Tiffany
Packing for the trip home was nerve-wracking. Mum expected us to be there in the morning and Kyle was acting as if this were no big deal. He’d thrown a bunch of t-shirts, underwear, and jeans into the suitcase in ten minutes, and he was done. I’d been at it for at least two hours and was beyond frustrated. He had to be nervous, though, because I sure as fuck was.
Halfway through my checklist, I decided it was time for a break. Kyle had gone to the shop today because one of his long-time regulars had begged. Of course, he agreed, because Kyle loved his job—and I’d told him to go. Wandering around the apartment, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. In an attempt to force myself to relax, I repeated in my mind: You’re just going home. It’s no big deal.
But what if I see Rob?
I wasn’t so worried about bumping into Pete, a hundred percent sure he didn’t want to see me. Plus, I was sure he would run away if he ever saw me because I would have his ass arrested if I could. He’d pulled a dick move sending me to the wolves.
Girl time would be perfect! I needed to think about something else or I was going to end up too mortified to go home.
Nix answered the phone almost singing when I rang her; she had such a melodic voice. “Hey, Tiff. What’s up?”
“Are you busy?”
“No, why?”
“Any chance you want to grab a coffee or an ice cream? I need some fresh air.”
“I was actually about to get some lunch and head over to Ink Me. Want to come with?”
“Perfect, I’ll be at your place in ten.”
She stayed quiet long enough for me to wonder if she was still on the line before asking, “Are you okay?”
“I am. I just need to calm down. Packing for London is stressing me out.” Why it was stressing me out, I didn’t know. Maybe it had to do with mixing my new life with my old life. Yes, that could be it without question.
“Okay, see you in a few, then.”
I fixed my hair real quick, grabbed my purse, and headed outside for the first time today. Over the past couple of days I’d become a hermit, which had to change. I’d gone outside with Kyle for walks, and to the club the other night, but that was it. His place could be why I stayed inside, though. It was too comfortable.
Walking fast to Nix’s place was refreshing, and I felt the difference right away. Some of my stress had diminished, and my back and neck muscles were less tense. Kyle was right, I needed fresh air. Chuckling, I turned the corner and found Nix waiting for me outside her apartment. She ran up and gave me a tight hug with curls in her hair and her make-up on. I had to say married life agreed with her.
“I’m happy you called. I don’t see you enough these days. When will you be back to work?”
“After the trip to London. I can’t wait. Not that I don’t like spending all my time with Kyle, because I love it, but work is a good distraction and I get to see my friends, you know?”
“I understand completely.” She hooked her arm in mine. “Why are you stressing over your trip back home?”
I sighed, not certain what to say.
“Do you have something back home you don’t want Kyle to find out about?”
I shook my head. “He knows everything, I haven’t kept any secrets from him. There’s something wrong with me, I swear.”
Chuckling, she pulled my arm closer to hers. “No, silly. You’re just nervous, which is normal. Now, chill out, and tell me how it’s been going with Kyle,” she ordered.
We kept chatting as we walked, until we reached the guy’s favorite sandwich bar and Nix pulled me inside to order some food.
“They’re lucky to have us, it seems like we are always the ones bringing them food,” Nix said with a laugh.
“Hey, Nix, the usual?” asked the employee behind the counter.
“Yeah, but make it double today.” She turned to me. “You gotta feed your man, too.”
“You have a point. I hadn’t thought about it. Guess I should take notes from you to get better at this girlfriend thing.”
“You’ll get used to it. I’m very excited for you and Kyle. He’s a good man, and you’ve changed him. For the better.” She winked then gave me a quick hug. “That’s what Levi said. Kyle never took a day off from work unless it was something really important, or the anniversary of Cassidy’s passing. He’s always a mess on that day. Val was there with him the last time. It wasn’t pretty.”
I nodded, not sure what to say.
“Anyway,” she chirped, “you bring something good to his life, and I can see that he does the same for you.”
