Chapter 11
He tried to sit there. But he was ignoring everything they said to him. His ears still rang. He had to get out of there. Gabe pushed back from the table abruptly and headed for the door, his teammates calling out after him.
There was no way he could drive, and if he called Carolyn now, they’d end up in a screaming match in the parking lot. He walked behind the bar, found a place somewhat private with a few trees, and stripped down. He tossed his clothes into a pile and let his flood of emotions go as he transformed into bear form. He stood tall and roared, then took off running.
The wind in his fur felt soothing, but his mind still raced. What would he say first? Was there any way he could keep this from becoming a fight? He ran toward the apartment and by the time he reached it, he was only slightly less wired up. He changed back to human form and stumbled into the building, the effects of the alcohol hitting him much harder as a human than they had as a bear. His feet pounded heavy on the stairs and when he reached his door, he thumped loud on the door.
It took a few minutes, but then Carolyn opened the door, rubbing her eyes. “Gabe?”
He slammed his palm against the door, pushing it open so hard, it banged into the wall. She jumped back and was now wide awake. She looked down at his naked form and her mouth hung open.
“Are you drunk?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said, his words slurring. He slammed the door shut and stomped toward her. “You.” He felt himself losing it. He wanted to wring her neck, to take out all his pain on her. His voice broke when he spoke again. “How could you do this to me?”
“What are you talking about?” She took a step back, fear in her eyes.
“Kenny? You slept with Kenny?”
She pulled her eyebrows together in confusion, then they smoothed out and she looked guilty. “You know that guy?”
“Know that guy? He’s my teammate. I just got to hear him bragging about how he fucked you. After I did.”
She swallowed hard, tears already swimming in her eyes. “It’s not like we were dating or anything after you and I slept together. It was a one-night thing.”
“Right. But both times, you didn’t use a condom. And you told me how you’re such an idiot that you can’t remember to take one stupid pill every day.”
“Gabe—”
“Tell me. Whose baby is it really?”
She held up her hands in surrender, taking another step away from him. “Yours.”
“How can you know that? If you slept with him right after me, how can you possibly know?”
She turned and ran to the bathroom, then slammed the door shut. He followed her, but she’d locked the door.
“Open the door!”
“No!”
He could hear her sobbing. He knew he was scaring her, but he didn’t care. It was taking everything he had to keep from slapping her across the face.
“Sam was right.” He leaned his forehead against the door. “You are just a little slut.”
She didn’t say anything, but her sobs were the only response he needed. He pounded again on the door.
“Open up!”
“You need to sleep it off,” she said in a wavering voice. “You’re drunk. We’ll talk about this later.”
He closed his eyes. The room was spinning and he thought he might puke. Then, he was sure of it.
“Carolyn,” he whispered. “I need to puke. Please. I don’t want to get it in the carpet.”
She unlocked the door and he fell into the bathroom, landing hard on the floor. He scrambled to the toilet and made it just in time. She sat on the floor beside him, eyes red and tears running down her cheeks. She disappeared for a moment and came back with a glass of water. She set it beside him, then poured out a few ibuprofen.
When he was through, he wiped his mouth and rinsed in the sink, then drank the water and took the pills. He sat beside her on the floor, feeling slightly calmer now that the vomiting had taken so much effort.
“Just tell me the truth,” he said in a near whisper. “Are you absolutely, 100% sure it’s mine?”
She shook her head and her face crumpled. She put her face in her hands and resumed sobbing. He stared at her in shock. Like her admission wasn’t real. But suddenly, everything he was sure of had vanished. Would he be a father, a husband? Would he have anything he’d spent the last months working for?
“How could you do this to me?” he said.
“I’m so sorry. I’m pretty sure it’s yours.”
“How sure?”
“I don’t know. Like ninety percent?”
He closed his eyes and his throat thickened. “Ninety percent.” He met her eyes with a hard stare. “Ninety percent?! So you’re not sure at all!”
“No, I am. When I saw my doctor and she said how old the baby was, at the time it was much closer to when I slept with you. It would be too big at that point to be Kenny’s.”
“Too big?” Then he remembered what Kenny had said earlier. “But shifter babies are bigger than human babies. Did your doctor know the father was a shifter?”
