He is excited beyond words. He lays in bed, awake before his alarm, and thinks about Saturday. Drinks, laughter, and Austin.

It had been like a dream when he’d first realized it was Austin. The man who’d been his boyfriend, the one he’d loved more than anyone else he’d ever met. They had both run away to the same hiding spot during midterms, and it had taken off from there, Leo making up excuses to meet up with Austin until he eventually gave in and they went home together.

If he’s honest, Austin is the only person he ever had to work for. Sure, he’s been turned down before, but Austin had been different. He’d clearly turned towards Leo in conversations, making the effort to include him or wave him down when they passed by each other on campus. Except Austin had been wary at first, hesitant to get into anything with Leo, probably because of his reputation. An unjustly earned one, he thinks. It wasn’t his fault that his relationships didn’t last long. He had just known what he was looking for and kept not finding it.

Until Austin. Black curls and blue eyes, a mouth worth dying for, and a wit to match. He hadn’t believed it when a friend told him Austin was single. He was so kind and snappy, a book always in hand even if he wasn’t on his way to class. Just in case, Austin had liked to say, tapping the cover of whatever he was reading at the time, you never know when you could use a good book. Or when someone else could.

It had all been perfect and then, like always, he’d screwed himself over by having a fling during a silly argument. He had self-sabotaged himself because he couldn’t help but wonder, Is this really it? Or is someone else even more perfect out there?

His phone buzzes, and he throws an arm out, fishing it off his bedside table. He blinks as his eyes adjust to the screen in the morning light. There’s an email alert, the tagline immediately making him jump upright. It’s from work. The schedules, he thinks, wondering if Austin has already signed up for a time. He opens the spreadsheet, contemplating his choices.

He’s only ever seen Austin in the afternoons and evenings, which means he probably won’t schedule for mornings. He knows Austin likes Thursdays, a weird tidbit he retained from college, so he guesses Austin won’t choose those slots. What’s left? He wonders if he should wait and let others sign the sheet, snatching an opportunity if it presents itself. Unless someone else takes his slot, he thinks, worried. He hesitates, thumb hovering over the open slots.

For once in his life, he tells himself to wait. It takes all of his willpower to do it, reminding himself that Austin is probably waiting to see if Leo signs on first. He’s not sure where they stand, beyond Austin being snappy, but he’s still hoping something changes. He thinks maybe if he just waits, Austin will give in and try. After all, they know each other, and Austin likes things he can plan on and expect. Leo smiles, keeping the window open on his phone, and hums to himself while he pulls himself out of bed to shower.

Anyway, he thinks, he’s still just as cute as ever when he’s frustrated.

He remembers when they were together. Austin wasn’t like anyone else. They had a connection he hadn’t shared with anyone else—even friends. Austin liked talking and Leo liked listening. They would switch roles easily, chatting back and forth like it was the most natural thing in the world. They brought things out of each other that no one else did—Austin was softer around Leo and Leo was more disciplined. They worked. It was almost impossible how great they were together. So Leo had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, sure it must have been coming, and then it had. Austin had said something and Leo had run away, hiding in a drink and the terrible knowledge that—like every other relationship he’d ever had—it wouldn’t work. He had gone so far and long that he’d broken it the wrong way, cheating and doing irreparable damage to their friendship. To Austin’s trust in him.

Now, the only thing he can do is try to make amends. Try to get close and prove he’s not the same person he was years ago, when he didn’t know how to deal with it. When he was so self-destructive and pessimistic that he’d inevitably doomed all of his relationships. Now, he knows what he wants. He knows how to love another person.

He just has to get Austin to see that.

***

HIS FIRST MOVE IS TO pick up breakfast on the way to the studio. He stops by a familiar chain—he’s not rolling in money—and picks up two breakfast tacos and two coffees. He keeps the bag on the floor of the bus, hoping everything stays warm long enough. He checks his phone neurotically as he nears the studio, hoping Austin will give in and sign on before he gets the chance to take a slot with another voice actor.

When he gets to the office, the others are just arriving. He recognizes Rowan, one of the animators who is wholly uninterested in him, and Lina, a woman who’s been friendly from the very beginning.

