He thinks about Leo’s move at the restaurant for a long time after it happened. He thinks it’s a sign, almost. Some divine intervention to help Leo prove himself. Austin’s still reluctant, though. He’s been fooled once. You could be a little more forgiving, he tells himself. After all, it was years ago. So much can happen in a year. The little voice starts to sound frighteningly more right as time passes, and he pushes it down, deciding he’ll deal with it later.

Unfortunately, later comes at a very inopportune time.

They’re at the bar again, this time with a larger group of people. He can barely keep track of the crowd; they occupy a table in the back corner, a dozen people laughing and talking. There’s an assortment of glasses on the table—Rowan’s cider, because he can’t drink specific types of alcohol; Lina’s margarita, salted and fluorescent under the flickering lights. The drinks are as unique as the people drinking them.

He hopes this get-together goes smoother than the last one. Things have thawed between him and Leo, hostility giving way to a friendlier tone. Austin’s not going out of his way to talk to him but he’s no longer driven away by the man’s mere existence in a room.

In fact, he’s probably getting a little too interested in Leo.

“Hey, hold on,” Leo laughs, blocking the mouth of Lina’s glass. “Don’t drink it too fast. I don’t care if he dared you—”

“Oh, please,” she snorts. “I know how to do this!”

Austin watches Lina race another animator but his mind isn’t on the challenge. It’s on Leo. Somehow, the man’s caution just illustrates everything about him that Austin’s been drawn to lately. It proves that Leo has the capacity to be careful of others, which is a good thing.

Not that he’s willing to initiate a relationship with him. Damian’s confession still hangs heavily over his head, cultivating a field of doubt about Leo’s dependability in a relationship. Still, Leo has been markedly different. He’s not the same man he was in college; Austin can tell, even in passing exchanges. Especially by the way Leo treats others.

“You’re not very good about being discreet,” Rowan says, archly sipping from his glass. Austin shoots him a dirty look, burying his face in his drink.

“You’re not very good about minding your own business,” Austin shoots back, not angry but rather annoyed at himself. He’s just glad Leo hasn’t noticed his ‘obvious’ attraction yet.

“I’m assuming you’re back on good terms again.”

“Guess so.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

The problem is, there’s no way to stop wanting someone no matter how much they hurt you. He doesn’t answer, hoping he can get enough of a buzz to take his mind off the problem at hand.

“You all right?” Leo asks, standing behind his chair, leaning a little closer than usual in the din. Austin feels a dim sense of aggravation at himself; he wants to pull the man closer.

“Yeah. Fine,” he says shortly, tipping his glass back. Leo doesn’t look convinced but he leaves it alone.

He makes the mistake of thinking the night is going well. He relaxes, one more drink than usual in his system, sure that Damian won’t barge in, and Leo won’t try to capture his attention. Unfortunately, the universe notices his relaxation and decides to throw him a curveball.

“So, are you single, Austin?” Lina asks slyly over her fourth drink. Austin doesn’t understand how she looks exactly the same as before she started.

“Yeah, why?”

“Just curious! What do you look for? Are you looking for anything right now?”

“Not really,” he says, filter gone. He can’t quite control what he’s saying anymore. “I have been bored lately, but that’s not a reason to start a relationship.”

Lina practically cackles, and some other people at their end of the table chuckle.

“Sexually bored, you mean,” one of the men he doesn’t know says, laughing.

“Same difference,” Lina waves him away, focusing on Austin. She tilts her head. “So, you just want a one-night thing, then.”

“No,” he says emphatically, suddenly very sure. “Not that they’re bad. I guess...it’s just hard to find a balance. Someone who knows what you want.”

As he’s speaking, he starts to get a better idea. Someone who knows what I want. He’s had his fair share of long-term relationships, most of which were friendships at the beginning. His one-night stands have proven to be more sad than anything else, and his recent encounter left him feeling like a jerk. Maybe a partner that I actually like hanging out with is just what I need, he thinks, considering. It’s not like he has a lack of choices, what with his past and current friends being diverse enough to give him suggestions.

“Maybe—” Lina starts, a spark entering her eye, but then Leo sidles over, munching on a pretzel from the bar. “Leo! Are you single?”

