Half of him is dreading walking in. He can only imagine running into Austin, the other man paling at Leo’s appearance and walking in the opposite direction. God, I hope he’s not in the office when I go in.

The message from Dean is still on his phone. A text message asking him to come in and look over paperwork for a contract. Just something to consider for the future, Dean had explained, in case Leo were considering signing on to a studio. Your final payment will probably go through today, he added, and make sure to let me know if you need any extra referral letters.

He walks up to the building with a pit of dread below his stomach. When he opens the door, he sees Katie lift her head.

“Leo! I feel like it’s been forever,” she smiles.

“I know. I’m just here—”

“To get paperwork from Dean, right? I’ll go see if he’s off the phone yet.”

She disappears down the hallway, and Leo leans against the desk, musing. It’s strange, he thinks, how quickly a place can begin to feel like home. Just an arrangement of rooms and furniture, nothing spectacular about the paint or décor, yet he feels as strong a nostalgic pull as he does when walking around his old college campus. It’s almost like he can see ghosts of himself walking through the space, interacting with others and replaying moments of his life here.

“Hey. Good to see you again. How have you been doing?”

“Good, thanks,” Leo says, looking up to see Dean waiting for him. He follows the man back to his office, eyes lingering on the newest addition to the art wall. “That from the project?”

“It is,” Dean smiles, pausing, “It was the first thing ever drawn for the game. Actually, it was your character,” the man realizes, laughing. “I should get you a copy.”

“That would be great, thanks,” Leo smiles.

The office isn’t as crowded as it was the last time he was in it. The boxes have been flattened, he assumes, thrown out with the recycling. All of the folders have been organized in a large box, colored tabs sticking out between the papers. The lid is marked with the project name and date, a roll of tape waiting on the lid to seal it indefinitely. It feels tidy to Leo, the way everything is ordered and tucked in its place. It’s hard to believe that in the span of developing a video game, he’s been through a ridiculous amount of relationship drama. From having no hope to having all of it and then only some. Now he’s back at none again, like a cycle has been completed. It’s all been one giant loop, he thinks. A cycle he has no clue how to break.

Not that it matters now. He’s pretty sure of where they stand. Austin hasn’t contacted him again and Leo has been left by the wayside, on break for an indeterminate amount of time until Austin probably decides he isn’t worth it.

“Here are the papers,” Dean says, bringing him back to reality. “They’re almost exactly the same as the ones you signed for the project. The only difference is that there’s some precedence given to company projects and a clear pledge to assist in placement within other companies’ projects.”

“Really? That sounds great,” Leo murmurs.

He’s being faced with an issue. If he says yes, he will be a long-term member of the company—which means he’ll be working with Austin. He doesn’t like the idea of invading the man’s workspace but he isn’t about to turn down an offer. Not when it’s for a place he’s comfortable and familiar with. But will I turn it down, if I could tell that Austin might warm up to me in time? Should I even care about him anymore, if he can’t care about me? He doesn’t think he’ll like the answer, if he thinks about it.

“We usually say that with a long-term agreement, we’ll make sure to spread your name and include you in suggestions for creators looking for talent. With you, though, I don’t think I’d have a problem doing it anyway.”

Dean winks and Leo laughs, ducking his head. He knows he’s about to get over emotional about everything, especially since he’s back in the office. His mind is already wandering, creating scenes of Lina and Rowan trading insults over coffee.

“Thank you,” he says, hoping Dean can tell how much he appreciates the support. How grateful he’s been for the chance. “I don’t think I can say that enough times.”

“It was always a pleasure having you around,” Dean smiles, rising from his chair. “Now, give me a chance to go run a copy of that print. Lina and Rowan are in the lounge, I think, if you’d like to stop by and chat.”

“That would be great,” he says, even as nervousness rises in his chest. Will I see him?

He feels like a robber sneaking into the place, walking towards the back of the building. A few of the other animators wave to him from the project room and he returns their greeting, smiling even as he keeps an eye out for Austin.

“Is that...a ghost?” Lina exclaims from the lounge, pressing a hand against her chest dramatically. Leo rolls his eyes, walking through the entrance to see a room thankfully devoid of Austin.

“I wish. Ghosts don’t have to pay rent,” Leo jokes, leaning against the counter.

“What have you been doing, then? Resorting to flirting for food?” Rowan asks. He’s actually smiling. Wow. I had to go away for Rowan to actually open up to me, he thinks, amused. Maybe he and Austin have more in common than either of them realize.

“It’s a tough life,” Leo sighs, grinning. “How did the project go?”

“We’re waiting on word but it looks good,” Rowan muses. “Dean was even moved by the amount of work we got done. Lina’s betting on us getting a retreat or something.”