“Breakfast? Lucky!” Lina says, unlocking the back door and pushing it open. Rowan glances sidelong at Leo, clearly noticing the double portions. Leo smiles tightly, trying to be as non-threatening but deterring as possible.

“I didn’t have time to make anything before I left,” Leo explains, following the pair into the project room. The table in the center of the room has become more and more littered over the week, papers and sketches piling up.

“Do you cook? You’re going to make someone very happy,” Lina marvels, pulling off her beanie and jacket.

Well, just one person. Hopefully. As soon as he thinks of Austin, as if by divine coincidence, the man appears. He enters the room, bundled into a coat, a scarf wrapped around his neck. Leo almost laughs, remembering how much Austin loves the cold, but decides it’s in his best interest not to. Austin has been civil at best since they met, and he doesn’t want to drive the man away with any missteps.

“Morning,” Leo says, trying to sound casual. He holds out the paper bag. “Breakfast. Yes, it’s bacon. No potato.”

The silence in the room is almost loud in its completeness. For a moment, Leo expects Austin to yell at him. He’s honestly prepared for it, biting the inside of his cheek as he waits. Come on, he pleads, it’s just breakfast. Please. It’s offered like a truce—no expectations attached, the move simple and clean, as if this is natural. As if it is no grand gesture. Leo doesn’t want it to be.

“Thank you,” Austin finally says, accepting the coffee and bag, avoiding eye contact. It’s not an ideal reaction, but it’s a step in the right direction.

“I don’t know about you all, but I’m ready for Saturday,” Lina chimes in, eyes sparkling as she watches Austin step up to his computer.

“Anything not in this office is fine by me,” Rowan says, sipping from a black thermos. “Did you choose a place yet?”

“Nope. Ideas?”

“Brennan’s? It’s not far.”

For you, Leo thinks, trying to map out the bus route in his mind. He decides he can get a ride if he needs to—unless things go well and Austin decides to help him out.

“I guess so. What do you think, Austin?”

“Hm? Oh—sure. I can drive.”

“You shouldn’t drive if you’re drinking,” Rowan reminds him, waving a pencil in his direction.

“Right. Well, I’ll get a ride if I’m drinking. Otherwise, you can drive.”

“I don’t drink much. If you want to bring your car, I’ll help,” Leo offers, making the offer casual and quiet enough that it slips past the others.

He sees Austin hesitate, uncertainty and suspicion clouding his features. He casts him a brief glance, turning to his computer to log on.

“Thanks.”

Leo’s not stupid. He’s not trying to start a relationship with Austin again; he just wants to be on friendly terms. Austin is a good person and a better friend, Leo knows, and he really wants to clear up any bad blood between them. He knows his relationship with Austin ended in possibly the biggest mistake of his romantic life but he hopes they can put it behind them and start over from a new foundation. He’s not who he was in college, that’s for sure.

“Have you signed on for a slot?” Lina asks Austin. Leo pretends not to listen, leaning over Rowan’s shoulder to watch him work while keeping an ear on the other two. When Austin speaks, Leo can barely hear his murmur.

“No. I’m...giving everyone else a chance. I’m not really concerned with who I work with.”

“Oh. Well, you might want to hurry—I hear there’s only three slots left, and I know Kit’s planning on teaming up with a specific actor.”

Austin mumbles an affirmative and Leo waits, feeling like his phone is burning a hole in his pocket. He knows all he has to do is wait for the man to sign up and then take the chance. Or at least, that’s what he thinks before Lina waves him towards the coffee lounge. He follows her, curious, picking his script up on the way out. The last thing he wants is to look like he’s flirting on the job. Well, flirting with her.

“What is it?”

“Don’t worry about your slot,” she says, winking. “We all know better than to take Austin.”

“Oh. I...”

“Just so you know, you’ve got your work cut out for you. I’m not sure if it’s true or not, but Austin seems to think you’re a jerk.”

“I’m not,” Leo says quickly, trying to think of how to explain. He doesn’t want to give away too much information, especially if Austin hasn’t already. “But...I guess I didn’t make the best impression in college. It was years ago, though.”

“Well, good luck,” she says. “I can get you on a team together, but I can’t change his mind.”

