I was thankful for the dim lighting of the dance floor, because my blood pressure was through the roof. I knew I had a red face. The band had changed songs to a ballad, so I put my forehead against Barrett's chest while I regained my composure and thought of what to do.
After a minute, I glanced to the side and saw that Tammy had met up with Jesse. She walked into his arms right when I glanced over there, and I couldn’t bear to look. I stared down at the wood floors beneath my feet. I was woozy and short of breath.
"I'm not riding home with Tyler if he's driving," I said.
"He's not. He's getting loaded. He already gave Smitty his keys." He looked down at me. "I was actually going to talk to you about that. I might get a ride home with Kevin and them if that's okay. He's leaving in a minute, and I want to go home and get some rest."
"I think that's smart," I said. "You're gonna have scouts at the game."
"Good. So do you think you and Rebecca could get a ride home with your cousin? I saw he was here. Kevin's only got room for four, and two other guys are already riding with him."
I paused and looked around, feeling totally thrown off by the fact that I apparently had no ride. Rebecca was on the dance floor, dancing with one of our friends she recognized from school. It sunk in that Barrett had just asked me to get a ride home with Jesse and Tammy, so I turned to look at them. They were looking at each other when I caught sight of them, and I felt desperate to stop him from smiling at her like that.
"Sure," I said. "We'll ride with Jesse." Truth was, I had no idea if we'd be able to ride with him. Plus, there were at least three other people at the reception that I would ask for a ride before I asked Jesse.
Barrett left with his friends.
A whole group of basketball players left at the same time, and I smelled mischief in the air, but I didn't say anything. I talked to Rebecca and told her we were on our own for a ride home. She walked with me to the place where Jesse was standing with Tammy and some of their friends.
Jesse was facing the opposite direction, so he didn't see me approach. Tammy gestured towards me when she saw that I was planning on talking to them, and Jesse turned.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey," he returned, glancing behind me as if expecting to see Barrett.
"He had to leave with one of his friends," I said. "Hey, I see a couple of my other friends, but I was just wondering when you guys were leaving."
"Do you need a ride?" Jesse asked.
"Not if you don't have room or whatever. I see some other people I could ask."
Jesse glanced around as if looking for Barrett again. He was definitely annoyed. "You mean that guy brought you here and left you here without a ride? He drove you here and left without you?"
I shrugged. "We rode here with one of his friends, and I wasn't interested in riding back with him, anyway." I looked directly at Tammy when I said the last part of that sentence, but she just stared at me like she didn't know what I was talking about. "Tyler," I said, still looking at her and feeling brave. "We rode with Tyler."
I remembered the way she drank and flirted with Tyler in the hall, but she just stood there and stared at me like I had lost my mind.
"And they left without you?" Jesse asked, shaking his head as if he just couldn't believe it. His green eyes stood out against his dark suit. He had on his glasses, and they perfectly framed his eyes.
"It's really no big deal," I said, looking away from his gaze before meeting it again. "I just wanted to see what time you guys were leaving."
"You can give them a ride home, but I'm staying here," Tammy said. "You can go do it as long you come back and pick me up."
"You sure?" he asked.
"No, no, no," I said. "I see other people I could ask. I just thought maybe if y'all were leaving."
"I'll take you," Jesse said. "I don't mind."
"He doesn't mind," Tammy said, stretching up to kiss his cheek.
"Just let me know when you're ready," he said to me.
"I'm ready when you are," I said. "Barrett's already gone, and I really don't know either of these people.
"Oh, Kara's so great!" Tammy said, talking about Randall's new wife. "She's the sweetest person you'll ever meet."
I smiled at her. "I'm sure she is."
I did not like her. It was incredibly difficult for me not to spill my guts about what I had seen in the hallway. I resisted the urge to call her out, mostly because I knew she'd deny it.
We walked to the parking lot and got in Jesse's truck. He had a new Chevy. I had seen it but had never ridden in it. There was a bench seat, so I climbed in first, taking the spot next to Jesse while Rebecca sat by the window.
"Do you mind if I play the radio?" I asked.
Jesse didn't bother answering because I didn't wait for him to. I reached out and switched on the radio, which was tuned to a station playing the blues. I wasn't surprised because that's what he'd been raised around.
"Sounds like your mom," I said.
"Jane, too," he said.
