Water cascaded from the eaves of Warren’s Roman palace. It was raining, which in L.A. meant the apocalypse was nigh. And it sort of felt that way, at least to me. Any minute a limo was due to pick up Warren and take him to the tour buses. Warren had wanted me to ride with him. I’d called a cab instead. We were waiting out front for our respective rides.
Warren paced in front me, frustrated. Of course, he didn’t hesitate to share his aggravation. “I don’t like this, Addy.” His pacing eased, his brow descended into one, unhappy line. Kelly stood nearby, a silent sentinel. I’d gotten used to having him around. He was like my shadow—he heard and saw everything but never spoke of it and in turn, I forgot about his presence.
I trailed my fingers up Warren’s chest to his cheek. “Remember, we’re working on the whole patience and trust thing?” And bossiness and arrogance… oh, well, one step at a time. “Billy will have a heart attack if I show up with you,” I explained to Warren.
He gave me a fierce look. “But you’re going to tell him.” I chewed my lip. In the dark, promises were so easy to make; in the light, they were much harder to keep. A large hand landed on my ass, cupping it, pulling me forward, into War. “During the day you ride with Billy, have your time with him. But I want you on my bus at night.”
Bleep! A horn honked as the limo pulled into the driveway. The sunroof was open and Lix hung out the top of it, banging his hands against the roof.
“That’s my ride,” Warren said, picking up his bag. Millions of dollars earned and War still used the same duffel he’d used on tour in Europe.
“And that’s mine.” Behind the limo, a yellow cab pulled in.
His blue eyes swept mine, followed by a long-suffering sigh. “I’ll see you tonight. Come find me or I’ll find you.”
Kelly brushed past me, loading our things into the cab. I puffed out a bit of air and gave an absent nod. “I’ll find you.”
“Good. Now, come here, give me that mouth.”
I admitted sometimes I liked the bossy thing. War didn’t give me a chance to protest. His lips were against mine. Warren pulled away first. I felt something cold and heavy drop around my neck. In my kiss-induced haze, it took me a moment to realize what Warren had put on me: a simple gold band hung from a chain between my breasts. My wedding ring dangled from it and next to it, another band with a huge solitaire diamond.
I made the cab circle the block a couple times to put some time between Wild Minds’ arrival and mine. When we pulled through the temporary security gate and up to the tour buses, I was the last to arrive. Billy burst from the tour bus, Daisy behind him, calmly rubbing her small baby bump. The fans behind the gate yelled out to Billy, reaching their hands through the slats. Stuffing the chain and rings under my shirt, I alighted from the cab, Kelly in tow. My Scottish security guard-slash-nurse must’ve sensed my emotional upheaval, because he’d stayed quiet the whole ride. Good shadow.
Billy halted. I guessed he was waiting for me to make the first move.
“Hey, Billy.” I smiled and gave a little finger wave. My eyes flashed to Wild Minds’ bus. I wondered if Warren was watching our reunion, scrutinizing it, silently willing me to tell Billy. Was he waiting, anticipating my father’s reaction—eager to see the bottom fall out under Billy’s feet? He doesn’t feel that way anymore, he wants you to be honest because he wants to be together, I chided myself. I’d asked Warren to trust and be patient with me. It wouldn’t be fair not to offer the same.
Billy’s teeth gnashed together as he appraised me. “It’s Dad or Pop.”
“Hi, Daisy,” I said moving forward, hugging her. She smelled like strawberries.
“He’s been worried about you,” she whispered before releasing me.
I ignored that. “How are you feeling?” I asked.
Daisy’s big green eyes grew misty. Her smile was tremulous. It was the first time I’d mentioned the baby without crying or yelling. “Good. We’re renovating the house, getting ready for the baby. Billy didn’t want me around all the construction dust, so we holed up at the Château Marmont. All the room service I could eat.”
My heart clenched like a fist. “That’s good,” I said, managing a steady tone.
“You got nothing to say to your old man, then?” Billy asked, cranky as ever. I frowned at him. What had crawled up his ass?
Daisy’s head bobbed, motioning to the raucous fans. “Perhaps we should take this inside?”
