5
Ambition and Lust
Lucas’ eighteenth birthday welcomed him early with a sharp rap on his bedroom door and was proceeded by the entry of Carrie carrying a tray full of breakfast.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she said. “I wanted to keep up the tradition.”
Since they were both about five Mabel had always delivered breakfast in bed on their birthday. Carrie’s thoughtful gesture caused a tug at his lips and he offered a small smile. It brought happy memories and caused only a little pain.
“No, it’s nice, thanks.”
“Happy birthday, Lucky.” He offered her a small frown at the endearment which she ignored.
“Thanks.”
“I got you this.”
“Carrie, you don’t have to buy me presents.”
“I wanted to. Open it.”
Inside the neatly wrapped gold paper lay a black leather-bound journal, his initials LAH etched into the front in gold.
“I thought you might want to write down your thoughts, a timeline of your life so to speak.”
“It’s nice, thanks, nothing else though, okay? I don’t want a fuss. The breakfast is great but nothing else.”
“Okay I get it, nothing else.” She smiled.
He tucked into his breakfast. Carrie continued to stare at him.
“What?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to do something today?”
“I have stuff to do.”
“Like what?”
“Stuff. Reading, the gym, you know, usual stuff.”
“It’s your birthday. Don’t you want to do something different?”
“No.”
“If you change your mind ...”
“I won’t, thanks for this.” She shrugged.
He certainly did have something to do today but he wasn’t telling Carrie what it was. He was personally taking his application to the police academy. He hoped this would speed things up a little. Then he was going to the gym. He’d noticed a considerable change in his appearance of late and he was beginning to fill out nicely. He was pleased with the results. His gangly boyish physique was no longer present in the mirror, now he could see the makings of a man.
He glanced at the journal Carrie had so thoughtfully picked out for him. It wouldn’t do any harm to write down his thoughts. Maybe it would help. The nightmares hadn’t stopped, slowed down in frequency, to one or two a week, but hadn’t stopped. His unconscious continually returning him to the night he was pushing thoughts about aside during the day. Seeing them vividly, happy and alive, in sleep, was just as painful, perhaps more so. The dream he was in, when Carrie thankfully woke him, had been a particularly bad one. His birthday brought forth memories of happy times and tormented him in slumber.
It was time to inflict physical pain, it always seemed to help.
After dropping off his application, he went straight to the gym. He pounded and strained through his rotation and was completing his final set when he spotted her.
Her short, petite, tight body was what caught his attention first. She stood across the room with her back to him and he felt an instant attraction to her perfect physique. Her light golden brown hair was tied up although still hung midway down her back. When she finally turned in his direction lust overcame him. Her soft petite features and full mouth, along with her electric blue eyes was breathtaking. His blatant inexperience oozed off him as he stared, but he couldn’t turn away. Since Stacy, his frame of mind and the black cloud of grief had pushed sex far from his mind. He instantly wanted to change that.
“Hi,” she was standing in front of him now. “Couldn’t help but notice your ... interest. My name’s Millie.” She stuck out a delicate manicured hand.
“Um, Lucas.” He wiped his hand before taking hers.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” He had no idea what to say. Stacy had been the first and only girl.
“How old are you?” she asked and he was pleased to hear no infliction.
“I’m eighteen, today actually.”
“Oh, you don’t look it. I would have guessed you were more my age, I’m twenty two.” He shrugged and smiled shyly. “Have you finished your work out?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t say much do you?”
“Not really.”
“Would you … um, like to …”
“Yes.”
They met out the front after showering and changing. She looked delicious in jeans and a tight fitting t-shirt. Her hair was down and as he’d assumed it was very long and straight. An uncontrollable urge to run his fingers through it overcame him. He missed girls, Stacy mostly, but girls in general.
“I don’t usually do this and realize that is probably the standard line used by girls that do but here goes, do you want to come to my place? There’s no-one there and—”
“Yes.” He stepped forward and caressed her hair. It was as soft and silky as it looked. “I … have only been with one girl.”
“It’s okay. This is all pretty new for me too. I don’t usually pick up guys at the gym, or anywhere for that matter. There’s something about you. I was drawn to you and seeing it’s your birthday …”
“It’s probably because I was staring at you.”
“That might have a little to do with it.”
He followed her to her car and she made small talk on the short trip to her house. Nervousness overcame him again and this time for a totally different reason. He knew what to expect this time, however, she was older, maybe more experienced and he was suddenly afraid of what she would think.
“Don’t look so worried. I won’t bite.”
She guided him into the house and her bedroom, removing his t-shirt on the way. Her tiny hands run over his chest, shoulders and arms, exploring his new stronger body.
“Wow, you’re really toned for a guy your age.”
He shrugged. “I spend a lot of time at the gym. I’m hoping to get into the force and want to be as fit as I can.”
“It shows.”
He couldn’t wait any longer. Lifting her off her feet, Lucas wrapped her in his arms and kissed her with all the fire and passion he’d been holding inside for what seemed like an eternity.
Their clothes disappeared with haste and he carried her to bed. He explored her firm lithe body and relished in the feel of her silken skin. Her breasts, although small, were pert with rosy bud nipples which he sought out with his tongue.
Millie took control and sat astride him, easing him inside of her and it took all his control to sustain and not finish right then and there. Watching her take them to the brink and back was his undoing and he sat up to meet her as they reached the peak of desire.
She came to lie next to him and idly trailed her fingers across his chest and stomach while he tried to catch his breath.
“Wow,” he breathed out.
He waited a few moments before he began to kiss her again, trailing them down her body.
“Again?” she asked.
“This time it’s my turn.”
It was dark outside when he roused. He must have dozed off. Millie was sprawled delicately across him in slumber. He eased himself from under her, dressed quietly and then checked the time to find it was late, after eleven. Carrie was going to freak. She obviously didn’t dictate a curfew but he knew she’d be worried about him. Millie stirred and opened her eyes.
“You don’t have to sneak out, there are no strings.”
“I know. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Maybe I’ll see you around.” She smiled. “Happy birthday.”
“Thanks, you were a great present.”
She smiled again, a soft pretty smile. “You’re welcome.”
Thankfully she lived within walking distance and he enjoyed the stroll home. His afternoon and evening with Ally had been incredible, not the same beautiful experience he’d had with Stacy, but great nonetheless. Now he just had to face his sister.
20th June
I decided today was the best day to start writing down ‘my thoughts’. Carrie’s gift surprised me but maybe it will help. I’m not much of a writer and I’m still not really sure what to write about but here goes.
Carrie wasn’t too upset when I got home at least. After her initial rant about how I shouldn’t worry her that way, it died off quick. I apologised and kissed her on the cheek and that made her happy.
Today two things happened. I dropped off my application to the academy and I hope to hear soon that I’ve been accepted. I know this is what I want to do now. I want to get justice for people, the justice Carrie and I have yet to receive. Maybe taking criminals off the streets will help drive away my demons. Something needs to help stop the nightmares.
At least there was Millie today, something good for the first time in months. I miss Stacy but can’t go back there, but sex today helped relax me and was just what I needed to distract me and stop me thinking about other birthdays, birthdays when they were still here. I can’t stop remembering mum the last time I saw her, bloody and dead. I wish I could remember her smiling. At least today had a happy ending.