Zayn

I woke with a headache and stretched, which was a mistake. Pain exploded, and I cringed. When I cracked my eyes open, surprise hit. I wasn’t at the church. Then it all hit me, and I smiled a little before shaking my head.

Mrs. Johnson had told my mom off. Oh yeah, she’d told her how it was going to be. I couldn’t have been happier. I stood and then sat back down fast. The room spun, or maybe I did. There was a knock at the door, and I stood, but it was too much.

“Come in,” I called out as I sat again.

The door cracked open. It was Mrs. Johnson. “Hey, I thought I heard you. I have breakfast made and some juice. Also, another painkiller.”

“Um, so my clothes and my bag, they’re stashed in the alley. Do you think we could go get it?”

“Sure. I took the day off work so we could take care of a few things, like enrolling you in school. Your mom emailed me your records and a few other items.”

I nodded then moved to stand. She grabbed me under the arm and helped me to the bathroom. “I’d like to shower.”

“How about a bath? And why don’t we save that for after we get your bag? That way you can change into your clothes if any of them are clean, or you can wear some of Dave’s things, though he is bigger than you.”

I nodded, feeling a little weird about wearing someone else’s clothes. After using the restroom and brushing my teeth with the toothbrush she’d given me yesterday, I made my way to the kitchen. I heard the door slam and slowed my steps. When I entered the kitchen, Mrs. Johnson turned and gave me a real smile. I had lived with my mom long enough to know a fake smile when I saw one, and this one was real.

“Okay, how about some breakfast?” The sound of a vehicle roaring to life outside caused her to frown. Now she looked upset.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry about that.”

“I don’t have to stay here.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course you’re staying here.”

Did she really mean it? Having a roof over my head made me feel better. Fear ruled on the streets, but I didn’t want to tell Jason how scared I’d been. Mrs. Johnson fixed me an egg sandwich and made me drink a glass juice and take a pain pill before we loaded into the car. By the time we hit the alleyway where I’d left my bag, my face was a little numb. She walked down the alley with me and picked up my bag. Maybe it was the medicine or something else, but I felt off. On the way back to the car, a cop stopped. Fear hit me, and I almost ran. Instead, Mrs. Johnson grabbed my arm and pulled me close.

The cop got out, his hand on the butt of his gun. “Cait, what are you doing with him?”

“Excuse me? I don’t think that’s the appropriate tone to take with me, Officer Baldwin.”

I guessed her name was Cait. Now I knew that, and that the cop’s name was Baldwin.

He puffed out his chest, trying to look taller. “He’s a criminal.”

“No, he’s a child who someone beat up yesterday. Was it you? Do we need to claim police brutality?”

Baldwin lifted his hands and shook his head. “No, why would you say that, Cait?”

“I’m Mrs. Johnson to you. And you’d best remember that. I’m calling Chief Monroe when I get home, and I will have a chat about police brutality and how you treat youth. Then I’m going to the council meeting and see what they say about that.”

Mrs. Johnson squeezed my arm tighter, and we moved. Shock coursed through me. No one had ever stuck up for me. Sure, I’d been a screw-up before, but I think if I had someone in my corner, cheering me on, I wouldn’t have felt the urge to sneak out. Maybe I wouldn’t have even tried a joint.

Once in her car, she blew out a breath. “Don’t ever talk to the police like that. I know his mother. I changed his diapers when he was a child. You can only do that once. Next time he’ll be ready for my venom. I need to call the mayor when I get home. So do you want to take a bath while I wash your clothes?”

I nodded then spoke. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you for sticking up for me. I don’t think any adult ever has.”

“Well, that will change. And, Zayn, there are a few things we need to talk about and rules.”

I wasn’t surprised. I’d been out for hours, and Mrs. Johnson had my mom’s information. Who knows how much she said about me?

Dave was home when we got there. He looked like he’d just finished running a mile or maybe more. He didn’t have his shirt on, and his shorts were low on his hips.

“Hey, Mom, we need more milk,” he called out before he turned around. His gaze flashed to me and his eyes grew wide.

