I’d wondered what the deal with her was, but now that I knew, and now that I’d seen his reaction… I wished I hadn’t. It didn’t take a genius to know it was a sensitive spot for him.

And it also made a ton of sense how he’d react to my mom being overprotective and his views on marriage. My dad had left too, but he’d still been an active member of my life even afterward. I would never call my dad my “biological father” or anything like that. He was my dad, my father figure through thick and thin. I’d never doubted he loved me.

As much as I wanted to contemplate what he’d just said, I knew I only had a matter of time to change the subject and act like his mention was no big deal. He didn’t want to talk about it, and I understood. So I changed the subject. “Our family bonding time in my family was on Sunday with everyone cleaning the house. My mom would make us all chip in making dinner. Then we’d all sit around and watch a movie. Every Sunday. My brothers wouldn’t even bother asking to go out with their friends on that day because it didn’t matter if they were seventeen, that was family day for whoever was still living with her.”

He chuckled and it only sounded partially forced. “Does she still do that?”

I snorted and watched as he rolled his shoulders back, as if willing them to relax. “No. She stopped after she married husband number three. By that point, I was already a sophomore in high school, Jasmine had her ice-skating going on, and my brothers and Tali were older. But now, everyone still comes over at least once every other week for dinner at the same time or breakfast or whatever. I don’t actually know how they schedule that to make it work. I guess I never thought about it. They just show up.”

“Have you talked to any of them beside your mom since you got here?”

“No. I don’t bother them when they go somewhere without me. None of them have messaged me except my little sister. I’m a little worried Jasmine hasn’t sent me any more texts, but I’m hoping it’s just because she’s mad and my mom has been relaying my messages to her,” I explained. “Either that or she’s taken all my stuff and she’s being sneaky.” I smiled. “Have you talked to your dad?”

“No.” He slammed the tailgate closed and faced me. “He knows I’m here. I told you, we’re not all that close.”

That just sounded sad as hell to my ears. “Because of you going into the military?”

Aaron shrugged, and in this case, it didn’t seem to be an upset one. “We’ve always been like that. He’d… give and would do anything I needed financially, you know? The basics. More than the basics, I guess. He was there as much as he let himself. My dad doesn’t show a whole bunch of emotion. That’s just the way he is. He didn’t coddle or tuck us into bed every night or anything like that. He spent time with us. But after I told him I was going to enlist, things got strained between us.” I must have been making a face because Aaron winked. “It’s not that bad, Ruby. He loves me in his own way. He just wanted more from me.”

“I’m not trying to criticize him. Nobody’s parents are perfect. But it just makes me a little sad that you aren’t closer to him, is all. But… I don’t know. Everyone deserves hugs and to know that someone in the world still worries about them, no matter what they’re doing, or even if they’re mad at one another. I’d never do that to anyone.” I made sure to meet his gaze when I said, “You’re great the way you are, military or not. I’d be proud of you regardless of what you did with your life.”

The smile had gradually crept off Aaron’s face the longer I talked, and I started to worry I’d said something wrong. I’d overstepped my boundaries, hadn’t I?

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to criticize your family—”

“That’s not it,” he said almost cryptically, still standing there, watching me with that careful expression on his face. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and in three long strides he was standing in front of me, the hand not holding what he’d called our bait bucket, was cupping my cheek. As he pretty much towered over me, with his head tilted down, I could feel the hint of Aaron’s breath on my chin, just a little puff. Almost nonexistent like he was holding his breath.

Then his thumb moved, just a small swipe that might have only covered an inch of my cheekbone.

What was happening?

Something almost cool brushed across one small spot on my forehead the second before what was obviously his thumb made another tiny path over my skin.

Aaron had kissed me on the forehead.

I was naïve but not that naïve, and it confused the heck out of me.

But as quickly as he’d come to stand in front of me, he took a step back. His words were that soft, commanding thing he’d given me in the past. “All right, enough talking. Let me teach you what to do.”

* * *

“Then he made me throw it back in,” I told them all with a sideways glance to Aaron, who was sitting beside me at the restaurant we were at.

He smiled, and beneath the table, the side of his shoe bumped into mine. “I told you we were releasing them.”

