It’s Friday, and Austin doesn’t know where he stands.

He knows what his friends have told him. He knows what Leo has done—small gestures, thoughtful things that shows he’s paying attention to what’s good for Austin as much as what Leo wants. All of these things are clear to him. He’s picked them apart minute by minute, hour by hour, scene by scene.

He’s thought about the way Leo took him home, drunk and more than a little handsy, and locked himself in the bathroom. Austin put the last part together on his own, remembering only bits and pieces. It had been startling to think of Leo, sitting in the bathroom, waiting for Austin to fall asleep.

He’s thought a lot about the way Leo backed off after Austin initially shoved him away. How he’d been patient and careful when he explained his desire to prove himself—I’d like you to get to know me. He’s tried to imagine any condition under which Leo would take the time to pursue him just as a conquest—they range from comical to Hollywood-worthy. None of them make sense. They’ve already had sex; if Leo wanted to prove he could get someone back, he would’ve achieved his goal long ago and left.

All he’s left with is the increasingly obvious notion that Leo is, in fact, actually willing to start over again. Start a relationship again, that is. Austin isn’t sure he knows how to handle that.

“You okay?”

“Yup. Just checking this loop for the fiftieth time,” he says, smiling at Lina. She nods sympathetically.

“We’ve all been there. At least it’s the weekend, right? Next week, we’ll be back in the big room doing final touches.”

“It’ll be weird, not being in split teams.”

“At least it means we’re closer to the final run. You know, if they’ve got good PR, we sometimes get invited to launch parties.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. Dean tries to make sure we go on rotations—and if it’s a genre we like or a client we work well with, he’ll make sure you get put on the list.”

“That’s great,” Austin says, excited. He can just imagine what the launch party would be like—filled with all sorts of people from the industry, all mingling and swapping information. It would be the chance of a lifetime to go.

“Usually it takes almost a month after project finishing to get it done. They schedule most stuff in advance but their PR people usually do some last-minute advertising before then. You might get to go, if they do one.”

“I hope so.”

It might be a little preemptive but he makes a list after their conversation, trying to think of what he’d need for a launch party. Business cards...probably a pen just in case, a small notepad...

“You doing trigonometry?”

“What?”

“You look like you’re doing mental rocket science,” Rowan says, amused. He glances at Austin’s desktop, nodding at the animation. “Looks good. I can’t believe it’s almost over.”

“We still have a week,” Austin smiles.

“Well, some—”

“Rowan!”

Leo’s interruption startles them. Rowan trails off, eyebrows raised, waiting for an explanation. Leo fidgets, looking embarrassed. Austin almost laughs. He looks like a kid caught breaking the neighbor’s window with a baseball. He’s not sure why but he kind of likes the way Leo looks flustered, not as cool or at ease as he usually is.

“Yes?” Rowan finally prompts.

“I...do you have my number? I can’t remember if you do. I don’t think I have yours.”

“Go sit down,” Rowan finally responds, clearly unamused. Austin laughs silently, covering his grin with one hand.

“You were saying?” Austin asks mildly, still hiding his amusement.

“Some of our team members won’t be in as much next week. The sound people only come in half days and not the whole week, from what I remember...I think the second shift also get their hours cut. Not much to do until the project is finalized.”

“That’s too bad. I guess we’ll all kind of be passing strangers until this is over, then.”

“I mean, until we all inevitably end up at the bar, drinking our sorrows away.”

Austin laughs, thinking back on their last meeting. He wonders if Lina will call them all together again for the night. He almost hopes she does—even if it’s Saturday or Sunday, he’ll still go. I can go, Leo will go, and maybe I’ll be able to get the right words out.

“Without alcohol,” he mutters to himself, thinking it’s high time he starts taking responsibility while sober—not just feeling regret. He forgets Rowan is standing right next to him.

“Well. That’s one way to do it,” Rowan says, mouth twisting. Austin gets the distinct feeling that Rowan sees right through him like a sheet of plastic.

Well, too bad, he thinks, suddenly caring a whole lot less than he used to. If things go well over the weekend, he won’t have to worry about playing pretend anymore.

***

“LUNCH IS IN THE LOUNGE,” Lina tells him, passing by with a plate in hand.