“Zayn, this is Dave, my son. Zayn is going to live with us for a while,” she said as she moved into the den.

Dave’s eyes swept down my body. I felt like he was appraising me like a piece of meat, but I had Jason, and I didn’t want anyone else.

“Oh, and, Zayn, just drop your bag where you are. I’ll sort through and find you clothes to wear.”

“Um…” I didn’t want her touching my underwear. Also, I had one joint left in the bag I was saving for something, I didn’t know what.

“Listen, Zayn, I’ll be washing your clothes, so I’ll see all of your clothes.”

I nodded but now I was more worried about the joint. “Um, can we talk outside?”

“Sure. Dave, go take your shower but make it short. Don’t use all the hot water. And you have that meeting in less than an hour with your guidance counselor for college. You can take the Skype in the dining room and use my laptop. So you only have about five minutes to shower because you have to get set up.”

Dave nodded then glanced away. “Do you think that if I took a theater class Dad would freak out?”

She turned to Dave and stepped closer, her expression warm. “I don’t care if he does. If you want to do theater, you do that.”

Dave’s eyes cut to me and then back to his mom. “Dad will throw a fit.”

“Maybe he needs to have a fit. I’m tired of us hiding who we are.”

“What does that mean?” Dave asked.

She lifted her brow but didn’t say anything. Dave’s cheeks turned red, and he turned away, but his mom put her hand on his shoulder. “I love you. I don’t care—” she cleared her throat. “I’m going to love you no matter what.”

Dave nodded and then left the room. Mrs. Johnson waved me outside. She motioned for me to sit at a black, wire table.

“So, what do you have to say?”

“I…um, when I lived in Washington with my mom, I may not have been the best person.”

Cait nodded. “She warned me.”

I looked up, my heart squeezing as fear wound through me. “What did she say?”

“How about let’s forget what she said and focus on what you can do to live up to the person you want to be here?”

I nodded, not really sure I understood what she meant. “So I have one joint in my bag I haven’t smoked.”

“Why don’t you give it to me, and I’ll flush it.”

I nodded, wondering why I’d told her. I liked getting high, but after meeting Jason, I wondered if there was another way to live. Maybe I didn’t need the drugs. “Okay. I think I can do that.”

“Zayn, that’s one of the rules here. No drugs. Don’t go out and get high.”

I nodded and stood. She reached out and took my hand. “We can work through things if you talk. I know you don’t know me, but I’m on your side.”

I wanted a hug, but she was right, I didn’t know her. My mom had rarely shown affection, so I wasn’t sure why I wanted this stranger to hold me. She must have seen something in my eyes because she stood and pulled me into a hug, holding me tight. I didn’t cry, but tears were close.

The door opened behind us, and I took a step back before turning. Dave was there, his gaze curious.

“There are bath salts under the sink, do you know what those are?” Mrs. Johnson asked.

“Um, no.”

“Dave, could you show him? Then I want to talk to you about theater.”

Dave nodded then went back inside. I followed him to the bathroom where he opened a cabinet and handed me a bag. “Use about a cup. Warm water and soak for at least twenty minutes.”

I swallowed over my nervousness. “Okay.”

“Football.”

“What?”

“I got banged up a lot playing football. My mom kept this in here for me.”

“Oh.”

“So what’s your deal?”

Unsure of the situation with him, I shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Why are you here?”

Was Dave going to be an ass? “I don’t really know.”

“Well, my mom never takes in strangers. I’m not sure what your story is but be nice to her. She doesn’t deserve the shit she’s had to put up with lately.”

I nodded absently, thinking I’d put up with a lot of shit too. I took the bag and hugged it close to my chest. “Thank you.”

Dave huffed out a breath and turned to leave. “Oh, and just stay out of the way when my dad gets home. Find something to do like reading a book or anything. You’ll be better off.”

