Grey doesn’t tell me any details of where we are going. All he says is to not wear anything too revealing. And when I prepared to protest—just to piss him off because I wouldn’t in the first place—he warned me that not all of his friends are the nicest kind of fellas. That was enough to make me pull on a thick wool sweater and wear a matching beige beanie. He naturally teased me about the hat, of course. Why wouldn’t he?
Two hours later, he pulls up outside of an abandoned building on the edge of town, near the water. There are barely any red Solo cups like you’d usually find immediately at a fraternity party, littered on the ground. Even from the car, I can hear the rowdiness and rowdy laughter. Girls linger outside, some smoking and others chatting with friends. I immediately notice a difference. They are mostly wearing cowboy boots and vintage jackets. Whereas, at the frat parties, the girls were mostly from sororities and dressed up like they were going to high-end clubs, in higher heels and sparkly dresses. But there aren’t any here, and I instantly wonder why Grey even attended those dumb parties in the first place.
“The frat parties were a lot closer and were a high supply of girls and booze,” he says, as if reading my mind. I frown at the girls comment. He laughs and wraps an arm around me as we walk up to the building. “Don’t worry though, I’m not much of a whore anymore.”
“Much?” I question with raised brows.
“Oh, I’m still a whore for you,” he jokes and playfully bites my cheek. I laugh and attempt to push him away, but he just proceeds to kiss the length of my neck until we reach the building.
“Stay close to me, all right?” he says seriously, his grip around me tightening. I swear I periodically have whiplash because of his moods.
The minute we step inside, I understand why he says so. Men in faux leather from vests to boots litter the large building. To my immediate left is a long bar with about three workers, working fast to take orders. It smells of something richer, fouler than cigarettes. Cigars, maybe? To my right, there is a dance floor with girls and guys who aren’t dancing against each other so hard like at fraternity parties. They’re dancing more sensually and just give off a more mature vibe. There is a rock-indie kind of band behind them, on a moderately high stage.
“Wow,” I mumble under my breath.
Grey chuckles and tugs me toward the bar. “What do you want to drink?”
“A Coke would be awesome.”
“How did I not see that coming?” He rolls his eyes and orders one for me anyway and himself a whiskey flat.
“Gross, how did I not see that coming?” I retort and sit on an empty stool. He bites my cheek. I squeal and push him off of me. He snorts and throws down the money for our drinks.
I look around in curiosity and admiration. I don’t know why exactly, but I actually really like this. Well, a lot more than a party at a fraternity. The people there are just so rowdy and messy and immature, which is everything the people here aren’t. Who would have known Grey spent his nights here partying?
“Milady.” He opens my drink, and I smile as I bring it to my lips. I almost choke when a girl with hot pink extensions and heavy eye makeup literally jumps out from behind me.
“Grey!” she screams. Grey laughs at my expense and hugs the girl. I curiously watch and set my soda down while he brings his glass to his lips.
She’s younger than us; I can tell instantly by looking at her. Maybe sixteen or seventeen. I’m surprised there was no one checking for IDs—even at the bar. I bet all the delinquent kids in the area just know to come here for alcohol without much of a problem. Her light blue eyes scan over my attire, and I find myself doing the same with her. She’s dressed in a hot pink skirt—leather, of course—and a black crop top with fringes on the end.
“You must be Liv,” she says coolly, holding out a hand. I eye her soft smile that clashes with her over-the-top outfit and take her hand in mine. “I’m Trinity, but the guys around here call me Rin.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say politely and shake her hand.
“She’s Michael’s little sister,” Grey informs me with a glint of amusement I don’t understand.
“Who’s Michael?” I ask.
A guy with multiple facial piercings and more tattoos than skin walks up to us. Despite his dark clothes, tattoos, and piercings, he’s actually quite handsome. He has caramel skin and lighter blue eyes than Trinity’s. “I heard that, asshole.” He turns to me and lifts a pierced eyebrow. “Everyone calls me Marco.”
It dawns on me that he’s the owner of the tattoo parlor in town. The one I was briefly in months ago, before Grey broke my heart. It seems so long ago that happened. I know I should fear that it’d happen again, but with the way he’s laughing and looks so happy and me regarding him the same way, I know it’s unlikely. Very unlikely.
