Chapter 2
Gabe and his parents had taken shifts at the hospital. Each one leaving for at least a few hours to sleep and shower and force some food down. It was now closing in on the 24-hour mark. An important one, according to the doctors. If Austin made it past 24 hours, he’d likely survive and would eventually recover.
Gabe had gone home to his parent’s house late in the night to get some sleep. They thought it would be easier if he stayed with them for a few days so they would all be close to each other. He was still behind on sleep by a few hours from the night before, and the day’s emotions had taken a toll on him. It was around 11 when he got home, forced down a protein shake, and crawled into bed in his old room.
His sleep was fitful and he woke often. At 3 a.m., when his parents came home, he heard them come in the door. At first, to his half-awake mind, it seemed perfectly normal for his parents to come in late, talking in hushed whispers. But then, the reality of the situation kicked in and he sat up.
He threw back the covers and padded quickly to the kitchen. He saw his father with his arms around his mother, who was weeping quietly against his chest. Gabe’s stomach dropped.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
His father lifted his head to look at Gabe, his own eyes swimming with tears. “He’s gone.” He held out an arm to Gabe, who just stared at him.
“Gone? Where? They moved him to another hospital or something?”
“No, son, just gone.”
Gabe shook his head. He couldn’t believe that. Gone. Dead. He’d never wake up, never come home. That was not acceptable.
“How can he be dead? He was at the hospital. They’re supposed to keep people alive.”
“They did the best they could.”
“Well, I guess it wasn’t good enough!” Gabe slammed a fist down on the counter and the sudden sound made his mother jump.
She turned to him and came to hug him. “I know you’re angry. We’re all very shaken and upset by this.”
Gabe shook his head and stepped back from his mother. “No, I just need to find who was responsible for this.” He marched back to his old bedroom, grabbed his keys, and headed for the door.
“Gabriel, stop.” His father came to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Where are you going?”
“First, to the hospital. I’m going to find out who failed to keep my brother alive. Then, I’m going to start hunting whoever it was that did this to Austin. I got enough of his scent, I think. I will find him.”
“Please don’t do this. It won’t make anything better. Come for a run with me. Let’s go out into the woods like we used to.”
Gabe stepped closer to the door. “It was a human who did this, it’ll be as a human that I fight this.”
Gabe’s dad quickly pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out of his pants, then shifted into bear form right in the entryway. He looked at Gabe and roared.
In bear form, his father had some power over him. There was more of the animal instinct there, and animals obeyed their elders better than humans did. Gabe could feel an almost involuntary reaction start in his chest. His bear, struggling to break free.
Before he could tear his clothing, Gabe yanked off his shirt and had just gotten his shorts off when the bear in him tore free.
The feeling started in his chest. Something like the feeling of high anxiety, where you wanted to burst from your own skin. Except in the case of a shifter, that was exactly what happened next. The internal change happened as the external one did. His rib cage moved first, then his spine stretched. His skin broke out in shocks of black hair. The bones of his arms and legs lengthened and shortened as claws popped from his fingertips. His head was the last thing. His human ears flattened in as they moved to the top of his head, his nose and mouth stretched out in front of him into a snout and his sharp bear teeth descended. Then his transformation was complete. The whole process took less than a second.
Gabe followed his father to the back door, where his mother had already opened the glass door that led to the porch. They ran down the porch and into the woods. In the cover of the trees, they took off at a fast run. They pushed themselves hard, running fast to get out the emotions.
Gabe laughed to himself. He had been told by Coach to do a bear run today anyhow. Gabe, with his toned and trained body, quickly caught and surpassed his father. He ran ahead a few miles, then circled back to catch him again. They crossed over the stream, crushed a few small trees for fun, and paused at the edge of the orchard, where there were always a few stray berries to nibble on.
This was a run they’d done plenty of times. The whole family, or just one parent with him and Austin, or just him and Austin on their own. But Austin would never make this run again. He’d never sit with them under these trees, sniffing the ground for berries. He was gone.