I nodded, and he left the bathroom. I shut the drain and poured in the bath salts before I turned on the water and let it fill halfway up the tub while I undressed. When I slid in, I turned off the water. That’s when I remembered I hadn’t given her my joint. Maybe she’d find it. I heard her and Dave’s voice. Not the words, just the sound of them speaking. Then I heard her singing something. The tune was catchy. I imagined her talking about singing on stage as I leaned my head back and sunk down deeper in the water. I closed my eyes, listening to the hum of Dave’s and Cait’s voices.

Back home with my mom, there’d only been silence. The quiet void of no love, and no hope. I wasn’t sure how to deal with living in a house with others. How did people care about each other? I had no idea what it would look like to have someone actually care about me. What would I have to do to get that? With the guys in Washington, it was drugs or sex. With Mr. Foley it had only been sex. My mom had never loved me, not really. Grandma was just mean. I got the feeling Jason loved me and didn’t care if I gave him anything or did anything for him. He would love me no matter what. But Mrs. Johnson, what would that feel like?

A knock sounded on the door and my eyes flashed open. “Zayn, it’s Mrs. Johnson. All of your clothes were dirty. I left a pair of shorts with a drawstring in them and a shirt outside the door. I’m washing your clothes, and they’ll be ready later. You okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Dave’s Skype call starts in about two minutes. When you finish, just be quiet.”

“I will. And thank you.”

She walked away from the door, and I decided my fingers and toes had pruned enough I should get out of the tub. I popped the plug, and after it was almost empty, I stood and stepped out of the tub. I heard talking as I dried off and guessed it was Dave talking to his guidance counselor. He laughed. I guessed it was going well.

After I dressed, I brushed my teeth again then stared at myself in the mirror. I had two more years of high school, and then I’d be on my own. It had been frightening living on the streets. I wasn’t sure how I’d make it out there with no support.

I opened the door and heard Dave. He was saying he wanted to do theater. A woman spoke, her voice a little too low for me to hear.

“That’s what I thought,” Dave said.

The woman spoke again, and Zayn moved closer to the dining room, listening to her talk. “Well, we can get you into an intro to theater class. It’s the basics, and you’ll do one play at the end of the semester.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Good. So we’re set. You’ll do your basics and football in addition to theater.”

“Thank you for helping me figure this out.”

“It’s my job. I love helping young people discover what they want to do. After our last chat, it seems like maybe you know yourself a little better.”

Dave grunted. “I think so.”

“Good. So all you have to do is open the email I just sent you and click the link. You’ll confirm the classes and be on your way. Classes start in three weeks. Remember freshman orientation is in two weeks, and I’ll be there. Come introduce yourself.”

“I will. And thank you.”

“Goodbye, Dave.”

The session ended as I stepped into the dining room. Dave was busy on his computer and didn’t glance up for a while. I looked around at photos and paintings on the walls. This house was a home. I wondered if my mom had stopped drinking. I used to clean up after her, but who would do that now? A very tiny part of me cared, but not really. She’d known I was on the streets and didn’t once try to help me.

“You all set?” I asked.

Dave glanced up, his lips stretching wide in a smile. “Sure am. I can’t wait.”

“So what are you taking?”

“The basics. Math, English, history, and biology, I have football and theater. It’ll be intense, but I’m excited.”

“Do you want to work in the theater?”

“I’m thinking about it. Actually…” Dave glanced around then turned to face me. “I’d like to do set design. I like building things. I’m not good enough to be a real football player. I’m doing it this year because my dad was excited I made the team. I’ll probably never see any action, though.”

I nodded, unsure how good of a player he was. “So was your mom right, you know, about your dad being angry?”

“Yeah, but there’s not much else I want to do. I mean, I am young, but being a set designer, maybe directing, that would be fun.”

“What do you think your dad would want you to be?”

“He said I needed to take business management like he did, but no way am I doing that. I’d rather slog through chemistry than do business.”

I had no clue what I’d do. I hadn’t even really thought about my future other than getting out of my mom’s house.

“So you were in school here last year, where did you live before?”

“Near Seattle.”

“Oh, what are you doing here?”

I shrugged, not wanting to tell him the full story. “My mom sent me to live with my Grandma.”