“Yeah, but those had all been tiny. We were out there for what? Six hours before I caught the big one?” I’d gotten fried out in the surf with him and had the sunburn on my neck to prove it. It had taken about an hour for him to teach me how to use the spin casting rig, and even then, my technique had been pretty iffy. But we’d wandered out into the water and cast line after line out for hours, whispering jokes to one another as we tried to stand as still as possible, failing at being quiet at least five times when I’d feel something brush my leg and I’d shout.

Aaron had only made about four shark jokes the entire time we’d been out there.

I hadn’t touched the first two fish I’d caught that had been too small, but by the third one, Aaron had made me poke it. When he’d caught one, he made me hold it for a second and I might have wailed. By the time I caught one so big I’d figured he would prepare it and make for dinner… I’d held it in my hands—wiggling, thrashing—at least until he’d unhooked it and then tossed it back into the water to live another day.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to eat fish again after holding a live one in my hands, but the day had been a lot more fun than I ever could have imagined. Fishing. Me. Who would have thought?

A gentle hand came up to cup the back of my neck then, conscious of the swollen pink skin that had taken a beating under the sun’s rays, and I could sense Aaron leaning closer to me as he said, loud enough for everyone at the table in the pub to hear, “I’m really proud of you.”

I did know he was proud of me. He’d kissed my forehead once more after I’d caught the fish and told me those same exact words, and when I’d gone to hug him for the first time since the day he’d picked me up at the airport, he’d hugged me back. Squeezed me. Needy, needy, needy. All warm and solid and affectionate and perfect.

“We were going to meet up with you, but someone suddenly started feeling bad,” Des chipped in with a smirk.

Brittany rolled her eyes from her spot across the table from me. “My stomach was hurting. It’s not like there’s a bathroom out there for me to use. What was I supposed to do? Go in the water?”

Des shrugged and had her mumbling “nasty.”

“You did great for it being your first time,” Aaron repeated.

It was sad how much I ate up his attention and praise, like I’d never gotten it before.

“Need more time to decide?” came a voice from my left that had already become familiar to me. It was the waitress. The very attractive waitress. One of the handfuls of women I’d already spotted eyeballing the heck out of Aaron.

It had taken all of two minutes after we’d gotten out of his truck for the looks to begin. I wasn’t sure if I’d just been too overwhelmed the first day to notice all the attention Aaron got or if I was just that oblivious, but the truth was: there was no ignoring it now. The teenage hostess at the restaurant had taken one look at Aaron and Max and turned redder than I ever had. She’d stuttered her way through a greeting before leading us to a table, only turning around every two steps to look at both of them.

And then the waitress had appeared.

“You’re back!” the woman had basically shouted before we’d gotten to the table.

Everyone except Mindy and me apparently knew who she was because they had immediately greeted her. From the bits and pieces I picked up as the four of them greeted her, they knew her from the last trip they’d taken to Port St. Joe. All I could gather was that they had gone out drinking together, or something like that. It wouldn’t have meant anything.

Until she’d turned to Aaron and Max with a smile on her face and asked, just asked, “You both still have girls?”

Like that. Just like that.

To give him credit, it was Max that answered with a “Not anymore” that had me looking away and, at the same time, reminding myself that it was true. At least Aaron was single now. And if he’d been here before he’d shipped out, he hadn’t been back then. He was now.

The woman had taken everyone’s drink order in between playful touches of shoulders and more than one wink I hadn’t been sure who it had been aimed at, but while she’d been gone, Aaron had jumped into our fishing story, distracting me with the way he told it, sounding so pleased. But the waitress was back, and I didn’t like the way my stomach felt in reaction to her presence.

“What do you recommend on the menu?” Max asked, still holding the menu in his hands.

The friendly, pretty waitress didn’t even think about her answer as she stood at the foot of the table, directly between Aaron and Max. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her because she was so attractive; no one held a flame to the women in my family. Also, I wasn’t that kind of person. Mostly, the ache in my intestines came from the blatant attention she was showing Max and Aaron. Realistically, I knew I couldn’t blame her. I did. They were both too good-looking for their own good.

But… she’d touched Aaron’s shoulder twice since we’d sat down. I’d counted.

