10
Pacey
I was getting ready to leave the club when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see that it was a tall bald man who I had never met before.
“Hey, Adam wants you to come backstage and meet him.”
I had already called an Uber to pick me up and I didn’t plan to stay.
“Is there a reason why?” I asked.
“I have no idea. Are you going to come or not?” He crossed his arms, and his chest bulged out over them.
There was something odd about the whole thing.
I had no idea what he wanted to talk to me about. But I figured that I’d do something for once that was outside my comfort zone.
I did have a good time at the show, and I was glad I ended up going without Amanda.
I followed the tall man towards the stage and walked through a set of black doors that slammed behind us. A red exit sign glowed at the end of the hallway. Besides that, it was pitch black.
It wasn’t every day that I followed strangers into the darkness. But I figured I could trust him because he was a security guard, or at least that was what the back of his shirt said.
I opened my eyes wide trying to adjust to the darkness. I felt helpless like a skydiver with a broken parachute. I couldn’t figure out why Adam would invite me backstage.
We turned down a few dark corridors and stopped in front of a door. There was music blaring and muffled conversations on the other side.
“He’s in here,” he said simply and then left me there alone.
I hesitated to push it open.
But I figured that what was on the other side was probably better than being alone in the darkness. I took a breath and pushed the metal bar and the door swung open.
There was a crowd of people with drinks in their hands. Some of them looked like they were at the concert.
Everyone was gorgeous as hell. The guys and girls looked like supermodels with chiseled cheekbones and beautiful outfits.
People glanced quickly at me as I walked in but then continued their conversations.
I couldn’t remember the last time I was at a party like this.
I only ever went out with my fellow musicians in the Symphony Orchestra. Only once in a blue moon would I entertain a night out with Amanda who’d always force me to go out with her.
I felt awkward as I maneuvered through the crowd of people. They were wearing various scents of perfumes and cologne.
I’d completely forgotten the reason why I was back here at all. But I remembered that it was because of Adam.
But he was nowhere to be seen.
I wanted to disappear in there, I already felt out of place enough at the concert, and this was even worse. There were open bottles just sitting on the table and I made myself a rum and coke.
I looked back to the crowd and I noticed Adam sitting on the black leather couch. He was turned away from me.
I recognized his luscious dark brown hair. His white t-shirt stood out from the sea of people wearing black. His tattoos drew my eyes all over his tanned skin and I nearly swallowed my tongue.
He was talking to a girl who was sitting close to him. She pressed her hand on his thigh whenever she laughed, probably at one of his jokes.
Around Adam were other girls standing close, talking to other people but keeping an eye on Adam. They were probably waiting for their turn to speak to him.
I still had no idea why I was in there, it was obviously not my place to be.
Why would he even ask me to come here?
He, of all people, should have known how anxious I was in a situation like this. As I walked back into the crowd to leave, I glanced back at Adam one more time.
When I did, his eyes met mine.
He raised his brows and gave a cool head nod. He said something to the girl he was talking to and then he walked towards me. People parted around him as he made his way through the crowd.
He had that smirk on his face that slowed down time.
“Hey,” he said. “Glad you made it out tonight. Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah, I had a great time. Thanks for the tickets.”
The speakers were blaring music so loud that we had to lean in close to hear each other. The sounds of conversations in the room blurred with the music, and all I saw was Adam in that moment.
“No problem. I owed you one. What are you drinking?” He asked.
Before I could answer, he grabbed the cup from me, he took a sip and then smiled.
“I figured it was a rum and coke. It’s your favorite,” he said, glancing around the room. “Who’d you come with, I did give you two tickets right?”
“I was going to come with my friend but she bailed last minute.”
“Ahh, she. Someone special?”
“No, just a friend from the Symphony.”
Why would he even ask that?
Didn’t he know that I wasn’t into girls?
Then, I remembered that I had only come out in college, which was after he left.
Adam’s skin glowed against the backdrop of fluorescent violet light in the room. He looked much more alive than the night I found him in the alleyway.
I figured that he always looked like this after a performance. He thrived off this environment. I clearly didn’t.
“I didn’t really get a chance to talk to you at the coffee shop the other day. I wanted to ask how you are doing,” he said, his blue eyes were friendly and sincere.
“I’m doing well. Things are the same for me. Just been practicing a lot of shows with the Symphony. It’s a great time,” I said.
A new song started playing.
It was louder and it drowned out other conversations in the room. At the same time, it pushed us closer together so that we could hear each other.
“I heard you’re the youngest member of the Orchestra,” Adam said.
He was so close that I could smell the peppermint on his breath, and undertones of what he had been drinking. Vodka, maybe a bit of whiskey.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I looked you up the other day when you said you were with the Symphony now. I stumbled upon a news article about you. It was pretty impressive.”
I knew the one he was talking about, it was written a year ago when I first joined the Symphony. But I was surprised that he remembered what we talked about in the coffee shop and that he actually looked me up.
“So you live in Los Angeles now?” I asked, pretending like I hadn’t been stalking him periodically for the past six years.
He nodded. “I got a house in the Hollywood Hills maybe about six months ago. Have a pretty nice studio in there to make music. The pool’s not too bad either.”
Adam said it casually as if his mansion wasn’t worth millions of dollars. I closed my eyes and imagined him inside his home—looking like a king. I pictured the wild parties that he’d throw every night with good-looking people surrounding him.
Then, I thought about my own life, which was not all that glamorous.