“Didn’t work out?”

“You could say that.”

“Oh, there you are,” Mrs. Johnson came into the room and moved to sit beside Dave. “How did it go?”

Dave’s lips turned up into a huge smile. “I’m registered.”

“Good. I’m proud of you for picking what you wanted.”

Dave laughed. “Don’t tell Dad yet.”

“He’ll look at your schedule.”

“He’ll throw a fit, and I don’t want to deal with it today.”

Mrs. Johnson nodded and then turned to face me. “I took care of that other thing, and your clothes are almost finished in the washer. I think you need more for school, so let’s go shopping.”

“I have money.”

“Good, we’ll set up a bank account for you. We’ll take part of what your mom is sending each week and put it in your account.”

“No, I meant I could pay for my clothes.”

She shook her head. “Your mom is paying for that. We’ll make sure you have money saved. Maybe you could get a job at one of the local shops. Of course, school comes first.”

“Whatever you do, don’t even think of playing football,” Dave said.

I looked at him, my eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “My dad would be brutal on you.”

Mrs. Johnson frowned. “Don’t say that about your dad.”

“You know it’s true, Mom.”

“But you shouldn’t say stuff like that about your father.”

Dave looked like he wanted to say more but only shook his head. “I have to go up next week for football practice.”

“I know,” Mrs. Johnson said.

“Okay, I’m going to talk to the guy who runs the theater program.”

“Good.”

“You’ve got to stand up for me, Mom.”

She nodded before she got up and headed into the kitchen. I met Dave’s gaze, and he mouthed no football. I nodded and watched as Dave gathered his things.

“What about soccer?”

Dave glanced over his shoulder before speaking, his voice low. “That’s a sissy sport according to my dad. But if you play, you should go out for the team.”

“Thanks. I probably will.”

Mrs. Johnson came in and brought the burner phone and my old phone. “Your mom turned service on for your old phone. There are a few old texts that popped up. They may not be people you want to keep communicating with.”

I nodded. “How did you get her to do all that stuff?”

She smirked and then huffed out a laugh. “She doesn’t want to go to jail. What she did was wrong. You don’t abandon your kids.”

Dave was putting away the laptop and gathering his notes. He gave a little wave before leaving the room. I opened the burner phone and saw Jason had called.

“Um, can I call Jason?”

“Sure. I don’t know how many minutes you have on that phone, so maybe you could give him your new number and then you two can talk. I need to run to the store, but I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay. And, Mrs. Johnson, thank you.”

She moved close and her arms came around me. The hug lasted longer than any of the hugs I’d shared with my mother. My emotions were all over the place, and tears filled my eyes. How could this stranger care more about me than my own mom had? I’d needed this so much but hadn’t known. What I had with Jason was special, but I needed a mom and now I had someone in my corner.

She patted my back and then rubbed circles between my shoulder blades. The pressure, the anger, the disappointment all seemed to fade. I knew I’d be happy here. This wasn’t just a place to sleep, this woman had brought me into her family. When I finished crying, she stepped away and said nothing about it. I picked up the phone and dialed Jason. He answered on the first ring.

“Oh my God, I was going to call you. How are you?”

I chuckled and then sighed. “I’m good.”

“Can I come over?”

“I think so.”

“I’m on my way.”

He hung up before I could tell him the address, but I guessed he knew. Mrs. Johnson left for the store, and Dave took off, heading to a friend’s house. When a knock sounded on the door, I wasn’t sure what I should do. I went to the front hall and waited until the knock sounded again. When I opened the door, Jason moved fast, tugging me into a hug. We both laughed, and then he stepped into the house and shut the door. His lips were on mine, and I drew in a slow breath, relaxing in his arms.

He ended the kiss and stepped back, his eyes searching mine. “How are you?”

“I’m good.”

His fingers were on my face then my shoulders, his eyes searching mine. “I’ve been so worried.”

“I think this is going to work.”

Jason bit his lower lip and glanced to the room behind me. “Are they here?”

I shook my head and glanced around. “It’s weird.”

