Twenty-Four
I stared at Teagan in stupefied shock. He couldn’t really be in that hallway with me, right? It was just my imagination playing tricks on me; it had to be. But the need to make sure, to confirm what my mind was trying so hard to convince me of, was strong.
With a trembling hand, I reached out to touch his face. The expectation of nothing being there but air was shattered when my hand suddenly felt warm skin. My gaze flew to his in surprise as the realization that he actually was there swept over me. It wasn’t my imagination. It was real.
I inhaled sharply when he raised a hand to mine and held it in place. He closed his eyes for a moment before he turned and pressed a soft kiss against the palm of my hand. I studied him as he did so, taking him in after being without him for so long.
Once again, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. It was obvious Teagan still hadn’t been sleeping. His hair was now a bit on the shaggy side and the scruff on his jaw more pronounced than I was used to seeing. It definitely didn’t detract from his attractiveness, however. It just made him seem all the darker, brooding…more of a bad boy. And it certainly didn’t stop my heartrate from picking up.
I finally acknowledged there probably wasn’t a power on earth that could prevent that from happening.
He opened his eyes and gave me a sad smile as he let my hand go. He twisted and sat beside me on the floor and leaned back against the wall with a sigh. He turned his head toward me and I swallowed hard. My lips parted to speak, to ask why he was there, but his hoarse voice stopped me.
“What can I do to help, Aislinn?”
That pulled me up short. For him to ask me that after the way things had been between us…It made my heart ache. But I frowned and glanced around in confusion. Not understanding what was going on, I asked, “Why are you here, Teagan?”
He reached over and took my hand in his with a gentle smile. My eyes were drawn to his and I found myself captured, frozen. During our time apart I’d forgotten how intense his focus could be. He could pull me in, and at times, it almost seemed like I’d forget to breathe. His strength and presence were powerful, dominating wherever he went. Being the focus of his attention had always had an effect on me.
“I’m here because this is where you need me.”
His statement broke me out of my thoughts and I blinked at him as I focused back on the present. With a shake of my head, I forced my eyes away from his. Now wasn’t the time to get distracted. That moment was when something occurred to me. Eyes narrowed and brow furrowed, I turned to him. “How did you know I was here? Did Connor call you?”
Teagan shook his head and ran his free hand through his hair. “No,” he said with a wry twist of his lips. “It wasn’t him.”
I tilted my head and looked at him, puzzled. “I’m totally confused. How did you know where to come? No one else knows.”
“Well,” he started then paused before he blew out a breath. “It was Caldwell who told me.”
I sat up straight in shock. “What?”
He nodded. “He said you two were on your way here when he called. That you weren’t doing too well.”
The information that Ryan had called him, told him to come all this way to Tallahassee, had me reeling. I didn’t know what to think. This was all too much to process. I tugged my hand away from Teagan’s grasp and shifted so there was more space between us. He noticed, and I saw a quick flash of hurt cross his face before he smoothed it away.
He studied me in silence for several beats before he looked away. “Do you want me to go? I don’t want to make this worse for you right now.”
My heart clenched at the thought of him leaving, causing my chest to physically ache. Despite everything that had happened between us, I still needed him, and he still came to me. I still wanted him. But the reminder that he belonged to someone else now was forefront in my mind.
“Does Lauren know you’re here?” I asked suddenly. I had to know, because, you know, I obviously loved to torture myself.
He frowned but nodded. “Yeah.” His lips twisted into a grimace of a smile. “She’s not happy about it.”
I snorted, not surprised. “I can imagine. I wouldn’t be either,” I muttered.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly that,” I replied defensively. “I wouldn’t appreciate my boyfriend racing off to comfort some other woman.”
He shook his head while wearing a confused frown. “What the hell are you talking about, Aislinn?”
I sighed in frustration and began the struggle to stand. “It means,” I grunted as I clambered to my feet, “that Lauren, as much as I hate to admit it, has a right to be upset with you.” I rubbed eyes that suddenly felt like sandpaper. “You shouldn’t be here, okay? You should be back there with her.” I was proud of how I kept my voice from breaking with that announcement.