“The chicken and waffles is one of our bestsellers,” the woman answered Max’s question, her eyes settling on Aaron for a moment as her flirting smile turned into a coy one highlighted by her bubble gum pink lipstick.

Friends don’t get jealous when other friends get hit on, I reminded myself.

“Lots of folks like the frog legs, too,” she added.

Frog legs?

“Frog legs?” I heard Mindy echo beneath her breath from her spot beside me, sounding just as horrified as I felt.

“It’s a local favorite,” the waitress threw in, like that would make it sound more appetizing, with a bright smile aimed at the younger girl.

“I’ll take the chicken and waffles,” Des basically muttered with Brittany echoing that order, followed by me. Mindy and Aaron chose something with a sandwich.

“I’ll take an order of frog legs,” Max piped up, grinning.

“Oh, gross, Max,” Mindy muttered.

“What?” He shrugged as he handed over the menu to the waitress with a wink before she backed away.

“That’s disgusting.”

“I’m sure it’ll taste like chicken. Everything tastes like chicken.”

Even Brittany shook her head with an “Ugh.”

Max’s eyes met mine and I smiled at him shyly. “Everything does taste like chicken. I had gator once, tastes just like it.”

Mindy turned in her chair to look at me. “You’ve had alligator?”

I nodded. “I had sheep’s head once.”

“You what?”

“In Iceland. Our tour guide didn’t tell me what it was and I tried it. I’d never eat it again, but it wasn’t the worst thing I’d ever had,” I explained.

Mindy was looking at me with a horrified expression on her face, her fingers picking at the napkin she had rolled up. “What was the worst?” she asked hesitantly, like she didn’t really want to know the answer but couldn’t help herself.

Fidgeting with my hands on my lap, I smiled and looked over at Aaron who was watching me. “I’ve had cow tongue a few times. That was good actually—”

“Cow tongue?” that was Brittany.

“Yeah. They sell it all over the place in Houston. I’ve had dinuguan—”

“What’s that?” Max asked.

I scrunched up my nose, remembering eating that way too clearly. “It’s a Filipino dish that my dad made me try. Its pig intestines, kidneys, lungs, heart, and the snout cooked in its blood—”

At least four of them said a variation of “eww” that made me grin.

“I know. My dad claimed it was dessert, like pudding. He loves it. I can’t eat pudding anymore because of that, no matter what color it is.”

“I’m not going to be able to eat pudding anymore after that….” Mindy trailed off.

“That’s not the worst,” I started to say before I shut my mouth. “Never mind. I’m just going to stop now. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s food.”

“There’s something more gross than that?” Brittany asked.

I lifted my shoulders, not wanting to say more.

“Now you need to tell us,” she insisted.

“We can handle it,” Max kept going.

“No, seriously, you don’t want me to tell you,” I tried to explain.

“Come on, Rubes,” Aaron chimed in, making me glance at him.

“I’ll just close my ears,” Mindy offered. “I don’t want to know.”

I watched them and asked, slowly, “Are you sure?”

Four nods around the table confirmed they were sure. Even Mindy raised her hands to the side of her head, middle fingers already going to her ears to plug them in.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, okay?” I reminded them. They all looked so confident… it almost made me laugh. “I’ve never tried it, but my dad has a bunch of times—”

“What is it?” Max asked.

“It’s called balut. I’ve watched him eat it and I didn’t gag, and I’m pretty proud of myself for it—”

“What is it?”

“Jesus, Max, give her a second,” Aaron chimed in, his big hands resting on the table.

I squeezed my fingers between my thighs and just got it over with. “It’s a duck embryo in its shell.”

Four sets of eyeballs blinked. But it was Des that slowly asked, “Excuse me?”

“It’s a—”

“No, no, I heard you.” He cut me off, still taking his time with his words. He blinked, lowered his voice, and squinted his eyes. “How?”

“How what?”

“How do you…?” he stammered.

I knew what he was trying to ask and I cringed, regretting bringing this up. “The baby duck is boiled… alive.”

Four different people made dry-heaving and gagging sounds.

“And they eat that?” I’m pretty positive that was Brittany.

I nodded.

“I’m sweating thinking about it,” Brittany definitely whispered, visibly letting out a shudder.

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” I apologized.

Des’s face was definitely a little green. “You’ve eaten it?”

