Tiffany
“I’ll be around the corner,” said Kyle, and I blinked, not okay with him leaving me.
“Kyle, stay.” I couldn’t let him leave like this.
“Babe, I think this is something you have to do on your own.”
Watching him walk away sucked, but I convinced myself that I could face Rob.
Kyle didn’t even look back.
They always do in the movies, but he didn’t. I wanted to shout his name and tell him to wait, but was hoping he’d turn back on his own to help me deal with the cheating arsehole. I’d been certain Kyle would stay by my side and do everything in his power to make Rob go away, but, no, he left me with Rob, without much of a fight.
“Kyle,” I said his name again, but he didn’t hear me.
Now I stood before Rob, my arms crossed over my chest, panicking. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear him out. “Your time is wasting, so you better get talking.” I didn’t care how bitchy I sounded. He’d tried to smile, but at my tone his expression switched to fear. I wasn’t in a kidding mood, at all, if my hooked eyebrow wasn’t a clear enough warning.
“The last time I saw you was… embarrassing, to say the least, and I’m disgusted with myself.”
As you should be, I thought.
“It was your decision to cheat on me, Rob, not the other way around. We were great together, you said you loved me… so, whatever you say now, I won’t believe a word of it,” I declared waving my hand in his face.
“I did love you, do love you, Tiff, and very much want you to believe me. I have no excuse for why I did the things I did, but I regret them immensely.” He gave me his best ‘sorry’ look, but I chose not to fall for it. He’d hurt me, and I wasn’t about to let him hurt me again.
“You don’t know shit about regrets, Robert. You don’t know shit about what you put me through.” I started to cry. “I vowed to never see or talk to you again, so I hate that you’re standing in front of me trying to play fucking Romeo when I was having a perfectly good time with my boyfriend. Didn’t you see that we were walking together, kissing? Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t want you to fuck it all up?” I spat the hateful words. “No, you wouldn’t know because all you think about is yourself. All. The. Bloody. Time!”
“I’m sorry, Tiffany,” Rob mumbled and tried to step closer to me, but I pushed back.
“Don’t say you’re sorry when you have no idea why.” I paused and reflected for a moment over what I was about to say to his sorry face. “That night, when I caught you cheating on me. I’d come home early to tell you I was pregnant.”
His face turned white and fell.
“Surprise.” I gave a half-hearted laugh and then shrugged. “Don’t worry, though. You put me through so much heartbreak and humiliation that I lost it because I couldn’t look after myself. You made my life a fucking nightmare, yet here you are, happy to see me. It’s laughable. You are the return of a fucking disaster to me. So, please, if you don’t mind, I’m going back to the man I love before I waste one more second with you. Fuck you, Robert.”
“Wait, just a minute, please,” he asked looking broken and shocked. My revelation had hit him hard, maybe even harder than a kick to his balls.
“I don’t have that kind of time for you. Forget about me. Why don’t you go back to that girl you were with. She must have provided all the things I apparently couldn’t give you. So, go on, go get her, Romeo.”
“Tiff, I tried to find you. Your parents wouldn’t tell me where you were. They wouldn’t even let me into their house to explain myself. Then, I heard you’d quit work and left the country. I miss you, and I want you back.”
Is he for real?
“Did you hear anything I just said? Do you really think there’s a chance in hell of getting back with me? In case there’s any part of your delusional brain that thinks there is, let me spell it out. No, Rob. I would rather be a Buddhist in the mountains of Nepal than be with you. Do yourself a favor and forget that I exist, because in my head, you’re already dead.” With that, I stormed away, going around the corner to find Kyle.
Except when I got there, he was nowhere to be found.
I looked everywhere. Inside the coffee shop on the corner, the residential building right next to it, and even the restaurant across the street. Every bloody where. Kyle was gone. I took out my phone and called him, but it just rang on and on without being picked up.
“Where are you, babe? I can’t find you. I really need you right now. Please call me back.”
The message I left was desperate; I needed to be with him right now. His nice words, soft lips, everything about him that made me feel better… I needed it all. I could feel the panic building, so tried calling again. How dare he not answer his phone.
“Kyle, call me back. I have to find you.”
My eyes scanned the dark looking for him while I left another message. As soon as I was done talking, I hung up and dialed again. I wouldn’t stop until he picked it up. Call me crazy, I was.
“Why are you doing this to me when I need you the most? Where are you? I won’t go home before I find you.”
I cried like a baby while I walked the streets of London like a hysterical woman. My fingers were shaking as I pressed his number in yet again, and my hate for Rob had reached nuclear. If Kyle left me because of Rob, I would never forgive him. It would be one more thing added to his long list of mischief and wrongdoing.
“Where the hell are you, Kyle? Are you leaving me? Do you think I want him more than I want you?”
I’ve never wanted anyone more than Kyle. He’s my other half, I thought while disconnecting once more. Anger was taking over my emotions despite trying to control myself. I didn’t know what to do. Kyle wouldn’t answer, and I had no idea where he might be. We’d had a lot of beer, him more than me, and my thoughts were a bit blurry, so I could only imagine how he was doing.
I dialed again.
“Kyle, you’re... urgh, I’m so mad at you right now.” My voice broke on each word. Am I overreacting? I had no idea.
I came across a bench and sat down to think about the places we’d been that he might try to go back to. None of them were close, though, and he didn’t know the area all that well.
Kyle bailed on me. I couldn’t believe it even though I tried.
My text alert went off and I rushed to pull up the message box on phone, sighing with relief when I saw it was him. And then I read it.
Go home, clear your mind. I'll meet you tomorrow.
He could text but not answer his damn phone? Oh, hell no.
