Training with the squad was hard today. I felt stiff after the wine I’d had last night, not to mention the sex, and I was distracted. I couldn’t get my mind off Kyle.
But I worked hard, pushing myself to my limits. I wanted to do the team proud, and I wanted to prove that it was worth it to have me around.
“Are you okay?” Samantha asked when we took a water break, and I lay down on the grass, breathing hard.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m just having a low-energy day.”
“Did you drink?” she asked. Dammit, she knew how it worked.
“Three glasses,” I admitted.
She chuckled. “It’s not a crime, but it’s easier on you physically if you don’t go there,” she said. I was starting to see that. She walked away, her ponytail swinging back and forth. I hoisted myself up from the grass and threw myself into training, determined to work passed the alcohol in my system, and push aside the distracting images of Kyle, naked and beneath me on the bed.
When training was over, I took out my phone. I had five messages. I frowned— five was a lot of messages all at once. I unlocked my phone. They were all from Tyler. My heart sank.
Why did you change your number again? That’s got be a lot of work for you.
Changing your number isn’t going to help. I can find it again.
Come on, Maya. Throw me a bone. I just want to talk, catch up. It’s not that bad, is it? I’m not that bad.
If you keep changing your number, I’m going to have to start looking for other ways to remind you that I care about you.
You’re probably busy with cheerleading practice, so you’re not replying. Just remember you’re on my mind.
My stomach turned to stone. They were all creepy, but some of them were more threatening than others. The last two bothered me. He knew I was training tonight. What else did he know? Where I lived? Where I trained? And what other ways to show me that he cares about me?
I was suddenly angry. Our date had been almost two years ago. It hadn’t been spectacular as far as dates go. I hadn’t been rude to him; I’d been polite about not wanting to see him again. How the hell had it come to this? I was sick and tired of this son of a bitch making life hard for me.
I didn’t engage in locker room small talk. Instead, I got in my car as quickly as I could and headed home. Traffic was a nightmare, which only escalated my bad mood. When I finally got home, my mood was blacker than black.
“What’s up with you?” Sara asked when I blew into the house like a storm.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Tyler got your number,” she said, sitting up on the couch where she had been watching TV. Sara knew me better than anyone.
“How the hell does he do it every time? And so fast. It’s not like I post it on social media or anything. I’m so over this shit.”
I plopped down on the couch next to Sara, my arms folded. I pouted like a child. I was allowed to. This was getting old.
“So, tell him you’re not available anymore,” Sara said.
“What do you mean?”
“Tell him you’re with someone. That you’re engaged— then it’s forever, and he can’t get around that.”
“But I’d be lying.”
Sara rolled her eyes. “So? He’s making a nuisance of himself. I’m sick of him, too. Tell him you’re engaged so he’ll leave you alone once and for all.”
I thought about it. It sounded like a solution that might work. I had to do something. Going to see the police hadn’t helped, and he wasn’t stopping no matter what I did.
“You know, I think that might just work,” I said. “I’ll do it. Right now.”
“Right now?”
I showed Sara the messages. She pulled up her eyebrows, making the judgmental face she was so good at.
“Right now sounds perfect,” she said.
I took a deep breath and dialed Tyler’s number. I hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. I’d received messages from him, voicemails from him, but we hadn’t had a conversation since a few months after our first date.
“I was hoping you would call,” Tyler said when he answered his phone. Creepy much?
“Tyler, this has to stop,” I said. “You’re taking this way too far.” Maybe if I reasoned with him he would let it go.
“Don’t be like this. You know I’m not going to give up on you.”
I sighed. This was what it had come to: I had to lie to him to get him to stay away from me.
“Well, you don’t have a choice anymore.”
“What do you mean?” he asked with a chuckle, as if I was telling a joke.
“I’m engaged, Tyler. To be married.”
He hesitated. The silence was heavy. I had no idea what reaction to expect.
“Are you serious?” he asked after a moment of silence.
“Dead serious. So, I’m asking you to respect my relationship and leave me alone.”
He was quiet again for a moment, so long that I considered hanging up.
“You’re lying,” he finally said. My stomach twisted.
“Who are you to tell me I’m lying?”
“Because you have put anything about this so-called relationship on any social media. You forget that I know you, Maya.”
I shook my head. I was getting angry again.
“First of all, you don’t know shit about me. And I’m not lying. I’ve stopped posting anything that matters in my life so you can’t invade my privacy.”
“That hurts,” Tyler said.
“Good,” I said without thinking about it. “I need to you to snap out of this stupid crush. I’m never going to be with you. I’m happy. So drop this, okay?”