“She said she hasn’t,” Aaron said. “Your dad did, right?”

I nodded. “Nothing grosses him out food wise. I try to be as brave as he is, but I can’t.”

“Has one of your brothers or sisters tried it?” my friend asked.

That had me laughing out loud. “No way. That’s the only thing they aren’t willing to take risks with.” And trying new food was one of the only things I wasn’t too afraid to try.

“I’m never going to look at a duck the same way again…,” Des mumbled.

“Can I take my fingers off my ears now?” Mindy asked a little too loudly, her eyes sweeping around the table.

I smiled and nodded.

The younger girl looked around the circle and frowned as she lowered her hands. “I’m going to guess I should be happy I missed that conversation. You guys look like you’re going to be sick.”

Max made a coughing sound, turning in his chair. “Is it too late to change my order?”

It wasn’t.

We must have all been thinking about ducks and/or pretty waitresses that came by every few minutes to check on us more than any other table, because no one really spoke much after our food was dropped off. We ate silently, and every once in a while, I’d meet Aaron’s gaze as I chewed.

“I want to go check out some of the shops around here before they close. Text me when you’re ready to go,” Mindy said, pushing her chair back. “Anyone want to come?”

When no one immediately said anything, it made me feel bad, so I pointed at the food I still had left on my plate. “I’m going to finish eating, but I’ll go look for you when I’m done.”

She gave me a little smile and flicked her brother on the ear on her way out of the restaurant, apparently assuming he’d pay for her meal. That made me miss my own brothers and sisters.

“I’m going to get a beer. Any of you want anything?” Aaron asked a moment later, standing up. His hand squeezed my shoulder. “Ruby?”

“I’m fine,” I told him, perfectly okay with my glass of water.

He gave me a faint smile just as Max said, “Get me a beer. You know what I like.”

“Get me one too,” Des piped in.

Aaron snickered, releasing the hold on my shoulder. “I’m not buying either of you shit, come with me or give me cash.”

“So you can forget to give me my change? Nah,” came Max’s response as he pushed away from the table too. Des groaned but got up too, following his friends to the bar. I only watched him for a second before looking back down at my plate.

Brittany made a noise, her elbows on the table, as the three men walked away. “You know, I was at a friend’s house once, and her parents are Filipino. They had this crispy pork thing out that I thought was amazing—”

“Crispy pata?” I asked, grinning.

She nodded, dipping a french fry into a giant pile of ketchup she’d squirted on her plate. “I was eating the shit out of it until her mom told me it was knuckles. If I would’ve been anywhere else, I would’ve thrown up.”

“It is good, but yeah, it is a little gross when you think about it.”

She tipped her head to the side and looked at me. “You can’t really tell you’re Filipino, except for the shape of your eyes.” She blinked. “That sounds really racist. I’m sorry. Mindy’s been rubbing off on me this week.”

I snorted. “I get it. My mom has really red hair and she’s super pale. I got a weird mix of both of them. No one can ever tell what I am.”

“No shit?”

“It’s true. One of my sisters has red hair and the other one has black hair like our dad,” I told her, casually glancing at the bar where Max, Aaron, and Des had just headed.

My eyes froze there for a moment.

Leaning forward across the counter of the bar was the waitress, and she was smiling and laughing, talking to the three of them who were all smiling and laughing at her too.

Was that indigestion or…

No. That wasn’t indigestion making my upper chest feel tacky. It was me being jealous like crazy in the blink of an eye.

I had no right to be jealous. No right at all. Zero. Zilch. She was pretty and outgoing. She could do whatever she wanted.

Stop freaking looking, Ruby. You wouldn’t be looking if it was anyone else. Which was the truth.

I glanced back at Brittany, hoping she hadn’t noticed where my attention had been, even as everything north of my chest went hot. “Where’s your family from?” I got out, trying to distract her.

She lifted a shoulder. “My dad’s from Ethiopia. My mom’s Creole. They’ve been in Louisiana forever,” she explained.

“Was Des the one who moved to Shreveport in elementary school or was that Max?” I asked at the same time a cute laugh from the direction of the bar reached my ears. I tried, I tried my hardest not to look at the bar again.

I failed.

I peeked, just out of the corner of my eye.

