11
Celebrations
Awoken by soft feathery kisses on his face, he turned to gaze at Olivia. His head throbbed from his overindulgence, however he realised it could have been worse had he stayed at the club. He was thankful for more than one reason for her. The sunlight forcing its way through the curtains cast a golden glow over her dark waves and he thought she looked prettier this morning. She smiled seductively then kissed him affectionately. He deepened the kiss while his hands explored her trim waist and small pert breasts. A sharp wrap at the door preceded his sister’s voice.
“Good morning, Lucky, Happy Birth...”
“Shit, its Carrie.”
“Day,” Carrie finished as she opened the door.
Lucas attempted to block Carrie’s view of Olivia’s body, with his.
“Oh,” Carrie started. “I didn’t realise you had company. I brought you breakfast for your birthday ... anyway I have to talk to you, Lucas, when you’re ready. I’ll leave you to it.”
Lucas groaned. It was bad enough that Carrie was aware of his sex life; it was another thing to have her witness the aftermath. This was going to be interesting.
“I forgot about her birthday ritual. Our mum ... used to do it and Carrie has kept it going. I didn’t even think of it, sorry about that.”
“It’s okay, like you said, you’re a big boy.” She sat up beside him and traced kisses across his shoulder.
“Um, I guess I should get up and talk to her. Do you want to meet her?”
“Perhaps another time, I mean, I don’t think it would be a good idea.”
“I want to see you again. I was hoping we could ... do this again without strings.”
“I don’t do relationships. I’m focusing on my career. I wouldn’t kick you out of my bed, so if we keep it casual, then absolutely.”
He kissed her hungrily before she got up and dressed quickly. Lucas saw her to the door and then sought out his sister, who he located in the kitchen, her face screwed up with disapproval, although she almost seemed to be fighting it. She was probably upset with herself too, for begrudging him happiness; her chagrin, however, at witnessing it was another matter.
“Thanks for breakfast, Carrie.”
She started having been deep in thought. Her brow still creased and her lips thin.
“You could have warned me somehow,” she finally answered. Her expression softened slightly.
“You weren’t home when we ... I came home last night. It wasn’t planned. She brought me home after finding me drunk at ‘In Blue’. Olivia happened to be the officer that brought me home .... that night also. I had a bad night on Friday.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve helped.”
He shrugged. “It’s a cop thing.”
“Not if you are going to get drunk, pick up strange girls and bring them here every time you see something ... like them. You chose to become a cop, Lucas; you need to learn to handle it in different, better ways.”
He leant against the kitchen bench and found he couldn’t look at her, feeling like a chastised child. This only enticed his defences to emerge.
“I’m handling it the best way I can and she isn’t strange. She’s nice and comforting. She understands. I wanted her to stay. Call it a birthday present.”
“She’s a bit old for you isn’t she?”
Carrie placed her hands on her hips and Lucas thought how much she looked like their mother. A sharp pain pierced his chest.
“What’s age got to do with it? We’re not getting married, Carrie, just sleeping together. Relationships aren’t my thing and thankfully they aren’t hers either. It’s convenient.” He followed with a shrug. Why should he have to justify his adult decisions? Her expression was still filled with disapproval.
“So every time it gets tough you’re going to do this?”
She realised she was starting to sound like his mother not his sister and slightly resented him for putting her in the position.
“I don’t know, Carrie, it was the first one ... like that.” He shrugged again which annoyed her but her tension began to ease. He was a man now and they were his decisions to make.
“Just promise me you’ll be careful. I know you aren’t my baby brother anymore but I still worry about you getting hurt.” She softened her face and her stance. The rant was over.
“Thanks, but it should be the girls you’re worried about.” He smirked and she frowned. “Anyway, I might not be getting married,” he began looking at her ring. “But I can see someone is.”
“Oh, I ... with everything I forgot for a moment. Are you okay with this? We won’t be getting married straight away. There will be plenty of time for us to work out living arrangements—“
“Carrie,” he cut her off. “It’s fantastic news. I’m really happy for you. Nathan‘s a great guy and he loves you, that’s enough for me.”
He hugged her in his shy Lucas way.
“I’m relieved, I was a bit worried.”
“Nothing to worry about, be happy, you deserve it.”
“So do you.” He shrugged. “Happy Birthday, Lucky.”
“Thanks and Carrie...”
“I know don’t call you Lucky. Sorry it’s habit.”
Nathan arrived about an hour later with champagne and ingredients to make lunch. They shared a celebratory drink as Carrie prepared the food. Lucas watched them as they cooked and noticed the subtle, comforting change to their relationship and felt a slight twinge of envy and longing, which he swiftly brushed aside. He was never getting close to anyone. Ever. Being in a relationship worked for Carrie, and Lucas was sincerely happy for her, it just wasn’t for him.
He reminisced about his night with Olivia and managed a slight smile. He definitely wanted a re-run of the previous evening but next time he wanted to be completely sober. He wished to enjoy every part of her with a clear head. When the phone rang he went to answer it leaving the lovebirds alone or escaping them was more like. The woman invading his thoughts was the voice he heard on the other end of the line.