Austin chokes on his drink, ducking his head to avoid meeting the other man’s eyes. He glances up, gauging Leo’s reaction. The man raises an eyebrow, one hand stuck in his pocket, just as relaxed as he always looks.

“Yes. I don’t swing your way, though. Sorry.”

“I know that,” Lina snorts. “I’m not asking for me.”

“Who, then? Your brother?” he teases, grinning.

Austin shoots Lina a deadly glare, compelling her to keep her mouth shut. He knows she’s just trying to get to know the man better, but he knows how sensitive the situation could get if Leo picks up on the possibilities.

He’s given enough of an impression to make sure she knows he’s not interested in Leo. He can’t stop her from befriending him, though. She’s an adult, and he’s not about to tell her who she can associate with. He just wishes she wasn’t so...direct with her questioning while he’s around. Lina sends him an exasperated but compassionate look, rolling her eyes. She pats his arm once under the table before trying to direct Leo towards the other side of the table as she scoots their conversation away.

“Just wondering. If you’re looking, though—”

“Maybe,” Leo says, nose wrinkling, “I was kind of a shit partner in college. I’d like to think I’m better now, even if I haven’t had a chance to prove it. Not that I’m celibate.”

Austin frowns at his drink. Should’ve guessed he still gets action, he thinks, tapping the glass. He’s not sure why he’s so disappointed by the fact. Lina hums, continuing her interrogation.

“So, you’re a one-night kind of guy?”

“No. I like consistency. My problem tends to be getting too attached—plus it’s kind of hard to have a friend with benefits around here. Requires traveling, which requires a car. Which I don’t have.”

“You’re not willing to bus-bus for a booty call?” one of the other voice actors asks, giggling. The rest of the table laughs uproariously.

“I’m not that undignified,” Leo protests good-naturedly, chuckling.

“Right, right—remind me what your character does for a living?” one of the team animators says, snorting.

The rest of the conversation fades away as Austin takes in the conversation. It can’t be that easy, he thinks. He almost can’t accept that they’re both looking for the same thing. Leo wants a relationship with consistency, and Austin somehow, magically, despite his better opinion, wants Leo. He’s feeling the pull now more than ever, tipping in the man’s direction like an off-kilter pendulum.

Do it, a tiny voice in his mind tells him. You already know what it will be like. You know you want to. Something tugs at his heart and he’s remembering moments—his birthday, two weeks in, and Leo excited to celebrate it. The way Leo had planned every Friday, a standing date at the local burger joint after their one-hour run; they’d inevitably be in bed for hours afterwards, sore and aching but too keyed up to sleep or relax. He hasn’t had sex without talking since then; he’s always explaining to his one-night stands, telling them how to move and where to go and what he doesn’t like. Part of him knows that with Leo, he wouldn’t have to say anything. It would be easy. So very, very easy.

The night is winding down already. Some of the others are arranging their rides home—roommates coming for pickup and taxis called. Austin hangs off to the side, watching. Leo pulls out his phone, laughing at something Rowan is telling him. It’s his chance.

“Do you need a ride home?”

“You’re drunk,” Leo says, emphasizing the words, laughing. “I’m not going to let you drive.”

“Then we’ll share. Split a ride to my place,” he says, fighting a grin. He carefully takes Leo’s wrist, pressing the screen button on the phone, watching it go dark.

Leo is frozen in place, mouth open a tiny amount, leaning close. His flush mounts, red spots blooming on his cheeks. I still have it, Austin thinks, immensely pleased at the reaction.

“You sure?” Leo asks. He has to clear his throat to speak and Austin knows he’s won.

“Of course.”

They wait outside the bar, milling within their crowd of friends, but neither of them is entirely paying attention. They’re standing shoulder to shoulder, something magnetic compelling them to move closer, but neither moves. Austin feels a shiver up his spine, anticipation making him antsy. He wants Leo’s hands on his skin; the small touch they shared moments before feels hot in his palms.

“Get home safe,” Rowan tells them, the most sober in the group, as they climb into the car that pulls up. They manage to say something reassuring, but he can’t recall what it is two minutes later.

Leo moves to sit on the other side of the car. The single cushion between them is simultaneously too much and not enough; Austin wants to bridge the gap but can’t decide whether it’s a good idea or not.