He stared at me from where he sat on the floor, and I saw a light of understanding gleam in his eyes. It was quickly followed by a small smile he didn’t try to hide. I scowled, not expecting the reaction I was getting.
“Is that what you think? That Lauren and I are together?” he asked in amusement. At my nod, he chuckled before he leaned and rocked onto his feet and stood up beside me. I tilted my head back to take in his grin and stilled when he took my hand in a firm grip once again. “There’s been no one else since I saw you the first time.”
My breath froze at the matter-of-fact statement, and then my heart began to pound in my chest. The blood rushed through my ears, muffling sound for a moment. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. But before I could dispute it, he continued.
“I made a lot of mistakes with you over the past few months, took a lot for granted where you’re concerned. I’m sorry, baby.” He looked down at his feet and shook his head before he returned his gaze to mine. “But I can tell you this. I am not, nor will I ever again be, involved with Lauren,” he finished, his voice ringing with sincerity.
I swallowed hard and cleared my throat before I spoke. “I saw you two together. You came and apologized for her.”
He tugged me closer to him until I could feel his body heat, and I fought the urge to take that final step toward him. “No,” he corrected. “What you saw was me getting things for my daughter and spending time with her. Lauren was just along for the ride.”
I placed a hand on his chest to stop him from pulling me all the way into him. “But what about the apology?” I asked again, needing to know why he would do that if she weren’t with him.
He sighed and dropped his head to rest his forehead against mine. “Because I felt like it was my fault she’d done that, acted that way toward you. You didn’t deserve it, sweetheart.” He raised his hands to my upper arms and ran them up and down in a soothing motion. “She had no right to do that, to say those things.”
I closed my eyes and savored his closeness even as a question dawned on me. “How did you even know about it, anyway?” I opened my eyes to look into his. “It was late, there weren’t really any other people around.”
He quirked his lips into a sideways smile. “I just found out. That’s all you need to know.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me that last little distance into him. My arms worked up around his back, clutching his shirt in my hands. His smell enveloped me and the tension slowly drained out of me. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry for what happened between us,” he whispered in my ear. “Let me be here for you.”
I nodded against his chest, admitting to myself I needed his strength and warmth just then. As his hands wandered across my shoulders and worked up to the back of my neck and then down again, I sighed. This was what I had missed, his quiet support.
With him there, I knew I could get through what was coming where Mom was concerned.
***
Teagan had finally managed to move us back into the surgery waiting room and sat me down in one of the chairs. Once he was sure I wasn’t going to sneak away, he went over and started to speak with Logan. I took the opportunity to study my fingernails in an attempt to distract myself from the worry and fear. I couldn’t help but see I’d chewed my nails down to ragged edges and my cuticles were bleeding from where I’d been picking at them during the waiting.
I was pulled out of my observations when someone sat down next to me. I glanced and started in surprise when I saw it was Ryan. He studied me in silence with a soft frown before he heaved a breath and looked around the room. His hands rested on his thighs and his shoulders seemed tight as he glanced over at Teagan before returning to me.
“I’m sorry.”
I pulled back slightly and blinked at him, taken off guard. “What?”
“I’m sorry. For everything, you know?”
I shook my head, bemused. “Uh, I don’t know? What are you talking about?”
He reached up and scrubbed his hands over his face before dropping them back down on his thighs. “I fucked up. I shouldn’t have tried to push for more. I just…” He paused and looked at me with a wry smile. “I just really ended up caring about you. But I broke your trust.”
I opened my mouth to respond but he held up a finger to stop me.
“I learned something with all of this, you know?” he said, his tone soft. “Trust is like a shattered mirror. Once broken, you can put the pieces back together but you’ll always see the cracks.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear then continued. “I won’t lie, I wanted—still want, actually—more. But I’m not what you want, sugar. He,” he said as he jutted his chin toward Teagan, “he’s what you need. I can see that. You two? You’ll be okay.”
I blinked in an effort to keep back the tears at his words. I went to reply and he just shook his head and stood. I scrambled up from my seat and faced him.
