Chapter 17

 

The weeks passed, and Dani settled back into a semblance of her routine. She wasn't teaching this term, and there were only a few weeks left before the semester ended, so she filled her days with research. She stayed at home for as long as she could but eventually had to return to campus and to her cramped office. With the door closed tight she sat behind her desk, throwing herself into her work.

Whenever thoughts of a certain handsome ranger would besiege her, she pinched herself to provide negative reinforcement. While Skinner's behaviorism was no longer a popular theory, she found the pinches helped her re-focus her mind. The downside was the endless parade of little bruises up and down her slender arms.

She made sure to wear long sleeves.

Every couple of days Dean Fischer would hunt her down. If he knocked on her office door, she would ignore it, pretending to be out. If he caught her in the halls, she always found a way to avoid him, either by ducking into the ladies room or hiding out in the graduate student offices, where a dean would never think to venture.

When she couldn't avoid him fast enough, and he engaged her in conversation, she would become pale and tell him she needed to go lie down and regain her strength after her ordeal in the forest. She could tell it annoyed him, but there was no way to confront her about it and still seem the concerned gentleman.

The days stretched on that way until the end of finals week. The halls gradually emptied, and faces were becoming scarce. Dani flirted with the idea of going home to Texas for the holidays. It would be nice to visit with her parents, to enjoy the warmer climate.

But she didn't think she could face her parents now, not after all that had happened. One look at her and they'd ask questions she didn't want to answer. Instead, she packed up her research and went home to her apartment.

Dani didn't feel much like celebrating, so she ignored the countless Christmas tree stands and endless lines at the mall. Instead she became a hermit, concealed in her own bubble of solitude and sadness.

The sole interruption came in the form of an unexpected golden envelope that arrived with the usual junk mail, Christmas cards, sales circulars, and bills. The envelope had no return address, and it was embossed with impressive raised print. She wasted no time opening it and was surprised to find an invitation to a holiday party at Brice Masterson's estate. It was so startling she called Janna to get her opinion.

"You got an invite to the Masterson Mansion?" Janna's tone was reverent. "Praise the baby Jesus!"

Dani laughed. "I guess it's a good thing then?"

"A good thing? It's like Super Bowl tickets to your Texan uncles! You gotta go, Dani! Are you allowed a plus one? Please say you are!"
"Why?" Dani teased, "Have you got anyone in mind?"

"Bitch!" Janna yelled. "You better take me! This means we need to hit the stores right away and find something to wear. I bet its black tie. Is it black tie?"

Dani searched the accompanying golden card. "Doesn't say. So you think I should go?"
"I think we should go," Janna corrected her. "This is just the thing you need. If swilling champagne at a millionaire's house doesn't put you in the holiday spirit, I don't know what will!"

"I'm not sure," Dani said, her voice dropping. "What if he is there?"
"Who? Brice Masterson? I hope he is; he's a handsome devil. Besides, he's throwing the party, so he better be there!"

"No, Caleb. The forest ranger. What if he's there?"

"Then you'll ignore him just like he's been ignoring you."

"I don't know if I could stand to see him again."

"Come on, Dani!" Janna whined. "Do it for me. This might be the only chance I ever get to rub elbows with the rich and powerful. You can consider it my Christmas present!"

"Fine!" Dani said, caving.

"Woo hoo!" Her friend's shout was so loud, Dani had to hold the phone away from her ear. "I'll pick you up tomorrow, and we'll hit the mall for the perfect outfit. Then if you do see your ranger, you'll look so good he'll eat his heart out."

 

* * * * *

 

Dani almost ran back to her car when her friend Janna led her up the walkway to the huge house on the hill. If the valet hadn't taken her keys, she probably would have. "Come on," Janna said with a gentle tug. "Will you just look at this place? It's gorgeous!"
Dani was forced to agree. Not only was the house sprawling and stately, but the grounds were decorated for the season. All around them lights twinkled in the trees and bushes. There were tasteful reindeer and snowmen made of light, and several blinking stars hung from wires that had been strung between the trees.