Aaron was still laughing at something the waitress was saying. That handsome face had a pleasant, easy expression on it, his body language was forward… and he wasn’t looking at her the way he looked at me. Affectionately. Or like a puppy. He was just… looking.

I’m not sure why that made me want to throw up, but it did. Realistically, I should have been happy he didn’t give everyone the faces he gave me. And it wasn’t like he was taking her in like he was interested either. I’d witnessed that face enough in person to recognize it for what it was.

He was just looking at her. And it still felt like a knife blade into my belly. Because I knew what it meant, what it reminded me of.

One day, regardless of what he said about relationships and marriage, he was going to have another girlfriend. It could be a month from now, it could be a year from now, but it was going to happen.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

He wasn’t my boyfriend or my lover, and I needed to be grateful I even had that much, I told myself as I squeezed my hands into fists beneath the table. He was my friend who cared about me. He was a man who didn’t want to get married. He was a man who only wanted to share part of himself with me. I had no business looking or caring. None.

And yet….

“Des is the one who’s known him his whole life. Max moved to Shreveport when they were in high school,” Brittany explained, her words helping me focus on her and not anyone or anything else.

I nodded, swallowing down a ball of what I wasn’t going to consider being agony. “That’s cool.”

Brittany nodded, her own eyes flicking in the direction where mine really, really wanted to go to again. But I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t. The cute, high-chiming laugh belonging to the waitress seemed to carry across the freaking restaurant one more time, and it was so cute and sweet it made me feel like mine sounded like a donkey, loud and abrasive, uncultured and just… me. Awkward. This was why I didn’t compare myself to other people.

My traitorous eyes slid toward the bar even though I knew better. And I saw that the waitress had her hand really close to Aaron’s on the bar counter. I glanced back as fast as I could, luckily beating out Brittany’s gaze. I was too strung out to notice the frown on her mouth.

“She’s a real fucking flirt, isn’t she?” she stated under her breath, her eyes narrowing.

Pressing my lips together, I tried to act stupid. “Who?”

“The waitress,” she said, still looking in that direction. “Every time we came in here last time we visited, she was just a little too friendly even to Des, seeing me sitting next to him. I don’t like it.”

I couldn’t tell her I didn’t like it either, but I smiled like I could understand where she was coming from. “Des is really cute.”

That had Brittany instantly grinning over at me. “He is, huh?”

I nodded.

“Aaron’s not too hard on the eyes either if you like that kind of Captain America thing,” she joked.

Yeah, me playing it cool ended there. I didn’t trust myself not to say something stupid and instead giggled. Giggled. How much more fake could I get? I hadn’t giggled since I was seventeen and around Hunter.

It must have been obvious I was full of crap because she laughed. “I’ve tried asking Des what’s going on between you two and he says he doesn’t know.”

“Oh, there’s nothing—”

She rolled her eyes.

“Really, there’s nothing. He called me his little sister one day,” I explained, reaching up to scratch at my neck.

Brittany’s mouth twisted to the side for a second, like she thought I was full of crap, but she didn’t say anything else, settling for just taking a sip of her iced tea.

There was another laugh from the bar that had my throat knotting up, and I knew what I needed to do. Pushing my plate forward, I took another sip of my water and shoved my chair back. “I was thinking about taking a walk around and see if I can find Mindy.”

She nodded, her expression focused on the bar again until her eyes flicked to mine briefly. “Want me to go with you since Prince Charming over there is busy?” she asked.

I shook my head. “I’ll be fine, unless you want to come.”

“I’m saving to buy a house. I shouldn’t be doing any shopping right now. I don’t have any self-control,” she explained.

“Okay,” I told her a little too quickly, my smile a little too brittle as another cute laugh made its way to our mostly empty table.

My hands were not shaking as I pulled out the approximate amount of money my bill was going to be plus tip and left it in the center of the table. I was not about to cry. No. No. No. When I forced my eyes not to blink, I reasoned that they needed some ventilation, not because I was worried one bad blink would lead me to burst out crying.

“I’ll see you in a minute then.”

On my feet, with my purse going over my head, I told myself not to look at the bar again.

And I failed. Like usual. Like I did at most things.