Gabe sat down on his hind legs. Bears didn’t cry. But they did lament in howls. He sat and howled at the sky. It was still dark, the moon in a sliver overhead. The stars winked back at him as he let the grief tear through his chest, into the night air.
His father sat beside him and joined in the howl. For a long time, the two of them lamented together, their grief audible for miles.
When they eventually headed back, Gabe walked. He didn’t have the strength to run again. He didn’t have the desire. Nothing seemed like it had any point any longer. What would he do without his brother? His best friend? Who would be there to cheer him on from the stands and go out drinking with him after to celebrate a good game or drown the frustration of a lost one?
Though Austin was younger, Gabe didn’t remember a time in his life when he wasn’t there. They’d been cubs together, learning how to shift and how not to. How to be a bear and a human. His only sibling. Now gone forever.
His steps became a slow lumber. He didn’t think he could keep walking. His steps slowed and his feet dragged. He sat down, then rolled over on the ground, letting his head fall to the earth. He stayed there, no longer having the will to go on.
His father realized he’d stopped walking and came back to him. He sat beside him for a minute, letting him rest. But then, he pushed his nose into him, trying to get him to his feet. Gabe refused.
His father pushed with his whole body and growled at him. Gabe didn’t move. Finally, his father dug his teeth into the scruff of Gabe’s neck and tugged. The sharp pain made him yelp and get to his feet. Then, his father bounded into him, forcing him forward.
Gabe trudged on, until the house was in sight. Then, he shifted back to human form, not caring that he was naked in the backyard. He walked to the house with his head down, went straight back to his bedroom, and got into bed. He pulled the covers high and closed out the world.
Gabe hadn’t gotten out of bed for days. He would come out go to the bathroom, on occasion stuff something into his mouth from the plates of food his mother regularly delivered, but otherwise, he slept and refused to get up to face the world.
His parents had each come in to try to talk to him. Other relatives, too. Some from out of town who had come in to help make the arrangements. Coach had stopped by and a few of his teammates. They offered condolences and assured him he could take some time before coming back to training.
Today was the funeral. His parents had made it clear in no uncertain terms that he was expected to go. Staying home and staying in bed was not an option. His mother had come in much too early and brought him coffee to get him up.
Everything was like moving in slow motion. He crawled out of bed, trudged to the shower. The hot water ran over him and he barely had the energy to lift his arms to wash his hair and body. The hot water ran warm before he finally got out.
He put on the jacket and tie his mother had laid out for him, leftover from his college graduation. Then he sat in the living room, ignoring the people around him, staring at the wall until it was time to go.
Gabe stood in the line with his parents while people came to look at Austin’s body and say sorry. He nodded at them, mumbled thanks, and let himself be hugged. When Ryan and Rachel came to them, together, Gabe finally melted. He took one look at Ryan and the rage flared in his chest. But then he saw the tears flowing down his cheeks and the bruises still making his eyes purple. Saw the bandages around his arm and how he walked with a slight limp.
Ryan came to hug him and instead, cried on his shoulder. Gabe broke a little then. His own tears flowed and when Ryan muttered a watery, “I’m sorry I didn’t stop it,” Gabe found himself offering Ryan comfort. Rachel gave him a long hug and sat with Ryan.
A minister or someone—Gabe didn’t know who he was or where he came from—stood up and talked a while. Then, his father said some words and anyone else was invited to do the same. Gabe had considered this, but in the end, decided it was too hard. He sat with his head down through the whole horrible ceremony.
Afterward, a large number of people came back to his parents house, including Rachel and Ryan. The three clung together amongst the family who stood around eating.
“I could really use a drink,” Gabe said after an hour of hearing his aunt go on and on about shifter hate crimes and how something had to be done and justice had to served.
“Doesn’t sound too bad to me,” Ryan said.
Rachel looked over at them. “So long as we don’t go back to that bar…”
“Let’s go,” Gabe said, standing up.
After a brief explanation to his father, Gabe slipped from the house before his mother or aunts could protest.
“I’ll drive,” Rachel said. “My car is the most available anyway.”
