Turner sat across from me at the dining table. I sipped a cup of tea, generously sugared and splashed with milk. The reddish-blond drummer chewed cereal slowly as he studied my face. I rubbed my cheek, wondering if I had a mark there. Milk dribbled down his chin and into his beard. I was surprised women flocked to the dirty drummer. Since living on the bus, I’d been privy to his hygiene habits, which were few and far between. Turner believed showering after a show washed off good luck. A very stinky superstition.
After our third round of sexy times, the band had reclaimed the bus and demanded we cease and desist all intimacy, lest they hurt their virgin eyes. Billy had emerged from the bedroom, jeans riding low, sans shirt and a cocky swagger to his steps. “Wonderful news gents,” he announced. “Flower and I have made up. I’ve forgiven her for dallying with the tutor and she’s promised never to stray again. It’s going to be a long, rocky road, but we’re rebuilding trust.”
I felt my cheeks pink and made myself busy fixing a cup of tea, then I settled myself, cup in hand, across from Turner. Since then the drummer had been staring at me. “I can feel you thinking,” I said to him. Up ahead, Jett sat in an armchair, guitar in his lap. Billy next to him. Chord snoozed on the couch. I wondered if the bassist had a thyroid problem; he seemed unusually sleepy.
Turner cocked his head. “You don’t look any different now that Billy’s had his way with you.”
Oh, I should’ve let Turner continue his scrutiny, I shouldn’t have engaged. I sighed. Turner grabbed the cereal box, a manic-looking leprechaun juggled marshmallows on the front. “Do you guys eat any cereal that doesn’t have a cartoon character on it?” I asked, hoping to waylay the conversation.
Turner shrugged, dumping toasted oat pieces and multi-colored marshmallow shapes into the bowl. “I thought you’d look a little more deviant, but you look the same?”
“The same?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself.
“Like strawberries and cream, fresh as a daisy.” He chuckled. Turner could always make himself laugh. Along with stinky superstitions, he had an even stinkier sense of humor.
“Hardy har har,” I replied.
“Hey, mate,” Billy hollered. “My lovemaking doesn’t make women deviant; it makes them radiant.”
I palmed my head, fingers scrunching my tangled hair. I was still wearing Billy’s T-shirt and had on a pair of his sweats. I needed a shower.
“You just remember,” said Turner in a low voice, pointing his spoon at me, “Billy’s like a bowl of curry. What you do with him today is going to burn your ass tomorrow.”
I burst out laughing. “I don’t even like curry.”
“That’s what they all say.” Turner shook his head. “That’s what they all say.”
The bus doors opened and Addy stomped on board. “I’m back,” she declared, carrying a bag from the aquarium shop.
“Little bird,” said Billy. “What you got there?”
Addy smiled. She withdrew a stuffed dolphin from the bag. “I’ve named him Gary Marshall, dolphin cop, he polices the oceans.”
Billy laughed and took the dolphin from Addy. “A dolphin cop, huh?”
“Yeah, and I got this.” Another stuffed animal emerged from the bag. A seal. “I don’t have a name for him yet. He’s a seal so maybe Sam?” she scrunched up her nose, unsure.
Billy’s mouth settled into a frown. “A seal?” I had flashes of Thanksgiving evening. A Navy SEAL? I’m not familiar. And I’m not intimidated by a man who’s the member of some porpoise group, Billy had said. “Unfortunately, bird, we’ve got a strict no-seal policy on this bus now.”
Addy’s frown matched her father’s. “We do?”
“Yep, no seals allowed.” He tapped her nose. “Your seal will just have to find some other place to sniff around. This bus is closed for business. Isn’t that right, flower?” He sent me a heated look over his daughter’s head.
I looked away. An onslaught of emotions had my jaw working. I tried not to read too much into Billy’s words, his proprietary feelings toward me. Were his flares of jealousy evidence of affection? Or did he just feel like I was an object, something he owned, something he paid for. Yikes, the thoughts I’d boxed up earlier sprang free. You’re his nanny, and current bed partner, nothing more. I cleared my throat of whatever emotion was lodged in it. “Addy, sweetheart. You need to take a shower. You didn’t take one last night. And it’s almost dinner, then we’re having an early bedtime.”
Addy stuck her nose in the air and marched toward me. “You can make me do whatever you want, but my mind is free.”
Billy barked out a laugh. I patted her head. “That’s lovely, sweetheart. Make sure your free mind washes behind its ears and in between its toes.”
Addy showered and after, we ate mac and cheese with the band. Billy sat next to me and once or twice I had to block his wandering hands under the table. A roadie boarded the bus and revved the engine. We’d drive all night and end up in Boise, Idaho. The band would play there for one night, then we’d move on to Vegas. I settled Addy in her bunk, and she requested Jett play her Taylor Swift songs until she fell asleep. He complied, his sexy croon filling the bus with acoustic renditions of the pop star’s greatest hits. She fell asleep quickly, but Jett kept playing.
“It’s disturbing how many Taylor Swift songs you know,” Billy said while Jett strummed a bridge.
“Girl’s got catchy tunes, mate.” Jett strummed away and I lay back on the couch. I still needed that shower, but I wasn’t in any hurry. Someone turned down the lights. I let my eyes close. I’d sleep for a few minutes, then get up and take that shower.
A tongue ran up my neck, followed by nibbling teeth. Little tingles raced up my spine. I came awake slowly, my eyes fluttering open. I lay on my side on the couch and somehow, my very large, blond rocker had wedged himself behind me. I could feel his hardness against my back. A hand positioned itself against my stomach, holding me against his obvious erection. I moaned, thighs clenching. The cabin was empty. And the bus wasn’t moving.
