Chapter 6

Ian

The shift at the hospital was pure torture, the main event of the day being a bus of students from a summer camp that had an accident with an eighteen-wheeler. It wasn't the trauma of what happened to the kids that left me so torn up, but the way the parents acted. I would have rather dealt with crack addicts for the rest of the week than push one more of them back in the midst of their agony.

They had gone from anger to concern to absolute devastation. Most of the kids hadn't made it and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to throw up at least three times when the families got the news. I couldn’t help but pray for the boredom I’d been so flippant about earlier that week.

The pain in the air buckled my sense of resolve to remain strong and unaffected. The wailing screams and heart-felt sobs from the family threw me back to the night Amanda died in my arms. I hadn't experienced anything as horrific since, but the scene in the ER was damn near close.

I wasn't having kids for lots of reasons, but the one I witnessed that day was the main one. If a woman could leave me broken and bare, a child could destroy me completely. There was something good to be said about the fact that Cole and I were abandoned at birth and left to foster care. I was a horrible kid and he wasn't much better. There was no mother's heart to break or father's pride to crush. We rarely ended up anywhere but back at the orphanage. As soon as we were old enough, we moved to the streets and worked hard to make sure we were fed and had a place to lay our heads. Other than that... nothing was important.

My phone buzzed as I walked into the quiet apartment. It wasn't much bigger than a studio, but I was thrilled. It was more than I had ever had before, and it was mine. Just mine.

"What?" I barked into the receiver, not caring who was on the phone. It was after eight at night and I hadn't eaten since breakfast because of another mother fucker calling in and me having to pull a double shift.

"It's me, dude," Cole barked back. "I just got a call from Senator Moore. The meet up is tonight at The Roxy. The girl is going to be with a group of girls no doubt. Mitch said that she's got long blond hair, blue eyes and looks a little bit like him. She's about five foot, five inches and a hundred and thirty pounds."

"Sounds hot," I grumbled and opened the fridge, leaning over and pulling out a beer and a pack of lunchmeat. I was too tired to make a sandwich, but the protein would hold me over until I had the energy to cook something.

Pulling the package open, I rolled the meat and started to eat as fast as I could as my stomach groaned. Cole droned on and I tried to pay attention, but fear of not getting enough to eat threatened to shut me down.

It didn't matter how much better life got. I remembered starving half to death for too long to let the terror of it go.

"Hey. You there?" His tone was less than pleasant and I had to work hard at not snapping his head off.

"Yeah, dude. Fuck. I'm tired and starving." I shoved more into my mouth and popped open a beer, wanting to get off the phone and take a long shower.

"Sorry. Cindy's being a bitch again."

"Drop that hooker, Cole. Come over here until you find a new place. Life is too long to stay with someone that shits on you all the time." I hated to be a dick about his wife, but he had more negative shit to say about the woman than he ever had positive. He needed to move on, but he was too much like me, wanting the type of love that didn’t really exist.

"Yeah, yeah. Tonight's not about me. It's about you. Get your shit together, eat and get up to that club. Be professional and call me later about whether you want the job or not. The Senator's ready to hire you, so it’s really your call."

"Can I just not go and say yes? I don't care what the little piece is like. The money is too good to say no." I ran my fingers down my face and grimaced. The smell of cold cuts was all over my hands and now on my face too. Brilliant.

"No. You can't. Do what I said and let me know your answer after it’s over. This isn’t a normal situation, Ian. You’re not just watching her from afar like we did at the open-air event. You’re staying at the house with her. If she’s too much to handle-"

"All right. I get it. Shit. Thanks for the opportunity." I hung up and tossed the phone on a nearby chair before finishing the meat roll in my free hand and washing it down with the rest of my beer. The loaf of bread beside me looked good and would go great with the meat sitting in my stomach. I took a few pieces and almost swallowed them whole as I walked languidly to the bathroom to wash my face.

A nap would have been great before having to dress up for a night at the club. I used to love to go, my dance skills wicked sick, but I quit after realizing that dancing led to sex and sex led to loving someone. I wasn't interested.

Tonight would be different. A little dancing, a drink and an interview. I hoped the girl had practiced personality questions for our meet up. I was going to drill her good.

"Drill her." I chuckled and shoved the rest of the bread in my mouth before getting into the shower.