Chapter 10
Gabe walked into the apartment and shut the door behind him. It banged loudly, but he didn’t care. “Whooot!” he shouted into the empty room.
Carolyn came hurrying in a moment later. She took one look at him and laughed. “Hi. What’s going on?”
“I had the most amazing day ever.”
She came to hug him, leaning in over her bulging belly. “Glad to hear it. Anything in particular?”
“Everything is just better. My throwing distance, my tackles, my running speed. You must be good luck or something. This week, every single stat of mine improved. Coach is thrilled. The rest of the team might hate me, but hey, they’ll love it later when we win games.”
“They hate you?” She looked up at him. “Why?”
“Jealousy. I’m the obvious favorite.”
“Not surprised.”
He put his hand to her cheek and kissed her. All day, he’d been thinking about coming home to her and kissing her. To having sex later. Just the sight of her, all round in the stomach and full in the breasts had him hard already. But his stomach growled, fighting for his attention.
“I’m starving,” he said. “What do you want for dinner?”
“Well.” She twisted her hands together and looked at him nervously. “I already made dinner, actually.”
“You did?” He went into the bedroom to toss his gym bag in the corner and kick off his sneakers. She followed him in, and watched him.
“I’m not sure how good it’ll be, though.”
“As long as it’s food, it’s fine.”
He followed her to the kitchen, almost laughing at the fact that she was standing in front of the stove, feet bare, hand to her back, stomach touching the oven’s door. It was such a cliche, the whole pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen thing, but he was loving it. He’d spent a lot of time recently picturing himself as a father, picturing what their life would be like, how they’d be a family. It was hard to imagine. This was all so new to him. He figured he was romanticizing it. The guys on the team who had kids had given him plenty of warning—sleepless nights, messy diapers, spit up, an exhausted girlfriend, a messy house. He thought he was prepared, but he also had the sneaking suspicion that this was of those life things that you were never fully prepared for.
Still, as he watched her stir whatever was in the pot, he not only wanted her right there, naked and riding his hard dick, but he wanted her in his life, having his babies, maybe forever. Hopefully forever. He’d make sure none of that divorce bullshit ever happened in his life. Even that thought was somewhat ironic. He wanted one divorce very badly—hers and Sam’s. He may have finally given up and left town after a while, but he still hadn’t signed the papers. When he married Carolyn, though, it would be different. He’d be a good husband to her. And no way was he going to put his kids through a divorce. He’d find a way to make it work. To win her over and make her happy for a long time.
Some days, he wasn’t sure if she even liked him, or just tolerated him. They’d been not so much fighting, but bickering a lot. Sometimes it was petty stuff, like how he never remembered to wash the toothpaste out of the sink and that bugged her. But sometimes it felt more serious. Like, if they couldn’t agree now whether or not to baptize the baby after he or she was born, what else wouldn’t they be able to agree on? He still hadn’t been brave enough to tell his parents that she was very against the whole “baby dunking” thing, as she called it.
He wondered, too, about this Sam guy. She had been planning to go back to him before he happened to run into her. Did she still love him? They hadn’t talked much about it. Mostly because he got too mad and jealous just thinking of it, he figured if he had answers to some of his questions, like how long were they married for, how long had they dated before they got married, he’d been even more tangled up in emotions over this. And she didn’t seem concerned about getting the divorce taken care of. He’d only asked once since the day Sam showed up, and she’d said she was taking care of it, but she’d also seemed annoyed that he asked. She’d almost left once without telling him that she was carrying his baby. What if she left again, once the baby came? If Sam’s name ended up on the birth certificate, would he be able to fight to get his child back? There had to be testing for that sort of thing, right? Or was the law so whacked that he wouldn’t be able to take a baby from a married couple, even if it was his?
If he thought about these things too much, they kept him up at night. So now, when his brain went crazy, he shifted it to happier things. He made lists of names in his head. He thought of ways to surprise Carolyn or to show her how important she was to him. Anything to make their relationship better by the time the baby came. Things would likely get worse real fast during that time. Maybe he’d be making enough by then to hire a cleaning lady or someone to help her.
He moved his attention back to her. Whatever she had cooked for dinner didn’t smell too great. But, before he even tasted it, he’d made up his mind to thank her and compliment her. She had put in the effort, so that counted for something.
She turned to him, a hesitant smile on her face. “I’m sorry. This might be awful.”
“I’m sure it’ll be great.” He went to the refrigerator and took out two bottles of water.
Carolyn dished out two bowls full of the soup that was in the pot. It looked like water with chunks floating in it.
He took the water, and she followed with the bowls into the living room. The sofa was their only place to sit besides the bed, and the coffee table was their only table, so for now, all meals happened in the living room. Gabe flipped on the TV and stuck his spoon into the soup.
It looked like she’d just thrown some vegetables into a pot of water, and added chicken. He blew off the steam and took a bite. And it tasted like she’d just thrown a bunch of veggies and chicken into a pot of water. No spices, no flavoring of any kind. It wasn’t terrible, though. A bit like eating a meal that’d gotten wet, but it didn’t taste especially bad.
