I tried to get some rest, but I was amped up from seeing Pa in pain. I had been startled from my sleep so I just stayed there, staring at the ceiling and feeling restless.
I was genuinely scared, too, (like the scared of monsters type of scared) which rarely happened to me. I kept hearing noises and I had a general feeling of anxiousness. Maybe it was the fact that I had already gotten a few hours sleep before he yelled. Maybe my body thought that's all I needed for the night. Either way, I could not fall asleep in spite of lying there and trying my hardest to do so.
I got lost so deeply in my own delirious fears and thoughts that somehow, I convinced myself that it was an okay idea to go into the living room with Jesse. I brought a blanket with me, wrapping it around me the way I had done when we were on the dock earlier. This blanket was bigger, and it was my intention to stretch out on the very edge of Jesse's bed without disturbing him.
I tiptoed into the living room with extreme care. The floors creaked beneath my feet, but it was nothing loud enough to wake him up. He was on his back with his face turned away from me, and I ever so gingerly stretched out on the edge of his bed, trying to barely move it. I was so concerned with being quiet and not causing disturbance that I hadn't been looking at Jesse. I glanced at his face and gasped when I saw that he was staring straight at me with his eyes open.
I made an apologetic expression, which he returned with a reassuring smile.
"You okay?" he whispered.
I nodded. "I couldn't sleep, and I was thinking that since y'all are getting up in an hour, I could just lay out here with you for a little while till I fall asleep."
He took his watch from the end table and focused on reading the time before setting it to the side again. "Why haven't you been sleeping?" he said sleepily as he readjusted to get more comfortable.
"Because I just couldn't," I said.
Jesse pulled me closer to him, encouraging me to rest my body against his, which I did with no hesitation whatsoever. There were, after all, two comforters between us. I snuggled in close to him, feeling completely guilt-free about it.
It was as if I had taken sleeping medicine.
Stretching out next to Jesse caused a warm feeling to envelope me. I was so very comfortable and content with him right there next to me that sleep found me before I even had the chance to go looking for it.
I vaguely recalled hearing Jesse and Pa when they left a little while later. I had already given myself the green-light to sleep in and miss out on the fishing trip, so I was barely even aware when they left.
I woke up at 8:30.
I could have kept on sleeping, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't get up and enjoy a few minutes on the dock before the boys got back. I made a cup of coffee, and while it was brewing, I tidied up the cabin, folding blankets and putting away the hide-a-bed. (This step was trickier than I anticipated, and I'm pretty sure the bed was a little defective, but I got it done.)
I poured my coffee and added some cream and sugar from little packets that were stashed next to the coffee pot. I took my mug, along with a book and a blanket, when I went out to the dock. It was a beautiful spring morning—one that would was perfect for getting lost in a book.
I sat out there and read for about an hour, and I thoroughly enjoyed the story I was reading, but it was frustrating because I had to constantly stop and reread paragraphs on account of my thoughts wandering back to Jesse.
This exposure to him was just too much. I was in the middle of contemplating ways I could avoid him at the shop when I saw them approaching in the distance—at least I thought it was them. I squinted into the sun, watching as a boat came closer.
They parked the boat on the neighbor's dock, which was much nicer and longer than the one I was sitting on. I turned toward them, waving. Jesse waved back when he saw me, and so did Pa.
Jesse gestured with his finger in the air, and I took it to mean that he wanted me to stay where I was, so I gave him a thumb's up and I sat up, putting a bookmark into my book.
It took Jesse and Pa a minute or two to square away things with the boat, and I watched as they finished up by setting their gear near the truck. They talked for a few seconds before Jesse took off, jogging toward me with a smile. He was wearing jeans and that same flannel jacket with a T-shirt underneath. He strode toward me, smiling confidently and taking my breath away. He was wearing sunglasses, which only added to the picturesque quality of it all.
"How'd y'all do?" I asked.
"We kept about eight," he said. "It should feed the family for a little while."
I laughed at him as he sat beside me on the dock.
"How'd you sleep?" he asked.
"Good," I said. "Once I came in there with you, I slept great." I glanced at him, and he smiled. The way his mouth moved and shifted when he smiled—the way it flashed his gorgeous teeth. I had to look away, and when I did, he reached out to touch my leg. It was just two of his fingers on my knee, but it sent waves of anticipation through me.
"Rose."
I had glanced away, and he said it to get me to look at him again.
I looked at him. I could see his eyes through his sunglasses, and I knew he could see mine, because we stared right at each other.
