Chapter 12
Carolyn read his text again. He seemed much calmer this morning. Was probably sober now at least. Hungover maybe. She wanted to go home. She wanted to fix things with him and for things to be good again. Or at least for them to return to trying to make things good. They were still struggling a bit, but things had been going so well. Would this destroy everything?
On one hand, she had to worry about making sure he was okay. That he would forgive her for keeping such a horrible secret. For not knowing for sure whose baby she was carrying. She had to do everything she could to make him forgive her.
But on the other hand, she was now a little scared of him. He’d been so angry and the first thing she thought of when she opened the door and saw him, was Sam. She couldn’t do this again. This drunken angry outburst thing. She’d gone through too much of it with Sam. She had always had that in the back of her mind, of course. She’d had to rescue Gabe in a drunken stupor, after all. And that was the reason she’d decided then not to have a relationship with him. But now that there was a baby involved, she’d had to overlook that. And it’d been easy because he was doing so well. With his new position on the team, he was so focused and dedicated to playing that he hadn’t been drinking. She thought he was going to be fine.
But maybe she’d been wrong. Maybe this was the thing that would push him back over the edge. Maybe she ruined him and he’d go back to drinking all the time and he’d turn into a drunken, angry beast of a man who would make last night look tame. She didn’t want to go through all of that again. Couldn’t. And especially not with a baby.
But now, here was his text. Sounding calm and sober and sorry. But was this the normal calm after the storm? Sam had done that, too. He’d get drunk and do something stupid and she’d have to rescue him. One time, he’d gotten so drunk, he couldn’t find his car at the bar. She’d come in the middle of the night to pick him up. More than once he’d been arrested and she had to bail him out of jail. Once he was puking on the side of the road and didn’t think he’d make it home. And many, many times, he would make it home, then he’d scream at her and there’d be fighting. And always, the next day he was sorry and he’d never do it again. Then he always did.
“Hey Carolyn.” There was a gentle knock on the guest room door. “You up? Want some breakfast?” Justin’s wife, Amanda, peaked her head into the room.
“That would be great.” Carolyn stretched and joined Amanda in the kitchen, watching her pour pancake batter onto a flat pan.
“I think I need to get you to teach me to cook,” Carolyn said. “I worry that I might accidentally poison Gabe one of these days with something I do wrong.”
“That’s pretty hard to do, but I’d be happy to teach you. My mother taught me most of what I know.”
Carolyn smiled. Must be nice to have a mother who was home enough to do that. Her own mother had to work so much, there was little time for domestic life. But maybe if Carolyn learned, she could teach her own child.
They sat in the dining room to eat breakfast. Amanda had called down to Justin, who was in their basement, working out. Carolyn felt jealous of them. They had a nice house, and Amanda clearly had things together. She had a good job and was beautiful. She made delicious food and their house was neat and organized and well decorated. Carolyn would be embarrassed to have her come to their apartment. Her and Gabe had an ugly hodge podge of furniture and other household items. Maybe it would get better when he started making better money—if they were still together then. The thought gave her a sharp ache in her chest.
This baby might end up fatherless in the end. Despite having Sam and Gabe fight over it, despite the possibility that Kenny was the father. Three possible fathers, but only one was a decent choice. And she might have ruined it entirely. She probably could still go back to Sam. He’d take her back. And they weren’t divorced yet. She had the paperwork sitting on her dresser. If he agreed to sign, that was it. Then maybe he wouldn’t take her back after that. But knowing Sam, he’d never turn her down.
“Do you think you’ll have kids someday?” Carolyn asked. Then Amanda would not only be the perfect wife, she’d be the perfect mother, too.
“I want to. We’ve discussed it. Maybe we’ll start trying once the pro money comes in. It’ll make a big difference, you know?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t want to admit how much they needed that money. How the bills were piling up without it, despite them trying not to spend money. “I wish I had been able to get a job to help out until then.”
“Oh, but it’s better if you can rest. You shouldn’t have to work. You’re getting so close.”
“Yeah. Less than three months now. Feels like both forever and not enough time.”
“I can imagine.” Amanda smiled warmly. “It’s such a huge life change.”
She swallowed hard. It was one she’d imagined going through with Gabe by her side. But what if she had to do it alone? The tears welled in her eyes.
Amanda reached out her hand and covered Carolyn’s. “I’m sure you’ll work everything out. Justin has nothing but great things to say about Gabe. He’s the star. Everyone loves him. He’s a good guy.”
Carolyn nodded slowly and wiped her eyes. She wished she could tell Amanda more, but she barely knew her. They’d only met a few times at events where the significant others were invited. She hadn’t know who else to call. She had no friends here. Well, Mikaela, but she was off living the college life that Carolyn should be enjoying right now. She didn’t want to disturb her with her problems. They hadn’t been talking much lately, anyway. They certainly weren’t close enough anymore that Carolyn felt like she could call on her for something like that. To have her sneak her into her dorm room. And where would she have even stayed once successfully snuck? On the floor in a cramped room? Squished in a small bed with her big belly and Mikaela?