I called him again and still, he didn’t pick it up. What would I tell my parents if I went home without him? That I had no idea where he was. Yeah, right. We would look stupid and immature, and my father would never give Kyle another chance. Staying out seemed like my only option.
We’d never fought before. I couldn’t say we had now, because he’d just left me, and you need at least two to fight. I was so confused I couldn’t think straight. Picking up my phone again, I decided to text him this time.
Where are you, Kyle? Please tell me, I’m begging you.
Several minutes passed, and still nothing.
I groaned, growing desperate and furious. Retracing my steps to where I’d last seen him before talking to Rob, I hoped he had done the same, but nothing had changed. Except now there was a huge void in my heart and I didn’t know what to think. The night was getting colder; I would need to warm up if I wanted to stay out. Not to mention that a coffee would help get rid of the effect of the alcohol so I could think clearer.
Sitting inside the coffee place and drinking my cup of rich brew, I considered ringing Nix or Val to ask for advice, but I didn’t. I didn’t want people to know there was already trouble in paradise. It was all my fault, I knew that. I should have ignored Rob and continued to walk with Kyle. Such a fun night it had been… right up until it all went crashing down like a bomb.
Unbelievable!
After a while, I calmed down and stopped tearing up every ten seconds. My cup of coffee empty, I sat back and wondered what the hell I was going to do now.
Sometime later, I had no idea how much later as I had been staring at empty space, my phone came to life. Kyle’s name flashed on the screen and my heart bounced in my chest while I answered as fast as I possibly could.
“Where are you?”
“Tiff, I’m sorry. I didn’t… I’m an asshole. I left you with him.”
“Where are you?” I asked again. There was nothing else I wanted to hear right now.
“At a hostel. Can I meet you somewhere? I need to see you.” It sounded like he was crying. Or had been.
“Stay there, just tell me the street name.”
Once he’d given me the address and we’d hung up, I rushed to him as fast as I could. Running across streets at red lights and darting between parked cars, I was mad at him, but needed him more. Although I tried to dry my tears in the process, I was sure all I’d done was smear my make-up all over my face instead.
I found his hostel fast, because he was waiting for me outside. The second I saw him, I ran faster and jumped into his arms. “I’m so mad at you, K.”
“I know, me too. I’m sorry.” He kissed every inch of my face.
Both of us frantic and shaken by the events of our night, we held each other and tried to regain control.
“We should go inside, you’re cold.”
“Why did you leave me with him?” I pressed.
Kyle didn’t answer my question but he enveloped his arms around me. “We’ll talk inside, beautiful. I don’t want you getting sick.”
We entered, the receptionist welcomed us, and Kyle showed me to his room.
“Wow. This is even smaller than my studio.”
“I didn’t really care about the size of the room.”
“Right, this isn’t a honeymoon.”
“No, it’s a fucking nightmare, and I fucked up.” He ran his hands through his thick hair, dishevelling the dark locks. “I didn’t want to leave you with him, but I thought about Cassidy—”
I gasped, and he raised a hand.
“Let me finish, Tiff. I thought of Cassi and how I wished I could’ve had one last talk with her. He was looking at you with so much… I don’t know what got to me, but I thought he deserved to talk to you one last time.” He kneeled on the carpeted floor before me, lost and exhausted. “I was going to come back to you but your back was turned to me so I thought you didn’t want me to intervene. I should have interrupted anyway, and fought to have you back with me. Did– did he hurt you? What happened?”
Chuckling at the memory of my revelation, I was pretty sure Rob wouldn’t sleep for a couple of days. “He didn’t hurt me. I probably hurt him, though. I played dirty. I told him about the baby, and the miscarriage. I acted like a total bitch, too.”
“I don’t believe you could ever be a bitch… even if you really wanted to.”
“Don’t downplay it, Kyle. What I threw in his face tonight was devastating news, and I did it like a bitch. I don’t ever want to see him again. Regardless, I’m sure he’ll do everything to avoid me now anyway.”
“Good. I’m sorry I didn’t stay with you. None of this would have happened if I had. I acted like a coward.” I kneeled beside him wanting proximity. “We’ve never fought before… never like that.”
“I know. I was so mad at you for leaving me alone with Rob. Even madder when you disappeared. I didn’t know what to think when you wouldn’t pick up your damn phone.” I started crying again. “That’s not the Kyle I know. The Kyle I know would’ve stayed with me. What happened to you?”
“Bad decisions, lots of them. All I can say is that I’m sorry.” His eyes closed for a short instant and I saw his chest react like he’d been punched. “I feel like all the promises I’ve made to you were broken tonight. In the future, I mean starting now, I’ll be a better man. Oh, I also promise next time I see Rob, I’m kicking his ass.”
“I’m pretty sure what I told him felt like a beating, so we’re okay for tonight.” I shrugged. “Besides, not all promises were broken. You never promised to stick by me if we ever met Rob. I should’ve told you to stay. Just don’t ever disappear on me again.” My heart wouldn’t be able to deal with this a second time. I’d thought I lost him.
“I promise I won’t.” A soft whisper came out of his lips. “Come here, I want to kiss you. If you’ll let me?”
As if I wouldn’t kiss you, Kyle-the-perfect-smoocher, I thought. Mad or not, I would never say no to him.
“I want you to kiss me. After we move to the bed, because I’m not planning on stopping after one kiss.” What better way to make up for the shitty argument we’d just had thanks to my cheating arsehole of an ex-boyfriend?
Kyle helped me up, and then didn’t hesitate in removing my clothes while we made out. We had to make peace properly, after all.
“Your skin is cold.”
“And you’re hot. Warm me?”
Oh, and did he ever. Kyle did so much more than warming me up, in fact.
We turned into a blazing wildfire.