Tiffany
Painting my nails dark grey, to match my mood, I was listening to Pink Floyd and singing along with every word. After a shit night of sleep, I’d slept through most of the day. Thankfully, I had the night off and planned on staying home to chill. I didn’t feel like hanging out with anyone today. And after last night, I was starting to reconsider making a permanent move here. I could go to New York or California and make it on my own. Nothing was holding me here. Tyler was my friend, and always would be, no matter where I lived.
Kyle meant nothing to me, so there was nothing to keep me in Seattle. We’d been having fun until he became someone else, someone I never would have expected him to be. So often Nix and Bekka mentioned good things about him, but from my side, there was nothing but a big fail to mention. Something had to be wrong with me. Why did I always pick the wrong people to be friends with or date?
Once my nails were done, I laid down on the couch and listened to music while the polish dried. Trying to understand why I cared so much about Kyle had me lost in my thoughts. As an outsider watching Kyle with Nix or Bekka, I saw a guy who played around, joked with them, and acted like a big brother.
So, why is it so hard for him to be that way with me?
Was it all about the sex? Since that night I’d gotten back to town, I hadn’t been with anyone else, but could he say the same? We had clicked. Even Kyle couldn’t deny it. Did I have other feelings for him? No… not really. I didn’t know him well enough to trust him. Yet. Trust didn’t come easy with me. Maybe he’d pushed me away and acted like an arse because he was afraid to feel something toward me. Yeah, that had to be it. He’d pushed me away now, rather than have to feel attraction or interest later. At least that made some sort of sense.
Being friends with him hadn’t seemed such a dead end, but that didn’t work out at all for us. The big problem now was figuring out how I’d be able to hang out with everyone if Kyle and I weren’t on good terms. It seemed impossible, which stressed me out.
For now, I wasn’t going to worry about it. Staying in, relaxing, and watching TV were my sole goals for the day.
Midway through an episode of Outlander, I was interrupted by a series of loud knocks on my door.
“Are you bloody serious?” I groaned after answering the door.
“Wait, hold on. This is my friend Lennox. He’s a cop, so you don’t have to call them. I’m not trying to be an ass here.”
“Seriously? You’re bringing your friend into this?”
“Don’t worry. He’s hopeless, but harmless,” the supposed police officer piped in.
“What do you want, Kyle?”
“I want to say that I’m sorry, and, um—”
“Great. Well, now that you’re done, you can go. Thank you.” I closed the door without giving him a chance to respond, and soon heard his friend laughing on the other side, followed by, “I think you are screwed, Kyle.” I laughed quietly.
Well, at least he’d tried. He did say he was sorry.
With a smile on my lips, and still giggling, I wondered if the guy was a real cop. Maybe, but I’d never seen him before. Even if the moment had made me laugh, I was still angry with Kyle. I hated how my heart jolted with excitement seeing him on the other side of the door frame—it had thrilled me, but then left me bitter.
I returned to my couch and TV, and tried not to think about Kyle too much. Getting lost again in Outlander, thoughts of him were soon replaced by Jamie Fraser’s Scottish charm. I ended up watching half the first season before passing out.
The following day, my laziness continued with the rest of the season.
After way too many hours of lethargy, I put on my shoes and went for a run down by the shore. The sun warmed my back while the miles disappeared beneath my feet. With all the fishing boats, recreational boats, and more, the water had always been fascinating to me.
Toward the end of my run, I went by the Ink Me Tattoo Shop, where I watched Kyle talking with the cop through the window. Spying on him made me feel like a bloody idiot, but I didn’t really care. His life would go on, as would mine. In a couple of hours work would become my reality and chances were good that I would see him there. It’s where the gang hung out.
If only I felt like going back.
I sighed and carried on, slowing my pace to a walk until I got home. On the welcome mat at my door was a small box. While I laughed at the situation, I picked it up and hurried to open it. Inside was a box of protein bars with a pink sticky note on it:
Eat one of these before your morning run. Tomorrow? Text me?
How could I not roll my eyes at this? Could he get cheesier? Still, I unlocked my door with a smile on my face. He was trying again, and not doing too bad.
The next day, there was an Ink Me hoodie waiting on my doorstep for my morning run. Followed by an awkward ride home after my work shift that night. We didn’t talk much; I was exhausted, but did manage a “Thanks.” He smiled.
Kyle brought me coffee the morning after, once he’d asked Nix if I was up. I didn’t want to open the door, but he begged, saying he had French vanilla flavored coffee. My weakness. I couldn’t let him wait any longer, and opened the door. He looked tired, and hadn’t shaved in at least two days. His hair was hidden under a grey beanie.
“Hey, Tiff.” From the hoarseness in his voice, my guess was that he hadn’t had much sleep either.
I tried avoiding his eyes but couldn’t. So many hidden emotions were in them, including flickers of hope. “Hey, Kyle,” I said while twisting my hair to one side, down my shoulders.
“Wow, you’re talking to me.”
I blushed in embarrassment. “Maybe I am.”
“I’m sorry.” Why did he have to be so sheepish?
“Yeah, I figured you were. Maybe I am too.”
“You did no wrong, though.”