“Liv,” I reply simply.
“Well, Liv, I’m gonna have to take your pet away for a little bit,” he says, laughing as Grey glares at him with tight fists. “Come on, boy,” he coos and pats his thighs.
“Fuck you.” Grey lunges at him, and I’m afraid he’ll punch him, but he just bumps him with his shoulder and pushes at him. Marco laughs and does the same, and I laugh at how cute they are. “I’ll be out back. Stay here and keep an eye on her, please.” He nods to the girl attempting to seduce one of the bartenders into getting her a drink. But he just shakes his head and moves on, amused. I guess they do require ID here.
I smile to myself and look back to find the guys gone.
“So how did an asshole like Grey fool a girl like you into a relationship? Eck—relationship. That boy done screwed have the town—it’s weird thinking he actually has a sensible girl with him.” She stops talking and grimaces apologetically. “Sorry?”
“It’s okay.” I dismiss her brutal confusion. “I’m still kind of wondering myself,” I admit.
“It must be the dick. I don’t know what he’s doing, but he has you, so he must be a ten.” I sense inquisition in her words despite the little sigh she gives out as she crosses her arms.
What is it with people and knowing how good Grey is in bed? It’s the most ridiculous thing.
“How about you?” I change the subject and twist Grey’s charm between my fingers. “Have you got a boyfriend?”
She shakes her head with the largest scoff, as if the thought alone was preposterous. “Why get locked down so young? This is the time to party and have fun, not worry about a lap dog of a boy hounding my every move.” She makes a disgusted sound, and I frown.
“Being in a relationship doesn’t have to stop you from having fun,” I tell her.
“Maybe not, but with Grey, ha! I’d be surprised if he weren’t chugging down drinks out back. Guys get bored easily, as I do of them.” I feel my stomach drop. She isn’t right, is she? Noticing my sudden mood plummeting, she flicks her blue eyes toward me and raises a brow.
“Oh, but that isn’t going to happen with you guys,” she quickly corrects herself. “What about we go dance? Hmmm? This is a good song to dance to.” She hip bumps me, and I can’t help but laugh.
Can I be any more of a dork, listening to a child doubt my recently steady relationship with Grey?
I follow her out to the dance floor and soon fall in step with the fast-paced band. There’s no more sensual grinding, but there is a lot of jumping around. My sudden rise in doubt is completely demolished by us dancing, making silly faces, and facing the band that, if I’m honest, is actually quite attractive. Cut-off shirts and sweaty skin and all.
I can’t help but feel foolish for how I’m dressed, in a wool sweater and Toms. Don’t get me wrong, I like the outfit. I adore it, really. But it isn’t meant for this place. I’m sure I stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd, but I don’t really mind as long as I’m kind of having fun. Okay. I’m not going to lie, I am having a pretty good time. Though it’d be the best time ever if Grey was here.
The roaring of an engine makes me freeze in shock and fright.
“What was that?” I scream to Rin, dragging her from dancing with a tall guy with light hair and dark eyes.
“The guys are pulling out rulers,” she says, but I don’t understand. She must see that I’m confused, because she explains, “Drag racing.”
“And Grey’s doing that?” I didn’t know he did.
She nods. “All the time before he stopped coming a few months ago.” Right around the time he met me. I wonder why he didn’t tell me about it…“Wanna go check it out?” She lifts a blonde eyebrow, and I nod. She takes my hand, winks goodbye to the guy, and ushers me to the back.
The brisk wind slaps against my face; I instantly wrap my arms around my stomach and peer through the dark. On the road in the isolated area are two cars, both bright colors and so loud, I think my ears are going to start bleeding. I spot Grey getting into the green neon car, a smirk hanging off his face.
“Hey, Liv. I almost didn’t see you there.” I turn to find David smiling at me. He’s with a girl with the biggest, brownest eyes and sweet smile on his arm. This must be the girlfriend Grey told me about. I glance down at the girl’s left hand but don’t find a ring. So he hasn’t proposed yet. I wonder how he’ll do it. And then I begin wondering how Grey would…knowing him, he’d probably send a video with him asking while falling from the sky…I need to snap out of it. Anyway, I didn’t expect him to be here. Then again, he and Grey used to attend parties together.
