Work passes quickly on Tuesday and then Wednesday looms, sudden and nearly unexpected. Austin barely thinks about his arrangement, save for moments at home when he’s fresh out of the shower or waking up in the middle of the night, embarrassingly hot and bothered.
He’s having problems. Thinking about Leo a little too much. He thinks it’s probably just the after-effects of sex, considering they had three encounters in the span of only a few days. It may also be excitement, he tells himself, about the fact that he finally has access to something stable. As much as he hates to admit it, he likes being able to have regular sex without worrying about what his partner is doing the rest of the time.
Letting go of his emotional connection to someone else seems to be working well. He barely notices that so much time passes without being alone with Leo; they exchange words at work, sometimes chatting over lunch about the project, but he doesn’t feel the need to sit with him for hours at a time.
“How’s it going?” Dean asks one morning, stopping by the project room to talk to the team.
“Really well,” Austin smiles, running a hand through his hair as he pauses his work to talk. “I think we’re right on track, if not ahead.”
“That’s great. Everything working well for you?”
“Absolutely. It’s been a good fit for me, so far.”
“That’s good to hear,” the man says, carefully clapping his shoulder before addressing the room. “I brought in breakfast today, so you can get something from the lounge.”
Austin doesn’t miss the way Lina’s eyes widen comically, her chair immediately turning so that she can send Rowan a silent look, communicating something to him. Dean leaves and Austin listens curiously.
“I thought he gave up,” Lina whispers, as if their boss can hear through walls.
“Yeah, well, we’ve been comfortable for too long. The devil is testing us.”
“What are you talking about?” Austin asks, amused.
“He has the worst taste when it comes to stuff like this,” Lina mutters, glancing out the glass walls, “Dean’s a health nut, so he has no clue what normal people eat.”
“Really? It can’t be that bad—I mean, it’s breakfast. You can’t go wrong,” Austin says, raising an eyebrow. Just as he finishes talking, Leo enters, looking as if he regrets his existence.
“Don’t eat the bagels,” he says, mouth partially full; he holds the offending object in his hand, one bite smaller. He places it in the trash like a bomb, carefully and quietly, covering it with a napkin.
“Told you so,” Lina says.
***
IT TAKES AUSTIN UNTIL Thursday to feel the effects of working late. He’s been looking through work files at home, trying to figure out ways to make everything look better. He feels like he has to go above and beyond on his first project; he just keeps reaching, working, hoping to do something more. Something better.
He wakes up in the morning feeling like a truck ran him over. He realizes he didn’t wake up for his alarm; he knows he’s going to be late. Shit, he thinks, hoping he gets in before Dean. He pulls on his clothes while simultaneously brushing his teeth and starting a travel mug of coffee, focused on getting out of the house as quickly as possible. His skin feels warm and his limbs are slow and clumsy as he moves around the apartment.
He barely steps foot through the door at work in time, still tired and feeling exhaustion cling to his mind. He knows he won’t be much use on the project for another hour, trying to drink his coffee as quickly as possible so that it can kick in.
“Hey. You good?”
“Huh? Yeah,” he says quickly, watching Leo keep pace with him. The man is holding a mug of his own, the scent of something fresh and earthy wafting from it.
“Tea,” Leo smiles, noticing his gaze. “Do you want some?”
“Oh, no, thanks. I need something a bit stronger.”
“Don’t stay up too late, huh? You’re no use to anyone if you’re driving yourself into the ground.”
He takes the suggestion in stride, wondering if it crosses the line of professional, friendly territory or not. He finds that he doesn’t quite care; he’s tired, and Leo is being nice. It doesn’t have to be manipulation. It’s too early for that anyway—Leo’s a night owl.
“Yeah. Thanks,” Austin says, feeling the coffee kick him awake a tiny bit.
He spends most of the day in the project room, nose stuck in front of the computer. He runs the same loops over and over until he sees them behind his closed eyes, exhaustion beckoning him teasingly. Just put your head down for a minute, a tiny voice in his head says, it won’t hurt. You’ll work better if you sleep. He knows he can’t, though, because if he lays his head on the table he’ll be gone. If there’s one thing he learned in college, it was how to sleep anywhere and everywhere.
“Hey, zombie. Take a break.”
Leo smiles down at him, a paper bag in hand, and Austin blinks. The man is holding two drinks. He can’t think of anything to say so he follows Leo into the lounge, blinking in the fluorescent glow. His eyes feel like they’re burning.
“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be blind before,” Austin muses, rubbing at the offending orbs.
“You need to give yourself regular breaks. You know that,” Leo chastises. It’s not rude, though. He’s still smiling, pulling things out of the bag on the table.
“Are those tacos?”
“Yup. Breakfast tacos.”
“It’s—what time is it?” Austin asks, realizing he has no clue. For all he knows, it’s Sunday morning. Leo stares at him, eyes widening minutely. The man leans closer by a fraction and Austin feels his heart pick up.
“It’s the year 2043. You’ve been frozen for several decades—”
“Oh, shut up,” Austin snorts, reaching for one of the tacos, shaking his head.
“It’s two o’clock,” Leo admits, smiling. “Never too late for a breakfast taco, though.”
“You’re just saying that because you got one for free, didn’t you?” Austin smiles, grateful, mouth watering at the smell. He didn’t even realize he was hungry; now, his stomach growls angrily at him.
“Hey, I paid money for these,” Leo snorts, opening a tiny container of salsa. “Anyway, you looked like you needed food. Still do. You’ve got zombie eyes.”
Austin rubs self-consciously at his face, ducking his head to take a bite of the taco. It tastes ridiculously good. He’s suddenly incredibly grateful. That was nice of him, he thinks. He didn’t ask and Austin didn’t tell, yet somehow, Leo still did it.
“I’ve just been trying to get this finished, you know?”
“I know. But you get a little too obsessed sometimes. Not that it’s a bad thing. You just have to remember to eat,” Leo smiles, taking a bite.
Austin nods, absorbing the advice. He’s not sure how to react to Leo’s words. He couldn’t argue that it was true. He does get stubborn about certain things, doggedly following them at the exclusion of all else. It takes a strong hand to get him back on track, reminding him to keep himself functioning in between commitments. He’d always appreciated the way Leo seemed to notice, giving him coffee after meetings in school or pulling him away from textbooks to go on a walk together. Maybe that’s what I missed most of all, he thinks. The little moments in between, when Leo had made sure Austin took time for himself. He wonders, if they had made it longer, if Leo could have taught him to look out for himself on his own.
Probably, he thinks, because after being with Leo for a while, you can’t help but start to see things his way. He has a peculiar habit of rubbing off on other people, either in good mood or freeness of spirit. He’s good at making people feel comfortable with being themselves.
Maybe Austin feels a little better being himself again. He doesn’t have to worry around Leo; they’ve already been through the honeymoon phase, have already learned what the other likes and hates. It’s therapeutic, he thinks, being able to act however he wants when he’s with Leo. He doesn’t even worry about how he looks or whether he’s saying or doing the right things. There’s no reason to.
“You falling asleep? You should take a break before you get back to work,” Leo frowns, passing him a napkin just as he feels oil leak onto his hand from the foil.
“Yeah. I will,” he promises. You can think about catching feelings later, he tells himself, when you’ve actually had sleep.
They finish lunch together, and Austin retreats to the quiet room in the back afterward, setting an alarm on his phone for thirty minutes. He falls asleep almost immediately, dreaming of walks by a pond and the feeling of a breeze against his skin.
He wakes up thinking about the next time they’ll meet, considering being the one to make the call this time. I’m not afraid to, he thinks. It’s almost true.