Chuckling, I shook my head in disbelief. How could he not remember? “I did, I hit you.” He nodded but didn’t say anything. “Thanks for the coffee, it’s my favorite.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, but I have to head to the shop now. I hadn’t expected you’d actually talk. Maybe I’ll see you again… soon?” He slipped his finger under my chin, startling me as he forced me to look him in the eye, then added, “I want you to know. I’m not a bad guy.”
“I know, K. I know.” I’d never thought he was a bad guy, he’d just acted like an arse. A good guy can have arsehole moments. He’d now made me feel like the villain, but it was too late, he’d left for the shop without me saying anything else, not even bye.
Kyle’s words stayed with me all day. While part of me knew he wasn’t a bad guy, I still didn’t understand why he’d acted the way he had a few days ago. It would bother me until he explained it himself.
That afternoon I went for a run since I’d failed to wake up before sunrise yet again, and so had missed the chance that morning. Donned in my Ink Me hoodie, I did my cooling stretching session in a small park not too far from my place. I loved exercising anyway, but it also helped me keep a clear mind, or so I believed. My mum used to say that when a body was well-taken care of, the mind followed. After a few sets of squats, I’d had enough for the day.
My thoughts still uncertain about settling in Seattle, I decided to give myself another two weeks before settling on what the hell I was going to do. I loved the city, but maybe I didn’t fit in here. Tyler had offered me a place to live, a job, and his friends, and while it meant a lot, it also felt like my current happiness was borrowed. Not my own.
“Hey, girl.”
I recognized Nix’s voice and turned around to face her. She looked beautiful, as usual. No doubt I looked like hell—I hadn’t showered yet and had run several miles.
“Hey! What’s up?”
“Come with me? I’m on a food run for the boys.”
“Hm. Maybe I should go home and shower first.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. You look great. It’s one thing I hate about you. You never look bad,” I teased, and Nix laughed. “I’m sure even after a weeklong hunting trip in the forest with no shower you could pull it off.”
She slid her arm through mine and we kept walking as she threw back, “You have perfect hair, perfect skin, and your eyes are so unique.”
“Okay, you’ve got to stop or it’s going to get awkward.”
Laughing again, she pulled me closer and rested her head on my shoulder. “No, it’s not awkward. Anyway, are you hungry? You should come eat with us. We’re trying that new Thai place.”
“Things with Kyle, things are still… weird, to say the least. I’m not sure it’s a—”
“It is a good idea. Kyle is a nice guy, and the big brother I never had. Just give him time.”
I sighed knowing she wasn’t going to let me get out of this. “Okay, but I’m only going to say hi, and then I’m leaving.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
The food order was ready and waiting for Nix when we walked in. There was more than enough for me, too, but I had no plans to stay and eat. I didn’t know how to be around Kyle. He made me nervous now.
Back at the shop, I hesitated for a few seconds before entering, but realized it was too late to turn around and leave. Following Nix inside, I knew my face was bright red. It wasn’t like me to be so self-conscious, and I hated it.
“Hey, look who I brought with me!”
Of course, she had to draw attention to me when all I wanted was to blend with the paint on the wall.
“Hey, guys.” My eyes drifted to the back of Kyle’s head. It took less than a second before he turned around and our eyes connected, and I waved at him with a smile on my blushed face.
“Hey, Tiff. You hungry?”
I shook my head. “Nah. I just stopped by to say hey. I have to head home to shower and everything.”
“Oh, come on. Eat something, you can leave after,” Kyle insisted as Levi handed me a paper plate to fill with food.
“Nice hoodie, by the way.”
Levi’s comment was the cherry on the cake. My eyes were now avoiding him and Kyle. There was no way he didn’t know about the hoodie, or why I had it. “Thanks. It’s quite comfy to run in.”
Next thing I knew, two strong arms were wrapped around my shoulders and he was whispering in my ear, “It looks great on you.”
“Thank you, Kyle.”
Stepping away from me, he upended his bowl of veggies and noodles and spilled half the contents onto my plate. “Eat. You gotta be hungry after working out.”
“I smell bad, don’t I?”
He started laughing. “No, but your face is all red, so I figured you’d gone for your daily run.”
I nodded. If only he knew my run hadn’t had me in the neighborhood. The thought that I’d been spying on him made my face turn red. Kyle being right next to me was making me feel all sorts of good things.
While we ate, we talked about my future tattoo. Why did the thought of getting tattooed by Kyle feel so intimate? To him, it made no difference whether it was me or another person under his iron; he tattooed people for a living. For me, though, the idea of him inking my skin made me nervous. Getting a tattoo was an intimate experience, and I just didn’t let people that close to me.
“You free tomorrow?” I asked biting the bullet and committing.
He smiled while chewing the last bite of his meal. “Deal, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Great.” Chills ran down my back. There would be no sleeping tonight.
He’s just a mate.
I had to calm down. Besides, I knew better than to leave my guard down and start trusting sexy men.
Remember Pete and Rob? What they did to me, I never saw coming.
Kyle was no exception. He had all the power to hurt me, even if he didn’t know it. He was acting nice to me now, but he could easily destroy the remaining faith in mankind I had.