I woke up on Saturday morning and sat up in bed, listening carefully for movement in the apartment. When I didn’t hear anything, I slipped out of bed and walked quietly down the passage, peeking into the guest bedroom. Maya lay on her side, still asleep.
It was the first time since I had moved in to this place that someone was set up in my guest room. Getting a two-bedroom place had sounded like a good idea at the time, but I’d only been fooling myself. I’d been alone before and alone ever since.
It was good to see someone in it now.
Maya had stayed in the guest room. I hadn’t pushed for her to sleep with me, and we sure as hell didn’t have sex. Not after everything she had gone through last night. She was traumatized to say the least.
I thought about her room, trashed the way it was, how shocked she had been, and I was immediately angry all over again. It pissed me off to know that someone was making life hell for her. Maya deserved only the best, and it didn’t sound like he had her best interest at heart at all. In fact, it sounded like a selfish son of a bitch.
I was glad Maya was here with me so I could look out for her. I had made a terrible mistake ending it with her so many years ago, but I wouldn’t make that same mistake again. I would be there for her when she needed me.
Now that I was up, I wouldn’t go back to sleep again, so I padded into the kitchen on bare feet. I took eggs and milk out of the fridge, popped bread into the toaster and put on the kettle for tea. I wanted to make her breakfast in bed to help her feel better.
I didn’t usually cook. Being a bachelor living on my own, I usually picked up take out on my way home or had pub food when I was out drinking. I would have liked to add more to her eggs, but I had nothing else in the kitchen. Eggs had a longer shelf life than most other things. I had to get to the store and buy a few things, I told myself. If I had a couple of fresh ingredients on hand, I could make her an omelet instead of plain scrambled eggs. I should buy bacon as well.
When the toast was ready, I stacked it on a small plate and tipped the scrambled egg out into bowls. I turned the stove down when the kettle boiled and poured tea into two cups. I nodded, satisfied with my handiwork. It wasn’t exactly breakfast fit for a queen, but it would do for today.
When I picked up the tray, my phone rang. I sat the tray down again and answered.
“Kyle,” Jacob said. “I was hoping I would catch you up.”
If he thought I would still be sleeping, why did he call so early? Maybe he was fishing for something to say. The days when Jacob and I never ran out of topics were long gone.
“Yeah, you have good timing,” I answered. What else could I say?
“Good, good. I was wondering, would you like to come to practice again on Monday?”
God, were we back to this? I had thought the dinner on Thursday with Jacob and Kina would have been enough to keep them off my case for a while. They were truly pushing to make me a part of the family again. Couldn’t they catch a hint? I wasn’t interested.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. I knew, in fact, that it was a bad idea.
“Why?” Jacob asked.
I rolled my eyes and mouthed silent cuss words. He was never going to stop trying, was he? When we had been close buddies, joined at the hip, his constant effort had been endearing. Now it was a fucking pain in my ass.
“I can’t keep missing work, Jacob.” I was starting to get irritated, which translated into my voice. “I have a lot going on in my life, too. I appreciate the invite, and when I have a chance, I might swing by.” That was a blatant lie. “But right now I’m not going to make it.”
Jacob sighed. “Yeah, I guess.” I wasn’t sure what he was responding to, but if it was my empty promise, I had the feeling he knew I was lying, too. “Just know you’re always welcome. I enjoyed having you there last week.”
He was probably just saying that. Why he was trying to make me feel better was beyond me. I had given up on our friendship, why couldn’t he do that, too?
“I have to get going,” Jacob said when I didn’t respond. “I have training in about two hours.”
Of course he did. Being a pro player meant that football ruled his life. It would have ruled mine, too.
“All right, have fun,” I said, and it sounded more sarcastic than I had meant it to. There was no way I could take it back now though, and I sure as shit wasn’t apologizing. Oh well.
“Right.” Jacob ended the call, and I stood in the kitchen feeling like a dick. I was angry with Jacob for putting me on the spot. I didn’t want to be rude to the guy; I only wanted him to leave me alone. I sighed and put the wireless receiver back in the cradle. I turned on the answering machine so if anyone called, it would take messages for me. I doubted that he or Kina would try to phone me again today, but if they did I wanted the answering machine to pick up the call.
“Is everything all right?” Maya asked me. I spun around. She looked like a vision, standing there in my kitchen. She wore short pajama shorts with little sheep on them and a matching top with a cartoon sheep that said the words, “B-A-A-A-D HAIR DAY” beneath it. But Maya was having anything but a bad hair day. Her brown hair was tousled from sleep, but it framed her delicate features, only making them more striking.
I realized I was staring and nodded too fast. “Yeah, everything is okay. That was Jacob.” I had no idea why I had shared that unnecessary information. I was sure Maya didn’t care who I had been talking to. “Did I wake you?”