“What?” I said in a daze of lust and sleep. “Where are we?”
“Everybody’s sleeping. Mike stopped to eat and take a rest. It’s just you and me, flower.” Mike being our roadie turned bus driver for the evening.
My eyes traveled to the back of the bus. The curtain was drawn, separating the bunks from the cabin. Still, anyone could wake up and walk out. The hand moved from my stomach to my hips, turning me. “Easy now, darling. This shouldn’t take very long. Just stay still for me, all right?” My thighs tensed, I was laying on my stomach now, Billy above me. His hand slid under my sweats, palmed my ass then dived deeper, stroking my cleft. “Jesus, flower, you look fantastic like this. All sleepy and wet for me. I watched you sleep for a while.”
“That’s kind of creepy,” I breathed out.
His big hands stroked my back, moved my hair away from my neck. Then I felt him cover me, he sucked my skin and bit down where my shoulder met my neck. The jolt of pain blended into pleasure. “If you think that’s creepy, you don’t want to know what I was thinking.” I kind of did. My muscles clenched. Heat pooled at my core. Oh shit, did the curtain just move? I froze. “Fuck, I want you.” Billy rose up. I heard the unmistakable sound of a zipper and then hands were tugging at my sweats.
I wiggled and darted away, curling my body at the end of the couch. I stuck up a hand, shook a finger at him. “No.”
Billy frowned, hands on his fly. “No?” He didn’t seem to understand.
“Addy’s five feet away, we can’t,” I explained.
He looked down. “My dick says otherwise, darling.”
I licked my lips. I hadn’t given him that blowjob I’d promised myself yet. I shook my head. “Rules, Billy,” I reminded him.
His glower intensified. Billy usually got what he wanted, and when denied he could throw an epic fit. I steeled myself for the tantrum. “What am I supposed to do about this then?” He motioned at his still-obvious erection.
“There’s lotion and tissue in the bathroom,” I ever-so-helpfully suggested.
He snorted. “I don’t want my hand. I got standards you know. That’s like asking me to eat a hamburger when I’ve had filet mignon.”
Oh, well that was kind of nice. “Maybe you could take a walk.”
Clearly, this suggestion was worse. “A walk?”
“Yes, any time you have … sexual feelings …” I don’t know why I dropped my voice … “you take like a, therapeutic walk. Maybe the fresh air will help.”
A line appeared between his eyebrows. He nodded. “All right, then.”
I relaxed and smiled. “Good.” See, this wasn’t so bad. We were having a mature conversation. I did adulting super well.
“We’ll just go to bed,” he said.
Somewhat disappointed, I stood and stretched. Had I wanted Billy to insist? No, I didn’t. I wanted my rules. I needed my boundaries. Boundaries were good. They kept my heart safe and Addy secure. I sauntered to the bunks, Billy following. I paused at mine but Billy wrapped his fingers around my wrist and pulled me toward the back bedroom. A lamp from behind the door partially lit the dark space.
“What are you doing?” I whisper-yelled.
He gave me a blank look. “Taking you to bed.”
“Rules, Billy, remember?”
“Of course I remember. That’s why we won’t be fucking. We’ll keep it clean. Purely PG. Although,” he stepped closer to me, “I wouldn’t object if you wanted to have your way with me.”
“We’re not sleeping in the same bed together.”
A pretty pout graced Billy’s face. “But I’ll be so cold and lonely.”
“Sorry.”
“At least kiss me goodnight then.”
I tilted my head at him and crossed my arms.
“Kiss me goodnight.” He said, letting his voice rise. Someone shifted in their bunk. “Kiss me, flower,” he demanded even louder.
“Fucking hell, kiss him already so the rest of us can go back to sleep.” It was Turner. He swore and muttered some more before quieting.
“Fuck off, Turner,” said Billy. His attention returned to me. “You heard the man. Kiss me. Kiss me now before I scream down this whole place.”
“You’re impossible.” I stepped closer until our toes met. “You wouldn’t wake up Addy.”
“Darling.” He cupped my cheek. “You don’t know half the things I would do for you.” My heart expanded and felt too big for my chest. Why did he have to say such sweet things? It didn’t seem fair to lead me on like this. Especially when I wanted so badly to be led. “Besides, the girl sleeps like a hibernating bear.”
I chuckled. It was true. She’d slept through a small earthquake in L.A., a groupie screaming her undying love to Jett and a busted bus tire. Her ability was something to envy. I was a light sleeper. Each small noise jolted me awake.
“Come to bed with me, flower,” he tried one more time. “I have something to show you. It’s in my pants, it needs special care and attention.” He did a slight thrust with his hips, highlighting his hard-on behind his partially unzipped fly.
“Oh my god,” Turner groaned. “Now I have to hear about your dick, too?”
I almost gave into Billy’s plea. Almost. I sighed. “I can’t.”
His lips brushed mine. “You sure I can do nothing to convince you?”
“I’m sure.”
“That’s very responsible of you.”
I sighed again, this time sad and long. “I know.”
He kissed me. “I’m getting a hotel in Boise.”
I gave him a smile. “Okay.”
He stepped back and closed the door to the bedroom, leaving me alone and in the dark.
“A bowl of curry, flower,” Turner grumbled.
I ripped a page from Billy’s book and said, “Fuck off, Turner.” But there wasn’t nearly enough heat behind it. The drummer laughed. Oh yeah, I was tough. As tough as a kitten or a newborn baby. “And while you’re at it, take a shower, too. You stink.”