If only it had snowed, then this place would have been transformed into a perfect winter wonderland. She was glad it hadn't snowed, though, because she never would have made it to the door in her four-inch heels if the walkway were icy.

They entered through the large double doors, and Dani handed her invitation to the doorman. He took their coats from them and motioned towards the party.

Dani could hear festive music playing, as well as the rising and falling tones of conversation. With a deep breath, she grabbed Janna's hand and walked forward. She told herself she was just taking her hand because she was unaccustomed to parading around in high heels, but she knew it was for moral support as well.

The ladies made their way into a stunning great room that was decorated for the occasion. Twin fires burned in huge hearths that stood on either side of the large room. There were several trees, each decorated in tasteful lights and bulbs. Enormous red ribbons were tied around the columns that supported the weight of the cathedral ceiling.

Everywhere people were talking and drinking from champagne flutes, taking small hors d’oeuvres from waiters in red jackets and elf hats who were circulating among the guests. The attendees were all well-heeled and well dressed. Dani fidgeted in her own outfit, hoping that she didn't stand out like a sore thumb.

Janna had insisted she buy the dress she was wearing, but she was having second thoughts. It was a flaming red Grecian style dress, with a halter that came up to a reasonable level, but which hugged her cleavage, especially on the sides, where it hinted at her barely hidden assets. Then it fell to her knees, but the waist and under the bust as well as the neckline was wrapped in a thin, dark green ribbon. It was the back; however, that exposed her pale skin almost all the way down to her bottom. Only the ribbon crossed the expanse of her smooth back.

From her ears hung two tiny green ornament balls inch-long chains. Her dark hair was pulled up in an elegant chignon; her bangs swooped to the side. She had allowed Janna free reign on the makeup as well, and so she was now sporting a smoky eye and ruby-red lips. It was a daring look, and she hoped she was pulling it off.

Her friend had also pulled out all the stops, excited at the prospect of mingling with the Pacific Northwest's elite. But now she looked exceedingly nervous in her white gown with a plunging neckline, a simple silver necklace with matching bracelet, and long drop earrings.

Dani was amused by Janna's opinions on her surroundings. She had expected her to be a bit star struck by the people whose elbows she had insisted upon rubbing, but instead, she seemed annoyed. "Would you just get a load of this place! Who in the world needs all this space? It's just selfish!"

Dani almost spits out the sip of champagne she'd just taken when she realized her host had approached during Janna's diatribe. Her friend didn't seem to notice the millionaire standing politely at her elbow, and she continued her rant undeterred.

"I mean, he's incredibly handsome, but I'm sure he's like any other trust fund kid. Self-absorbed. Entitled. Obsessed with owning things, and people."

Dani coughed, choking on the champagne. Her eyes darted to Brice's face, but she was amazed to see what appeared to be a genuine smile on his face. "Dr. French," he interrupted, "I'm so glad to see you've made it. Please, introduce me to your delightful friend."
The blood drained entirely away from Janna's face when she realized he'd heard every word she'd said. She stood frozen, a pale ghost, as Dani introduced her.

Masterson took her limp hand and bent over it, pressing his lips to the back of her delicate hand and murmuring, "Enchanted."

Dani knew her friend was mortified, and immediately stepped in to rescue her.

"Brice, let's continue this conversation later. Right now I need the ladies room, and you know women must go in pairs. It's tradition." She laughed nervously and took Janna's hand from Brice's larger one. With a backward smile, Dani tugged her friend away from the charming millionaire who just shook his head and laughed.

"Oh. My. God." Janna looked like she was hyperventilating. "I can't believe that happened. Why couldn't I have just melted into the floor? Leave it to me to make a total idiot of myself in front of the host. He's so handsome, too. Much better looking in person. Oh holy baby Jesus, did that just happen?"

Dani laughed and attempted to calm her friend down. She found a quiet sitting room down the hall from the great room and settled Janna in a wingback chair.

"Just breathe," she said. "I've got to hand it to you, you sure know how to get a guy's attention."

