Chapter 29

Alexei

We’ve been healing for weeks. I refused to let Clara leave but for the most part, I’ve avoided her completely. The urge to go to her and take her in my arms is stronger than ever but I need to be rational. I’m not of sound mind right now with everything I’ve learned. In fact, I’m even more on edge because she doesn’t even know her father is still alive out there somewhere. I have my men looking, searching anywhere and everywhere. We have a faint trail that I intend to follow up on, but it seems like every time we get close, he just moves again. It truly maddens me.

“She’s going insane, you know?” Alina says as she steps into my office.

“And what would you like me to do?” I swallow what’s left in my glass and set it back on my desk when Alina comes closer. She rests her hands on the desk, looking me in the eye.

“Talk to her. Stop avoiding her like she has the plague for starters. You are slowly driving her mad, Alexei.”

“She’s right. You need to come now, Alexei. She is threating to kill herself again,” Dmitry says when he shows up in the doorway. I shove out of my chair and give Alina a look before following him down the hall. When I enter her room, I gasp. Clara stands in the corner, her eyes wild like she’s prey caught in the sights of the predator. In a way she is.

“What are you doing, воробей?” I ask as I carefully step toward her. Foot by foot, I take my time trying to draw her attention to me.

“I can’t do this, Alexei. Not anymore! Don’t you see that?” Tears spill down her cheeks breaking my heart. I can’t see her like this, so broken and lost. This isn’t my Sparrow.

“We aren’t doing anything, Clara. You need to put that razor blade down.”

“No. I want it over! I can’t be held here any longer, Alexei. I need to be free,” she screams pressing the blade a little harder. I can see her flinch and the tiny drop of blood as it leaks down her soft skin. My insides clench knowing that Clara is strong enough to do it. She has that mindset right now and nothing can stop her. I hope that part isn’t true.

“Everyone out,” I say looking over my shoulder. They all leave the room, the door closing behind them.

“Did you not listen to me the other night when I told you it kills me when you aren’t near me?” Her eyes come to meet mine and a sadistic smirk crosses her face. I’ve never seen this look on her.

“And yet you somehow managed while I’ve been locked away in a room,” she sneers, spitting her venom my way. Something flares in my chest when she’s like this.

“I have and that’s my fault. I have been trying to control myself, but there is also something you don’t know that I think you should,” I tell her holding my hand out to her. I want her to take it on her own. I don’t want to force anything on her. When she moves to lower the blade and steps toward me, my heart skyrockets. Her small hand slips into my mine and I pull her against me. The contentment that I feel with her pressed against me is foreign. I’ve never needed someone the way I need her. I lean down and inhale her scent, memorizing it.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Alexei,” she says softly, her breath lingering on my skin. It’s pure fucking heaven in our world of hell.

“Your father is alive. As are a few of his men. The men that took you, hurt you, are all dead,” I whisper softly. I don’t want to traumatize her any more than she already is. Her body trembles as she pulls away from me and stares up at me with those vacant eyes.

“He can’t be. How?” I shake my head unsure of how to answer that.

“I honestly don’t know. I thought they were all dead in the explosion. I thought you…” I can’t finish it. It hurts too much to say the words. Her head tilts slowly to the side taking me in.

“You thought I was dead,” she says softly. I nod my head and watch her move. She tosses the razor blade to the floor and crashes her lips against mine. The kiss is heated, passionate, and full of everything you could ever want. She isn’t worried about her father right now. She’s worrying about me. Her tongue slowly slips into my mouth, her taste exploding on my senses. I grind my body against hers and she moans into my mouth. I reach for her waist and lift her in my arms. Clara wraps her legs around my waist as I carry her to the bed. Laying her down, I kiss her frantically. I climb off her and jerk my slacks down my legs, kicking them to the side, as Clara works herself out of her jeans. I groan at the sight of her laid out before me. I don’t want to rush this. I don’t want to hurt her as I’ve always done. I want her to feel me, feel what I feel for her. I need that connection with her. I climb between her parted thighs and slowly slip inside of her. When I lean down and kiss her gently, she moans.

“I need you, Alexei. More than I need air,” she whispers as I slowly move inside of her. I’ve missed her, more than I care to admit but being with Clara is everything to me.

“You have me, Clara. All of me. Never doubt that, воробей. I don’t know what you did to me, but I can’t live without you. I can’t breathe,” I admit as my cock jerks inside of her. Clara moans, her parted lips looking so perfect. I pull out slowly only to push back into her.

“Alexei, I need you to fuck me hard. Please,” she begs. It’s like music to my sickened ears. I don’t question her. I don’t tell her that I wanted to make her feel my love. I lift her leg over my shoulder and pound into her. My hand slides up her body, wrapping around my favorite part of her. With her throat locked in my grasp, I tighten my hold watching her eyes widen. I take her harder and faster, loving the way her pulse jumps against my fingers as I cut off her air supply. Her body writhes and clenches, taking hold of every part of me. My cock jerks again as my balls tighten. A tingle races down my spine as I explode inside of her. Clara comes with me, her nails scraping along my skin. I grunt as I fill her full of me, feeling her slickness envelop me. I lean down and press my lips to her ear, kissing her and whispering how much I need her.

“I love you, Sparrow. I love you,” I whisper the words over and over loving the way her body clenches each time.

“I love you, Alexei. More than you could know.”

“Rest now. We have big plans, you and I.”

“What plans do we have?” She asks while she yawns.

“You are going to be my wife, Clara. I’ve told you I can’t live without you. I don’t like the feelings I have when you aren’t near me. The way I can keep you is by making you my wife,” I inform her.

“You can’t just tell me that we’re getting married!” She tries to protest which is cute but that doesn’t change anything.

“I can, and I did. You will marry me. Now sleep,” I tell her kissing the top of her head and holding her body against me. I never want to let her go. As her body slowly relaxes, I can feel her breathing even out. I know she’s asleep and I’m perfectly content on holding her like this for the rest of our lives.