“I’m going to show you what happens when you lie to me,” Tyler said, and his voice was low and slow. Creepy as fuck.
I hung up. I didn’t want to hear any more of it. He was scaring me.
“Nicely done,” Sara said, who’d heard the whole conversation. “Hashtag girl power.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if it worked. He threatened me again. He said he’ll show me what happens when I lie to him.”
Sara shook her head. “He’s psychotic. Ignore him. You’re happy now, right?”
I sat down on the couch again with a sigh. “Not really. It was just a lie, remember?”
Sara grinned. “Oh, I know you lied to Tyler. But I also know you’re happy. You wouldn’t have spent the night at Kyle’s house if you didn’t like him.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Thinking about him made everything better, and I felt my bad mood dissipate.
“He really is a great guy,” I said. “I’ve missed him. I didn’t realize how much until last night. I used to be so mad at him for saying we should go our separate ways. But now I see that maybe we both just needed time to grow. To make sure we were right for each other. I know I could be jumping the gun, but I feel like last night meant we were made to be.”
Sara nodded. “See? Happiness. Time to spill the details. Tell me about him, about what happened and why you’re on cloud nine.”
I couldn’t help it. Once Sara got me going there was no stopping me. I told her everything, from what he’d said his life was like now, to what the restaurant looked like, the meal we had and how it was at his apartment afterward.
“It was like no time had passed at all. We fell right back into how it used to be.”
“I’m so glad you finally got your cherry popped!” Sara squealed.
I knew she’d be happy about that part. She’d been telling me to get rid of my v-card for a long time, but I’d never felt the urgency. Now, I was glad I had saved it for Kyle. It had felt like the completely right time.
“I’m really so happy for you,” Sara said, and I knew she meant it. She’d known how serious I had been about him when we’d dated, how it had ripped me apart when we’d broken up. She had been there, helping me pick up the pieces.
“It’s just…you’re sure he’s not going to hurt you again?” Sara asked when I finished.
I hesitated. I wasn’t sure of that at all. I wanted to trust Kyle. I wanted to believe that he had changed. When he had broken up with me, he’d said he needed to find himself. I wanted to believe he had done that.
“I’m taking it slow,” I said to Sara.
Sara nodded slowly. “I’m not so sure you’re able to take it slow. I know you still care for the guy; you were madly in love with him. And now, you gave him your v-card. I know I’d been bugging you to get rid of it, and I’m happy it was all meaningful and beautiful like you’d wanted it to be, but…don’t let that get in the way of logic, please! Just be sure he’s not going to trample your heart again.”
Of course, my friend had a point. She knew me well and had been there to see the damage Kyle had done. She was being caring and realistic, but I wanted this to be my happily ever after, the one that had been taken away from me.
“I’m not that crazy about him,” I said. “It will take a lot more for him to hurt me.”
Sara laughed. “Oh, Maya, you are so sweet. And so naïve. Maybe you should take a shower. The cold shower will snap you back to reality. Besides, you smell like sweat.”
I shook my head and playfully shoved my friend. I knew she was trying to look out for me, but I was sure I had this under control; I was taking it one date at a time. Kyle and I sleeping together after the first date was beside the point. After all, is it a first date when we had a two-year relationship behind us? I didn’t think that counted.
After taking a shower, I sat on my bed and brushed my wet hair. My phone rang, and I eyed it wearily. I was terrified Tyler would be phoning me back. I wasn’t sure what scared me more about our phone call: the words he had spoken or how calm he had been. When I noticed Kyle’s number on the caller ID, I smiled and answered.
“I’m so glad it’s you,” I said.
“Well, what a way to be greeted. I’m glad I could make you that happy.”
“You have no idea how horrible the alternative would have been. I don’t even want to talk about it.”
Kyle chuckled, “All right, let me distract you. Come out with me on Friday. I want to see you again.”
I smiled and nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I’d love to,” I said.
“Awesome, I’ll let you know where and what time. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me, too,” I said.
When we ended the call, I fell back onto my bed and sighed like a love-struck teenager. I had told Sara I was taking it slow, and by God, I was going to try. However, I couldn’t help the emotions flooding back to me, the memories of the time we had together. Seeing Kyle again, going on a date and sleeping together had brought back everything I felt for him, feelings I’d thought were long gone. It was wonderful to know that he still felt the same about me, too. I assumed he did anyway since he wanted to see me again as much as I wanted to see him.
But I would control myself. This time, I wouldn’t sleep with him. I would hold out and see where it went. Sara was right about one thing— if anyone could hurt me, it was Kyle Turner. I had loved him once, and he had hurt me badly, but I was hoping this time would be different. And I was willing to take the risk to find out.