Janna gave her a sick look, her chest heaving so much Dani feared her breasts might fall out of her dress.

"Relax!" she ordered the redhead. "Just sit here. I'm going to get you a drink."

Janna nodded and focused on her breathing. Dani could hear her quietly berating herself as she made her way back to the party. Weaving through the crowd, she headed to the bar. Although there were several glasses of champagne sitting on trays waiting to be served, Dani asked the bartender for a shot of Kentucky bourbon.

"You've sure got a thing for whiskeys," a familiar voice said from behind her.

Dani froze, her hand shaking so hard she was afraid she might spill the drink. She could feel his warm breath on her bare shoulder.

She closed her eyes for a moment, wanting nothing more than to sink backwards into his embrace. Instead, she straightened her spine and turned, confronting the man who'd broken her heart.

 

* * * * *

 

From the moment he arrived he'd sensed her. He knew she was here somewhere, among the crowd of society people. Caleb cursed himself for accepting Brice's invitation.

In the back of his mind, he'd known she might be here, but he had finally been willing to take the risk. For the first time in his life, he was tired of being alone. He was tired of watching the tides go in and out at Masterson's beach house, tired of wasting the hours of the day thinking about her, of spending each night encircled by her scent, dreaming of her.

He thought that just once it would be nice to be surrounded by people, to spend time with the only friend he still had. And now his hopes had turned to fear.

He should leave right away, slip out, head back to the beach house. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. Not since he'd spotted her across the room, smiling up at her host. He had to talk to her, he had to see her again, just once.

And now she was staring up at him, her dark eyes full of heartache, and he couldn't think of anything to say. So he said, "Hi."

She raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by his greeting. "Hello."

She looked amazing. Her sophisticated appearance prompted an almost painful hunger in his gut. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to press his lips against hers, to nuzzle her neck and run his tongue around the shell of her ear.

He did none of these things.

"It's good to see you," he said.

"I wish I could say the same," she replied, her anger evident. "Excuse me." She pushed past him and made her way through the crowd.

Caleb frowned. He should just walk away. He'd seen her, and she wanted nothing to do with him. Instead, he followed her, grabbing her arm and pulling her around.

"I'm sorry," he said, knowing that the words weren't enough. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"No," she said, pulling away from him. "It's too late for that." She turned again and hurried off across the room and down the hall, away from him.

Caleb sighed. It was done. Wasn't that what he wanted? The break wasn't clean, but it was beginning to heal over. So why did he want to pick the scab off so badly?

 

* * * * *

 

Dani returned to the sitting room and was surprised to find that Janna wasn't alone. She sat in the chair, drinking slowly from a glass of water, while Brice Masterson knelt by her side.

Her friend was still pale, and Dani wondered how embarrassed she was. Janna had the unique ability to shove her foot in her mouth at a remarkable rate. She hurried over to check on her.

"I brought you a drink, but it looks like someone beat me to it," Dani said, causing Brice to turn around and give her a smile. He rose then arranged his dark suit.

"Your friend seemed to be having an attack of some kind, and I was trying to make her feel at ease."

"I'm not quite sure that it's working," Dani whispered to him, and he laughed and gave her a delighted wink.

"Yes, well, I guess my charm doesn't affect everyone. Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I've got to talk to the musicians before the dancing begins."

He headed back towards the hallway but stopped before leaving the sitting room. "And ladies, make sure you each save me a dance. I wouldn’t be a proper host if I didn't dance with the two most beautiful women at my party." With an easy smile, he was gone.

"Sheesh!" Janna said, exhaling noisily. "I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

"A sexy truck," Dani replied with a giggle.

Janna made a face at her friend. "There's no denying that. Still, I can't believe you didn't signal me that he was standing right beside me. I think he considers me some kind of challenge now. You know how these robber-barons love a challenge."

"I don't think he's exactly a robber-baron, Janna," Dani said with mock exasperation. "He is the host, you know. Maybe he was just being polite."

"Let's hope that's all it is."

"Hey, this party isn't exactly turning out the way I planned either," Dani said with a small frown.