“I’m sure. How is Dave’s dad?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t really see him. I heard them fighting this morning.”

“Oh.” Jason took my hand, and we walked into the den and sat on a couch. He stayed close and didn’t let go of my hand. “So how is Dave?”

“Um, nice I guess. He was doing stuff for college this morning.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess he is leaving soon.”

“Do you think Mrs. Johnson will let me stay?”

He nodded, and I felt better. His lips tempted me. I leaned in, brushing mine against his. The moan from him vibrated all the way to my toes. Being with Jason felt perfect. I never wanted him to leave me. Maybe with me living here, we could make it.

Jason moved a little and our kiss deepened. Need filled me and I pulled him closer. I was getting hard when I heard the garage door open. I sat up, guilt filling me.

Jason hopped up, his eyes wide. “Who do you think that is?”

“I don’t think it’s Mr. Johnson. Cait, Mrs. Johnson, went to the store.”

“Okay. I guess we should go help.”

Jason moved into the kitchen, and we both headed to what looked like a door to the garage. When he stepped out, Mrs. Johnson glanced up and her eyes narrowed.

“Jason, I didn’t know you were here.”

“Um, yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t know if he could come over or not,” I said.

She gave me a smile and then handed a few bags over to Jason. “Carry those in. And, Zayn, you need to rest. Go sit.”

I moved to the kitchen and watched as she put away the groceries. Jason helped as much as he could, but he wasn’t familiar with the house or where she liked her food. After they finished, she opened a bag of chips and poured some onto a plate then poured some salsa into a bowl.

She pointed to the table. “Sit, let’s talk.”

Worry filled me. I wasn’t sure what would happen. We all sat at one end of the table and snacked on the chips.

“Are you two dating?”

Her question made me want to deny everything, but Jason nodded. She smiled and then reached out, taking one of my hands and one of Jason’s.

“Okay, so same rules apply if you were dating a girl. No going into the bedroom and closing the door. No sleepovers. No going out on dates until schoolwork is complete. You two have plenty of time to have adult relationships and experiment with sex. First be young and get to know each other. You’ll have time for that other stuff later.”

Jason’s face was red and mine was hot. I guessed this was the appropriate level of conversation to have with a parent. The chaos I’d lived with before made this seem just so odd.

“You okay with that, Zayn?”

“Yes, ma’am. I was just thinking about how life had been with my mom. It’s weird.”

“What’s weird?” she asked then took a chip and bit into it.

“You actually talking to me. She was either drunk or working. I don’t think she paid attention to what was going on until I got into trouble.”

Jason cleared his throat. “If my mom finds out I’m gay, she’ll flip.”

Cait nodded. “Well, we’ll figure it out. But I gotta say, I can’t tell them how to raise you. If she decides you can’t date Zayn, I’ll have to respect their wishes.”

“That’s so unfair,” Zayn said.

“It may be unfair, but you two will only be juniors in high school. Once you graduate, or when you turn eighteen, you can date whoever you want.”

Jason nodded and met Zayn’s gaze. “Maybe we should tell people we’re just friends.”

Anger rose inside, and I felt like Jason was abandoning me. “But we aren’t just friends.”

He shook his head and held out his hand. “No, we’re not, but I don’t want to lose you because my parents freak out.”

“I don’t think you should lie,” Mrs. Johnson said. She lifted her hand when it looked like Jason would argue. “When you’re first dating and getting to know each other, you’re more like friends. Plus, how much dating can you do in a town like this? It’s not LA or New York or even Atlanta.”

I drew in a slow breath and nodded. “Okay, I get that.”

“So for the next year, we’re friends who won’t date anyone else,” Jason said.

I held his gaze, and the corners of his lips turned up as he squeezed my hand. “We’re good friends.”

“Good friends. But just don’t come over to my house. Mrs. Johnson, I swear we won’t abuse your trust,” Jason said.

“Good. Now then, I need to do some cleaning and prepare the meat for tonight’s dinner. You two can go sit outside on the patio and talk. I don’t think Zayn should go for a walk with his injuries. We need to get you enrolled in school soon. And then after you figure out your class schedule, we can see about getting you a part time job.”