“I’m…happy for you, I’m glad you’re doing well,” I said, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes when I said it.
“Thanks,” he said, tucking his gold chain into his shirt.
He had a fresh white t-shirt on. With him standing that close, I could smell his scent that brought me back to our teenage years together.
The years that felt like lifetimes ago. Yet could be brought up instantly by something as simple as his scent.
“How’s your mom doing?” I asked.
I hadn’t seen her either since they both left. But she had her share of headlines on tabloids over the years as well.
“She’s good—I guess, a lot better now than before,” now it was Adam who was avoiding my eyes.
I’d rarely seen Adam hesitate like that. It was a completely different side of him that he’d never show on stage.
“I’m glad,” I smiled.
“So the harp, eh?” He asked, changing the subject.
I nodded. “I got into it in university. I thought I’d stick to the piano, but I needed a bit of a break from it. The harp is similar in a lot of ways, so it was an easy transition.”
“You never really struck me as a harp guy, but now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense.”
“How so?”
“Well, you’re just graceful like that. I’d love to see you play one day.”
“Really? You’d come to a show?”
“If I can, I don’t want to make any promises,” he said, taking another sip from his drink. “But, I’ll be here over the holidays now that we ended the world tour. Going to spend some time with my mom. It’s bittersweet being back in my hometown.”
“How come?” I asked
“Well, the city feels different and familiar at the same time. The longer I’m here, the less I miss Los Angeles. It’s a crazy place down there.”
“I could never just up and leave like that. I’d feel like a fish out of water. It’s much nicer to stay in a place I know,” I said.
“That’s totally something you’d say, Pace,” Adam laughed.
I saw the girl that Adam was talking to approach him from behind. She slid between us and whispered something in his ear.
Two of her friends stood close by with their flat-ironed hair, dark lipstick, and smoky eyes. I couldn’t tell the difference between the three of them.
The music was still blaring so I could only hear parts of what they were saying.
“Do you want to go?” The girl asked.
Adam said something back to her that I couldn’t hear.
“Back to your hotel maybe?” She replied.
Adam looked at me, then back at her. His blue eyes flickered like a flash of lighting. There was a pause that made my throat feel tight.
“I think I’ll stay for a bit,” Adam said. “I’m talking to a buddy I haven’t seen in years.”
The girl looked annoyed as she pulled out her phone from her Chanel clutch and handed it to Adam.
Adam put his phone number in, then she hugged him and tried to kiss him, but Adam turned away and she had to kiss his cheek.
A red lipstick mark was left on the side of his face.
Jealous eyes from the other women in the room followed the three girls who left. I wondered who she was.
My stomach felt like tangled headphones at the bottom of a backpack. My jaw clenched so hard that it hurt.
He glanced over at me, and I tried to relax but I was sure that he already saw how tense I was.
“Sorry about that,” he said. “She couldn’t even take the hint that I wasn’t interested. Chicks are so pushy these days.”
“You still gave her your number though,” I said.
“A fake one,” he said, winking then wiping his cheek.
The red lipstick smeared on his face. It left a smudged pink mark that unsurprisingly made him even sexier.
“Let’s go sit down, I can’t stand on my feet any longer after that performance,” he said.
Adam grabbed my arm.
His touch caught me by surprise. It made me think of the evening I carried him to the coffee shop when he rested his head on my shoulders. His grip was firm like an MMA fighter’s grip on his opponent.
It felt like we were underwater as we moved through the crowd.
I was attracting a lot of the attention in the room because I was talking to Adam. The attention I hated and loved at the same time. The attention that I’d never dream of having if I was alone.
But with Adam, I felt safe.
We sat on the leather couch. The music was more muted in that corner of the room. The crowd stood over us like tall grass in a field.
Though we were in a room filled with people, it felt like we were alone.
We sipped our drinks, listening to the rock music that was playing. It wasn’t my favorite genre but after so many drinks, I was starting to loosen up and not be so judgemental.
One of his bandmates, the drummer, walked over.
His head was shaved and he also had tattoos covering his whole body. He was shirtless and wearing a leather jacket.
There was a cigarette was tucked behind one of his pierced ears. The drummer gave a fist bump to Adam who was sitting with his arms spread across the span of the couch.
“Hey, this is my buddy, Pacey,” Adam said, introducing me to his bandmate.
He reached out his hand to shake mine. He had a tight smile. “Gray. Nice to meet you. How do you guys know each other?”
Adam and I both looked at each other. It was a question that was hard to answer in one sentence, especially in the middle of a party.
Adam turned back to Gray.
“High school,” Adam said simply.
“Ahh, I see. Well, welcome to the family,” Gray said. “I just scored some candy. Do you guys want to do some?”
“Candy?” I asked, thinking it was a bit weird how he phrased it.
“Yeah,” he said, glancing over both his shoulders.
Then in his jacket, he pulled out a small clear zip lock bag of white powder.
He was talking about drugs. My shoulders felt tight suddenly. I didn’t do that kind of stuff, I knew the harmful things it did to the mind and body.
Adam caught a glimpse of my discomfort. “We’ll pass for tonight. But let’s do a shot instead.”
“I have some nice Cognac in the other room, come join us,” Gray insisted.
“Alright,” Adam said, as he got up off the couch.
I didn’t need another drink, I was fine. But I felt the pressure to go. It felt wrong to deny Gray’s offer twice.
Adam motioned his hand for me to follow him. His smirk and his eyes seduced all motor controls in my body and I followed him.