"What? He's here, the ranger?"

Dani gave her friend a short nod.

Janna sighed. "Well, I asked for it, did I? Still, why should we waste all this good food and excellent booze?"

She took the bourbon from Dani's hand and drained the glass, then gave a small hiccup.

"Let's hit the bar, knock a couple back, and see if we can't find some kind of appetizer wrapped in bacon. Bacon will make everything all better. And if we see your ranger, or Masterson, we'll just ignore them."

With that, Janna slid her arm through her friend's and led her out of the sitting room and back down the hall towards the rest of the guests.

 

* * * * *

Caleb wondered how much longer he could take the agony. He stood near one of the hearths that blazed with a pleasantly-scented fire, but the heat didn't penetrate his cold exterior. His eyes were like a magnet, drawn to the most precious of metals.

Across the room, she laughed with her friend as she took another swallow of dark liquor. The women seemed oblivious to the party around them, drinking and chatting and sampling little morsels attached to toothpicks that they occasionally grabbed from passing trays.

He wanted so badly to cross the crowded room and pull her away from the bar, away from her friend and into his arms, his hands shook.

But she didn't want that, she'd told him in no uncertain terms. So he lingered here, watching her, wanting desperately to leave but not having the strength. Not when he had a chance to see her. Even if he couldn't talk to her, couldn't hold her. Right now watching her was enough.

Caleb's attention was momentarily pulled away from the woman who haunted his dreams and drawn to an interior landing that hung over a portion of the great room. A band was stationed there, and it seemed they were about to begin the evening's entertainment.

They launched into a rousing rendition of Jingle Bell Rock and the wide area of the room that had been cleared to serve as a dance floor started to fill. Soon couples were sliding across the makeshift dance floor, moving their bodies in time with the upbeat tempo.

Caleb scowled, annoyed. The only way this evening could get worse was to have to watch the little professor twirl around in the arms of another man.

Just as he suspected, his fears were almost immediately realized. A tall, boyishly handsome man with spiky blond hair was leading Dani out on the dance floor. Her face was flushed, a smile plastered across her features.

Caleb wondered how many drinks she'd had. Since she'd returned to the room, her hand had never once lacked for a glass. His mind returned to that night in the hunting shack and their inebriated revelations. What if she spent her drunken night in another man's arms, baring her soul and her body for his pleasure?

The thought made him grind his teeth together.

The song ended and was followed by a slower tune, White Christmas. Couples drew closer to one another, and the vein in Caleb's head started to throb. Then the ranger noticed someone he hadn't expected to see in this crowd, and that someone was headed straight for the professor. He leaned back against the stone fireplace and crossed his arms, very interested in what might happen next.

 

* * * * *

 

Dani's head was starting to spin as she gyrated next to the handsome young man who'd asked her to dance. 'Young' being the operative word, she thought as her glazed eyes skimmed his cute features and spiky hair.

She knew that she had drunk too much and eaten too little, but Dani hasn't realized how quickly the booze had gotten to her. It was all she could do to keep up with the young man, and she was relieved when the next song slowed things down.

The blond smiled down at her and pulled her closer. Although he wasn't exactly her type, right now she didn't mind being held in the arms of a handsome stranger, since the arms she really wanted to hold her were the ones she couldn't allow to.

Suddenly the arms around her pulled back, and Dani looked over the man's shoulder in confusion. She was greeted by the face she'd spent the last few weeks avoiding all over campus.

"May I cut in?" his nasal voice asked, "We're close friends, you see."

The blond man bowed out, and Dani was left in the hands of Dean Fischer. Could tonight get any worse? she asked herself. What was the opposite of a Christmas miracle? A Christmas tragedy? That's what tonight's party was.

"Dean Fischer," she said, her tone cold, "I didn't expect to see you here."

The dean smiled his oily smile. "Jeffrey, please. And why wouldn't you expect to see me at the social event of the season?"