“A retreat?” Leo echoes, laughing.

“Well, it’s more plausible than what Austin thinks—he thinks Dean’s going to finally buy a proper breakfast.”

“Where is the workaholic?” Leo asks casually, trying to pretend he doesn’t care too much. “I didn’t see him on my way over.”

“He’s working with a potential hire,” Lina says, waving a hand in the general direction of the sound booth. “Who’s also off the market, damn it.”

“Oh,” Leo says, trying not to immediately run and look. You shouldn’t care, he tells himself, but all he can think of is the guy alone with Austin. His imagination is already making the mystery man astronomically attractive and perfect in every way.

“I’m sure you can catch him getting out in a second,” Rowan says mildly, “they’re supposed to finish soon. Why don’t you go wait by the door and surprise him?”

“I don’t think I should—”

“It’s fine,” Lina smiles. “I’ll go with you—wouldn’t want to miss the look on his face!”

There’s no escaping. He follows Lina out, casting one last look at Rowan, who wiggles his fingers in a unworried farewell. Never mind, I don’t care if he’s opening up, Leo thinks, flipping the man off as he leaves.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in the person with Austin. When they get to the booth, though, it’s curiously empty.

“Huh. I thought—oh, they’re in the sound room,” she says, glancing into the glass area.

His first thought is that the sound workers aren’t inside. It’s just Austin and the man standing with him.

The man, whom he automatically recognizes. Even with shorter hair and a semi-professional shirt, Damian is unmistakable. Leo feels his breath stop in his lungs, everything going still around him. Is this karma? He wonders, half horrified and half disbelieving. It would be the person he mistakenly cheated with that would sweep Austin away.

I guess it makes sense, he thinks, his anger sapping away, replaced by a dull pain. The person he cheated on and the person he used. He’s a bad storm, leveling entire cities and leaving the people behind to bond over his horrific destruction. He can’t bring himself to hate either of them—not just because he knows it’s his fault but because he really does love Austin; he wants the man to be happy. If that happens with Damian, that’s just the way the world works.

Dean somehow appears, blessedly there at his elbow, a laminated copy in hand.

“There you are. Here’s the art I was telling you about—”

“Thank you,” Leo says quickly, smiling. He’s suddenly glad he’s an actor—he can cover up what he’s feeling so quickly, plastering over a broken heart in no time to pretend he’s fine. “I appreciate it. It was nice seeing you again, Lina.”

“Don’t you want to—”

“I can’t stay,” Leo laughs, the sound tinned and fake. “Tell Rowan I said goodbye, okay?”

He pretends to be cheery right up until the moment he turns around, walking out the back door. It’s not until he steps through it that he realizes his mistake. The bus stop is at the other side of the building.

He stares at the sky, disbelieving. Shakes his head at the invisible man in the moon, which is already hanging in the dim sky. The nights are longer, and the sky gets darker early. He thinks it fits his mood well. May as well be winter, he thinks, because I’m going to be cold for a long time.

He’s just about to walk around the side of the building when he hears the door open, footsteps pounding on the pavement. He almost doesn’t want to turn around.

“Leo.” It’s the most firm he’s heard Austin in a long time. There’s no hesitancy in his voice—just a clear, direct intent.

“Hey,” Leo says, turning halfway. He’s not sure he can take more.

For some reason, Austin’s already bundled up, gloves and scarf and jacket all piled on in the cold winter air. Leo stares, wondering how the man managed to get dressed so quickly.

“Are you avoiding me?”

It’s the most absurd question he’s ever heard. He wants to laugh at it but he can’t. He’s too hurt to even consider it.

“You asked me to lay off,” Leo reminds him, not sure what else to say. It’s the truth.

“I said I wanted a break—I didn’t mean I wanted you to disappear completely from my life,” Austin says, incredulous.

“It doesn’t matter,” Leo says, trying to finish the conversation while he’s still on level ground. He gets the feeling that if he talks to Austin for much longer, he’ll spill everything. “My contract for the project finished, so I probably won’t be around.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You didn’t exactly seem happy to be around me.” Leo says, incredulous. “You’d just told me that you wanted a break. And I know that you said it was because you were tired but I know what you meant.”

“What did I mean?” Austin asks, insistent. He’s almost out of breath, eyes wide as he waits for an answer.

Leo shakes his head. “I’m not going to speak for you, Austin. Why don’t you tell me what you really meant when you asked for a break?”

“It wasn’t what it was supposed to be. What we were doing—it wasn’t a casual relationship. You made me lunch at my apartment,” the man says, trailing off, as if that one incident explains everything.

Hell, maybe it does. Maybe that was the thing about himself that he could never hide. He could never stop caring about another person.