"I slept good, too," he said.
I smiled and shook my head at him. "Good," I said since I had no idea what he was getting at.
"I slept better after you came in there," he added.
It was exactly what I wanted him to say, and my heart reacted accordingly, feeling like it wanted to leap out of my chest. I looked at him, and he gave me a regretful smile as he shook his head.
"I know you have a boyfriend, Rose, so I'm not trying to—"
"Jesse, it wouldn't matter, anyway."
He scowled when I said that, but he didn't say anything.
I wanted him to insist that it would matter. I regretted cutting him off. I wished I had just let him continue with what he was saying.
He breathed a sigh. "It's just that when you were next to me this morning… I just felt like… I don't know what I felt. I felt right, I guess."
"Jesse we're cousins," I said.
"No we're not," he said, grimacing at me. "We're not even distant cousins. We're not even related at all."
He was so matter-of-fact about it that I experienced an instant feeling of elation, which was quickly dampened by the thought we were likely the only two in the whole universe who felt this way about our situation.
I glanced at the cabin and then at Jesse, turning my shoulders a little to face him more fully.
"But it doesn't matter because you have a boyfriend," he said.
"I do, Jesse, but even if I didn't, we couldn't."
"Yes, we can. That's the beauty of it. The other day I was looking at you, thinking about everything, and you know what Rose? I'm glad you're not my real cousin."
We made eye contact for the next few seconds.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I would break up with Barrett in a heartbeat if I thought he meant what he was saying right now, but before I could get the words out, I heard a loud whistle coming from the cabin.
The whistle repeated two more times, and Jesse shot me a worried expression before standing up to head to the cabin.
"I'm gonna go see what he needs," he said, beginning to jog.
"I'm right behind you," I said.
I was already a little on edge from the cramp incident the night before, so Pa's whistle had me worried. I gathered my things quickly and was only a short distance behind Jesse as we headed up to the cabin.
"It's okay, I'm okay!" Pa yelled when he saw that we were headed toward him in a hurry. "It's a phone call that came in for Rose!"
It took a few more seconds for us to get into the cabin, and I was breathless by the time we did.
"What is it?" I asked.
Pa had been looking at me the whole time, gesturing for me to come inside.
"You have a message from your friend," he said. "It's about Barrett, I believe. I just listened to the beginning of it before I went out there and whistled for you."
There was an answering machine lying on the bar, and Pa pressed the button to make the message play. He watched me as he waited for the machine to start. There was a beep and then I heard the sound of my roommate's voice.
"Hi, this is Rebecca, Rose Lewis's roommate. I'm calling to leave a message for Rose. Rose, I don't know if you've heard, but I saw on the news this morning that there's been an accident with some the UM basketball players. I think Barrett was with them. They said his name with the ones who had been involved. Anyway, I think it happened early this morning. I think it was pretty serious, Rose. You might want to look into it and see about getting back when you can. I hope this is the Lewis family's cabin. I had to go up to the church to get the number. I hope I'm calling the right place. This message is for Rose Lewis. This is Rebecca. Thank you."
There was another beep, and I stared at Jesse with a disbelieving expression.
My heart sank. "What do you think happened?"
Pa turned on the TV to see if he could find a news station reporting on it, but there was nothing. I called my apartment, and Rebecca picked up the phone on the first ring.
"It's Rose," I said when I heard her answer.
"Where are you?"
"I'm still up by Dyersburg. What happened?"
"I don't know exactly," she said. "I saw it like an hour ago on the news, and I had to track down the number to call you, so I'm just getting back home. Apparently, there was an accident early this morning. All I know is that multiple members of the basketball team were involved, and I think there were some casualties."
"Casualties?" I asked, feeling like I couldn’t have heard her correctly. I couldn't breathe. "You mean somebody died?"
"Yes," she said. "I told you it was serious. I don't think it was Barrett. I think he's okay, but you need to call the hospital."
"Were they in the bus?" I asked. "What hospital?" I felt like I was about to lose it, and then my grandfather put a comforting hand on my back.
"I don't know," she said. "I wish I had more information, but I don't. The news reporter was kind of vague. I think they were on their way back to Memphis from North Carolina, but I'm not sure how close they were. I don't think they were on the bus. Maybe you can call Barrett's mom or the police department."
I had no idea what to do or say next so I just thanked Rebecca for calling me and hung up the phone. I looked at my grandfather, feeling like I was in some kind of nightmare.
"She said there's been an accident," I said numbly.
Pa nodded. "We better head back to Memphis."