Chapter 6

Nox

 

August 2018

 

I’m trembling from head to toe as I stand on the sidewalk across the street from the small tattoo parlor. Heathens Ink.

What am I doing here? This is such a huge mistake. Did I really think coming here to beg Adam for an apprenticeship was a good idea? My stomach dances with nerves as I try to swallow down the fear.

You have to at least try. I chant in my mind, clutching my sketchbook close to my chest. What’s the worst that can happen? He could tell me no. I don’t have anything now, so I won’t be any worse off than I am right this second. But, you’ll have been rejected by him. The small voice in the back of my mind taunts.

I take another deep breath and pull my shoulders back, forcing myself to appear confident. Fake it ‘til you make it, and all that shit.

I speed walk across the street and push through the door before I can take another second to talk myself out of it. The tinkling sound of the bell over the door makes my mouth go dry. What the fuck am I doing here?

I’m about to turn around and walk right back out when the man behind the counter looks up from the computer, his gaze coming to rest directly on me. I feel the heat creep into my cheeks, but I ignore it and push my shoulders back again. I walk straight to the counter, and as soon as I’m standing directly in front of him... my mind goes blank.

It’s him. My stomach flutters and my heart pounds out an erratic rhythm in my chest. The trembling worsens to the point that I’m sure he can tell.

I take a second to catalogue his features. His chestnut hair is long and messy, like he simply rolled out of bed and came to work. He has a silver barbell through his left eyebrow, as well as small gauges in each ear.  His emerald eyes penetrate me as he takes me in as well.

Crap, I’ve been standing here staring at him for god knows how long. I clear my throat and force words past my lips.

“Are you the owner?” Of course it is. I’d know him anywhere. I downloaded that picture he sent and looked at it every time I thought about relapsing. He was my strength. He was my reason to do better, be better, hope for more.

He nods and his lips quirk up in a friendly, yet professional, smile.

“Yeah, Adam,” he says offering his hand.  “Are you here for some ink?”

I give a small shake of my head and slide my portfolio onto the desk.

“I’m here for a job.”

He eyes me curiously for several seconds before reaching for my portfolio and pulling it toward himself.

“I’ve never tattooed before, but I think my artwork speaks for itself,” I offer with feigned confidence.

He flips my portfolio open and I hold my breath as he begins to peruse it. I’ve never let anyone see my art before, except for my counselor in rehab...and the one time I sent Adam a picture of two of my drawings. It’s a bit like standing naked in front of him, to have him viewing my art. No, this is more nerve wracking than standing naked. Hell, I sold my ass for a while to pay for my addiction, I feel more vulnerable in this moment than I ever did then.

“These are good,” He says, continuing to flip. My heart flutters with nervous hope as he pauses on the colorful phoenix drawing. “These are really damn good.”

He closes the book and looks up at me speculatively. I clench my fists to hide the shaking in my hands and I hold my breath, awaiting his judgement. Then, his gaze lands on my arms and I can only imagine what he must be thinking as he takes in my old track marks and the careful, even scarring of cuts that were clearly intentional, and then the rough, raised skin where my flesh was nearly melted away.

“I’m clean,” I blurt in a hurry.

I know most people don’t want to take a chance on a former junkie, but I need this so fucking badly. Adam nods slowly and meets my eyes. When he does his lips part in surprise and his brows furrow.

He blinks and shakes his head slightly, like he’s trying to clear his thoughts.

“Alright, here’s the deal. I’ll give you an apprenticeship. You’ll also run the front desk and do some cleaning around the shop several hours a week that I’ll pay you for. If I have any reason whatsoever to believe you’re using, you’re out. Got it?”

I nod enthusiastically and smile.

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Okay, I’ll see you back here tomorrow at nine in the morning and we’ll get your employment paperwork taken care of.”

“I can’t thank you enough, you have no idea what this means to me.”

“Wait,” He calls out. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“Lennox, you can call me Nox.”

“Nox” He repeats. My name on his lips sends a small shiver down my spine.

“Good night, Adam.”

“Night, Nox.”

 

Adam

I can’t tear my eyes away from Nox until he disappears out of sight, leaving my brain spinning like tires trying to gain traction on an icy road.