“So, we took a break. I stayed away, just like you asked. Work was never part of the agreement anyway. Why does it matter?”

“Because I didn’t know! I just—came in one day and you weren’t there. I expected you to be there.”

“Why? I thought no expectations were what you wanted,” Leo says, throwing his hands in the air. “Or does me showing up at work somehow factor into us having sex in the evenings?”

Say it, he thinks trying to will the other man into confessing. Say what you mean. Tell me the truth. He can tell Austin is on the edge, just a hair’s breadth away from spilling something. His cheeks are bright red, eyes shining. Leo almost wants to give in to him, admit what he feels and make it easier. He doesn’t because he knows this is something Austin has to do. If Austin doesn’t own up to his feelings, he’ll keep backing out. He’ll never hold himself accountable, and they’ll never be on equal footing. If Leo is the one to start their relationship over again, Austin will run the first chance he gets by saying I didn’t say I wanted it.

He has to say he wants it. Leo can’t do anything about this standstill until the man admits what he feels. If they’re not both laid out, completely honest about what they want, there’s no way they can get back into a relationship again. Not with their history looming over their shoulders.

“You know, when I told you I wanted a break, it wasn’t because I was tired.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

“It was because I wasn’t.”

“I don’t follow,” Leo sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. Part of him wants to just climb into a cab and ride away—he has things he could do, places he could go. Ways to start over again with his beaten heart.

“I wasn’t tired,” Austin says carefully, stepping the barest bit closer, “and I wasn’t stressed. I wasn’t constantly thinking about the project, or how I could mess up, or how I had to do more to stand out.”

Is this it? Leo wonders. He holds back, keeping his feet stuck to the ground, waiting. He’s not going to cross the distance. Not yet.

“I was happy,” Austin continues, quieter. “I wasn’t paying attention to work when I wasn’t at work. I was paying attention to you. Wondering if you would have time to call—if we would meet up, or if we’d get together with everyone else and go out. I even started to ask about plans, so I could know whether I’d get the chance to see you.”

Austin moves closer, almost right in front of Leo. Leo doesn’t breathe. He doesn’t want to interrupt whatever’s happening—whatever conclusion Austin is coming to. It doesn’t feel like what they had before. It seems like he cares, somehow.

“I wanted a break because I was scared. I was scared that I was setting myself up again. That I was trusting someone who didn’t deserve it.”

“Do you? Trust me?” Leo asks, aware of what the answer could be.

If Austin says no, it means they’re still not on the same page. It means Leo can’t say yes to a relationship; he’s not about to be with someone who can’t feel safe with him. If he says yes...

“That’s the problem,” Austin smiles, voice cracking a little. No, Leo thinks, feeling his heart drop. “I already did. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

He’s not sure he’s ever felt a high so complete and immense. It rushes through him, every cell in his body pushed out and replaced by the sensation of all-encompassing joy. He wants to cry and laugh at the same time, yell and whisper.

Austin waits for him to say something, blue eyes uncertain under the knot between his brows. He is stronger than Leo has ever seen him before, standing on his own, facing Leo. Facing his feelings. Leo steps through the last inch between them, already sure of what his answer is, pulling Austin closer. His hand finds its place behind the man’s neck, brushing against soft hair, warmed by body heat.

He doesn’t know what to say. All he knows is how to kiss Austin like they’re all that matters. Even if they’re standing in the back parking lot of the studio, the rush of cars on the overpass to their left, trash rolling by in the gutters, he would still kiss him. He puts all of his hope into it, trying to explain what he feels. That he was just as nervous and just as sacred. When they separate, he breathes in air that is comparatively cold and unfeeling. It’s sharp against the buzzing warmth of his lips.

“I didn’t want to push you,” Leo explains carefully, not willing to move away any further. The night is still too cold. Winter is setting in around them, making everything grey and obsolete, but Austin’s blue eyes anchor him in place. “I wanted a second chance.”

“I know,” Austin says quietly. “I pretended I didn’t, but I knew. If I was honest with myself from the start—”

“Then we wouldn’t have had so much fun,” Leo says, grinning. “And it doesn’t matter. We’re here.”

“We are, aren’t we? How did that happen, anyway? This huge-ass city—”

Leo laughs, pulling Austin in to kiss away the pout on his lips. It isn’t as simple this time—he can feel hands sliding under his jacket, searching for the body bundled under the layers. His laughter dissolves, and all he can do is try to get closer together, fitting legs against each other as they sway in place. It’s so intense he forgets why they’re outside in the first place, where they are, what he’s doing. Everything slides away and he wants to climb into Austin’s clothes, escaping the chilly air and latching onto the heat of the body before him.

Someone wolf whistles and Leo starts, blinking, Austin is reaching up with a gloved hand to cover his mouth. He doesn’t touch his lips, Leo notices, just lets his hand hover there while his cheeks redden.