“He does. Kyle’s a real gentleman.” I blushed thinking of him. “I never expected this when I moved back here.”
“Look, as you may know, I don’t talk to my mom or stepfather anymore. They built their lives under some inhuman presumptions, and preferred to cut me out of their life rather than accept me and Levi with our lifestyles. It used to hurt me, but now, I accept their decision. It’s their loss. Levi does everything he can to make me happy, and I’m proud to be his wife. He’s so much more than a bum with tattoos, which was all Mom saw when she met him. She never gave him a chance. He could’ve brought so much to my family, but we’ll never find out, and that’s okay.”
Her story was making my eyes tear up, and I nodded again.
“You’re lucky to have both of your parents in your life. Trust that Kyle will show them how much he loves you. Under his inked armor, there is a beautiful man dying for you to let him in. Just think about it, okay?”
I hated that she was right. Letting him in was something I had been working on daily. I told him I loved him and tried to show him every chance I could, but letting him all the way inside, with my past and my family, felt huge. It didn’t mean I loved him any less, though. Kyle was everything to me.
Once we’d paid for the food, we took to the pavement again and continued our pleasant walk.
Sighing, I looked at her as she gave me a compassionate smile. “I know, it’s ridiculous. I really want him to come with me. My fear is… I don’t know. It just scares me.”
“Hey, girls!” Val was covering the front of the shop when we got there. We waved and hurried to her side.
“Happy to see you. I don’t see you enough.” Kissing her cheek, I felt big, strong arms wrap around me from behind. “Kyle, babe,” I squealed; my feet were no longer touching the ground. He was twirling me in the air so that I faced him.
“Hey, beautiful. Missing me?” He kissed my lips before setting me down on my feet.
“Aren’t you supposed to be working? Where’s your client?”
“I am, but even big guys need a break. He’s taking ten for a smoke and drink.” His fingers slid against mine, entwining with them. “Did you get your packing done?”
“Almost.” I shied away.
“It’s just a trip home, Tiff, you don’t need to be this stressed out.”
I knew that, which is why I was starting to believe I had issues. Serious issues.
“Hello, ladies,” Levi joined us then, distracting us. “Nix, do you have food? I’m wasting away over here.”
We all laughed. Levi could be such a drama queen when it came to his food. Nix handed him his bag and I gave mine to Kyle.
“I have to keep you fed, too. Nix said so.”
“Man, perfect timing! You’re the best, Tiff, really.” He tore into the bag and started eating.
For the next several minutes there was nothing but the sound of chewing. I managed to get a few bites off his sandwich and some of his brownie, enough to quell my hunger, before the food vanished.
“Thank you, beautiful. Just wait, I’ll marry you someday.”
“Someday? Why not now?” I teased, but then he looked at me all serious and I felt my heart catch in my throat.
“I would in a heartbeat. Should we fly to Vegas before London?”
“Whoa, wow... Hold on a sec, lovebirds,” Levi got our attention. “I better be the best man.”
“You interrupted our moment for that? Of course, you will be, whipped boy.”
Caught up in the moment, my mind was running wild. Yes, I want to marry him. Levi was talking about vultures in the background and Kyle was telling him to shut up. The girls laughed at their exchange. The words marry you someday kept flashing in my mind like a strobe light. I was brought back to reality by a pair of hands cupping my cheeks.
“I’m right here, beautiful.” Kyle tried to comfort me, confusing my emotions for something unwanted.
“I want to, Kyle.”
His eyes dropped to his feet. “You don’t have to say it, Tiff. It’s okay.”
“No, I really want to. I would say yes. If you asked.”
His body loosened and I could swear there was a smile on his face, but it disappeared after a nanosecond. “I trust you, beautiful. I love you,” he murmured then stared into my eyes for the longest time. “When the time is right, okay?”
