Kyle
I was waiting outside the women’s bathroom, and could hear another dancer talking to Cassi. My girl had been sick for two days now, vomiting up everything she’d eaten. I’d never seen her so nervous, and it was scaring me, to be honest. In general, she handled auditions well, so hearing her hurl for the past twenty minutes wasn’t sitting well with me. My place was with her, holding her hair and rubbing her back when she was ill. Not out in the fucking hall where I couldn’t do anything to save her from her hell.
Knocking on the door, I called out, “Cassidy, can I come in?”
“I’m on my way out now. Give me two seconds,” came her reply.
My arms wrapped around her as soon as she exited. Thank God. I’d had enough impatient waiting for one day. The rims of her eyes reminded me of when we’d both had the stomach flu. It was clear she had cried from puking so hard.
“Kyle, I have to talk to you.”
“I’m right here, baby.”
She glanced behind me then nodded toward a free wooden bench while taking my hand in hers. “We should sit.”
A cold wave of anxiety ran down my spine, making my hands clammy and my knees shake as she guided me to the bench. Is she okay? Is her health okay? The feeling inside me made me fear what was coming. I could see it in her eyes, could feel it in her shaky hand. Something terrible was going to come out of that beautiful mouth of hers. My anxiety grew bigger with every breath.
“Why do I have the feeling that something is about to crash on us? Like a plane, or the Universe…”
“Sit, Kyle.” She was waiting for me to sit, so I fucking sat, but never looked away from her because I was afraid we would disappear or that she’d slip through my fingers if I did. “Do you know what this audition is for?”
“Not really. Another show, I guess.”
She nodded, tears in her eyes. “Yes. But this one will run for a year, in Vegas.”
Pounding inside my ribs, my heart twisted with pain. Being away from her wasn’t an option, but stopping her from reaching her dreams wasn’t either. “Okay. We… we’ll figure it out.”
“There is something else, Kyle. I– I… think I might be pregnant.”
My heart twisted so hard in my chest, it felt like my blood had stopped circulating. Pregnant? Shit. Okay, just breathe, Kyle. “This could be a good thing. I mean… do you want to keep it, if you are pregnant?”
Crying harder, she nodded and swung her arms around my shoulders to pull my unresponsive body against hers. All kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. What about her career? Her dreams? A baby? Oh, my god. Little by little, as I worked through my melodrama, I wrapped my arms around her body and imagined what she would feel like against me with a baby bump. “Your career, Cassi? What about your dreams?”
“This, us as a family, is my real dream. Dancing is what I do. It’s my job, that’s all. You, Kyle, are my dream, and what I can’t live without.”
“What about the audition, babe?”
“You know what? Screw it. I want that big ass piece of chocolate cake.”
My face nestled in her neck, I tried to wake up from my dream. Can this be real? Am I about to become a father? Thoughts rushed at me, and unable to control the tears, I cried like a baby while holding my girlfriend and kissing her because I couldn’t speak anymore. Right then, I could only show her how much I loved her.
“We still need to make sure before we get all excited.” She laughed.
Right, stop crying, man. A new list of questions invaded my brain. Why does she think she’s pregnant? Is she late? Was the vomiting a sign? “Tell me. When did you start figuring out you might be pregnant?”
Before answering me, she dried my tears with her black top. Her lucky one. The one she wore to every audition. “I’m late. At first, I thought it was because of all the hours I’ve been putting into my training, but then I realized there were other signs, too. I’ve been so tired, and hungrier than I normally am. Plus, my breasts are swollen.” Chuckling, she raised her eyes to mine, and she seemed shy. “I’m not a hundred percent sure I am, but I think the chances are good.”
“I didn’t expect this today, but it makes me so happy. Can we get a pregnancy test, or should you go get a blood test? I don’t know what we do now.”
She tightened her grip on me, pulling me as close as possible. The blue of her eyes burned into mine as she professed, “I love you, Kyle. This is one of the most beautiful days of my life.” Cassidy leaned toward me until our faces were less than an inch apart and I could feel her breath dancing on my skin. We stayed that way longer than I thought we would, the realization there might be a little person growing in her small belly lingering between us.