Gabe glanced at the cars parked in the driveway and along the road. At least three cars would have to move in order for him to get his car out. He slid into the backseat of Rachel’s car and stared out the window.
It was a silent drive and when they got to the bar, few people were there. They sat at a table together and ordered a pitcher of beer.
Rachel started to cry softly. She reached across the table and took Gabe’s hand. “Your brother was a hero. I can’t imagine what would have happened that night if he hadn’t stepped in. It doesn’t make up for it, but I’ll be forever grateful for him.”
Ryan nodded. “He was a good guy. I feel like if I was a shifter myself I could have done more. I got a few punches in. That was all, though. There were too many of them and they all had knives.”
Gabe stared around the bar, trying to picture what the scene must have looked like. Where there tables like this? A pool table in the corner? He’d never been to the bar where the fight happened. And now he doubted he would ever go. How could he stand there in the place his brother had bled?
As he looked around the bar, he noticed a woman watching him. He met her eyes for a second, then looked away. She was beautiful. Long, dark hair that fell in waves to her shoulders and just beyond. Dark eyes full of intensity. His heart skipped when he’d seen her. But, he wasn’t in the place to talk to any women. He’d just make a fool of himself in this state. He poured another beer and chugged it down, refusing to look her way.
After their second pitcher, Gabe was feeling a little warm and the pain had eased a bit. He motioned for the waitress and had her bring them some shots. After three rounds, he was feeling much better. He raised his hand to get the waitress’s attention and ordered another round.
“I’m out,” Rachel said. “If I’m going to drive later, I have to stop drinking now.”
Gabe took her shot and downed it, too.
“I have to use the bathroom,” she said.
“Wait.” Ryan got to his feet. “I’ll walk with you.”
Gabe watched them go, wondering how long Ryan would paranoid for her safety and at what point they were going to hook up. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other. And now with this shared grief, it was inevitable.
“Trying to drown your sorrows?”
Gabe looked toward the voice and saw the woman he’d seen earlier. She slid into the seat beside him and looked over the empty glasses filling the table.
“Is it working?”
“I don’t think so,” he said.
“What has you so sad?” She tilted her head at him. “No, wait, don’t tell me. You’re wearing a suit. Either someone you loved just got married, or you came from a funeral.”
“Funeral.”
She nodded sadly. “That sucks. Were you close?”
“He was my brother.”
Her face went slack and she looked surprised. “Oh. I’m so sorry. That more than sucks.”
“Yeah.” He tilted back the last of his beer and swallowed.
“I’m Carolyn.” She stuck out her hand and he shook it. “I noticed you before and you looked so sad. I wanted to come say hi. I thought maybe I could cheer you up, but I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon, is it?”
“Doubtful.”
“For what it’s worth, I am sorry. My dad died a few years ago, so I have an idea of what it’s like to lose a family member.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“I’m just going to leave this.” She set down a scrap of paper with her name and phone number written on it. “If you want to talk or hang up, give me a call.”
He folded the paper and tucked it into his pants. “I appreciate it.”
“I mean it,” she said. “Even if you just want to talk or hang out with someone who didn’t know your brother at all. Sometimes that makes it easier. No reminders.”
She walked back to her table as Ryan and Rachel returned from the bathroom. Through the rest of the night, he glanced at her now and again. Several times their eyes met. He couldn’t hold her glance for more than a moment or two, though.
“What are you waiting for?” Rachel asked.
“Huh?” Gabe looked at her and she was watching him.
“You have been checking out that brunette for hours. Why don’t you talk to her?”
“I already did. She gave me her number.”
“When?” Ryan said.
“When you guys went to the bathroom. She came over.”
“Are you going to call her?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t know,” Gabe said.
“Invite her to come sit with us,” Rachel said.
“Nah. I’m not really up for meeting new people right now. Too much work.”
They seemed to accept this and went back to the conversation they had been having without Gabe. He hadn’t been more than a table decoration for the last hour. And he was starting to get tired.
“Can we go?” he asked.
They got to their feet and paid the tab. As he walked out, Gabe allowed himself one last look at Carolyn. She held up a hand to wave goodbye.