“Lunch?”

“Leo got something when he was out. Voice actors and their empty schedules,” she says fondly, shaking her head.

Austin wanders out carefully, half expecting Leo to ambush him, but the hall is suspiciously empty. Even the lounge is relatively silent, the only sign of activity was the already-opened trays of food on the table. Chinese. Specifically, stir fry. He immediately flushes, wondering if it’s some sort of strange sign. What is he trying to tell me? Is he even trying to tell me anything? Chinese food is cheap, he thinks, it was probably just easy to get in bulk. The thoughts don’t make him any less nervous as he grabs a bowl from the cupboard, carefully layering it with food.

He hears Leo before he sees him. There are approaching footsteps, careful and evenly paced, and when they reach the door they squeak abruptly. He can hear a hesitant step backwards, almost sneaky, and he wants to laugh. He can imagine the man leaning backwards, unsure, trying to make a discreet escape.

“It’s a lot of food,” Austin says, glancing over his shoulder. Leo is predictably hanging onto the doorway, leaning backwards as if he’s just about to talk to someone in the hallway.

“I guess,” Leo says, casually leaning back in. Or at least, he probably thinks it looks causal. Austin might, too, if he hadn’t heard what just happened. “I’m kind of bad at judging volume. Anyway, I can take it home or stick it in the fridge for everyone else to eat from next week.”

“Everyone else? You’re not going to eat the stuff you paid for?” Austin tries to smile encouragingly, wondering if the man is nervous because of his request to take a break.

They have been a bit strange around each other for the past few days. Austin’s been caught up in his own mind, but he’s noticed Leo’s increasingly flagging attempts at trying to smooth things over. It’s not that Leo is giving up; he just gets the sense that Leo is almost as preoccupied as he is. He wonders if they’re plagued by the same thing. Hopes they are, just a little.

“I won’t really get to,” Leo says easily. “I mean, aside from the schedule change—”

“I forgot, your schedule is changing,” Austin realizes, accidentally interrupting in his shock. He moves to leave the room, thinking that Leo will follow him.

He doesn’t. Austin pauses in the doorway, looking back, confused. Worried. What’s wrong with him?

“I need to—” Leo starts, looking as reluctant as a cat being dragged to water, but then Austin is called from down the hallway.

“Hey! Can you come take a look at this?” Lina calls, popping her head out of the project room.

Austin glances back at Leo, waiting for a second. When Leo doesn’t immediately finish, he smiles apologetically.

“Sorry,” he says, “I’ll see you later.”

He really does mean it when he says it. He fully expects to talk to Leo later, maybe when the man figures out what it is he wants to say. He’s not sure whether Leo is just uncomfortable around him, given their rocky relationship outside of work, or if the man simply doesn’t want to talk.

I guess I’ll find out later, he thinks, hoping whatever it is sheds some light on them.

He knows he’s been going back and forth. One moment he gets lost in the relationship and the next he shies away, running from what he feels. He can’t seem to settle on a choice—trying to keep a balance hasn’t worked. Restricting their relationship to sex had only worked for a brief time, if it had ever worked properly at all. He feels like it probably wasn’t ever a good choice; he’d lied to himself in thinking that he didn’t have any feelings for Leo anymore.

Because of course he did. Of course he does. Leo is attentive, silly, charming, and very good at putting other people at ease. He’s like a tiny sun, warm and brilliant, naturally drawing people in. Austin wouldn’t be able to resist him even if he tried. Not when Leo hasn’t had eyes or time for anyone else. Not when Leo had made sure he got home safe while drunk, even rejecting drunk advances and staying until the morning to make sure Austin was fine.

No one cares that much without caring. Without actually loving someone, he corrects himself. The only question is whether Austin is brave enough to accept his feelings. To admit that he still cares about Leo and wants to try again, despite their past history and all the mistakes they’ve made since then. You need to choose, he tells himself. You have a deadline, now. Next week. He only has a few days until the project is over and he knows that before then, he needs to figure out what he wants to do. After next week, they won’t see each other regularly anymore. If he wants to smooth things over, it has to be soon.

Before I miss the last chance I have.