Nick had offered to give me the cash to change my flight, and I would have been lying if I’d said I wasn’t happy. It had been horrible for a while, but I had dreaded the day I had to leave from the moment Nick and I had become serious. When he asked me to stay, I had argued it on principle, but it had been the easiest thing in the world for me to do. I would leave on Sunday to be on time for my classes. It was cutting it a little close, and I would probably be exhausted after traveling and whatever else we were going to do, but it was worth it.

The papers Carly had given me were on the desk, bugging me. I caught myself looking at them every now and then. When Carly had first suggested it, I had been firmly against it. My family was all back in Colorado, and I couldn’t up and leave everything behind, even if I would still get my MBA. Nick was great, but things had already gone wrong. What if I transferred to online classes and moved to Miami and something went wrong again? I didn’t know him well enough. We didn’t know for a fact we were a good match, no matter how comfortable we were with each other.

Still, those papers wouldn’t stop bugging me, and I read through them again and again.

When it was time to leave, I put on jeans and an aqua jacket to stay in the Sharks spirit even though we weren’t watching the first-stringers play. I wanted Nick to know I was rooting for him.

Carly came into my room as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

“I can’t believe you haven’t been to a football game!” she exclaimed. She’d found out I was a football virgin, as she called it, and she had been shocked. She had been to football games her whole life. But my family hadn’t been all that into sports, and I had never been to a live game.

“First time for everything,” I said. 

“Right,” Carly said. “And you’re getting star treatment.” She looped her arm through mine. “It’s all about who you know.”

We laughed and left the house with Brad driving. When we stopped at the Hard Rock Stadium where they were playing, it was packed, despite it being a second-string game. Brad led the way, taking us to one of the boxes that looked out over the field. Carly was right about it being like star treatment. With an open bar and a buffet, it was heaven. The others were all there already, the men huddled in the corner talking shop, and Kina beckoned us over.

“This is so exciting,” I said.

Carly filled them in on my inexperience, and they were equally shocked.

“We’ll explain as the game progresses,” Lacey offered. “If you’re going to be a part of this world, you should learn the game as fast as you can. You’ll understand your man better.”

I didn’t tell her that I wasn’t sure Nick and I would pull through. I laughed with them and let them educate me as the game kicked off.

It was spectacular to watch. I had to admit to that. The passion was contagious, and the atmosphere was electric. I watched the game and listened to the women explain what was happening, and I realized it was an interesting sport. Football wasn’t all about the biggest men and who could run into who the hardest.

“Did you see that?” Carly asked when Nick intercepted a ball and made a dash with it.

“He’s better every time he sets foot on the field,” Kina said. She glanced the men who were talking excitedly. “I think they saw it too.”

Nick had mentioned he wanted to play for the Sharks, to be an official first-stringer, and I was happy for him that the guys all seemed to be so impressed. This was where he would prove himself, he’d said. It was one of the reasons he’d wanted me to stay and watch.

I watched Nick on the field, and there was something raw and powerful about the way he moved, something poetic about the way he danced around the players on the field, and I realized what it meant when people said he played his heart out. Nick was phenomenal, even to my untrained eye.

Maybe I was biased.

During halftime, Carly dragged me to the bathroom with her.

“I hate being on,” she said. “My period is so damn annoying. It’s so little, it’s a waste of tampons, but here you see me having to run to the bathroom to check because I’m wearing white, and I’m paranoid.”

She laughed, and I laughed with her until I started thinking about my period. I had been so distracted here in Miami, I hadn’t thought about it. I tried to figure out when my last period was, thinking back to events where I’d been on my period to anchor them to dates. When I knew when my last period was, I worked out when the next one should be.

“Are you ever late?” I asked.

“What?” Carly asked from the other side of the stall door.

“Your period. Are you ever late?”

“Sometimes. It depends. Why?”

“I’m two days late,” I said, and my stomach turned just thinking about it. “I’m never late.”

The toilet flushed, and Carly opened the door, walking to the basins. She washed her hands, looking at me in the mirror.

“It could be from traveling. It’s a lot to go through, and you haven’t traveled that far before. Mine gets all bent out of shape when I travel.”

I shrugged. “It could be.”

“Besides, you’ve been under a lot of stress, both with Nick and the new semester. That also plays a role.”

I pulled up my shoulders. I felt hollow. There had to be some logical explanation for it.

“I guess that would make sense,” I said. Carly noticed my uncertainty.