Calling Amanda had been a good choice. Carolyn had gone to the closest business—a small local diner, and waited. She didn’t have Amanda’s number, but they were friends online. She messaged her and prayed that she’d answer. She had. She’d come to get her and they’d talked for hours. She talked with Justin a bit after he had gotten home. He explained what happened when they were out. But he also thought she should talk to Kenny. In case it was his. Well, now that he knew, she guessed she should, though she had never planned on him finding out. Things would be much easier if Gabe hadn’t known there was a chance it wasn’t his.
In her mind, it had been perfect. They were both bear shifters. How often did that happen, that she slept with two guys so close together and that they both happened to be shifters? Maybe Gabe was used to being around lots of shifters—he was in an entire league full of them and spent most of his time with his team of fellow shifters. But she hadn’t known so many. So, the coincidence seemed perfect. The baby would be half shifter either way. When she planned to go back to Sam, she hoped that it wouldn’t be too big of a deal. If it was only half, maybe there was a chance the baby wouldn’t shift at all? She had no idea how that worked.
“How much do you know about having shifter babies?” Carolyn asked.
“Well, my uncle married a shifter, so I have some shifter cousins. They always seemed very human to me. I never knew there was a difference when I was a kid until I realized that no matter how old I got, I’d never be able to change into a bear like they could.”
“Gabe said that shifter babies are bigger, though?”
“That’s what Justin’s mom says, too. Have you read any books on shifter pregnancy?” Amanda asked.
“No. I didn’t realize there was a difference.”
“Might be a good idea. I think it helps you with the early shifting stuff, too.”
Carolyn ran her fingers through her hair. If having a baby wasn’t enough, she had to deal with all this shifter stuff she hadn’t even considered. How could she be so naive to think there was no difference? Because everyone knowing about shifters was a new thing? Maybe the info just wasn’t there. Maybe there weren’t a ton of half human, half shifter kids out there.
“But if our baby is only half shifter, won’t that mean he or she will shift less? Or maybe not at all?”
Amanda shook her head. “It doesn’t work that way. You being human means that there is a chance the baby won’t be a shifter, but it’s a very small chance. There really isn’t such a thing as a half shifter. You either shift or you don’t.”
“Oh. I guess I need to learn more.”
Amanda got up and went into the other room, then came back with a book. “Read this. It’s helped me.”
The book was titled, “Life With a Shifter.” According to the back, it was written to help humans live with shifters and explain what to expect when you have a shifter partner. Where had this book been for the last months? She should have read it long ago.
But it seemed that Gabe was right about shifter babies being bigger. Just the thought made her stomach twist. What if it was Kenny’s? What if he was right? That had been what she based things on, and she hadn’t told her doctor because she didn’t think it was an important detail. The doctor hadn’t asked, either. Now her 90% assurance was somewhere around 50/50. She couldn’t blame Gabe for being pissed. She was pissed at herself for getting into such a situation. Part of her wondered if it would have been better to stay at home with her mom and Sam after all. At least Sam knew for sure it wasn’t his. No question there.
Carolyn picked at her pancake. She had been so hungry, but now she couldn’t eat anything. Her stomach was in knots. Eating meant she would likely throw up.
Justin came thundering up the stairs. He stuck his head in the living room. “Smells awesome.”
“There are plenty of pancakes left on the counter,” Amanda said.
Justin came in a few minutes later with a stack of pancakes, drizzling syrup over them. He shoved several forkfuls into his mouth before speaking. “I’m so hungry. This is perfect.”
Amanda smiled at him.
“So,” Justin said, swallowing hard around a huge mouthful of food. “Kenny is going to stop by.”
“What!” Carolyn felt the blood drain from her face and rush to her stomach. Now she was really glad she hadn’t eaten anything. Her stomach was cramping up, ready to spill its contents the second it had any.
“Why is he coming?” Amanda asked.
Justin looked surprised at their outrage. “To talk to Carolyn.”
Carolyn closed her eyes. Maybe she could just grab her stuff and run out the door. “When will he be here?”
“Why would you tell him she’s here? Why would you tell him to come?” Amanda demanded.
Justin’s eyes went wide. “Umm, I thought they needed to talk?”
Amanda pushed back from the table. “Carolyn, if you want to leave before he gets here, I’ll take you.” She gave Justin a look that said she was unhappy with him.
“Wait a second.” Justin got to his feet. “They should talk, shouldn’t they? I mean…”
“But not like this! Not right now.” Amanda shook her head. “What were you thinking? Don’t you think you should have asked her first?”