I nodded as I settled back into the middle seat. Jesse had changed positions while I was leaning forward to turn on the radio, and I accidently leaned back on his arm. He moved so I could adjust, but he left his arm in a relaxed position that made contact with mine. I made my movements carefully so as not to fully break contact with him.
It was pitiful how utterly affected I was by touching him. It was my arm brushing against his in the front seat of a pickup truck, for crying out loud, and my stomach was tied in a thousand knots because of it. He wasn't touching me intentionally, but he certainly wasn't making the effort to move his arm, either. I sat there as he drove, feeling all sorts of butterflies.
We talked about the wedding and the fact that the whole basketball team showed up at the reception unexpectedly. Jesse asked me more about what I was going to be doing for the family business, and I elaborated on that.
We were about a mile from my apartment when I did something crazy. Sure, I was currently sitting next to him. But at the rate we had been going during the past several years, this was as close as I would get for a while. I knew I would be working at the shop, but I had no idea when I would be in this proximity again. It was for this reason that I justified doing that crazy thing.
It started with me leaning against him to rest my head on his shoulder. The contact seemed very innocent and cousin-like until Jesse reached up and put his hand right on the side of my face, securing it to his shoulder. Maybe he meant that in an innocent way, too, but it caused my heart to beat ever so rapidly.
His hand, warm and big, and soft yet callused, wrapped around my cheek, gently holding me. It caused an ache to happen in my body the likes of which I had never experienced. I was absolutely stricken by Jesse. Totally lovestruck.
As if it were a normal thing to do, I put my hand onto his, holding it in place on my cheek. We rode like that for the next minute or two, staring at the road with our hands intertwined, until we pulled up at my apartment.
I got out of the truck right behind Rebecca. I looked over the seat and told Jesse goodbye, thanks, and that I would see him the following week at the shop. He offered to get out to walk us to the door, but I stopped him since our apartment was clearly visible from the truck, and he could watch us go inside.
Jesse waited until we were inside the apartment with the door closed before he pulled away—I saw his headlights begin to move after we were safe inside.
"What was that?" Rebecca asked.
"What was what?" I asked, taking my shoes off and flexing my aching feet.
"In the truck," she said, taking hers off as well. "With your cousin. Wasn't that your cousin?"
I hesitated, but then smiled and shrugged nonchalantly as I headed toward my bedroom. "Yep," I said. "But not my real cousin. He's so sweet for giving us a ride home."
"Is that Jane's brother?" she asked.
I nodded. "Her twin."
Rebecca had met Jane several times because sometimes I kept Shelby at our apartment rather than Jane's.
"They don't look like twins," she said.
"You don't think so?" I asked absentmindedly.
As we talked, we headed across our small living room to the hallway that led to our bedrooms. Neither of us discussed the fact that we were going to change; we both just assumed we would get out of our dresses and head to our rooms.
"Nope," she said. "I would have never even guessed they were siblings much less twins."
"I think they look alike," I said. "I can see it."
She shrugged. "What's up with him holding your hand like that?" she asked.
"He didn't hold my hand," I said, feeling all sorts of delightful feelings at the fact that we were obvious enough for her to bring it up.
"In the truck," she said. "I glanced over, and you two were holding hands."
"No we weren't," I said.
She shrugged as if to say that she knew I was withholding information, but she was willing to let me off the hook.
"He's really fine," she said. "I wouldn't blame you for flirting with him. I see how he got that Tammy girl to go out with him."
"First of all, he's not my real cousin, and what's that supposed to mean about Tammy?"
"It means I see how he got that supermodel looking girl to go out with him. He's fine. Like Tom Cruise."
"He does not look like Tom Cruise," I said.
"He's as fine as Tom Cruise," she said.
"Yeah, but they don't look alike. And that girl's not a supermodel. I don't even think she's all that."
Rebecca smiled at me and pointed at my chest. "You don't like her," she said.
"You're right, I don't. She doesn't deserve Jesse." My tone was so serious that Rebecca glanced at me with an expression that said she thought I was being a little intense. "I saw her getting wasted with Tyler in the hallway. Then she kissed him right before she went out there with Jesse again."
"She kissed him?" Rebecca asked in shock. "You saw your cousin's girlfriend kiss someone else? Why didn't you tell him?"
I let my shoulders slump because I didn't know the answer to that question. "I don't know," I said. "I guess I thought she would just deny it, and it would look like I was just trying to break them up."
"But you kind of are," she assumed, having no idea how accurate she was.