“Hello there,” she said huskily. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Not much, probably celebrating some more.”
“Oh, you’re birthday, of course.”
“No, I don’t really do much for my birthday, besides I got my present last night. My sister’s getting married.”
“Oh, that’s good news. Marriage isn’t my thing but it’s good news regardless. I won’t get in the way of your plans then.”
“Please do. I love my sister but too much love is kind of suffocating. I want to see you again. All of you.”
“Come over later,” she said enticingly. She gave him the address.
“Give me an hour or so.”
He politely sat through lunch, his anticipation of an afternoon with the sexy Olivia building. About an hour later Lucas decided he’d stayed long enough and told Carrie he was going out. She presented him with another worried frown, which he ignored.
Lying with her head on his chest Olivia idly ran her fingers over his stomach. He twirled her glorious hair around his fingers.
“You certainly excelled yourself today, young man,” she said. “That was much better than last night.”
She turned her face to his and kissed him hungrily.
“I aim to please.”
“Wow, your eyes look amazing.”
“Yeah?” His shield came up with a jolt. Stacy’s face flashed through his mind as he remembered.
“They’re an amber colour, much lighter than last night.”
“Well, I’m feeling pretty good right now.”
He wasn’t in love with her, he liked her, sure, and she was awesome in bed, but surely this so called ‘golden glow’ of his eyes had nothing to do with love. Lust, that’s all it was. He had to be careful here, feelings could not become an issue.
“No-one has ever told you this before?”
“No,” he lied, it was better this way.
“That’s definitely a boost to my ego.”
Lifting her head she kissed him again leaving no doubt as to her intention. She climbed astride him and he enjoyed watching her ride him until they both climaxed.
As the weeks past Lucas spent most of his nights off in Olivia’s bed. He avoided bringing her home, hoping to dodge another uncomfortable encounter with Carrie. Although he’d grown fond of Olivia he kept her at arm’s length. He avoided ringing her and let her make all the moves. He didn’t want to encourage her in any way. Even though she wasn’t looking for anything serious he needed to be cautious. His ability to mask and hide his emotions improved as time passed.
Weeks turned into months and his patrol duties remained in the easy or safe zone and this aided in strengthening his resolve. Almost four months to the day after his first murder scene, Chuck and Lucas were called to another. Although the dread crept up to tighten his throat, the memories didn’t surface. It was getting easier.
Preparations began for Carrie’s wedding and she’d asked Lucas to give her away and although both were thrilled with the idea, they were saddened that the rightful person for the job was no longer with them. It was at moments like these they both felt melancholy and questioned why fate had dealt them such a blow. That night they’d both stayed in and tearfully remembered their parents. It was one of the only times Lucas allowed the topic to be raised.
Carrie continuously told Lucas he could move in with them after the wedding to which he politely refused. Now he’d turned twenty one he would receive his half of their inheritance and although he considered it blood money, he decided to use a small portion of it to buy a one bedroom apartment. The rest could grow, or fester as he saw it, in an investment fund.
His twenty second birthday came and went and he celebrated with Carrie and Nathan for dinner and then with Olivia later that evening. They continued to spend their free night-time hours together but they remained casual, just as he wanted and he assumed she did too. After passing her detective exam he was the first one she called and he paid it no heed. She said the words he wanted to hear, no strings and he ensured she kept her promise.
He saw other women in between the nights he spent with her or during the day mainly, between shifts at work and he believed this further enabled their relationship to remain as casual, yet frequent, with sex only. He didn’t know if she knew or how she would feel and he didn’t really want to know. If she didn’t like it she could end it with him. He would miss her and the sex, but he would move on easily.
Deep down loneliness and despondence had made a permanent residence inside him but he simply chose to ignore it. At least when he was with Olivia or one of his other one night stands the loneliness abated for the hours they were in his arms. His journal gave him solace too. He wrote in it most days. About the years working through the ranks, about Olivia, and the other women in his life were frequent entries. The tough murder scenes and life as a cop filled the pages. When everything got too much for him, or a nightmare woke him in a cold sweat, he expressed it all on paper so he wouldn’t need to find solace or comfort with anyone. Keeping an emotional distance was the best way.
Part of him longed to fill the emptiness permanently but he decided long ago never to get attached, despite the longing. He knew in time he could adjust to the loneliness but he would never adjust to losing someone he loved again. So he dedicated his life to his career and getting laid.
Two weeks before Carrie’s big day, Lucas found a small, apartment and with Harrison’s help, purchased the property. Leading up to the nuptials Lucas purchased a new bed and a few other items which sparsely furnished the apartment, suiting him perfectly. He didn’t plan to spend a lot of time there anyway. Between working the night shift, sleeping at Olivia’s, his constant studying towards his goal of detective, and going to the gym there was little time for idly sitting in a fully furnished home. A vacant apartment suited his empty heart.