8
The Rookie
The months at the academy were tough but he was prepared. Exhaustion was his friend every night and his dreams began to fade. Lucas didn’t dream when he was fatigued so he pushed himself to the limit every day. Relieved he’d found his niche in life, he threw himself headlong into studies and training. He aced his exams. His preparation and reading during the past months had served him well.
Time passed quickly. Carrie turned twenty two, Lucas and Nathan spoiling her with dinner, presents and affection. The change in Carrie since meeting Nathan lightened his heart, but did little to encourage him to partake in anything long term. Another trainee warmed his bed during their weekends off, but he kept her at arm’s length. Allegra was cute, sweet and fantastic between the sheets, but his lack of interest in anything more serious was a disappointment to her.
When she’d asked him to meet her parents, he politely declined and then turned her down as gently as he could. She hadn’t taken it well and it’d been messy for a while but she took up with someone else and moved on. More where she came from as far as he was concerned.
With only weeks left of his training he was excited about graduation and beginning his war against crime. His main objective within the force, besides putting low lives behind bars, was to find the callous punks who had killed his parents. He hoped to rise in the ranks, become a detective and investigate murder. Maybe his namesake would prove fruitful and he would get lucky. Not only did he want justice for himself and Carrie, but also for other innocent victims of crime. This was his purpose in life. He would do whatever it took to reach his goal. This detail regarding his ambition he kept to himself as Carrie would be saddened by Lucas’s drive to find retribution. She wished him happiness, despite their grief and heartbreak. She probably believed the change in him lately was because he was moving on and he didn’t want her to think or know any different. Let her believe this was the reason for his renewed vigour.
Graduation occurred a month before his nineteenth birthday. Strong and lean, he was ready to take on the world. He finished top in his class and was highly ranked using firearms. Grit determination and a desire to take down his parent’s killers were his driving force.
His first assignment was night shift desk duty. In his opinion it was simply a paper pushing job, taking reports, answering phone calls and dispatching officers on patrol. More than aware he had to start at the bottom, boredom nevertheless set in. Six months would have to pass before he was reassigned. This time to traffic patrol. Traffic infringement and control, were the main tasks. The tougher calls and other patrol positions needed to be earned. You had to serve your time first. Night after night he went to work and slept during the daylight hours. Dreams seemed to be less frequent when slumbering during the day, Lucas was thankful for this at least.
Carrie and Nathan grew closer and he suspected Nathan was close to proposing. He’d recently finished his final year at law school and had obtained a position in the prosecutor’s office as an assistant after passing the bar. At almost twenty five, he was green but eager to begin his quest within the law enforcement system.
Lucas’ nineteenth birthday came and went uneventfully, he wanted no fuss. A few month before his twentieth birthday, he was assigned to patrol. He’d worked hard at the mundane and it had paid off, he was given a senior officer as a partner and he would begin to attend to calls that he considered real police work. His rookie apprenticeship had been served behind a desk, doing paperwork and handing out traffic infringements however, in his second year on the force, he was a rookie on patrol.
Three years after their parent’s tragic death, the nightmares were lessening, and he was beginning the long difficult road towards detective work. He also continued to avoid a serious girlfriend. The only close relationships he’d maintained were with Carrie and Nathan, who he now considered to be his closest friend. He was happy with this arrangement. Solitude meant no attachment and no attachments meant not having to experience loss. As long as there were girls happy to warm his sheets, he was as content as he could be, all things considered.
Further time passed and his twentieth birthday came and went. Most of his patrol callouts were mild and caused him little grief. In the back of his mind he wondered how he would handle a messy scene, where assault or worse had occurred. This would be his first hurdle and his feelings were mixed regarding the prospect. His journal continued to be part of his routine, his companion to unload his burdens on when he needed solace.
His partner, Chuck Morrison, was ten years his senior and in Lucas’ opinion a great cop. He was medium height and brawny which meant he could intimidate with ease. What he also had in abundance was patience and self-control, which Lucas thought were amicable qualities when it came to law enforcement. Chuck rarely lost his temper and still obtained results. His arrest record was one of the best. Although an excellent cop, Chuck had no ambition to rise in the ranks. He liked to train and mould young minds such as Lucas and was proud of the success rate of his partners. Lucas couldn’t have acquired a better partner in Chuck.
If Lucas wasn’t paired with Chuck, the first murder scene he attended could have gone much worse. Still on nightshift, which suited Lucas best, they were enjoying a dinner of burgers and coke when the call came in, a domestic dispute. Neighbours had called the police after a very loud and heated argument ensued in their street. Assuming they would be merely breaking up a fight, Lucas wasn’t prepared. Chuck knew nothing of Lucas’ past and that was the way he wanted it to stay, he had told no-one about that fateful night and never planned to.
As Chuck drove, as always, he kept a monologue of conversation and this also suited Lucas perfectly. The less he had to speak the better.
“Hudson, you really should join me tomorrow night at ‘In Blue’, lots of good looking ladies, uniformed and civilian. The ones who aren’t cops are fascinated with us and are easy pickings. As you well know, this is why I’ve never married. Lots of willing girls, why settle with just one?”
Chuck was a good, honest guy but loved playing the field. He had come close to getting married once but she’d run off with his much younger partner. He never really got over it and now spread his love around, as he so eloquently put it. Lucas maintained the same credo, however Chuck didn’t know it was for a totally different reason. He simply believed that Lucas was sowing his wild oats.