I jerked a nod and headed for the bus, Daisy, Billy and Kelly on my heels. Jett, Chord and Turner were strewn about the luxurious interior. The bus door swung shut, muting the rabid fans. Kelly found something interesting toward the back of the bus. Billy’s band mates were not as considerate. They leaned forward, watching the three of us like it was their job.
Billy threw himself into a chair, leg bouncing, eyes glaring at me.
Daisy chimed in, her smile over-bright. Always the peacemaker. “Your father has quit smoking.”
I arched a brow. “Oh?”
Billy stuck up his nose. “Daisy showed me some shit on second-hand smoke. Who knew?”
I knew. I’d learned all about it from one of my tutors in the fourth grade. Then I’d tried to convince Billy to quit smoking, at least for my benefit. He’d assured me he had a set of iron lungs and since I was his kid, I’d inherited the same. Billy didn’t know shit about biology. My father was so willing to change for Daisy and this new baby. Why hadn’t he been willing to do the same for me?
“That’s good news,” I said. Again I kept my tone steady, reasonable. I couldn’t manage cheery. “I have something to tell you too.” This was it. I was going to say it. Admit to my father that Warren and I were married and had been shacked up for the last two weeks reconnecting. I put a hand to my chest, where the rings rested under my clothes. The feel of the circles strengthened my resolve.
The bus honked.
Steve, the driver, shifted gears and the wheels started to roll. Any possible escape plan was rendered useless. I’d be stuck on the bus with Billy for another six hours until the next stop in Sacramento. The band was playing there before heading to Portland.
“Yeah, bird?” Wary green eyes watched me.
Sweat dotted my forehead. “Before I tell you, I want you to remember that I’m an adult now and I’m capable of making adult decisions.”
“I already don’t like where this is going,” said Billy.
Silence reigned on the bus. I could do this. I could do this. I could do this. Breaking glass near the back stole my attention. My brow furrowed.
“Billy we forgot about our surprise for Addy,” Daisy piped up.
“It can wait,” Billy said, snagging Daisy’s wrist. He pulled her down to sit on his lap. “Addy was just about to tell me something important. What’s going on, bird? Did you flunk out of college or something? You know I don’t care about that. You got street smarts. That’s all that matters.” He propped his chin on Daisy’s shoulder.
“Uh, no,” I muttered. “Nothing like that.”
Another crash. What in the world? My feet moved with a mind of their own. “You didn’t get another dog, did you?” I peered over my shoulder at Daisy. “Tell me you didn’t let him get an animal.”
Daisy shook her head, eyes wide. When I was eleven Billy had decided to adopt a dog to teach me responsibility; he’d read an article about it on the internet. He’d bought a puppy from Craigslist. The dog was supposed to be a miniature golden spaniel, something cute and small, manageable on the road. Instead, it turned out to be a St. Bernard, a huge, drooling, massive beast. I named him Sergeant Pepper, and we had a magical sort of love affair. He toured with us for four years then came to live with me at Gabe’s house. I was devastated when he died and swore to never have another pet again.
“We didn’t get a dog,” Billy hollered. “But there’s definitely an animal back there.”
Just as I reached for it, the curtain parted. I drank in blond hair and blue eyes. My all-American ex and pretend boyfriend stood in front of me, his hands cradling a frame with no glass. “Uh, sorry, Billy, I broke your picture. Wasn’t expecting for the bus to start up when it did.” He turned a megawatt smile to me, its radiance blinding. “Hey, Addy. Surprise,” he said, right before enveloping me in a tight hug.
I held onto Gabe a little longer than necessary. My limbs suddenly refused to work. Gabe’s hands rubbed up and down my back.
“We thought it might be nice to have Gabe come a little early before we met up with his parents in Portland,” Daisy said next to me.
“It was my idea,” Billy hollered.
Daisy spoke under her breath so Billy couldn’t hear. “I tried to convince him not to. But you know Billy, once he sets his mind on something…”
I fisted Gabe’s long-sleeved shirt in my hands, too afraid to turn around. If I did, Billy might see the look on my face, a deer caught in the headlights. Things had just gotten a lot more complicated. I blamed myself. Who else could I blame? Oh, what a tangled web I’d weaved. Suddenly, I felt like a very, very bad person. I’d lied to Billy. I’d lied to Warren. I lied to Gabe. I’d lied to everyone who meant anything to me. Tears welled in my eyes.