In for a penny, in for a pound, he tells himself. The trip seems to take forever, fifteen minutes stretching into an hour by his estimation. They keep glancing at each other, eyes meeting and breaking away nervously as they fidget. Austin can feel his mind swimming, a combination of exhaustion and drinks lowering his defenses. He can barely keep himself contained.

They pull up to Austin’s apartment and pay the driver. The street lights are blinking above them, tall and bright.

“I’ll get a ride back from here,” Leo says, looking everywhere but at Austin.

“Do you...want to come up? For water, or something? I’d hate for you to just stand around here.”

“Sure. If you don’t mind,” Leo adds, looking surprised.

“Of course not. Come on up,” Austin says, already sorting through his key ring. His heart is pounding in his ears.

Is it clean? I can’t remember if I took the trash out, he thinks, worried. It may be a studio apartment but he still likes to keep it nice. He holds his breath when he unlocks the door, letting Leo inside.

“Oh, wow,” Leo breathes, immediately gravitating towards the window. It’s situated in the direction of the beach, which isn’t really visible, but the night sky is.

He’s always liked the view. The starry sky extends over everything, and the buildings past him all dip low, a gentle slope affording him the most complete view possible. The windows are tinted on the outside, which helps save energy and also gives him the curious feeling of spying on the entire world without being seen.

“It’s small,” Austin starts, depositing his things onto the counter by the kitchenette.

“No! This...it’s a mansion compared to my shared one,” Leo laughs, turning slowly to evaluate the room. Austin feels a little guilty, thinking of the quarters Leo’s probably sharing with someone he doesn’t like. He’s assuming, based on the fact that Leo never talks about roommates, but he could be wrong.

“Well...you can stay the night, if you want. If it’s more comfortable.” It’s not what he wants or means. He’s pretty sure they both know this.

“You don’t have room for two people,” Leo says, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He moves closer from where he’s standing at the center of the room.

“My couch is really nice,” Austin murmurs, distracted by the way Leo’s white shirt looks under the light. It’s almost see-through. Almost.

“You’re going to kick me onto the couch?” Leo asks, laughing, eyes bright. “It’s too small.”

“If you’re going to be picky, you can have the bed.”

“I’m not stealing your bed from you.”

“Who said you were going to steal it?”

Leo stares at him, chewing at his bottom lip. The room seems much hotter than Austin remembers and he feels it rising around him, simmering against his skin. His heart is pounding and there’s a ringing in his ears. Oh, screw this, he thinks, giving up.

He crosses the distance between them, already breathing hard, and yanks Leo closer by his jacket. The moment their lips collide he knows he’s lost. They hit with bruising force, hot and soft, everything else in the room dissolving in the moment. Leo opens his mouth, inviting, and Austin could taste the bitter traces of alcohol on his tongue. It’s just the same as he remembers but better somehow; someone moans—he can’t tell who’s who anymore—and he loses any illusions he had about what they’re going to do.

Leo pulls at his clothes, throwing a jacket in one corner and a shirt in the other. Austin hates to break apart, feeling like maybe there’s enough alcohol between them to get drunk again, tangling together as they try to undress. He can barely focus enough to get Leo’s shirt off, biting back his disbelief at how the man has managed to become even more attractive than before.

“You—are you sure?” Leo says between kisses, already stumbling backwards as Austin crowds him towards the bed.

“I missed you,” Austin breathes, feeling the words thump in his chest to the beat of his heart. He knows, vaguely, that it’s not an answer. He doesn’t care.

Leo falls backwards, and Austin leans over him, still too wrapped up in how right it feels to be with Leo to think about what he’s doing. The only thing that makes him realize what Leo’s doing is the sudden cold air on his bare legs, a brief scratch of jeans against skin making him instinctively kick the offending clothing away. Leo laughs, and Austin bites his lip, trying to get back at him.

A wandering hand traces his backbone, and he shivers, his entire body shaking from the contact. He bites at Leo’s neck, enjoying the other man’s moan as it vibrates against his mouth. Nails bite into his back, and suddenly there’s a hand palming against his underwear, pressing just the right amount.