He smiled at her, but her face was sad.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“It’s horrible.” She set the bowl down and slumped into the couch.
“Where did you get the recipe from?”
“I didn’t use a recipe. I just made it up.”
“Oh.” He thought for a moment. How could he say this nicely? “Well, it might be helpful to get a recipe book since you’re just learning. I use recipes all the time.”
“Yeah, I guess. I was going to look something up on my phone, but I think whoever’s wi-fi we were using caught on, because now there’s a password.”
“So, we have no internet?”
She shook her head. “Not unless they take off the password or someone else gets wi-fi close to us.”
“We’ll be able to get our own soon enough.”
She stared straight ahead, lost in thought.
“Hey,” he said. “Thanks for making dinner. I appreciate it.”
“Yeah. I’ll try to make it better next time.”
“I’ll see if my mom has any recipe books that she’s not using. Any luck on the job hunt today?”
Again, she shook her head. “I kinda feel like I’m failing at life.”
“Why?”
“Well, let’s see. I dropped out of school to have a baby to a guy I’m not married to, while trying to get my drunk ex to give me a divorce. I can’t get a job, and I sit around all day because this place is so small, it doesn’t take long to clean. I’ve even been reading lots of baby books from the library, but I can only read so much a day.”
“Once the baby comes, you’ll be so busy, you’ll miss this time.”
“I guess, but right now I feel like I’m just letting you down.”
“You’re not.” He picked up her hand and kissed it. “You’re busy making our baby. That’s a lot. I can see how tired you are. Do you nap during the day?”
She nodded with a guilty look.
“Good. You should be. Sleep now while you have the chance.”
The Friday after their last pre-season game, a bunch of the guys decided to hit a bar to celebrate their win. Gabe texted Carolyn to let her know: “Going to the bar with some guys from the team. I’m just going to drink one beer, though.”
“Have fun!” she responded. “Call me if you need a ride or anything.”
“I’m not getting drunk. Promise.”
After all she’d been through with Sam and even with him, he knew she had to be worried about him drinking too much, even if she didn’t say it. And after the last time he’d gotten too drunk and had to call her, he knew he needed to get a better handle on it. He couldn’t go back to drinking every day like that. And if he was going to be a father, and have any chance of being a husband, then he had to keep his life in order.
But he wanted to celebrate. Training had been hard, and they’d practiced endlessly. Pre-season had gone well. His team had won most of their games, and learned from their losses. He was clearly the star of the team, and the other teams seemed to know it, too. They were probably right now scrambling to make new plays to counter his skills. Once the season started, there would be no drinking at all. With the baby coming in just a couple months, this might be his last chance to spend time out with friends.
Gabe sat at the table beside Kenny. Two of their other teammates, Justin and Dan, sat across from them. A pitcher of beer sat in the middle, and they all reached to fill their glasses.
“Man, that was a killer game today,” Dan said. “I can’t wait for the real season to start.”
“I don’t know,” Justin said. “I think Gabe is going to tear it up. Those other teams don’t stand a chance.”
“And we know he’ll be on the field more than anyone,” Kenny added.
“Coach wouldn’t dream of letting his star sit out.” Dan punched Gabe’s shoulder and they all laughed.
“Ha ha.” Gabe took a sip of his beer. “Just remember that when we win.”
“How could we forget?” Kenny asked. “It’s always, ‘Look at how Gabe does it.’ ‘You need to throw as far as Gabe.’ You’ve become the older brother none of us can live up to.”
“I’m just trying to set a good example.” He raised his glass, then downed the rest of his beer in one final gulp.
“Hear, hear.” Justin raised his, too, and did the same.
“The real question is, when this baby of yours comes, are you still going to be the star, or will you show up for games tired, with spit up all over your jersey?” Dan asked.
“I would not want to be in your shoes,” Kenny said. “After my last mess up, I always make sure I have plenty of protection.”
“We didn’t plan it,” Gabe said, “but I’m really excited. I always wanted kids. And this one came as a nice surprise. The season will be over by the time it comes, anyway.”
“Nice timing on that,” Justin said.
“When do we get to meet your lovely baby mama?” Dan asked.
Gabe chuckled. “I don’t know. At the banquet, I guess. Isn’t that when all the wives and girlfriends come?”
“Yup,” Justin said. “My wife already has her dress all picked out and everything.”
“I need to find a date,” Kenny said. He looked around the bar. “Kinda empty tonight.”
Gabe’s phone buzzed on the table and he glanced over to see a text from Carolyn. “I’m really tired. Going to bed, but please CALL ME if you need anything, okay?”
He texted back, “I will. I’m already done drinking.”
“Is that the little misses now?” Dan asked.
“Yeah.”
“Let’s see a picture,” Justin said. “Is she getting all big?”
His mouth pulled into a smile. “Yeah. It’s kinda hot.”
Kenny nudged him. “Nice. Does she know that bear babies tend to be big?”
“What do you mean?” Gabe asked. Carolyn had only been reading books on purely human babies. He hadn’t thought to tell her to read up on shifter babies specifically. “Why would they be any different?”