Dani almost rolled her eyes and barely restrained herself. The liquor in her blood made her want to come back with some sharp retort, but she held herself back. If she could just make it through this dance, she could go back to the bar and just ignore all men from now on. They were too much trouble. "I didn't know that you were acquainted with Brice Masterson."

"Sure," Jeffrey answered casually. "Now I'm glad I came since it means I get to see you in that incredible dress." She felt his grip tighten around her waist as he pulled her closer. "You smell fantastic," he said as he bent down to nuzzle her neck.

Dani pulled back, and a look of disappointment crossed the dean's studied features. "Shy, all of a sudden?" he asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You certainly weren't shy that night we spent together."

Dani barked out a harsh laugh. "And how do you know?" she said, unable to hold back her anger anymore. "You were passed out."

"But I sure woke up happy."

Dani frowned and stopped dancing. "What is it?" he asked with a worried frown.

"We need to talk. Now."

"Okay," he said, his expression puzzled. "I assume you'd like to go somewhere more private than the dance floor?"

When she nodded, he smiled, obviously misinterpreting her request. He took her hand and led her across the floor and towards the door to the wide balcony outside. Stepping out, he propelled her with a hand on the small of her bare back, across to the railing that looked out over the wide expanse of decorated lawn.

He didn't release her hand but instead pulled it in close to his chest, wrapping both his hands around hers. "What is it, sweetheart?" he asked. The term of endearment made her want to puke.

"Dean Fischer -- Jeffrey -- I think you've got the wrong impression about what happened that night."

"Really?" He pulled her hand up to gently kiss it, his brows rising in confusion. "And what, pray tell, did happen?"

"Nothing. You passed out."

Jeffrey chuckled. "If you insist."

"I'm serious. You passed out. We did not have sex. Not even close." Dani didn't like the look that came into his eyes at her revelation.

"Then how do you explain my state of undress the morning after? And I distinctly remember a game of strip poker..."

"We did play poker, yes, but you passed out before the game had run its course. And I undressed you, to uh...make you more comfortable." Dani's face belied her deception, as did the slight uptick in her tone.

Jeffrey stared down at her, his disbelief evident. She couldn't convince him with the lie, so she tried the truth. "All right, I took off your pants so you would think that something happened. I figured if you thought that, you might leave me alone."

The dean's face could have been carved from stone. His look was furious. "You conniving little bitch," he whispered furiously. "What in the hell did you think you were doing? Ensuring your tenure?"

"How dare you talk to me like that!"

Dani yanked her hand out of his grip and took a step backwards. "What was I supposed to do? You had me trapped, and you didn't want to take no for an answer. What choice did I have?"
"And now you're trying to blame me, to cover your own grasping ambition?"

"What?" Dani's anger almost overwhelmed her, and she had to dig her nails into the palms of her hands to stop from hitting him. "You're the one who--"
Jeffrey interrupted her, grabbing her by the shoulders, his grip biting into her flesh. "What advantages did you think sleeping with the dean would bring you? Faster promotions? A lighter course load? You had no compunctions against using me, against using your body to further your career."

His fury was surprising in its fierceness. He squeezed her, shaking her to accentuate his words.

"You wanted to use me!" Dani said, cringing when his grip tightened. "You're the one who's been pestering me to go out to lunch, out to dinner, to spend the night in a hotel room with you! You kept hinting that your positive evaluation of my professional performance hinged on my acceptance of your advances."

Another squeeze. Dani's breath hitched. "Let go of me! You're hurting me!"

"You heard the woman."

Dani almost melted when she recognized Caleb's voice. "Let her go. Now."

Jeffrey turned a cruel snarl on his lips. "Stay out of this, Ranger."

In the blink of an eye, Caleb pulled Dani behind him and out of the dean's hands. The ranger stared down at the smaller man, his posture rigid.

Dani was frightened, suddenly. She knew what he was capable of. And Jeffrey didn't.

"Jeffrey," she said softly, moving around the ranger's bulk to face him again. "Let's just take a deep breath for a moment. It's apparent we have a few things to get straight, but perhaps this party isn't the correct environment for such an important discussion."