Austin chokes on a cry, leaning heavily on the arms holding him up. He almost wants to give in and lie on top of Leo, weak, his entire body feeling.

“Not yet,” Leo manages, voice breaking. “Look at me, Austin.”

He didn’t know his eyes were closed. He opens them, tiny waves of pleasure shuddering through him as Leo’s hand works. He’s too sensitive, and his underwear feels like sandpaper against his skin, dragging unevenly.

He has to force himself to think, a tiny voice reminding him, It has to be good for the both of us. He pulls Leo’s pants, tossing them to the floor and hearing something fall over. He doesn’t care; ignores the noise and briefly decides to look in the morning for the damage.

If there’s one thing he remembers, it’s that Leo likes taking his time. They don’t have much, though, because they’re both far past tipsy and filled with pent-up frustration and longing. It feels as if they’ve been building up to this from the beginning, the moment they saw each other again.

Still, he’s determined to try his best. He leans down, sorry for the hand that is no longer within reach, and imparts what little attention he has to the body beneath him. He breathes against Leo, smiling when he notices the man’s black briefs—they’re probably nicer than his bedsheets; Leo’s always had very specific priorities.

Leo hisses through his teeth, muscles trembling as he fights the urge to rise off the bed. Austin smirks, hoping the man will lose his will to fight. He opens his mouth, breathing just over the bulge in Leo’s briefs, enjoying the stream of words that leaves the man’s mouth.

“Shit. Come on, Austin please—”

“That’s the magic word,” Austin says, triumphant, resting his tongue against the cotton. He’s breathing harshly as he moves, sucking at the already heated spot.

Leo is wonderfully wrecked. A stream of expletives is bitten through his teeth, low and desperate, and Austin smiles. He appreciates the show. Leo is a length of tanned skin before him, athletic chest rising in the air as he squirms under Austin’s touch. His face is flushed and his golden hair is stuck to his forehead, short strands a mess against the navy-blue sheets.

Austin barely moves further up, hoping to taste the enticing hollow at the man’s neck, and then Leo’s hand snaps the band of Austin’s underwear. He twitches, entirely exposed to the cool room, and Leo grins beneath him. The man’s hand is on him in an instant and suddenly, Austin is struggling to keep himself upright, moaning shamelessly, distantly thinking to himself at least the walls are thick in this complex.

“That’s the magic word,” Leo laughs breathlessly. His hand is impossibly warm and perfect, tight enough to make Austin move instinctively. His hips jerk and he pants, feeling the temperature mount by another few degrees.

“I can’t—” he starts to say, dizzy with the motion, and then the hand disappears. He makes a displeased sound, feeling heavy and clumsy.

“Then help me out,” Leo says, guiding his hand. “Get me ready.”

Austin isn’t sure he’s ever heard sweeter words in his life. He moves quickly, a bottle in his bedside stand snatched within a second. Leo laughs, and he silences him with his mouth, wondering if anyone else has ever kissed him so completely. It’s almost the same as having sex with Leo, he thinks—the other man puts all of his attention into the act, paying attention to what works and what doesn’t. He pursues a specific spot on the roof of Austin’s mouth with dogged precision, the nerves flaring at the sensation. Austin both wants to stop him and continue, the feeling keeping him attached for a moment longer than he means to.

Austin finally breaks away to pay attention to the task at hand, carefully stripping the underwear away, aware it’s soaked and sticky. He feels a rush overtake him as he takes in the sight, admiring the cut of Leo’s hips and the well-tended spot just below.

“You’re so particular about haircuts,” Austin snickers, snapping the bottle open. The contents are cold in his hand.

“And you’re particular about your stupid eyebrows—” Leo fires back, his words dissolving into a hiss as Austin carefully traces him with a finger, slow and purposeful.

Leo’s legs are already spread; he lifts himself closer by a centimeter, staring, waiting. On any other occasion, Austin would wait—draw it out and trade a few choice insults. Now, he’s just as tortured as Leo is. He knows better than to rush too much, though, so he starts with two fingers, stretching slowly.

The resulting noises he gets are like music. It’s no wonder the man uses his voice for a living.