Call me a pussy, but it was a beautiful moment. One I would never forget. When we were old and wrinkled, we’d remember this moment… and so many more.
“Let’s get out of here, if you’re sure this is what you really want?”
“Come on.” Cassidy spanked my ass, then added, “I’m hungry.” So was I, but not for food.
“First, we get a test, and then we’ll grab food on the way home after.” I needed to see this for myself. Get some sort of proof so I’d know I hadn’t dreamt the past five minutes.
We got outside before I noticed Cassidy was still wearing her pointe shoes and ballet outfit. Who cared, though? Right? News of the baby, and the possibility that we’d become parents in about nine months, had me in a happy daze. Everything else was pushed away, because it didn’t matter anymore. I didn’t care what we were wearing or how we looked, I was happy with what we were, but Cassi wanted to change her shoes. Knowing how uncomfortable those things were, we made a quick stop for her. Once she’d changed into her sneakers we scurried, like happy fools, to the store to buy a test.
Holding the bag from the store in my left hand and her hand in the other, we were silent on our walk home. Things had gotten real now that we’d bought the test. Well, two tests. The pharmacist said we didn’t have to wait until morning to use it, which I thanked God for, because I could barely wait long enough for us to get home.
“Kyle…” Her voice stopped me mid-step on the stairs.
“Yes, babe.”
“I’m nervous. I’ve never been this nervous. I feel like I’m going to be sick again.” She closed the distance, allowing the connection between us to grow stronger.
“You won’t be sick. Whatever happens upstairs, we’re in this together. I’ll never leave you. We’re solid. You’re my soul mate, Cassi. If you’re pregnant, we’ll just have to trust life and work hard until the baby is born. We’ll be fine, babe. And if it isn’t happening now, then we’ll better know what to expect next time.”
“Okay, let’s do this.” She took over and unlocked our door before walking straight to the bathroom, not wasting any time. “Give me a second for the pee thing.”
“Come on, I’ve seen you pee before.” I laughed
She rolled her eyes. “I know, but this is different. You can come in, just don’t look.”
“Fine. Whatever, silly.” I stood over in the opposite corner chuckling at her nonsense. Of course, I sort of understood her point, as she had to pee on both sticks, but I’d watched her do more unconventional things. Because I was a good boyfriend, I did as told and avoided watching her, though.
“Okay, that’s done. Now, we have to wait.”
I turned around to see her placing the tests on the small bathroom counter. Wanting to distract us both from the waiting, I gripped each side of her face with my hands and moved toward her until I collided with her mouth. Her lips were soft and warm, inviting me to kiss them. She clutched the back of my shirt while responding to my kiss. It felt like we couldn’t get close enough to each other. We were in the middle of one of the best moments a couple could wish for.
Is she or isn’t she pregnant?
I wanted to know, but didn’t want to part with her lips yet. They were my happy place; kissing her had always been a thing I loved with Cassidy, but also, every word which passed those lips gave me hope for a good life. She made me believe I could be someone worthy. As long as we were together, I had no fear. Happiness was my only state of mind.
“It’s time, babe. We should look together,” she said squeezing my hand in hers.
Because the tests were closer to me, I looked first, then gulped. “Positive. I think they’re positive.”
Cassi blinked at me in disbelief, then checked for herself. “Oh, my goodness. I really am pregnant.” Right away, her eyes filled with tears as a smile laced her face. “I’m so happy, Kyle. We’re going to have a baby. Someone we’ve created is growing inside of me.”
“I know, babe, I know. I’ve never seen you so happy, or emotional. God, I love you, Cassidy.”
She cupped my cheeks then kissed over my face. “I love you so much, Kyle. And as long as I have you in my life, I know I’ll be happy.”
Our first baby was coming sooner than we’d planned, but that was life! Always expect the unexpected. This was how my life had always been.