“Hi, David.” I glance at his girlfriend.
“Sorry, this is my girlfriend, Holly. Holly, this is Grey’s girlfriend, Liv,” he introduces.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” she says in a cheerful tone that takes me off guard. I smile, and he laughs as I take her hand and shake.
“It’s my pleasure, trust me.” I discreetly wink at David as she turns to him. He widens his eyes, but I wouldn’t let it slip of what he plans to do. I laugh under my breath before saying, “So, you’re not going up against him? I would have put my money on you, but don’t tell him that,” I joke.
He shakes his head dismissively. “That’s more of his thing.”
“Speaking of which, I should go talk to him for a second. But I’ll see you guys around,” I promise and start in the cars’ direction. They wave me goodbye, and I turn around and briskly jog over to the cars, my hair and the wind slapping me over and over again. When I reach the car, I lean into the lowered passenger window.
“Hey, princesa.” Grey faces me with a wicked smile.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, I’m about to earn fifty bucks,” he says matter-of-factly.
I give him a blank look with a small frown. “You never told me you did this.”
He shrugs. “It’s more of a hobby.”
“That’s what David said.”
“So you saw him and Holly?” he asks, and I nod.
“Yup, do you know how he’s going to propose?” I bet he’ll do it over a romantic dinner where they first met. It’s how I’d like it. Sweet and intimate.
There is a sharp whistle that freezes his words. He and I both look up front, finding a girl wearing cowboy boots and a whistle between her dark red lips.
“I’d love to have this meaningful conversation, but right now I gotta beat this fucker.” He nods to his left, and I look over and spot a guy with silver earrings and a nasty scar slashed down his chin. I look back to Grey and nod.
“But you can get hurt.” I care more about his health than him possibly winning some stupid car racing bet.
“And?” He laughs, amused. “Babe, I get hurt for a living.”
“Right…but still.”
He lets out a sigh and stares at the dashboard in thought. “Get in,” he finally says after a beat of silence.
“Excuse me?” I squawk.
His eyes spark in mischief as he leans over and pops the door open; I back up and gape at him, not getting in the car.
“I said to get in, Liv,” he reiterates. “I promised you danger.”
“Yeah, but not death,” I counter. He throws his head back in laughter. I watch in adoration as his eyes close and he looks purely content, light. In this moment, I want to take a picture just to capture this. And I discreetly do with my phone. What? He’s a cutie, and this is a perfect moment! “If I get in, can you promise I’ll get out in one piece?”
“Yes, bebé. Now get the fuck in.” He reaches over the black center console and grabs my sweater.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I groan as I get in and close the door after me. I attach the seatbelt and reach over and do the same, finding him without his on. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything as the loud clink! sounds.
Good. Now my baby is nice and secure.
“Happy?” he teases.
“Ecstatic,” I mumble sarcastically.
“On your marks!” The girl’s yell slices through the air, and Grey swiftly slips into a more serious attitude. I watch in fascination as he revs the engine and squints his eyes, prepared for what is to come. But I’m not.
What is wrong with me? This can end so horribly…
“Are you sure you can’t just Rock-Paper-Scissors for the money?” I ask, desperately concerned.
“I’ve got this, babe.” He holds up a hand and pinches his bottom lip, a dark glint to his eyes. So primal…so reckless…I am so dead.
“Get set!” she shouts, and the boys rev their engines again. A knowing smile falls on her lips. I can feel the tension creeping up my arms and wrap around my neck, making it hard to swallow. More people have gathered outside, and it suddenly sinks in what is about to happen.
“Go!” she yells and bends down.
Gears tightening and tires squealing swallows the sound of my scream and Grey’s chuckle. We lurch forward, and I freakishly play with my charms while silently saying a prayer. The wind plays dance battle with my hair, sending the loose, curly tendrils to tickle my face and lap around my eyes. I frantically push them behind my ears and swallow as I sink in the seat, raising my legs and biting into my knee.
Grey tries to reach out and hold my hand, I guess to comfort me, but I have never screamed as loud as I tell him, “Don’t touch me, jackass! Both hands on the wheel!”
He laughs and puts it on the wheel.