Gabe scrolled to the latest photo he had of Carolyn, one she’d had him take to send her mom to show how big she was getting. He slid the phone across the table to Justin.
“They just are,” Kenny said. “I don’t know. But my mom won’t quit bragging about it to her non-shifter friends.”
“Wow, she’s pretty,” Justin said. “You might be right. Maybe it’s time I made a baby myself. It is hot.”
Dan leaned over to look with him. “Damn. For sure.”
Kenny leaned in, then grabbed the phone from Justin. “Whoa. What’s her name?”
“Carolyn.” Gabe reached for his phone, but Kenny started scrolling through the photos. “Hey, what are you doing?”
“Oh wow.” Kenny gave the phone back and ran his fingers through his hair. “I slept with your girl, man.”
“What?” Gabe stuck his phone in his pocket, his face suddenly hot.
“It’s been a while.” He put his hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “Not since you’ve been together, bro.”
Gabe gritted his teeth. Even if it was before, he didn’t want to think of Carolyn sleeping with Kenny. “When was this?”
“A few months ago. Remember, you were with me right after when we were here and I was looking for her.” He paused to think for a minute. “Maybe you’re why she never called me back. She met you.”
He remembered that night. And it was after they’d slept together. Not much after, either. Then, he remembered Kenny saying he’d messed up and not used a condom with someone he slept with. “Wait a second.” He gripped Kenny’s shoulder hard. “The night you screwed up and forgot a condom?”
“That was her.” Kenny nodded, then reality hit him. He looked at Gabe with a pale face and wide eyes. “Oh. Do you think…?”
Gabe’s jaw ached under the pressure he was putting on it. So, Carolyn had slept with him, then with Kenny within a few weeks’ time, and she hadn’t used a condom with either of them? She told him she had messed up taking her birth control pills, and that’s how she got pregnant. Exactly how much had she messed up? And how did she know for sure it was Gabe’s?
Dan and Justin exchanged looks. Everything went silent. Then, some kind of ringing started in Gabe’s ears. Rage tore through him, bringing with it all the feelings he’d been good at suppressing. All the anger over Austin’s death, all the aching hurt. The confusion of his situation, of being a father unexpectedly, of having to care for a family before being ready for one. Even positive emotions were mixed in, like the joy of having Carolyn be his, and knowing he’d soon have a son or daughter. A tornado of feelings took him to his feet, towering over Kenny.
Dan was on his feet, too, and Justin followed.
Dan put his hand on Gabe’s shoulder, trying to push him back down. “Don’t take it out on him.”
Justin stepped between them. “He said he didn’t sleep with her while you were with her. You can’t blame him for that.”
“Maybe not,” Gabe growled. “But tearing him to pieces would feel pretty good anyway.” He could feel the bear in him, itching to get out. He needed to shift so badly, to bolt through the forest as fast as he could. His hands clenched into fists.
“I’m sorry,” Kenny said. “It’s not like I did it on purpose. And she wasn’t with you at the time, I swear.”
“It was after we were together,” Gabe said.
“How was I supposed to know? She was just some chick in a bar and when I hit on her, she went for it. I didn’t know she was involved with you.”
“Oh, now she’s ‘just some chick in a bar’?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Kenny said.
“Okay, why don’t you just step outside and get some fresh air for a while?” Dan said.
Gabe sat back down, hard. There was only one way to fix this. He poured another glass of beer and downed in a few gulps. He pointed at Kenny. “Go get some shots. It’s the least you can do.”
Kenny scrambled to the bar. Dan and Justin sat down, but watched him.
“You okay?” Justin asked.
“No.” Gabe poured the last of the beer and drank it, staring into the bottom of his empty glass. If he wasn’t careful, he would shatter the glass with his grip.
“Just talk to her,” Dan said. “I’m sure she knows the timing. I’m sure everything is fine.”
Gabe nodded. But what if the reason she hadn’t planned to tell him was because she didn’t know if it was his baby? Was there even a way she could know for sure?”
Kenny sat back down, setting a tray of shots in the middle of the table. Gabe reached out and downed three quickly. Kenny eyed him, and scooted his chair away from him a bit.
“Do you want to just hit me and get it over with?” Kenny asked.
“If I hit you,” Gabe said, glaring, “I won’t stop.”
Kenny narrowed his eyes. “You’re the one that’s with her, man. She chose you. Don’t forget that. I called her, like, ten times and texted. She totally ignored me. So, there you go. You’re the star even when it comes to women.”
“Don’t try to fix this,” Gabe said.
Justin spoke up. “You’re going to have to deal with it. The season is starting. You can’t be fighting and expect to work well together. We need you two to work well together.”
“The whole team needs you to,” Dan said.
“It’ll be fine,” Gabe said. “I’ll just slit his throat in his sleep, and we won’t have to worry about anything at all.”
Dan and Justin exchanged another look. Gabe drank a few more shots, not caring that they were intended for everyone. He needed to numb the pain and the rage, and he needed to do it fast. Before he lost his mind.