“I just want to get to my car,” Rowan says wearily, studiously avoiding their eyes as he slips by. Lina follows close behind him, hiding her laughter behind her fingers.

“Good night!” she calls to them, waving as she ducks into Rowan’s car.

“Good night!” Leo yells back, waving. Austin is still ducking his head and hiding his face. “Oh, come on, don’t do that. It’s no use now.”

“I feel like you should be more embarrassed than you are,” Austin says, mock resentment clouding his features.

“They’re not our parents. Anyway, it’s freezing out here—why don’t we go, before we freeze to the parking lot?”

It’s a suggestion. A backwards invite, if he’s being honest, because he doesn’t want to go back to his apartment. Austin peers down at him, a smile twisting its way back onto his lips, and Leo grins. He wants to kiss him again but he reminds himself that it’s too cold, and Austin has a giant bed waiting for them. Hot water, too...

“You just want me for my apartment,” Austin teases, but he’s already turning away to unlock his car. Leo grins madly, practically jogging to the other side of the car.

“But it’s such a nice apartment. I’d sell my soul for an apartment like yours.”

“Or your body?”

“Absolutely not,” Leo says, casually sliding his seatbelt on. He watches Austin pull his gloves off out of the corner of his eye, waiting. “That’s yours.”

Austin misses the ignition slot, his key scraping roughly against the steering column. He looks almost as red as his scarf. Leo bites his tongue, trying not to laugh, and Austin looks over at him reproachfully.

“If you so much as try to distract me while driving—”

“I’m not suicidal. I do want to make it to your apartment. Your bed, ideally, but I’m not picky.”

Austin stares at him for a long minute and Leo smiles, remembering exactly what Austin is. A very different parking lot, a very different time and many more swirling emotions. He almost wants a repeat but he reminds himself that they’re still technically at work and it’s freezing.

“Kinda cold here, babe,” Leo says, rubbing his hands together. “I know you’re excited and all, but don’t rush on my account.”

“You’re insufferable,” Austin mutters, but he’s smiling as he turns the car on.

Austin turns out of the parking lot, quiet, and the low sound of the radio fills the silence. They could probably sit and not say anything. Except Leo doesn’t want to. He needs to know.

“Why did you agree if you didn’t want to have a relationship? If you wanted to stay away?”

“I’m good at ignoring the things I want,” Austin murmurs, “but I’m not good at ignoring you.”

“Austin, that was almost romantic.”

“Shut up,” he says immediately, smiling. He glances at Leo for a moment, indecisive. Whatever he’s conflicted about, he ignores it, deciding instead to talk. “I thought that if I kept things casual, I would figure out that you somehow weren’t enough. That...having sex and not worrying about everything else would help me get over you.”

“You do realize that having sex forges bonds. It doesn’t break them.”

“Oh, be quiet,” Austin huffs. “I was obviously exercising bad judgment. A little too often, where you’re concerned.”

“Oh, Austin—are you saying I’m a bad influence?”

“Absolutely,” the man says without preamble, shaking his head, “but I need that in my life. I work too much.”

“You’re right about that,” Leo agrees, raising his eyebrows. “Which is why I’m going to constantly nag you about spending time together outside of work. No work friends, no work projects—just you and me.”

“Is that a threat?”

“If you say so.”

He finds his hand working its way to Austin’s sleeve, trying to maintain some tiny amount of contact. He feels like an island, untethered and floating. It’s almost as if Austin has pulled him back to himself, giving him something constant to watch from the shore. A promise.

“You know, when I saw Damian, I thought it was over,” Leo muses.

“What?”

“I thought, oh, look, he’s finally found someone he understands. Who understands him. I’d already given up but at that point, I thought I knew it was over.”

“Because of Damian? I hardly know him,” Austin points out, puzzled.

“Yes, but you have one thing in common.”

“You?” Austin asks, unimpressed. He’s smiling.

“Yes, me,” Leo insists. “Me, the human disaster. I break things trying to fix myself, Austin. I thought for sure I’d broken you two together.”

“Leo, for a guy who loves helping others, you’re sometimes very full of yourself,” Austin says, smiling ruefully. “I’m pretty sure Damian doesn’t think about you anymore. And in what universe would it make sense for me to get with the person my ex cheated on me with?”

“It makes sense,” Leo defends, grumpy, but he knows Austin’s right. He feels a little better for having talked about it.

“Sure it does,” Austin says, shaking his head, “It makes as much sense as Lina and Rowan.”

“That’s uncalled for,” Leo says, wrinkling his nose.

“You asked for it.”

“Shut up and drive, Austin. I’m cold and you have a king-sized bed.”