If I close my eyes and clasp my ears, I bet it’ll feel like I’m in the air and this isn’t happening. But when I do it, we are still flying down the narrow lanes and Grey is still howling and punching the roof of the car like he’s a manic.
In this moment, I see how truly demented in all the wrong places he is. He gets high on getting hurt and hurting others; he enjoys this insane challenge—he loves things normal people shouldn’t. But I couldn’t care any less, even if someone paid me a million dollars. Because no amount of money could ever pull me away from this delirious man with the heart of a thousand fires.
A smile breaks out on my face, and I laugh a little…until he reaches over and pinches my cheek and I’m screaming and half laughing. Now I’m insane. For loving him and for imitating him. But I wouldn’t mind being a little crazy. Who likes normal, anyway?
I close my eyes and scream and slap the dashboard curtly. He shakes his head wildly, and I shoot my arm out of the rolled down window and let the wind slip through my fingers.
My brief rush of adrenaline is abruptly shot down when I feel the car jerk to the side. I look across Grey and feel my heart drop. The opposing driver tried to underhand Grey by swerving close to us. But Grey displays skills I didn’t even know he had and adjusts the gear with precision, and we speed further. My heart flies in my chest and bounces around in my ribcage.
I am suddenly in the backseat with my brother; my mother and father are in the front. We’re laughing and talking about how clumsy our waiter was when bringing our food. Mom had just turn the radio onto pop when it happened.
In the present, my throat constricts, and I can hear metal scraping against the pavement and taste thick, metallic blood and smell burned rubber.
“Stop the car…stop the car!” I scream repeatedly until my throat is ripped raw and I’m suddenly on the side of the road, shaking. Literally shaking with my eyes closed. I close my hands around the loose gravel and try my hardest to calm my raging nerves. I want to stop everything and go back to driving recklessly with Grey and be in that electrifying moment we were in moments ago. I want to so badly…but I can’t stop the freaking tears or the fire burning my insides alive. It just won’t—
“Stop,” I breathe.
“Fuck, I am so sorry, princess. I didn’t know he’d do that.” I look over my shoulder and find Grey gripping his hair, his knuckles purely white, eyes wide, teeth bared. “I’m going to kill him. I’m going to fucking rip his head off.” He turns around, but I make a pathetic sound and grab his hand.
“Stay,” I plead through heavy breathing.
He bends down and rubs my back as I close my eyes again. “I’m getting you home. But I will beat his ass later.”
“No, n-no. I’ll walk back. I can’t—I can’t.” I’m having a panic attack just thinking of setting foot in that car again.
“I fucked up, I fucked up—Jesus, I am—fuck!” He’s smacking his head, and it’s enough to flip a switch to the part of me that cares more about him than my wellbeing. I grip his wrists and force him to look me in my eyes.
“You’re not fucked up. Just—just take me home, please…” I try to reason with him.
The emotion that lingers in his eyes is overwhelming. I can’t pinpoint one. But I catch a major glimpse of regret. He nods frantically and scoops me into his arms. I try to tell him that I can walk, but he stays silent and begins the long walk back to the party.
***
Hours have passed, and we’re back at his apartment. My nerves are well under control, and I took my sleeping pills because I knew a nightmare was waiting for me, even if Grey was holding me. He’s usually my knight in shining obsidian, wielding a sword to protect me from the past trying to drag me under the currents of the raging storm within my mind. But after tonight and the frightening amount of emotions that overwhelmed me, there is no way I was getting scot free without it.
I’m on the thin line of falling asleep when I hear it. The deafening sound of glass breaking. It pierces the air and my heart, sending me to my feet, running to the sound. Without finding the reason behind it, my mind already knows it’s Grey. He hasn’t been the same since the race.
He’s…different. I knew it when I first saw the look of pure self-hatred behind his eyes. A switch was flicked—for the bad. He hasn’t spoken to me since he tucked me in, saying he just needed to. And I let him. I last felt him around me, but I dozed off for a few short seconds.
I find him in the bathroom and nearly burst into tears. The mirror is completely smashed to pieces. Blood is smeared on the back of it; it’s scattered on the porcelain white sink and all over his clothes. He’s in the corner rocking back and forth. His clothes and hair are beyond disheveled, and tears well in his eyes.