This time, the three men were all sitting at the counter, listening to the waitress talk openly about who knows what. And they were all smiling. Who was I to get mad about someone making Aaron happy when all I’d heard was how unusual it was for him to have those kind of reactions?

I wanted to be jealous and petty, but I couldn’t be.

That was a lie. I could. But I wouldn’t let myself.

And so, even though my hands shook and sweated, I shot Brittany another smile and wormed my way through the crowd of tourists, heading toward the door. The cool air was more than welcome on my nostrils even if it did nothing for the ugly, bitter feeling bubbling around in the pit of my stomach at the stupid image in my head of Aaron smiling and laughing at another woman. God, I was acting worse than a crazy girlfriend.

Of all the men in the world I could be nuts about, I had to be in love with the one who saw me as something I didn’t want to be. What was wrong with me? It was like I was asking for the heartbreak since I knew darn well what I was getting myself into. I did this to myself every freaking time, didn’t I? Always. Always falling for the one guy who couldn’t and didn’t see me as more than a friend.

What was wrong with me? Who kept doing this kind of crap to themselves willingly? Knowing how this would end?

Way to go, I told myself. Way to freaking go.

No wonder. No freaking wonder I was where I was.

Maybe I’d been looking at this relationship business the wrong way all along. Maybe I shouldn’t expect fireworks and heart eyes straight from the beginning. Maybe falling in love or liking someone was gradual and it took a few dates. Maybe.

After all, I was listening to my mom who had been married four times.

Maybe I really was expecting too much.

Shoving my hands into the pockets of my shorts, I looked up and down the nearly deserted street and went left, my heart feeling so heavy it was hanging around my belly button. There was hardly anyone out and about as I speed-walked toward the shops I’d seen on the way over, literally fifty feet away from the pub’s entrance.

I’d barely made it halfway down the block when my phone vibrated against my hip, where the body of my purse was resting. Stopping on the corner, I pulled it out and forced a shaky breath out of my mouth that was immediately followed by a tear that rolled out of my eye. I wiped it before it made it far, and stared at the NEW MESSAGE AARON HALL on the screen. Swiping my finger across the screen to unlock it, I told myself the same thing I had from the moment I became aware I had feelings for him. He didn’t see me the way I wanted him to, and even if he did, did I want to be with someone who kept so much to himself?

Not really, my head said, but my heart said it could deal.

I opened the message.

Standing there on the street, I typed back my reply.

I had possibly taken five steps forward after sending the text when my phone vibrated again.

I squeezed the phone in my hand and took a deep breath, reaching up to wipe at my face the second I thought I felt another tear in my eye. I was such a loser. Why was I tearing up?

I answered him honestly even though I didn’t want to. I typed out another message.

I sent it and then added :) because that wasn’t passive-aggressive enough.

That was all his response said.

I typed up I’m used to being alone, but deleted it because that didn’t sound all melodramatic and pathetic at all. Instead, I settled for I’ll be with Mindy. Have fun.

Putting my phone back into my bag, I reached up to my face and pressed my fingers against my brow bone, my thumb on my cheekbone, and let out a shaky breath. I needed to get over this crap, or at least learn how to deal with it better, ASAP. I couldn’t be a jerk to him because of the things going on in my head that he had no part of. I couldn’t be mad at him for flirting with a pretty woman.

…Even if it felt like everything inside of me had gotten beaten up, and I felt defeated and more than a little alone.

My phone didn’t vibrate again as I slipped into the first shop I found open. Mindy wasn’t in it, but I walked around the glassblowing store, taking in all the knickknacks there. Then I went into a souvenir shop and spent some time in there, buying a small magnet for my mom and Ben that was on sale. After that there was a T-shirt store, an art gallery… I must have spent an hour going from one business to the other, never coming across Mindy. It wasn’t until my phone started ringing that I finally pulled it out again. Aaron’s name flashed across the screen.

I held back a sigh as I went to answer it. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

I smiled at the man behind the register as I walked out of the shop, trying to remember what direction I’d come from. “At a store. I couldn’t find Mindy. Are you all done?”

“She just got back here a minute ago. I thought you were going to be with her?”

I knew I was in one of my rare crappy moods when his worry irritated me. “I was going to, but I couldn’t find her. I’ll head back if you’re ready to go.”