I like her, Leo decides, watching her as she grabs a cup and makes her way back to the office. It only takes thirty minutes for the other slots to fill and then Leo types in his name, hoping Austin isn’t too angry. He leans back in his chair, waiting for his turn in the recording booth, barely able to concentrate on memorizing his script.

You have one chance, he tells himself, don’t mess it up.

He thinks about the team-up decision almost the entire time he’s waiting to record. He wonders how uncomfortable it could end up being, if Austin decides he doesn’t want to accept Leo. He wonders if there’s any possibility for them to reconcile at work, or if Austin will simply pretend to be better and avoid Leo at every turn. There’s no telling, which is both nerve-wracking and exciting to Leo. It means there are possibilities. A thousand ways it could go and so many options for it being good.

After a brief recording session, Leo returns to the project room to find Austin talking in hushed tones to one of the other animators. It’s almost immediately clear what he’s doing, a notebook and calendar on the table. He’s trying to switch slots, Leo thinks, heart dropping.

He’s not about to beg and plead. If Austin is really so repelled by the thought of working with Leo, he really can’t change his mind. All he can do is respect Austin’s choices and stay back. It really means he’ll have to find another time and way to talk to him and explain.

He’s thinking of other ways to apologize when the door opens, and Dean walks through, sheets of paper in hand. He leans against a table, preoccupied, waving back to the animators that greet him.

“I’ve been looking through the sign-up sheet,” Dean says, flipping between pages, “and I think this’ll work. You all did a pretty good job of assigning yourselves,” he smiles.

“How so?” Rowan asks, eyes still glued to the computer screen as he works.

“Most of the pairs are great. I see some teams with veterans working together, and I see some with newcomers helping less experienced talent—it’s a nice balance, I think.”

“But wouldn’t it be smarter to pair experience with less experience?” Austin asks, careful.

“Not necessarily,” Dean muses, moving to clear a space on the giant project board. He relocates sketches, shifting them down to make a spot for his schedule. “It’s good to cultivate an individual style. If you don’t know how to figure out how to do your job, you probably won’t do very well if you copy someone else. Doing what someone else does because it’s what you know isn’t helpful.”

“You learn the most efficient way for you to work by doing what you know how to do,” Rowan explains. “If you did what I do, you might not like it, and it could hurt your process. You kind of have to jump in.”

“I guess so,” Austin says faintly, watching Dean tack up the sheet.

“Well, the table will be up here,” Dean says, smiling as he turns to face the room. “Let me know if there are any issues. I’m sure you’ll all work very well together.”

Yeah, Leo thinks. Unless we’re exes, in which case things might not go as smoothly as you’d expect.

Austin deflates a little, leaving the man he was talking with to return to his station. He stares at his computer screen, apparently lost in thought.

Do something, Leo tells himself, but he’s not sure that he should. He doesn’t want to be a constant annoyance to Austin; he just wants to make himself nonthreatening to him. He ventures forth carefully, trying to be as visible as possible when he approaches.

“Hey,” Leo tries, careful and casual. “We’ll be working together, right?”

“You signed up,” Austin says sharply, voice low. “You tell me.”

Okay, not the best reaction. Leo pauses, nodding.

“I don’t want to make this difficult for you.”

“Then why did you sign up for my slot?” Austin hisses, glancing around the room to make sure no one is listening. He’s drawing a dark circle onto his notebook with an inky pen, the tool making indentations.

“I...thought it would be nice,” Leo fumbles, at a loss for words. He wants to explain but he almost can’t in the face of the other man’s fury. “I thought we could—”

“Whatever you thought, you’re wrong,” Austin says lowly, gathering his things around him protectively. “Don’t try and do something like this again.”

“It wasn’t on purpose. I really waited, thinking I wouldn’t get your slot, but I guess it just kind of worked out that way.”

“Yeah. Lucky for you.”

There’s no convincing him. That much, Leo can tell. He gives up for the time being, backing away to give Austin some space to think. He’s a little bewildered by the other man’s fire. It’s been five years, he thinks. That much time and space would have been fine for anyone else. He doesn’t understand Austin’s conviction in hating him, especially since he knows the man isn’t a naturally hateful person. It doesn’t make sense.

“Stubborn,” Lina murmurs when Austin crosses the room, keeping his head down.

That’s right, he thinks. Stubborn is the perfect word.