“Pretty soon, we won’t need these piece-of-shit bikes to get around. I’ll have a real set of wheels.” Jackson pumped the back tire of my second-hand bicycle full of air for the third time this week.
“Yeah, that’ll be cool.” I tried to be supportive, but the truth was, I was unsure how he planned to get a car. But I didn’t want to be a dream crusher and slam reality in his face. That’s not how I worked—it’s not how we worked. We had dreams of getting out of this place, and one of these days, we would make it happen…even if I didn’t know how.
Jackson straightened his lean body and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. He placed one between his lips and inhaled deeply once the flame of his lighter touched the end. I watched his chest puff out and then relax as he blew the smoke past his lips.
He smoked all the time now, and it got on my nerves a little. I hated the smell that radiated around him when he did, and the scent it left behind was even worse. He even noticed me cringe when he tried to kiss me after smoking one night. He didn’t kiss me again for over a month after that. I felt guilty, but I couldn’t help it—the stench reminded me of things I couldn’t stand.
We were back to kissing now though, and I usually just tried to ignore the smell as best as I could. It had been over two years since the first time under the old tree, and I was convinced Jackson was the only boy I would ever kiss. And do anything else with, for that matter. And I was okay with that most of the time. Jackson never pushed me to go further, and I often wondered why. I thought boys wanted to do things with girls. It bothered me, thinking maybe I wasn’t good enough to have sex with, or even try. I wasn’t ready for that stuff anyway, but it would have been nice to be wanted.
Maybe.
I wasn’t sure.
My emotions were all over the place these days, even worse than normal. I assumed it was my ever-changing hormones.
Besides, the boys at school didn’t like me that way. I thought it might be different once I started high school in the fall. But Jackson would also be there, and I wasn’t sure how that would work. Part of me just figured our relationship was a secret that would carry over once we went to the same school. But we hadn’t discussed it. I wanted to bring it up a hundred times but never did. He was going to be a junior, and I would only be in the ninth grade. It wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t want to be seen with me.
I pushed my heavy thoughts away before Jackson caught on. I always felt like he could read my mind, and I wasn’t in the mood to discuss this now. I just wanted to go for a bike ride down the long, winding roads before it got late. Mama would want me home before dark, and I didn’t want to worry her. She had enough to worry about without my adding to it.
“That should be good enough—for tonight, anyway.” Jackson squeezed his long fingers against the back tire.
We both hopped on our bikes and started down the long road. These rides were always relaxing and helped me breathe a little easier. I forgot about my life at home and just concentrated on the road with the wind blowing in my hair as I pedaled faster down the winding paths of dirt.
We rode in silence, taking each corner side by side and smiling at one another every chance we got. A strange scent caught my attention, and I inhaled a little deeper trying to place the familiar smell.
I looked over at Jackson, who must have noticed the same thing, his eyes glancing straight ahead intently, then wandering to the left.
I followed his line of sight with my own stare and then noticed a puff of smoke coming from the ditch about fifty feet away. We both pedaled faster with the scent getting stronger the closer we got.
My breathing hitched, and both of our bikes came to a screeching halt.
A mangled motorcycle lay in the deep ditch, the back wheel still spinning. I studied the wreckage before looking to my left. Duane’s body lay on the ground, a long rip in his jeans, blood covering the denim. His wild, copper hair covered his face, a streak of crimson across his cheek. His eyes fluttered, and when the wheel came to a stop, silence filled the air—other than a quiet groan that came from his lips.
His eyes met mine, and I couldn’t move. The evil glow in his pupils pierced straight into me, through me. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. I just stared at his face, watching the saliva spill from his chapped lips, and the moans continued.
“What the fuck?” Jackson spoke, pulling me from my state of shock and drawing my attention to the familiar voice next to me.
“What do we do?” My voice croaked. Fear washed over me, and my body started to tremble.
Jackson stared down at Duane. His fingers were still wrapped so tightly around his handlebars the knuckles were white.
“Let’s go.” Jackson glanced at Duane before looking back at me.
“What?”
“Let’s go,” he repeated, his voice commanding my attention. He placed his boot on the pedal and moved farther away from the wreckage, and farther away from me.
So I did the only thing I knew to do. I followed him. I pedaled my bike as fast as my legs would allow, trying my best to keep up with Jackson. He looked back at me twice, and I knew he was making sure I was still behind him. My body shook and sweat ran down my face. And we rode…as fast as we could.
I couldn’t think straight. The image of his eyes burned into my memory, and the smell of the rubber was forever ingrained in me. The fear of what he would do to me for leaving him there punched me in the stomach. I knew we should go back. I knew we should call for help. Not because I wanted to help him, but because I was scared of my punishment if I didn’t. He would make me pay.
He would make all of us pay.
But the damage was done. He’d seen me. He’d watched me leave. I wouldn’t survive what I just did. My fate was sealed. But I didn’t stop pedaling.
We made our way to Jackson’s house, then cut through the field, not slowing down until we reached our safe place.
Although, I knew I wasn’t safe.
I would never be safe.
Not now.
We dropped our bikes and darted into our shed. The hot air was sweltering in the closed space. We were both breathing heavily and dropped down onto the dirt.
“I can’t…I can’t believe we just left him,” I spoke through ragged breaths, trying to collect my thoughts.
“He didn’t deserve help.” Jackson’s voice remained much more even than mine and without a hint of fear.
“But he’s going to hurt me for leaving him there. It’ll be worse than anything he’s ever done before.” I rubbed my finger over the fresh scar on the top of my leg as I curled up, pulling my knees to my chest.
“No, he won’t.” He scooted closer to me and draped his arm, dripping with sweat, over my shoulder.
Tears slid down my cheeks, the reality of what we had done sinking in. “Yes, he will.”
“Rach…did you see him? There’s no way he’s going to survive that. Not by the time someone finds him. He’ll be long gone before that happens.” He tried to reassure me, but I couldn’t believe him.
Pure evil didn’t give up that easily.
I couldn’t be lucky enough for him to die. He would live simply to make sure he punished me for this.
We didn’t speak another word. I stared straight ahead while I heard the flint of Jackson’s lighter spark, and then the smell of his cigarette engulfed our shed.
But I couldn’t move. I stared straight ahead.
For the next fifty-two minutes, I remained completely still.
Until I heard the sirens in the distance.