A recovering junkie with a beautiful phoenix drawing in his portfolio. It can’t be him, but still it feels like fate.

The second I laid eyes on him it had felt like an electric volt going through my body. He’s the most beautifully broken man I’ve ever seen in my life.

“You know, you don't have to adopt every gay drug addict who walks in off the street and gives you puppy dog eyes,” Gage says, startling me out of my musings.

“Oh, please, Dad! I promise to feed him and walk him. I'll clean up after him when he makes messes,” I mock plead.

“You joke, but you know that's exactly what's going to end up happening.”

I frown, annoyed at Gages condemnation.

“At the end of the day it doesn't matter if you approve or not. It's my shop, my decision.”

“That's right, it's your world and we're all just living in it.” Gage storms toward his work station and I follow him.

“You know that's not what I meant. I lost my fucking brother and if helping strangers is how I need to deal with that then back the fuck off and let me deal with it.” I snap, hands shaking with pent up rage.

“That's the problem, you act like you're the only one who lost Johnny. When he died he took my goddamn heart with him. And you parading guys through here to replace him doesn't help,” Gage shouts before whirling around knocking his sketchbook to the floor to relieve tension.

“I’m sorry,” my voice softens. “I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m just doing my best to cope.”

“I know, I’m sorry, too.” Gage’s shoulders sag, his eyes meeting mine with hesitation.

“Come here, asshole.” I pull him into a hug and clap him on his back. “Let’s close up and go home.”

Gage nods in agreement and we set about our closing routine.

I don’t know if I would’ve been able to build Heathens Ink to where it is today if it hadn’t been for Gage. Only a year after Johnny’s death Gage was hardly functional, but when I told him there was an opportunity to buy this building for way under market value and open the tattoo shop I’d always dreamed of, he was all in.

He threw himself into helping me with everything that went into renovating and getting Heathens off the ground. He was there with me building up our client base from the ground up. He was there for me when I was sure this whole stupid dream couldn’t have been a bigger mistake. He’s as much a brother to me as Johnny was.

As I head out the front door for the night there’s a strange fluttering in the pit of my stomach that I can only place as excited nerves. It can’t possibly have anything to do with looking forward to seeing more of my new apprentice. Absolutely not.

 

Nox

I stand in front of the mirror in my motel room and take in my outfit one last time. I hardly slept last night, too excited about starting my first respectable job today. The idea of being around Adam all day didn’t help either. I know I shouldn’t want him. And, I’m sure he has a beautiful, perfect girlfriend, or boyfriend, who’s never had a heroin addiction or had sex for money. But, that doesn’t stop me from hoping, just a little, that maybe one day…

I hardly recognize myself anymore, in a good way.

After the … incident, I woke up in the hospital after a two week long medically induced coma. I had second and third degree burns on my forearms, stomach and chest. Apparently I’d had the wherewithal to roll over and smother the flames and someone had the conscience to call an ambulance. No one had the balls to name Harrison, though. The story told by everyone questioned was that I was so high I accidentally lit myself on fire. With only my own drug clouded version of events Harrison walked free.

The one good thing that came out of it was during my medically induced coma, during which time they began to treat my burns, I was also fortunate enough to bypass the worst of detoxing.

When I walked out of the hospital a few months later, after several skin grafts, I walked right into a rehab center to make sure I wouldn’t slip back into my old ways.

Now here I am: out of rehab and clean for the first time since I was fourteen. I have a job and the possibility of a future in front of me. And I owe it to Adam, but he doesn’t even know it. There’s no doubt in my mind I would’ve taken my own life, or let Harrison do it for me, if Adam hadn’t befriended me and pulled me out of the darkness.

My skin has a healthy glow I’ve never seen before, my hair is no longer dull and limp. And, there’s life in my eyes I hardly recognize. This is my new beginning.

“You can do this. Compared to everything else you’ve gone through this is fucking cake,” I tell my reflection sternly before heading out to face my first day.

 

Adam

I drum my fingers against the desk in my office trying to place the root of the restless energy coursing through me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t gotten laid in ages. In fact, the last person I fucked around with was Kira and that was...holy god, that was a goddamn year ago.

My mind wanders to Phoenix. I never heard from him again and I can only imagine what that must mean. My stomach twists at the thought of it. Yet another person I failed to save. It’s like letting Johnny down all over again.