Cassidy came from a loving family. Her parents were happily married, the funniest couple I’d ever met, and had good stable jobs. Meanwhile, I hadn’t seen my father in five years and my mom struggled to live a normal life. A life where the bills were paid but little money was left for the little pleasures. We invited her to dinner once a month, which she loved, and she got along great with Cassidy. Since I’ve known Cassidy for a long time, my mom was used to seeing her around. When she and I got together, they clicked. For my mother, Cassidy was like her own daughter. Mom loved her every bit as much as she loved me.
With so much love surrounding us, our baby would be treasured and cared for without a doubt.
Her hands reached under my shirt, wrapping around my waist. A warming sensation, from her skin against mine, spread throughout my body sending my thoughts straight to sex. What can I say? Sex with her had to be my biggest addiction, other than tattoos, of course.
“K, can we keep this between us?” She kissed me again. “Let’s wait until the twelve week to tell anyone. I’ve heard that’s what people do. Just in case.”
“Yeah, babe, that’s fine.” Breathless and riled up, I pressed her against my chest then dug under her clothes, seeking her skin. The need to feel her muscles tighten underneath my adventurous hands led me to hungrier caresses and clothes being thrown on the floor.
Everything happened so fast that, before we knew what was going on, we were stood naked, breathless, and powerless in each other’s presence. The craving which pulled us together, also controlled our hunger and will. I couldn’t stop touching her, loving her, or kissing those lips. I kept at it while her body was flush with mine. Her breathing was heavy, her touches were grabby. Had we ever kissed with such intensity? Loved each other with so much praise? I couldn’t remember it ever being so… surreal. There was one thing I did know—I didn’t want to stop. Not now, not ever. This day had to be the best of my life, and in this moment our lovemaking was meant to be the hottest, most passionate we’d ever had. She deserved it. I wanted to give it all to her, for making me this joyful, and for giving me a future.
We made love on a towel, on the cold tile floor. We could have moved to the bedroom, but after the meaningful discovery we’d made here, we stayed, and it turned out to be freaking perfect. Raw, honest, us… it was everything we both needed.
“This was so perfect,” she whispered when I lifted Cassidy into the bath afterward. The water was running, and I’d added some of her favorite bubble bath.
“Relax here. I’m going to go get you that big fat piece of cake, and something on the side.”
She laughed, and it made me feel complete. Never, in all the years we’d spent together, had she been needy, complicated, or frustrating. Cassidy was a simple girl. Someone who was easy to please. First and foremost, she was someone I’d never stop loving.
I walked outside into the cold, and felt it in my lungs. While it didn’t ruin my mood—nothing could right now—I wanted to get back inside again and warm up as soon as possible, so started walking with purpose. A few minutes later, the ring of my phone startled me and I stopped to check the caller ID.
“Hey, Levi. What’s up?”
“Hey, K. Not much. I started working with my dad not too long ago.”
“Cool. We need to hang out soon, and catch up.”
“We definitely should. It has been a while. With finals and working full time, I’ve been really shitty with my social life. Did you get your real estate license yet?”
“Still working on it. For now, I’m still tattooing on the side to make ends meet. Until I can have my career, you know?”
“You’ll be good at it, I know you will. You’ve always been good with people.”
Smiling like an idiot, it felt good to hear him say that. His opinion mattered to me. “Thanks, man. It means a lot.”
“No problem, Kyle. Whatever you need, I’m here. Hey, I have to get going for now. How about we do something next weekend?”
“Absolutely, I’ll call you,” I promised then hung up right as I entered the bakery.
Surveying the menu, I ordered Cassidy her cake, plus roast beef sandwiches with side salads for both of us. Sounded delicious to me. I hurried back home to find her passed out from exhaustion in the tub. I took the moment to watch her, to memorize her beauty in my mind because I knew moments like these were important. My mom kept telling me to enjoy the good moments in life, because she’d lost everything with my dad’s abrupt departure. So, I made sure to follow that rule every damn day of my life.