“We’ll stop at the store on the way back and grab a test. That way, you’ll know for sure you’re not pregnant.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’ll help,” I said. But deep down, I wondered what would happen if I were pregnant. I was on the pill, and Nick had used a condom, but I was never late, and I was suddenly freaked out about it.

“Relax,” Carly said when we left the restroom. “Periods are sneaky things. It will sneak up on you at the worst moment. “

We laughed and joined the others, watching the rest of the game. What Carly had said made sense, but now that I had worked my dates and found out I was late, I couldn’t forget about it. I was haunted by what-if.

Nick’s team won, and everyone in the box was ecstatic. I was so happy for Nick, knowing how good it looked for him. Brad invited everyone to his place for a celebration party, and everyone accepted. Carly hugged me.

“Isn’t this the life?” she asked. And I had to admit, it was. Being surrounded by so many friends and sharing a passion was beautiful. Everyone piled into their cars and headed back to Brad’s place. Liam had promised he would head down to the locker room and invite the team of the day as well.

On the way, Carly asked Brad to stop at the convenience store. “We want to grab a few things,” she said to him, and I climbed out the car and followed her into the shop. We walked to the aisle where the tests were, and Carly took two.

“We can’t walk back to the car with nothing. I can’t hide this,” I said.

“So? We’ll buy ice cream or sweets or something. Chips for tonight. Brad won’t ask.”

Carly proceeded to round up junk food that none of the men would eat so we could have it all, and we paid for everything. I chipped in for the tests. Carly had been right. Brad didn’t ask. He only laughed when we got back into the car.

“Oh, to be young and beautiful and eat whatever I like,” he teased. Carly joked with him, and I listened to their playful banter in silence all the way home.

I hadn’t meant to take the test until morning. It was the best time to do it, the instructions said. But I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t concentrate on any of the conversations, and I couldn’t have a good time. When Brad brought out a bottle of whiskey, my stomach turned at the thought of alcohol. I had congratulated Nick on his game, but he spent time with the men, discussing the game.

Carly found me in a corner, looking lost.

“I can't stand this anymore,” she said. “We’re taking those tests now, so you can relax.”

I started protesting, but Carly had never taken a no for an answer, and she dragged me to the bathroom, stuffing the tests into my hands. I complied and sat down on the toilet, peeing on the stick before recapping it and putting it on the counter.

“Ten minutes is the longest time when you’re waiting for a pregnancy test,” I said.

“That’s true, but I already know what it’s going to say,” Carly said.

I agreed because I had a feeling what it would say too. I didn’t think it would be negative, though, the way Carly did.

When the ten minutes were up, I took the stick and breathed in deeply, trying to settle my nerves.

“Quick, like a Band-Aid,” Carly said.

She was right. I looked down, reading the result in the little window. Two pink lines. I fucking knew it.

“And?” Carly asked.

“Pregnant,” I said.

Carly looked surprised and grabbed the stick, studying it as if there weren’t only two lines, two lines that had just turned my life upside down.

“This can’t be,” she said. “You’re on the pill. Take the other one.”

I shook my head. The other one would only say the same. I knew it because I had known I my gut that I was pregnant. I was pregnant with Nick’s child.

“We can figure this out,” Carly said.

I shook my head again. “Let’s not talk about it tonight. Okay? Let’s just forget.”

Carly nodded, but I knew she wasn’t agreeing. She was struggling as much as I was to process it. I flushed the toilet and wiped the stick, so I could keep it before Carly opened the door. As she did, Nick appeared.

“There you are,” he said to me. “I’ve been looking everywhere. Are you okay?”

“Perfectly fine,” I answered, and we all knew my response had been way too fast. Nick nodded slowly. He pulled me to the side, and Carly disappeared, moving away when she knew it wasn’t her business.

“Are you sure?” Nick asked.

I nodded again. I couldn’t tell him now. He had done so well, and I wouldn’t ruin that for him. I had to figure out how I felt about it myself, anyway. So I forced a smile and hoped it was enough.

It wasn’t. I could see Nick didn’t buy it, but he didn’t push the topic, and that meant a lot to me.

“It’s been a long week. I’m a little tired,” I offered, hoping it would work. “Now that we’re okay again, and I’m allowing myself to feel what I feel, it’s hitting me harder than I thought it would.”

Nick brightened, and I knew he bought it. I’d been more convincing, and I was relieved. I felt guilty about telling him another lie, especially after the last one had gone so terribly wrong, but I needed to buy myself a little time.

I had to wrap my mind around the fact that I was pregnant with Nick’s baby.