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“Are you that stupid? What part of this aren’t you getting? I’m part fucking bear, Carolyn! My babies are bigger than human babies, so if that’s what you’re basing everything on, then you have absolutely no clue at all. How many other guys did you sleep with? How many other possibilities are there?”
“Just you and Kenny.”
“Right.” He ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. “Like I can believe that. Or anything you say. I am so disgusted right now. I can’t even look at you.”
Her lip quivered as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, then she hurried from the room.
He heard drawers opening and shutting in the bedroom. So, she was leaving. Maybe it was just as well. He stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching her stuff clothes into a bag as she tried to wipe the tears away.
“You going back to Sam?”
“No.” She glared at him. “I’ll go… I don’t know. To a friend’s house.”
“I’ll call Kenny to pick you up.”
“No! I don’t want him. I never did. I only ever wanted you. Even when I was going back to Sam, I wished I was with you.”
“Yet, you didn’t bother to tell me you were pregnant. I guess now I know the real reason. You would have had to tell us both.”
She shook her head. “It’s your baby, Gabe. I know it is.”
“No. You don’t know anything except how to open your legs.”
Her head fell and she stood there, sobbing for a long minute before she picked up the bag and brushed past him. She paused with her hand on the front door and turned back to him.
“You’re the one I want. No matter whose baby it is, I want it to be yours. I want to have a family with you. I’m so sorry. The only reason I didn’t tell you is because I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Well, you have.”
She closed the door behind her ,and he fell to his knees.
He must’ve passed out at some point after sobbing and pounding the floor. He woke to the morning light with his face pressed into the carpet in the living room. He pushed himself up with shaky arms.
For half a second, he was in that glorious stage of just waking up, of the one moment before reality set in and he remembered last night. His head ached, his throat ached, but his heart ached the worst. It was almost as bad as the day after Austin had died. How he’d woken up, then remembered his brother was dead, and wanted to go back to sleep.
He stood and felt a damp spot on his knee. He was still naked, and when he looked down he saw that there was a spot of vomit pressed into the carpet and all over his leg. So, he had thrown up again and then slept in it. Nice.
He got some paper towels from the kitchen to clean off his leg, then scrubbed the carpet until it seemed clean. Carolyn would know how to do it better, he thought, and then his heart twinged in pain. He put the cleaning supplies away and took a long, hot shower.
He downed more pills when he got out, and dressed. He’d need some way to get to his car and his keys and clothes in the woods. But that was the least of his worries now. Where in the world was Carolyn? He reached to check his phone, but then remembered he didn’t have it. It was with everything else back at the bar. He growled in frustration. He’d have to go back now.
He undressed again except for his shorts and went to the woods near the apartment building. He took off the shorts and shifted, then ran back to the bar. The run was good for him. Helped clear his head, even though his stomach ached and the bright light stung his eyes.
He found his pile of clothing still strewn where he’d left it. After digging into his pants for his keys and then his phone, he eagerly checked for missed calls or texts. Nothing from her. He got in his car and drove back to the apartment, trying to decide what to do.
One thing had become clearer to him than ever since he woke up and she was gone. He not only needed her and wanted her, he loved her. He’d never told a girl he loved her before. He’d never felt this feeling before. But even as wretched as he felt about her sleeping with Kenny, even with the thought that her child might not be his strangling his airway, he still missed her. He was more than a little concerned about her. With no idea where she could be, he imagined the worst. What if she had gone to Kenny, or some other guy he didn’t know about? What if she’d gone to a bar and found some new guy? His stomach twisted again, and he had to run to the bathroom.
He didn’t throw up this time, but he felt that close to losing it. He paced the living room. Maybe she would just come back on her own. If he sat here and waited, maybe she would unlock the door any minute. He stared at it, willing it to open under her touch. He couldn’t take it anymore. He finally picked up the phone and called her.
No answer. He didn’t bother leaving a message. Instead, he sent a text. “Hey, where are you? I’m worried. I want you to come home. Please.”
He stared at his phone for several minutes, hoping she would respond. He thought about sending another text. About telling her right now that he loved her. But in the end, he decided it would make it too cheap and feel too desperate to send something that important over text and especially in this situation. She would just have to come back.