Olivia
I storm back into the house with him screaming like a maniac behind me. Every fiber in me craves to turn back and run to him. To soothe him and wrap my arms around him. But my mind has taken over, and it is demanding I get away from that mad man.
He refuses to let me in, but he wants me so badly. Bullshit! If he wanted me, then he’d trust that I wouldn’t just leave him. He’s a different man now. But I don’t even know what the changes in him are because he won’t fucking tell me. And it’s frustrating. He wants to protect me from something I don’t know.
I can’t believe him. He told me he “loves” me. But he and I both know that was a goddamn lie. He only wanted to use something I regret blurting out against me. I knew he could be cruel, but to say that to me? He crossed a line.
What I can’t understand is: Why does he like hurting me so much? I thought we were on better terms. Great terms even! I brought him here to show my mother that she was wrong. Why did he have to prove her right?
Once in my room, I lock the door, knowing he would just barge in and dig a deeper grave than he’s already in. I fall back onto my bed the moment his fist falls on the door. I jump and feel my skin shudder as he begins to pound on the door and demand I open it. If he doesn’t shut up, he’ll wake everyone. Especially my mother. And if she sees him in this fit of rage, I will never hear the end of it.
“Fuck,” I mutter in annoyance under my breath as I walk over to the door. I swing it open, and his hand almost punches me before he catches himself and stares. He looks like a wild beast, his eyes blacker than the night, his hair tousled, and his fist bloody. What the hell did he break on his way up? But it’s not like my family can’t buy a thousand more just like whatever it is…
He brushes past my shoulder as he storms in. I take a deep breath to prepare for whatever is to come and close the door. When I turn around, I am in his chest. I crane my neck back to find him staring at me with a bewildered look.
It tugs at my heart strings, but before I can let him play my heart like a violin, I push past him and whirl around to face him on the other side of the room.
“What do you want, Grey?” I ask through firmly grinding teeth. I don’t want to deal with him. I just want to wake up from this never-ending nightmare and go back to how we were before his ex showed up. I never even knew my mother knew the girl’s mother. Unless…she did go digging in his background. She freaking invited them because she knew this would happen!
A loud scream of frustration leaves me as I fall onto the bay window’s cushion and put my face in my hands.
“What?” he asks.
I remove my hands and laugh bitterly. “My mother invited Rose.”
He rolls his eyes and curses. “Why am I not surprised? You’re mother’s a real fucking bitch.”
“Do not call her that!” I snap. She’s a lot of things, but a bitch is not one of them.
“Why shouldn’t I?” he scoffs and takes a step forward. “She’s the reason we’re fighting. We were fine before we came to this godforsaken place.” He winds his fingers through his hair.
“She isn’t the reason we’re fighting, you are.” I jump to my feet and point a finger at him.
He chuckles and looks around as if he’s lost his mind, which I am starting to believe more and more. “I am? You couldn’t be more wrong. If anything, it’s your fault we’re bickering like little children.” I’m right. He has lost his mind.
“Are you kidding me?” I wave my hands around wildly. “You won’t tell me about your past or about Rose, but you insist on keeping me ‘safe.’ That’s like throwing someone in a jungle and telling them you want to protect them, but not telling them there’s an anaconda on the loose. It’s insane and will not end well. I want us together, I really do. But you just—you just continue to tell me you want to keep me safe and love me, but you haven’t told me about the fucking man-eating snake wandering about!” I rant, trying to catch my breath.
He groans loudly and walks around in a circle, gripping his hair so hard, I think he’s going to pull every strand out. “I can’t risk losing you, Liv.”
“Why can’t you trust that I won’t leave you, Grey?” I scream, my voice stripped raw. I truly thought we were through with all this fighting. Guess not. It’s like his past won’t let him live, me either.
“Because she didn’t stay!” he says, his voice ragged, his eyes flitting down to the floor. It becomes silent as he breathes heavily and closes his eyes, as if sucked into a memory. But I want to know what he’s thinking—what is going through his mind in this second. Either he tells me…or I will be done with him. “I just—fuck!” He walks over to me and grabs my hands.
I rip them away. “Why are you always grabbing me? I am not your fucking ragdoll, Grey.”
“Because touching you gives me a sense of stability.”
Bullshit.
“Really? Because it only seems when you touch me, you suck up whatever frustration you cause me and throw it right back in my face. And I refuse to be your power source.”
He rolls his eyes and turns away from me.
“Why won’t you just tell me?” I shout, not caring who I wake up. I just want the goddamn truth.
“Because my past is dark, too dark for you,” he says in a calm tone that pisses me off.
“You’re just as dark, Grey. Yet here I am, with you.” Why doesn’t he understand that I want him just as much as he wants me? Maybe even more. I suck up any pride I have and pad over to him, taking his large hands in my smaller ones. He raises his eyes to look me in mine.
“I love you, Grey. You may not feel the same way, but I need to know what you are trying to protect me from…or we won’t be able to move on. It’s the only thing in our way now. Just…just tell me, please…” I sound pathetic, and tears are falling down my cheeks, but I don’t care. My emotions are too strong to hold back. And he needs to see what he is unintentionally doing to me.
His eyes are swimming with so much emotion, I can only spot one: Panic. He shakes his head and turns away. I can literally feel my heart split into two halves, and my breath is knocked out of me. He’s walking away from me. He’s breaking my heart again. And this time, I won’t be able to recover.
He swings the door open. The air is tense and numb to my ears before he turns around and softly says, “I love you, Liv. I do, but—”
“Just go,” I say breathlessly, holding my hand over my heart. It hurts. I have never felt pain like this before.
“Liv—”
I storm over to him and slap him. He doesn’t say or do anything. I breathe roughly and push him out of the room. I hold the door and glare at him as he stares at the ground. He’s such a coward he won’t even look at me.
“I hope that whatever you did to her was worth it, because you’re choosing her over me right now. Goodbye, Grey.” I slam the door and fall to the ground. I let go of all the tears I’ve been holding back and feel my chest concave. I drag my knees into my chest and lean against the door. I have only felt pain like this once before: when I lost my little brother. I thought I’d never heal after him.
But then I found Grey, and I started to feel like myself again—whole. But then he did this to me. He went back in time and ran straight through me on that deserted road. He killed me. And I’ll never be the same again.