I nodded, not sure what he meant. It took me a second to figure out the reason he kept looking at me and gauging me for a reaction. Of course, right. Wake up, Tiffany. It might’ve felt like a long time had passed, but in the grand scheme of things, we’d just gotten together.
“I… I should get back and finish packing. You need to finish eating, and get back to work, because we’re leaving soon.” Of all the emotions I could’ve been enjoying right then, why did it have to be panic? “I’ll see you later, yeah?” Standing on tiptoe to meet his lips, I kissed him, waved at the others watching us, and then disappeared.
Grateful for the cool air, I sucked in a lungful and waited for my head to clear. For a moment, I would have married him right then and there. I wanted to, too, deep in my heart and bones. Am I rushing him? Does he want me to step back? I wondered as I began walking and considering his words. “When the time is right, okay?”
When I reached Kyle’s apartment, I broke down in tears as I yelled at the door, “What a fucking day!”
If I didn’t get my shit together, I was going to ruin this trip and my relationship with Kyle. My thoughts were still up and down, and I was emotionally drained. I did love Kyle, at least I was a hundred percent sure of that.
Tackling my luggage again, I removed the little black dress and red heels I’d packed. I’d never worn anything like that before in London, so, why would I now? Next, all the fancy clothes came out of the suitcase in exchange for items I’d actually need. Our trip to London was for me to reconcile with my family, to show them how happy I was—not partying, clubbing, or showing off. That wasn’t me, and Kyle wanted me for who I was. He loved the real me, so I had no reason to try and be someone I wasn’t. Showing my family a false cover would be wrong, too, they also needed to see I was still the same.
It was time to stop playing games and be myself. Everything would be fine that way. Nobody’s life is perfect and I had nothing to prove to anyone. Kyle loved me, that wouldn’t change after a visit to my parent’s house.
Inviting your boyfriend over to meet your parents is normal, I repeated to myself for the last time today. Calm the bloody hell down. It’s just family. What could go wrong?
Done with packing—at last—I turned everything off and unplugged the minor appliances, and then cleaned every surface as best I could. Kyle would be on his way since our flight was scheduled to leave in a little over three hours. Hearing footsteps outside the door, I sighed in relief and then smiled at the sight of him when he entered.
“Hey, babe.”
“Come here.” He dropped his backpack and keys on the floor, the look on his face speaking a thousand words. “Come here,” he repeated.
I met him at the door and before anything could be said, his arms had enveloped me and he was kissing me everywhere—my neck, cheeks, nose, and lastly, my lips. For a very long time. Each second easing the roller coaster of emotions I’d suffered today.
“I meant what I said today, and I promise you it will happen. Someday.”
“You don’t have to promise me anything. I know how you feel about me. I feel the same. That’s enough for now.”
He nudged my nose with his. “For now.” Spotting our luggage by the door and smiling, he said, “I have something for you before we go.”
A gift, for me?
Kyle took a small item from his pocket—it fit inside his folded palm—then sucked in a breath. “I hope you agree to this. Val and Nix thought you would, so, here goes.” He reached for my right hand.
It’s not the left, I noticed.
Guiding my hand, he flattened it against his heart. “This is a way for me to show you that my intentions are honorable. I’m not fooling around, I’m with you because I love you and care for you. I’ve noticed how much me going home with you means to you, but I can see it worries you too. So, this is my promise that no matter what happens in London, I won’t change my mind about us or my feelings for you.”
While my pulse pounded a hole in my head, my hands started shaking.
“Please take this ring, a gift for you in the name of my love,” he said, then slid a band onto my finger without ever blinking, looking away, or breaking the trance between us. “I love you, Tiffany. We might as well be married at this point, it wouldn’t make a difference. My feelings for you can only grow stronger.”
Glancing down at the simple circle of rose gold on my finger, I asked myself what I’d done to deserve him, and then decided I had suffered enough in my life. It was time to jump right into living with no regrets.
I looked up, and smiled.