I couldn’t suppress the trembling that took over my body. My hands shook uncontrollably as I gripped the steering wheel, trying to get far away from this place but riddled with guilt for not running back to tell the police the truth.
I knew it was the right thing, but I couldn’t force myself to do it. Part of me believed I was just a child back then, the police would understand my reasoning for leaving him there. The other part of me knew better. I fled an accident and left a man for dead.
As I sped down the highway, unsure of where I was going, reality struck me right in my line of sight.
It was him.
An old, blue truck passed me on the highway, and the copper hair was a dead giveaway. A whimper escaped my lips
“Oh my God. Oh my God.” Panic rose inside. Praying. Begging. Struggling. My car began to jerk from the way my quivering legs were unable to control the gas pedal.
I glanced in the rear-view mirror, and through unshed tears, I noticed the tapping of brake lights on the beat-up blue clunker.
I forced my foot on the accelerator a little harder, pushing my car well over the speed limit as I grabbed my phone. With trembling hands, I scrolled down my contacts and dialed the one person I could talk to. At least that’s the way it should have been.
“What, Rachel? I’m a little busy here.” Jackson’s cold tone was like a punch in the stomach. I could hear lawnmowers in the background, so I assumed he was at work and obviously didn’t care enough to take a few seconds out of his day for me.
The realization of my marriage hit me once again. We weren’t the couple we used to be. Jackson wasn’t the husband he used to be. He wasn’t someone I could count on anymore. I didn’t even know why I bothered with him.
“Never mind, Jack.” I could hardly force the words from my lips, my teeth clenched together tightly, before I ended the call.
I drove as fast as my compact car would take me—careful to make sure I wasn’t being followed—while I headed to the one place I knew I could turn to. The one place I felt safe.
“Where’s Mama?” I whispered as I flung Sara’s front door open without knocking.
“Shit, you scared the hell out of me!” Sara jumped from the table she was dusting and clutched the cloth she was holding close to her chest.
“Sorry.” The tears I’d been holding back started to fall, and my lip began to tremble.
“What? What’s wrong?” She dropped the rag onto the table and rushed to my side, putting her arm over my shoulder to guide me to her sofa. I darted my eyes around the room, searching for anyone else in sight.
“She’s asleep, it’s okay. She’s okay. What’s going on?” Her voice was now filled with fear as she forced me to take a seat on the sofa.
“I have to tell you something. Please don’t be mad,” I begged through tears, kicking myself for waiting this long. Sara was my person, and I shouldn’t have kept this from her.
“You’re scaring me.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I let out a ragged breath and tried to gather my composure. I needed to get this out before I changed my mind or broke down completely.
“I saw him that day,” I confessed and stared into my lap as the tears fell onto the hem of my dress.
“What? Who? I’m not following.”
I glanced over and noticed the confused expression on her face. I stared at the little wrinkle that formed between her brows. It was the same look she’d had for as long as I could remember when something was thrown at her that she didn’t quite grasp.
“Him.” I emphasized that single syllable, and recognition crossed her face.
“The day he wrecked?” Sara cocked her head at me, waiting for more of an explanation.
“Yeah. Jackson and I were out riding bikes, and we saw him in the ditch.” I waited a few seconds before finishing the confession I’d been holding onto all these years. “And then we left him there.”
“Damn.”
“So all of this is my fault. People are dying because of me. Now Amie is missing…” The last sentence was too much for me to speak without losing it. I wept into my hands, and my body trembled from the emotions consuming me.
This is all my fault.
“Your boss?” Her eyes were wide as she placed her hand over her mouth.
I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded.
“This isn’t your fault. We don’t even know for sure if he’s the one doing all this.” Her tone didn’t imply the same confidence that her words insinuated.
“I think I just saw him,” I whispered, hiccups causing my head to throb.
“What did you just say?” Her voice sounded calm, but I could tell there was rage bubbling inside her.
“I saw him. When I left the office. I know it was him.” I glanced up at Sara, ignoring the salty tears that stung my raw cheeks.
“You’re sure?” She grabbed my chin and forced me to make eye contact with her.
“I’m pretty sure.” And I was.
It was a quick glance, but there was no one else on this earth that looked the way he did—the red hair that was always frizzy and wild, sunken cheeks that brought out the evil green in his eyes. The snarl that he wore like a second skin. I replayed the moment, trying to see his face clearly. I’d always tried to avoid taking in every feature he had, but now I needed to be sure. The memory was fuzzy, probably from my state of panic and the tears that caused my vision to blur.
“Shit. I think so. Dammit.” I was angry for second-guessing myself. I wanted to be sure. Although, it didn’t really matter. Whether I actually saw his vile face or not, I knew he was responsible for this.
“It’s okay. Stop. Just calm down.” She rubbed my back with the palm of her hand, trying to soothe me.
“Okay. Okay.” I let out a rushed breath and wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“He won’t get any closer to us. I promise.” She stood and went to her front door to secure both of the locks and then returned to her spot beside me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice was soft, but the pain embedded in her words was like a punch in the stomach.
“I don’t know. I’m sorry. You were so young. Jackson and I made a promise to take it to our graves and never tell anyone.” I tried to explain my reasoning, but when I said it out loud, I wanted to kick myself for hiding it from my sister. “But I can’t even talk to him anymore. I’m sorry, I should have told you before now.”
I reached over and pulled her close to me, trying to bridge any gap between us this may have caused.
“Don’t apologize again. It’s done. I’ve got your back. I always will.” She pulled away just enough to look me in the eyes. “But don’t fucking keep any more secrets from me. Fuck that shit. We don’t work that way.”
I nodded. “No. None. I promise.”
“I love you.” She wrapped her arms around me again and held me tight.
“I love you, too.” I finally felt like a weight I’d been carrying all these years had been lifted off my shoulders. I should have told her a long time ago.
“We’ll get through this. I promise. I’ll take that motherfucker out myself if I need to.” Her voice was stern and serious.
I knew either one of us would do whatever was necessary to keep Mama and each other safe.
He forced us to live in fear under the reign of his ways for most of our childhood—and many years of my adulthood if I were honest. But we weren’t kids anymore.