Dani marveled that she was able to use such elevated language without wrapping her tongue in knots. She still felt the liquor distorting her perception, but the seriousness of the situation was quickly pushing her towards sobriety.

Dean Fischer sneered at her. "You insolent little slut! Don't want him to know how willing you are to seduce your way to a better position? And why is that? Are you screwing him too?"

Dani held her arms out to either side and stood firm when she felt Caleb about to rush forward behind her. She realized that Jeffrey wasn't going to back down. His words would force Caleb to take action. And once that got started, Dani knew she wouldn't be able to stop him. He wouldn't be able to stop himself.

She had to act.

"What's the matter?" the dean asked her, his tone mocking. "Is your boyfriend the jealous type? Or the boy scout who can't wait to come to the distressed damsel's rescue?"

Dean Fischer had just reached his limit, or her limit, she supposed. "I can rescue myself," she said with quiet intensity, and then she punched him.

Her fist connected with his nose and it immediately began to bleed.

"Owww!" Jeffrey screamed, his hands covering his nose.

"Get out of here," she snarled at him, giving him a shove towards the door. "And maybe now you get the picture. I don't like you. I'll never like you. And I have never, and will never, sleep with you."

Dean Fischer rushed out the door to find a cloth to staunch the bleeding, leaving Dani and Caleb alone on the balcony. She stared out into the distance, breathing deeply, trying to let go of her anger.

The wind had picked up, making the stars that hung between the trees sway heavily in the night sky. Dani felt empty, worn out. Exhausted. She didn't even want to begin thinking about the repercussions of that last encounter. It wouldn't be pretty. She rubbed her hands along her arms to bring them some warmth.

She felt the ranger move behind her, and soon she was draped in his suit jacket. Her skin absorbed his residual heat as she inhaled, pulling in his special scent.

"Thanks," she mumbled, not turning around. Although she'd just confronted her boss about his harassment, that confrontation seemed a hundred times easier than a talk with Caleb did now.

He just stood there, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. She could feel him breathing behind her, his warm breath stirring the small hairs on her neck. She wanted so badly to lean back into his warmth, to rest against his gentle strength.

But in his own way, he was just as deceptive as the dean. What was he doing here? Why was he touching her now, when for weeks she'd done nothing but long for his touch and been denied.

Dani turned, her eyes blazing with misery and frustration. "What do you want, Caleb? Why are you here?"

"I saw you come out here with Fischer and I figured you might need a little help." He spoke softly, not meeting her eyes but instead staring over the expanse of dark lawn.

"I don't need you to protect me," she snarled. "A man's in a coma because of your misguided attempts at protection."

She saw the hurt in his eyes at her words, but she couldn't stop them from spilling out of her. "Besides, how can you protect me when you don't even see me for weeks? When you don't call, don't visit? I could have been killed a hundred times over, and you'd never know."
"Shh," he whispered, raising a hand to cup her cheek and sliding a thumb across it. "Calm down, Dani."
"Calm down?" she shouted, his words pushing her to a new level of rage. "Stop trying to control my emotions! First, you want me to want you, and we make love, then you push me away. In the caves, you tell those men that you love me, but then you avoid me. Now, this. Do you want me to love you or hate you? Right now, I just want to beat the shit out of you!"
Dani couldn't restrain herself. She pummeled him with her fists, and he stood there, taking it. She was becoming hysterical, she knew that, but she didn't care. Tears spilled down her cheeks, mixing with the light rain that was starting to fall.

She continued to beat at his immovable chest, and he put his arms on her shoulders loosely, allowing her to exhaust herself against him without saying a word. Finally, she dropped her fists and took several deep breaths. This was going nowhere quick.

All of a sudden she didn't want to fight anymore. Her anger left her in a rush, leaving behind only resignation. She realized abruptly that it had begun raining, misting really, and tiny droplets were falling all around him. Dani looked up into the ranger's face. The droplets landed on his long eyelashes, his hair, the stubble on his chin.

"Take me home," she said softly and thrilled at the surprised joy she saw in his eyes.