“I think I’m going to go,” he told me. “You don’t need me right now. But you always know where I am, all right?” He waited for me to nod and then leaned forward and pulled me into a strong hug. “I guess you’ll be my ‘one that got away,’ Aislinn Munroe,” he murmured and then let me go. As he started to turn away, he gave me a wave and a sad, “Take care.”
And then he strode out the doorway and out of my life.
I stared at the empty entrance into the waiting room in silence, attempting to process what had just taken place over the past couple of minutes. I startled when a warm, heavy arm wrapped around me and tugged me into Teagan’s side. I turned to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, relishing his solid strength beside me.
“You okay, baby?” he murmured as he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m just…I dunno, overwhelmed? And exhausted,” I admitted.
“I can imagine,” he agreed. “I do have some good news, though.”
I looked at him in surprise. “You do?”
He nodded with a smile. “They moved your mom out of recovery and into ICU.”
“Oh, thank you, God!” I cried, relief pouring through me. “When can we see her?”
He shook his head. “Not until tomorrow. The doctor said they’re strict with the ICU visiting hours.” He pulled out his phone and handed it to me. “Why don’t you call Connor and let him know where she is, see what he wants you to do, okay?”
I took the phone with a nod and quickly dialed my brother’s number. It barely rang before he answered.
“Teeg? Why are you calling?” he asked.
“It’s me,” I corrected. I took a breath to let him know what was happening when he interrupted.
“What the fuck are you doing on Teeg’s phone, Ash?”
I sighed and rubbed my forehead, exhausted. “It’s a long story and I don’t want to get into it. He wanted me to call you and let you know what’s going on.”
I heard a voice say something and I scowled. “Is someone there with you?”
He huffed a breath and then replied, “It’s a long story too. Just tell me what the update is. How’s Mom?”
A niggle of foreboding trickled over me. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to like what he had to tell me. However, I focused on the current topic and relayed what I had been told. “Mom’s out of surgery and recovery. They’ve moved her into ICU, but we can’t see her until morning. Teagan wanted me to find out what you wanted me to do, stay here, go home, what?”
Connor was silent for a moment and then I heard that voice in the background again before Connor grunted something in return. “Go on home, sis. I’ll be at the hospital in about thirty minutes and can stay there until visiting hours. Get some sleep, okay?”
I hesitated for a moment. “Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting for you.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” He sighed. “Go ahead and have Teeg take you to the house. I’ll call you when I get to the hospital.” He paused for a second. “But you’re going to explain what the hell he is doing there tomorrow, got it?”
“Got it. I love you.”
“Love you, too, squirt. Go get some sleep.”
I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at the phone. With a soft groan, I turned and handed Teagan back his phone. “He said to go on to the house, that he’ll be here in about thirty minutes.”
“Okay,” he said as he took my hand and led me over to Logan. “Hey, we’re going to head on out. We’ll be back after visiting hours start up again, all right?” he asked the tired man sitting in the seat.
Logan gave a jerk of his head in acknowledgment then glanced up at me. “I’m sorry we had to meet like this, Aislinn. I really am.”
I shrugged and felt myself start to thaw toward him. Looking at his dark eyes, drawn face, and rumpled clothes, I could tell he truly cared about my mom…and wasn’t that all that really mattered in the grand scheme of things? Without warning and without overthinking it, I stooped down and gave him a quick hug. He froze in surprise before his arms came around me and he patted my back awkwardly. After several moments, I stood back up and gave him a smile.
“It’s all right, Logan. I can kind of understand where Mom was coming from,” I said with a shrug. “But I’m going to warn you, Connor won’t be as receptive. Be prepared for some serious fallout.”
He nodded, accepting the advice. “Thanks. So, I’ll see you two in a few hours?”
“Yeah,” Teagan answered as he held out his hand to shake the older man’s. “I’ve got your number, so we’ll call when we’re on our way.”
With a final round of goodbyes, Teagan turned and led me out of the waiting room in silence. By the time we made it to his truck, I was dead on my feet and could barely stand. Truth of the matter was I couldn’t even bring myself to think about complaining when Teagan helped me into the front seat, buckled me in, and closed the door. Before we even left the parking garage on our way home, I was asleep.