“I might just do that, Chuck. I haven’t been laid for a couple of weeks.”
Lucas knew how to walk the walk and talk the talk, even though there was a tiny part of him that felt bad about using girls. Some wanted more and having to politely detach was somewhat difficult. Lucas’s outside demeanour was much different to the kind, passionate, affectionate Lucky lost inside, lying dormant.
“That’s my boy. We’ve got the night off, might as well take advantage of it.”
They’d arrived at the address and Lucas was grateful the conversation would be over. He wanted zero commitments but he didn’t want to be an asshole either.
The house seemed unnervingly quiet and he wondered if it was a false alarm. Their knocks went unanswered, so Chuck instructed him to stay put while he checked the rear entrance. Five minutes passed until he returned looking grim.
“Looks like we might be too late,” he told Lucas sadly.
He drew his weapon and indicated for Lucas to do the same. Chuck banged on the front door again before trying the handle, it was unlocked.
“Police!” he called as he entered the house. Lucas followed. “We’re here to make sure everything’s alright.”
Silence. They searched each room to find them empty. The sitting room and kitchen were void of life so they continued down the hall towards the bedrooms. As they walked past each open door they were greeted by emptiness. At the end of the hall was one final room, the door ajar. Weapons ready, they walked to the door.
Chuck nudged it open with his foot and this was where they found them. She was sprawled across the bed, her chest, arms, and face a mass of red. Her clothes soaked through, the origin of the injuries indeterminate. She was young, early twenties, though it was impossible to know for sure due to the extent of her injuries.
Lucas froze. Slumped in the corner was the second victim, a single gunshot wound to the head, weapon beside his hand. The scene was gruesome and shocking and appeared to be a murder suicide. He couldn’t draw his eyes away from the girl. The empty glaze of her eyes, the bloody mess and her lifeless body so much like … the memories came flooding back. It was no longer a young girl hacked at with thoughtless abandon, instead it was his mother. He couldn’t turn away yet didn’t want to look. He definitely wasn’t dealing with this as well as he’d intended. Sensing his discomfort or perhaps noticing his pallor, Chuck gave him a break.
“Hudson, could you call this in on the radio. We need detectives to attend the scene. I will secure the site ready for their arrival.”
“Sure,” he somehow managed to answer.
Once in the squad car he made the call, and then sat in the car as he attempted to compose his wayward emotions and clear his mind of creeping memories. He thought he could handle it and was disappointed with himself. Joining the force was going to present situations such as these and his ability to handle such incidents was paramount. If he reacted this way to every bloody scene he wasn’t going to last long. He swallowed the lump which had lodged in his throat, pushed his emotions way down and brought forth his strong resolve. He was required to do his job right now; he could deal with the rest later.
Lucas waited outside for the detectives and crime scene technicians. He lit up a smoke, a newly acquired habit formed during endless, boring hours on traffic patrol. It helped calm him somewhat. He really didn’t like the habit, the taste or the smell but it gave him something to do with his hands. The burn distracted his mind from the visions.
When the detectives arrived he advised them where the scene was located and then butt out his smoke. Several minutes later Chuck joined him outside, Lucas, composed for now, put on a stony face. He didn’t want to show weakness to his senior partner.
“Hey kid, you okay?”
“Yeah, Chuck, just my first murder scene, bit of a shock.”
“The first one always is. You handled it well, it’ll get easier.”
Lucas began to doubt it would.
Lucas arrived home as Carrie was leaving for work, his brave mask still attached to his face, or so he thought.
“Lucas,” Carrie said as she passed him at the door. “Are you okay, honey?”
“Yeah, long night.”
“Are you sure? I can open a little late if you want to talk.” He shook his head. Talking about it would not help. “Okay, well, I’ll see you later. You’re not working tonight are you?”
“No.”
“Do you want to do something? I realise I’ve been spending a lot of time with Nathan ... I can cancel my plans.”
“No, I’ll probably go out with the boys. Chuck and a few others have been urging me to join them for weeks.” He couldn’t lift his eyes to hers, knowing she would see through his facade in an instant.
“Get some rest, Lucas, you look terrible.” She kissed him on the cheek.
18th June
I thought I was ready for today. I thought this was why I joined the force, to face my demons, to help bring justice but I feel torn apart. I couldn’t handle it. How am I going to be a detective if I can’t handle a bloody scene? Maybe I should confide in Chuck but I don’t want to be personal, I want work to be my life, bringing my home life in any way into my job would be a bad idea. I nearly blew it today. The nightmares were fading and I felt as though my apprenticeship served was getting me closer to my goal. Not today. Despair and disappointment were not my friend today. Time to see if I can sleep dream free.
Sleep didn’t come easily. The bloody scene flashed across his mind every time he closed his eyes. Fatigue finally won out and he slept fitfully, nightmares afflicting his slumber. Waking up with a familiar start, clammy and ashen with late afternoon sun streaming through the window, Lucas attempted to slow his rampant heart. Every fibre in his body ached with weariness and despair filled his chest. How was he going to do this? How was he ever going to be a good police officer, and in turn become a detective, if he fell apart at the first sign of blood? Annoyed with himself, he reluctantly climbed out of bed and took a cold shower. The chill dulled his aches but the heartache remained. He noted the time and decided a drink with the guys may help to drown his anguish, while a sexy girl may help dull his mind.