“I… didn’t think it was a big deal.”
Carolyn tried to make the room stop spinning. “I can’t deal with all this right now.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. The last thing she needed was some huge blowout with Kenny on top of everything else that was going on. “Gabe texted me. I’ll have him come get me so we can talk.”
She took out her phone and texted, “I’m at Justin and Amanda’s. Can you come get me?”
Justin took out his phone, too. “I’ll tell him not to come.” He tapped on the screen, then set his phone down. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a problem.”
Amanda cleared the dishes from the table, rolling her eyes at him. In the kitchen, she said to Carolyn, “I’m sorry about that. I can’t believe he told Kenny you were here and that it was okay to come.”
“I’m sure he meant well.”
“At least he texted him back and told him not to come.”
“Yeah.” Carolyn twisted her fingers together nervously. Would that stop Kenny from coming, though? “Gabe is on his way.” At least that’s what his text back to her had said.
She went into the guest room where she had stayed and put her few things into her bag. Then she sat in the living room with Amanda, waiting for Gabe. After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door.
“That must be Gabe.” Amanda got to her feet and went to the door.
Carolyn took a deep breath and prepared herself to see him. Mostly, she just planned to apologize a lot. She got to her feet, but stopped short when she heard Amanda answer the door.
“What are you doing here? You can’t be here,” Amanda said.
That couldn’t be Gabe, then. Kenny had come after all.
“I need to talk to Carolyn.” It was Kenny’s voice.
She wanted to run upstairs and hide. Anything to avoid this conversation. But he was here now and Gabe was on his way. Maybe it was best to do this now, when she was guaranteed to have it cut short and have Gabe come rescue her.
She walked out to the entryway. “Hey,” she said to him.
“I was just telling him to go,” Amanda said.
“It’s okay. We do need to talk,” Carolyn said.
“Are you sure?” Amanda asked.
Carolyn nodded her head and Amanda stepped aside to let him in. Then she disappeared into the next room to give them privacy.
“Is it true?” Kenny snapped. “Is it mine?”
“No.” Carolyn glared. “Who told you that?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Just with the timing and all. That it could be?”
“It’s Gabe’s.”
“And you’re sure?”
She crossed her arms. “I’m sure that he’s the one who’s best suited to be this baby’s father.”
“So, then you’re not sure it’s his.”
“Does it really matter whose it is?”
“Yes it matters!” Kenny balled his hands into fists. “Why didn’t you call me back?”
“The same reason that it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Why? What does Gabe have that I don’t have?”
She raised her eyebrows at him and almost laughed. “Are you serious?”
Kenny glared and gritted his jaw. “That could be my baby. You owe me a chance if it is.”
“I don’t owe you anything. It’s my baby and my decision.”
“Not if it’s my baby. I get a say, too.”
“Actually, my husband gets a say before you do.” At least Sam could give her some leverage there. Though she hated to use that horrible fact as anything of a reason.
“You and Gabe aren’t married.”
“No, we’re not. That’s why I said my husband, not Gabe.”
He pulled his eyebrows together. “So you’re married and with Gabe?”
“In the process of getting a divorce. But because of the whacked laws, my husband has more of a right to this baby than you do.”
“But… but…” He ran his fingers through his hair and his face softened. “Carolyn, I really like you. I wanted more than one night. That’s why I kept calling. It’s not my fault that we’re not together. I wanted to be with you.”
“I’m sorry, Kenny. I don’t feel the same. It was a mistake to hookup with you.”
“Well, I am used to being a mistake to those I care about. See, you’d fit right in with my family.” He laughed humorlessly.
She wasn’t falling for those games. Sam had given her far too much experience in that department. “I’m sorry if that’s how your family feels. But that doesn’t mean that us being together is right.”
“You really think Gabe will stick with you if it’s not his? He won’t, you know. He’ll leave you, and then you’ll be all alone. Then, you’ll be wishing you’d given me a shot. I can take care of you, Carolyn.”
She thought back to their night together. How he’d been so rough and it had hurt. She didn’t like it, and she didn’t like him. He had been a mistake. A huge one. And it was enough to make her never want to have a one-night stand again. The fact that now he wouldn’t go away, just reinforced that feeling.
“You’re wrong about Gabe,” she said. “He wouldn’t do that. He won’t leave me.” Though, she was anything but sure of that fact.
“Why isn’t he here now?”
“We had a fight and I came here to give him space. He’s on his way to get me.”
“And I got here first. See, I can be there for you, Carolyn. Give me a chance.”
“I’ll tell you what. If I find out the baby’s not Gabe’s I’ll call you, okay?”
Carolyn jumped at the sound of the door suddenly being thrown open. Gabe stared at them, a look full of rage on his face.