24
Solitude
For the first few days being around Maggie proved more difficult than he anticipated. He wasn’t heartbroken by any stretch of the imagination, but he noticed the empty space she’d left in his life. Lucas had never realised just how unfulfilling voluntary solitude actually was.
Maggie overcompensated by being too nice which irked him a tad more than her absence from his private life. He missed the sex, no doubt about that, but Maggie had been more than that, a kindred spirit. Regardless of this he found himself relieved that he’d dodged a relationship bullet, he’d gotten too close and that had been his mistake. If their parting affected him this much after such a short time, imagine if he had let her into his apartment and really let her into his life. He’d broken his number one rule and let her get too close. As lonely as his life was now, they were merely partners and friends again. They’d made the right decision. Back to meaningless sex and no attachments. After a week of Maggie’s congeniality he’d had enough, he wanted his usual partner back and not the ‘spare his feelings’ replacement.
On his way to work he made a decision, it was time to talk to her. The last thing he wanted was his awkwardness over her being overly sweet to ruin their partnership. Lucas found her already at her desk, coffee waiting and a sugary smile.
“Knock it off, Maggie.”
“What?”
“The niceties, it’s irritating.”
“I can’t be nice to you now?” Confusion wrinkled her brow which didn’t help matters.
He lowered his voice to ensure prying ears weren’t alerted. “You know what I mean. You don’t have to save my feelings, I understand. I want things the way they were before and during us.”
“I don’t want things to be weird.”
“You’re making them weird. Please, just be yourself. Nothing has to change. We had fun, but we want different things.”
“No more weirdness.” Her smile was wide and friendly.
To end the conversation Lucas opened the file from their current case and shifted his focus. No use dwelling on the past, he would never have given Maggie what she wanted. It would’ve jeopardised their partnership and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Why in the end did they all want to get serious?
After draining his first cup of coffee, he needed another so he went to get a refill. He glanced up to notice a tall dark-haired guy walking in their direction. His face seemed familiar and Lucas determined him to be a detective from another department. He came to stand beside Maggie’s desk. Lucas waited, in case they were required for a case.
“Hey,” he spoke directly to Maggie.
“Hey yourself.” Steve, Lucas decided. Another cop, Mags? He shook his head, amused
“Oh, Steve, this is my partner, Lucas Hudson.”
“Hey, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Steve stuck out his hand. Lucas shook it.
“Um, Maggie exaggerates. What department are you from?”
“I wasn’t talking about from Maggie.” Steve glanced at her with curiosity in his eyes. “Vice.”
“Well, don’t believe everything you hear. Ah, nice to meet you.”
Lucas left them to it and hoped he hadn’t just told his partner’s new flame that he was her old one.
When he returned, Steve had gone.
“Sorry, he doesn’t know?”
“No, I thought that would be the way you would want it.”
“Yeah, probably best I suppose.”
He stuck his nose back in his files in an attempt to busy his mind and suppress the slight pang of jealously. Not because Steve and Maggie were together but at their ability to have no fear in the face of love. The fear of loss outweighed his loneliness, just, or at least that’s what he told himself.
Much later that evening, long after Maggie had left for the night and the new shift of detectives had begun, he was still killing time at his desk. After spending the remainder of the day investigating their latest case, they’d return to the station to type up notes and finish up for the day. Lucas was reluctant to go home to an empty apartment. He’d picked at a greasy hamburger at his desk before throwing most of it away and started working on some of their ‘cold’ cases, anything to occupy his time.
The copy of his parents’ file, which lived in his bottom desk drawer along with the seven other murders just like it, beckoned for him to pull them out and read over them for the infinite time. He ignored the urge and concentrated instead on another old case, a young girl shot in her home by an unknown assailant. Her boyfriend, or ex as they discovered, was the main suspect but they’d found little evidence to arrest him and as other cases emerged it got pushed to the side. Simply another murder without justice.
In frustration he pushed the file aside. He needed something to alleviate the loneliness and fill his time with something that wasn’t work. Craving some company - albeit for one night - he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and strode out to his unmarked car. Lucas determined the best place to fulfil his need was ‘In Blue’ as it was always open and filled with like-minded cops looking for the same thing. Young, rookie cops were always the most eager to spend the night with a detective. He loathed to use his status as such but it served its purpose in this instance. Guilt over the idea of using another unsuspecting girl niggled at him as he drove. Perhaps if he was upfront then no-one would be hurt.
The bar, full even at two am, housed many tables, which were mostly full, and many stools at the bar. Loud music played from the jukebox in the corner and the buzz of voices was a din over the sound. Conversation would be difficult. This suited him as he wasn’t after a friend. Some form of communication would be needed to ensure the girl he picked up would know exactly where she stood but that would be the limit of his conversation.
He slid onto a stool and ordered a beer. As he waited he scanned the room until he settled on a blonde in the corner sitting at a table with two other girls. As he studied her she lifted her eyes and Lucas let them linger before turning away and paying for his drink. Flicking his gaze over to her once again, he found her still looking at him. She smiled and he offered the smile which usually charmed. Lucas pulled his eyes from hers and waited.
In his peripheral vision he saw her rise and walk over to the jukebox. Seizing the opportunity, he grabbed his beer and strolled towards her. Now she was standing he realised how tall she was and assumed she would be about shoulder height. Her curly flaxen locks reached just past her shoulders and she looked trim. Lust took over now as he approached her.
“Hey,” he said as he came to stand beside her.
She turned towards him and her blue-green eyes penetrated his. She licked her pink shiny lips tightening his groin.
“Hi.” She said with a wide smile. Her sea coloured eyes held his, her intention clear.
“I’m Lucas.” He said offering his hand. Her feminine hand and long delicate fingers grasped his.
“Sasha.”
She let her hand linger for a moment before removing it.
“Sasha, I’m going to be really honest with you here ...”
“I think I know what you’re going to say and let’s save the pretences. We both know why most of us come here.”
“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”
“It’s a lonely life being a cop. I’ve only been in the force for a couple of years but forming relationships with the hours we work and the things we see ... sometimes all we need is some company.”
Lucas ran a hand over her silky hair and studied her face for a moment before kissing her lightly. He trailed kisses from her mouth to her jaw and came to rest near her ear.
“Shall we get out of here?” He whispered to her.
“I’ll get my bag.”