There was definitely a sigh over the receiver followed by a, “We’ll see you here. Be careful.”

Squeezing my hands at my sides, I shook off the emotions I could and started walking back in the direction I’d come. It didn’t take me more than ten minutes to make it back to the restaurant after I’d taken a wrong turn a block too early. By the time I made it, I could see the group standing on the street right by the two cars. Brittany was by her white Alero, keys twirling in her hand. The one blond in the group, the one I could probably recognize from a mile away stood beside the passenger door of his pickup, his head swinging left to right, up and down the street.

It was Mindy who spotted me first.

“I had no idea you were looking for me, I’m sorry,” she said immediately once I was close enough.

“It’s okay,” I assured her, making sure to keep my gaze on her face and her face alone.

“I’ll give you my number for next time,” she offered, already rattling off numbers before I even had my phone out.

“I’m sorry for taking so long,” I apologized to the other four, the second Mindy stepped aside. Brittany looked fine, but the three men… not so much. Even with more than five feet between us, I could see the red in Max and Des’s eyes. I still hadn’t glanced at Aaron because, what was the point?

How much had they had to drink?

“Yeah, you’re going to need to drive,” Brittany said, as if reading my mind.

Thankfully, Aaron wasn’t an idiot because he asked, “Ruby, can you drive?”

I nodded, finally glancing in his direction but setting my gaze on his mouth. I started to say that maybe I wasn’t the best person to drive a big pickup around, but with Mindy’s arm in a cast, who else would do it? So I settled for a crusty, “Sure.” I only had to drive. I could do it. I knew enough people with trucks. If they could do it, I could too.

He didn’t toss the keys, and I was thankful for it. Walking toward him, I took them from his hand, noticing he held them a moment longer than he needed to, and walked around to the driver side of the door. The doors were already unlocked as I lunged up on to the first step and then swung inside the cab as Aaron took the passenger seat and Max and Mindy took the bench in the back. I didn’t look at him as I adjusted the seat so I could reach the pedals, and I didn’t look at him as I messed with the mirrors either. I also definitely didn’t look at him as I pulled his truck onto the street.

“Want me to navigate you back?” Mindy asked from the back seat.

“Yes, please,” I told her, fully aware I only knew the basics on where we were supposed to be going.

It wasn’t until we were basically on the straight shot back to the beach house that Aaron’s question came at me, like he was trying to be quiet, but it wasn’t happening. “Did you buy anything?”

He was my friend and I had no reason to get weird. With my hands tight on the steering wheel, I glanced at him quickly and gave him a smile that was totally tight. “Just a magnet for my mom and her husband.”

“Nothing for you?”

In a grumpier tone that I intended, I told him, “No.”

“You didn’t find anything you liked?” he asked.

“There were a few stores with really nice things in them,” I told him, trying to sound normal. Nonchalant. Fine. “I just can’t… you know, be spending money on things I don’t need right now.”

“I would have spotted you if you wanted something.”

Flexing my fingers around the steering wheel, I reminded myself that none of this was his fault. He was just trying to be nice to me. He was always trying to be nice to me. And it made me feel guilty because why did I deserve it? I hadn’t done anything special for it to be called for.

He had no idea how I felt about him. He didn’t deserve my pissy attitude. If I was Jasmine right now, I’d tell her to stop being a brat.

Torn between feeling bad and still holding on to that residual anger simmering in my veins while I flashbacked to the pretty waitress he’d been talking to, I swallowed the golf ball in my throat and really, really tried to be normal. To be kind. To be fair. “That’s okay, but thank you,” I said, only sounding about half as ungrateful as I needed to, my voice higher and squeakier than normal, betraying me. “I already owe you enough.”

Maybe I hadn’t needed to add that part to the end.

“You don’t owe me anything,” Aaron practically whispered.

“If you say so,” I responded just as quietly, my fingers squeezing the steering wheel.

“Ruby—”

I shook my head and shot him a wary smile quickly before glancing forward again, the lie on my lips, the ache in my heart. “You’re a really good friend to me, stalker. Thank you.”

I might have been fine the rest of the night if he’d responded, if he’d said anything, but he didn’t. He just turned his attention toward the window and didn’t say hardly another word to me the rest of the night.