Maya shook her head. “I woke up just before your phone rang.” She climbed onto one of the barstools at the counter in my kitchen and leaned her elbows on the countertop. “You sounded tense.”
I shrugged. I wished she hadn’t heard that. I hated having to explain my feelings, why I felt the way I felt.
“Jacob wants me to join him at another practice on Monday,” I said.
“And you don’t want to go?”
Was she asking because she knew something? I shook off the thoughts. I was being ridiculous.
“I have work. Football is Jacob’s life and practice times vary, but I’m in the nine-to-five world and can’t always take time off. Some of us have to work for a living.”
Maya looked at me with a carefully expressionless face, and I realized how upset I sounded.
“I’m sure he understands,” Maya said. The empathy, keeping the peace— this had always been Maya’s strong suit.
“I’m not so sure,” I said. But Maya and I weren’t talking about the same thing. Jacob would understand that I couldn’t always take off from work, but he didn’t understand how horrible this was for me, how upset I still was that he was living the life I had always dreamed of. I didn’t want to explain it to anyone, either. No one would understand, and I would end up looking like a pathetic piece of shit.
“I made breakfast,” I said, changing the topic. I gestured to the tray. “It might have gotten cold, though.”
Maya’s face broke into a smile, and it lit up her features like a sunrise. “I didn’t know you could cook,” she said.
“I didn’t, either,” I said, and we both laughed.
In college, my diet consisted of take-out and Ramen. Maya and Sara had always made an effort to cook healthy food. Maya had always been serious about what she put into her body. I had trained hard enough on the field back then and was young enough that diet didn’t make much difference.
I made two new cups of tea.
“This is really nice, Kyle,” Maya said when we were sitting together, eating. “I’ve missed this.”
I had missed it, too. The two years we had been together, even though we hadn’t been roommates and had both been studying a lot, we had been attached to each other. We had made a point of doing couple-things. When I had broken it off with her because my whole world had fallen apart, I hadn’t realized how much Maya had been a part of my foundation until after it was too late.
“I’ve missed you,” she added.
I reached across the counter and took her hand, squeezing it. Being with her again after so long was confusing. In some ways, we hardly knew each other anymore and had to start over again. In others, it felt like no time had passed at all, and we could pick up right where we left off.
I struggled to find a balance between the two. But whatever we were now, however long it would take for us to reach the space we had been in before, I wanted to go the full mile with her. She was still the same woman I had fallen in love with back then and the woman I could fall hopelessly in love with now.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, steering away from the spiral of my own thoughts. “Last night was tough.”
Maya nodded. “It was. I don’t know how I feel. A part of me is traumatized. Tyler took a new step last night, and suddenly I feel like I have no idea what he’s capable of. Another part of me is pissed off at him. I want this to be over now.”
I nodded. “That’s understandable. Having someone make your life a living hell isn’t easy. He’s completely uprooted you. How do you want to move forward with this?”
Maya pulled up her shoulders. “I’ll phone Sara and find out if she heard any more from the police. I don’t know what I might have missed last night; I was kind of freaked out over the whole thing. I don’t know if they’ll be able to do anything to help me, though. They’ve been pretty uninterested so far, but he had never done anything this bold. I guess I’m worried Tyler will find more ways to torment me.”
“I won’t let him hurt you,” I said. Anger flared up in my chest again. If that little bottom feeder came close to Maya again, it would be the last thing he did.
Maya smiled. “Thank you, Kyle. I really appreciate you letting me stay here and looking after me. I was wondering...” her voice trailed off.
“Yes?”
“I’m scared he’ll keep calling me a liar, but if I can keep faking it, maybe he’ll leave me alone for long enough to bring an end to this.”
I frowned. “Are you saying you want to keep faking being engaged?”
Maya nodded, looking at me warily. “I was hoping you would play the role of my fake fiancé. There’s no obligation, of course, and if you don’t want to, I’ll understand,” she added hastily. “I just thought if we could keep up appearances for a while it might make a difference.” She looked nervous about what my answer would be.
Would I want to play the part of Maya’s fiancé? Hell yeah. Before, even the thought of such a huge responsibility— even a fake one— would have scared me. But now, I wanted to do anything it took to win her back and keep her in my life for good. I grinned.
“Of course, I will. If it means this guy will leave you alone, I’ll do anything. Besides, that means I’ll get to spend more time with you.”
Maya smiled, relieved. “Thank you so much.”
She threw her arms around my neck, hugging me. I closed my arms around her body and held onto her. Having her close to me was the only thing in my life worth having.
I pulled away from her, putting my hand on her cheek and kissed her. I kissed her so deeply that she forgot whose air she was breathing. When we finally broke the kiss, Maya’s eyes were glazed over, her lips parted.
“What was that for?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Just practicing,” I said and gave her a cocky grin.