A light knock on my door pulls me out of my thoughts.

The door creaks open and the lust that courses through me, seeing Nox for a second time, is like a punch in the gut.

A shy smile plays at the corners of his lips and has me instantly hard as granite.

I gesture for him to come in, clearing my throat and shifting in my seat.

“Is this a bad time?” he asks, glancing between me and the door. I take a deep breath and try to relax the tension coursing through my body.

“No, this is fine.”

I slide the employment paperwork toward him and he sets to work filling it out. My eyes roam over his long fingers as he writes and then along the marred skin of his forearms. What happened to him? The insane urge to pull him into my arms and soothe any pain of his past, rushes over me.

Jesus, get a grip man. He’s an employee, I can’t come on to him or I’ll have a sexual harassment lawsuit on my hands. Besides, he clearly has baggage being a recovering addict and all. The last fucking thing I need is another damaged man to obsess over.

My door creaks open again and Madden peeks his head in.

“Madden, what’s up?”

If anyone had a more difficult year than I did last year it was Madden. But he finally recovered from the shooting both physically and mentally, and found a deep, amazing love with Thane. I couldn’t be happier for him.

In fact, love seems to be going around the shop because, as I suspected, Nash and Royal finally got their shit together and stopped dancing around each other. The surprising part was that they came together with another man between them...or however they’ve worked out the dynamics of their poly relationship, I haven’t asked for any specific details.

Now I just need to get Gage, Owen, and Dani paired off and I’ll be all set. Then I’ll be the only lonely bastard here.

“I was going to run across the street for some coffee, do you want anything?” Madden asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Do you want anything, Nox?”

He looks up from the paperwork and then glances over his shoulder at Madden.

“I’d love a small, black coffee, if you don’t mind.”

“No problem,” Madden says with a friendly smile.

Once the paperwork is done I show Nox around the shop and introduce him to everyone. He seems nervous at first but starts to relax as the morning wears on.

When lunchtime rolls around he pulls out a sandwich and his sketchbook and makes himself comfortable in our makeshift breakroom. I sit across from him arguing with myself about whether he wants me to shut the hell up while he sketches or if he’d be open to conversation.

I get lost in watching him as his features relax once he’s absorbed in his art. Nox sweeps his hair off his forehead absentmindedly. When I look down at what he’s drawing I notice he’s working on the phoenix he showed me as part of his portfolio. It’s stunning, so vibrant and somehow gives the feeling of a true rebirth. And, of course, reminds me of my lost friend.

Royal walks up behind Nox and pauses as he gazes down at the sketch and then at Nox’s hands.

“Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but what happened to your arms?”

Nox tenses visibly and stops drawing. My breath catches as I watch the pained expression flit over his face before being replaced by an emotionless mask.

“A fire,” he answers quietly.

“Damn,” Royal mutters.

Nox shifts uncomfortably in his chair.

“Sorry,” Royal mumbles, finally aware of his faux pas.

“No, it’s okay,” Nox assures him with a fake smile.

“What was it like?” Royal blurts. Seriously, I’m two seconds from knocking him out.

Nox lets out a humorless laugh.

“Well, if you have to go through it I’d recommend being high off your ass on Heroin. It really takes the edge off.”

Royal opens and closes his mouth several times and I stifle a laugh. What he went through was clearly not funny, but the fact that he can joke about it is impressive as hell.

And, suddenly the phoenix makes more sense.

“You want that inked on you?” I ask, gesturing to his drawing.

“Absolutely, once I can afford it.”

My heart sinks a little. Of course he’s struggling financially. He’s a recovering addict, for all I know this is his first real job. I shy away from the thought of what he might have done to support his habit.

“If you’re going to work at a tattoo shop you need ink. We can consider it like a uniform allowance,” I offer with a smirk.

Nox tenses again and eyes me suspiciously.

“You don’t want anything in return for it?”

My stomach lurches. Fuck, the assumptions I was trying to avoid must have some weight to them.

“No, man. In fact, this is mostly selfish on my part. That’s an incredible sketch and I want to make sure it’s done justice.”

He glances down and looks at the sketch for several seconds before nodding cautiously.

“That sounds awesome, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”