This was better than I ever thought it would turn out. “Thank you.”

Mrs. Johnson gave them both a quick hug before she headed to the other end of the house. Jason put the plate and dirty bowl in the sink then led me outside. We sat in the shade of the patio, Jason holding my hand after we settled.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I think so.”

“Are you okay with us pretending like we’re not dating?”

I shrugged. “As long as I get to sneak kisses every once in a while, I’m fine.”

Jason’s lips curved up. “I like the idea of kissing you.”

“Good. We can’t right now because Mrs. Johnson can see us.”

“I get that. Later, when you walk me out through the garage, maybe we can kiss.”

I sighed and shut my eyes, trying to imagine how living here would be. Jason was by my side, and I wasn’t homeless. I had a place where I was actually wanted and cared for.

“At school, we’ll just have to pretend to be friends.”

I opened my eyes and stared at Jason. “I’m going to be jerking off to thoughts of you every night.”

His face turned red, and he sucked in a breath. “You can’t say stuff like that with her watching.”

I chuckled. “I know. I just don’t want you to think this whole friend thing is what I want.”

“I know. I don’t want it either. But my parents would never allow me to see you again if they knew how I felt.”

We both understood what we wanted. Jason squeezed my hand, and I squeezed his back. Together we could get through this.

* * *

Mr. Johnson came home and grumbled about something before heading back to his room. He came out before dinner and didn’t say much while we ate. Dave was out with friends and Mr. Johnson grumbled about that. This was the first time I’d felt uncomfortable in this house, but I figured it was better than sleeping on the streets.

The day had been long, and exhaustion held me. Bed called to me when Mrs. Johnson had to run out to fix something at the store. Mr. Johnson started in with the questions the second the door shut.

“How long are you going to be here?” he barked.

“Um, I’m not sure.” And I wasn’t. I had no clue what my future held.

“You’re in school, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Are you going to play football?”

I shook my head. “I’ve never played football.”

“What are you, some kind of sissy?”

I didn’t answer that question because I figured he didn’t really want an answer. If he found out I was dating Jason, I was sure he’d freak out.

“What sports do you play?” he demanded.

I remembered what Dave had said and almost lied, but I wasn’t going to lie to make this man feel better. “I play soccer.”

“Oh God, I knew it. You’re a fucking sissy.” The man jumped up. I flinched as fear skated my nerves. He headed down the hall, his arms waving as he ranted. “God, you’re a disgrace. Fucking foreigner lover. Real men don’t play soccer.”

A part of me wanted to tell him to shut up, but I said nothing as Dave’s warnings echoed through my mind. Mrs. Johnson was great, but her husband was a jerk.

The next day I registered for school which was exciting and scary. Time passed slowly as I healed. Mrs. Johnson didn’t want me running around, so I watched a few movies and read some. After a few days of sitting around the house, I waited until Mrs. Johnson was at work before heading out to put my application in at a few places. I was excited at the prospect of getting a job.

Jason called or texted every day, but he only came over every few days. And if Mr. Johnson was there, he didn’t show up. The first time Dave was at home and Jason showed up, Dave took off, not even saying bye.

Jason kissed me every chance he got. Of course those chances came so rarely that when we kissed, it felt like forever since we had. A week after filling out the application, I got a job at a feed store. The concept that people had big enough animals they had to buy a fifty pound bag of food was foreign to me.

The couple who ran the store were very nice even when Jason stopped by on Saturdays when they closed early, and it was obvious we were more than friends.

Dave headed to college, and Mr. Johnson seemed to mellow a little. Of course, if Mrs. Johnson was at work, I stayed in my room. School started, and I found my way around the halls with Jason’s help. No one questioned if we were gay, they just thought we were friends. It was nice being able to spend time with Jason. I worked twelve to fifteen hours a week, and school kept me busy.

Life was good. Surprised by how nice people were, I relaxed even more. I’d never experienced happiness like this before. This was home, and I could finally be myself.