“Hey.” Gabe’s thumb stroked my chin. His touch didn’t ignite like Warren’s did, but it did comfort. Gabe’s mouth went to my ear. “Billy’s looking at us funny. Tell him we have some catching up to do.”
My chin quivered but my voice didn’t as I spoke. “Gabe and I have some catching up to do.” Gabe stepped back, I went with him and we closed the door, shielding us from my father and Daisy and the band.
Usually the couch was pulled out into a bed, but today it had been left intact. Gabe let go of me and slumped on the velvet upholstery, legs splayed. Lily called this manspreading, a position to make way for a male’s genitalia. He crossed his arms. “Something tells me you’re not happy to see me. Was I wrong when I heard you invite me on this tour?”
“I’m happy to see you,” I said, smiling bravely.
“The tears and snotty nose say otherwise.”
I sat down across from him, twisting and turning my hands in my lap. “I’ve made a mess of things.”
Gabe snorted. “What else is new?”
I gave him a mean look.
He held up his hands. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on, and I’ll help you sort it out? It can’t be as bad as Europe.”
I sucked in a breath. Through the door, I heard the television click on and Billy muttering to Daisy. Someone strummed a guitar. I played with the ends of my hair and told Gabe everything. When I was done, Gabe was quiet for a moment. I dared a peek up and his cheeks were flushed with anger, a mix of surprise and embarrassment. He whistled low. “So Billy thinks I’m your boyfriend.”
I nodded.
“But you’ve been with Warren this whole time?”
Another nod.
“And Billy still doesn’t know about Europe?”
Nod.
“And Warren doesn’t know about after Europe?”
I turned my chin. Gabe went quiet. Seconds, minutes ticked by. Finally, I got sick of it. “Say something,” I demanded.
Gabe popped out of his seat, pacing the tiny length of the room. He ran an agitated hand through his hair. “What do you want me to say, Addy? I’m pissed, okay?”
I blinked, surprised. Gabe never got mad, at least not at me.
He pointed at his broad chest. “You know, I have feelings, too.” He collapsed back onto the sofa and rubbed his temples. “Just when I think I’m getting over you, you pull me back into your schemes.”
I slid from the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest, wanting to make myself as small as I felt. “I’m sorry.”
His chin lifted as he inhaled sharply. “Just do me a favor, no more calling me. You gotta leave me out of this shit. I can’t do this anymore, with you or Lily. You two need to get your heads on straight.”
I placed my chin on my knees.
Gabe wasn’t done. He opened his mouth and I prepared for more castigation. A loud knock on the doorframe interrupted us. Billy’s voice boomed through the curtain. “You two done getting reacquainted? We’re going to stop for lunch in a few minutes. There’s a truck stop Jett swears has the best chili fries coming up.”
I swallowed. “We’ll be out in a minute.”
“Good. Also, Daisy and I had sex on that couch this morning.”
Gabe jumped from the sofa, wiping his hands on his jeans. I popped up from the floor. Yuck.
“Billy,” Daisy admonished.
“What? I can’t have them getting it on back there. That’s our love nest.” Billy’s voice faded to the front of the bus.
“Your dad is really something else, Addy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Like Pete and Mel don’t have sex.”
Gabe took great offense. “My parents don’t do that.” Oh, my God, he couldn’t even say the word ‘sex.’
I laughed. “What? Have sex? How’d they have you then? They boinked at least once.”
He huffed and looked at the ceiling, as if asking God for guidance or patience, one of the two. “I never should’ve fallen in love with a rock star’s kid.” He meant it as a joke, but it cut like a knife. It hurt to breathe. Gabe stepped through the curtain. I was alone. Alone was bad—in the semi-dark and quiet, I couldn’t stop my thoughts.
Maybe I was more like my father than I’d ever considered. Flighty. Stubborn. Selfish. I had trouble committing. Enrolled in college, I had yet to pick a major. I changed classes every term, determined on some new career path.
Even when Warren and I were married, I’d always had one foot out the door—ready to run at any sign of trouble. Then I’d iced Warren out, unwilling to communicate. Not giving him the benefit of the doubt, as I’d demanded others give me. Because I knew I was right. Billy had the same holier-than-thou attitude sometimes. Yeah, I was definitely my father’s daughter, and it was terrifying.