“I bet you’d like to be recorded, wouldn’t you?” Austin says, feeling himself draw tighter with anticipation. “You’d want to listen to yourself later—”

“Yes,” Leo breathes, hands twisting on the sheets. “Yes, I would—I would listen to you doing this—”

“Don’t lie. It’s not me you want to hear, is it?”

“Of course it is—” Leo starts, but then Austin pushes another finger in, smiling when only a choked noise finishes the sentence. Leo squirms against the bed, trying to move further down.

“You always liked the sound of your own voice,” Austin muses. “Even if you are a good listener.”

“Fuck—please, please just—”

“Just what?”

“Do it,” Leo growls, hands flying from the sheets to grip Austin’s arms. “Come on. I want you. I want—”

It’s all it takes for Austin to move, fingers leaving, positioning himself without looking. He’s been here before; it all feels natural, routine, like something he knows by heart. It could never be boring, though; especially not after being apart so long.

He enters Leo in one perfect, smooth motion. He can’t believe how right it is—the warmth, the space, the way Leo pulls him in. He sighs, too hot and shaken, wondering if it was this amazing before or if it’s better now. He can’t tell.

“How does it feel?” Leo manages, tugging at Austin’s curls. “Tell me.”

“Perfect, you feel perfect,” Austin says, breath hitching in his chest. “You’re perfect, Leo, so good—so tight—”

He doesn’t know if he keeps talking; Leo pulls him sharply, one hand scraping against Austin’s hip, and he gladly moves. Neither of them has any self-control left; it’s thrown in a corner somewhere with their shirts. He doesn’t know if he’s moving to a beat; he just keeps moving, in and out, watching Leo twist beneath him.

Words float around him, meaningless, moans and snippets of sentences escaping Leo like breaths. It’s like Austin is pushing them out of him, curses and pleas and praises all flying out together. They cloud the air around them, thick and heavy, muddling. He can only pick a few out from the jumble, there and gone in a flash.

“Austin—faster, move faster—” Leo begs, the back of his knees sweaty on Austin’s shoulder. He’s using the sides of the bed to pull himself down, meeting each push with an equally enthusiastic drop.

Austin feels insane. He wouldn’t be able to tell up from down if he was asked, or who ends where. They’re too connected, heated, feeling ready to burst and spill over at the edges. He wants to cry at how good it feels, familiar and new at the same time. He may as well be nothing but a feeling; his eyes are closed and his arms are numb from holding his body up. Leo’s nails are scraping his chest, fiery and biting.

If it lasts a minute or an hour, he doesn’t know. All he knows is that they’re sweaty, chest to chest, the sound of skin echoing in his tiny apartment. The sheets are sticking to his skin, a corner tangled by his feet.

Leo reaches his limit, back lifting off the bed, a cry ripped from his mouth. He pulls against Austin, tightening reflexively, and it’s enough to push him over the edge. Austin gives in at that moment, slamming hard into the body beneath him, losing his breath for a second as a wave of intensity burns through him. He’s almost knocked over by the force, body shaking as all of his energy floods from him.

“Oh...God,” Leo manages, half laughing, trying to even out his breathing. Seconded, Austin thinks, trying to pull himself away carefully so he can collapse onto the sheets.

“Same,” Austin murmurs, rolling to the side. He feels boneless when he slumps onto the mattress, exhaustion seeping into his body. His mind is still fuzzy from the climax.

“I’m showering here,” Leo chuckles, a hand inching over Austin’s bare chest. “I can’t make it back to my apartment.”

“Good,” Austin says, feeling something rise in his chest. “If you don’t mind the sheets.”

“I couldn’t give less of a shit about the sheets.”

They both snicker, tired and sated, and Austin feels an ember of warmth flicker in his chest. I didn’t die, he thinks, pleased. In fact, he’d argue that he did the exact opposite. Whatever happened in their past, it’s clear that Leo is at least happy to give him the attention he needs.

That’s all he’s willing to think about at that moment, too content to spend much time considering the ramifications of what they’ve done. All he knows is that he’s completely pleased, finished, and full.

He has the presence of mind to hope his air conditioning kicks in, thinking to himself that a good breakfast sounds really nice. He hopes they wake up in time to go get pancakes.

Imagine that, he thinks, already yawning, eyelids heavy. Pancakes for breakfast, just like when we were in college.