Chapter 7
Carolyn’s head was spinning when she got on the plane. She sat in stunned silence, going over everything he’d said. Never could she have imagined that conversation would have gone like that. That he would be so willing and so decent about it all. Most of what she felt was relief. Almost suffocating relief. She could sob her eyes out right there, but she wouldn’t. Not on a plane. She could do that later.
Now she wouldn’t have to go back to Sam. She’d spent so much time thinking and talking to him and her mom. They’d come to the conclusion that returning to Sam would be best, now that he was sober. She would be near her family, and he would take care of her and the baby like it was his own.
But his drinking wasn’t their only problem. Her and Sam had been a disaster from the start. Her stomach ached at the thought of retuning to that. Of reliving the hell that her life with Sam had been. It may have been the best thing for the baby, but it wasn’t the best thing for her. Not at all.
And there was Gabe, who had at the last minute, come in and saved her this time. They were even now. She’d saved him from ruining his life, and he’d saved her from ruining hers. That had to be something of a decent foundation for a relationship, right? Couldn’t be the worst. And he was the father, after all. He did deserve a shot. She owed him that much. She felt horrible now for not telling him. For knowing that she was never going to tell him. She was going to take his baby from him, and he never would have known it existed. And if she’d done that, she would have taken a child from a man who seemed like he actually wanted to be a father and be there for his kid.
Maybe it was because her own father had left her mother when she pregnant, but she’d assumed Gabe would want no part. That he’d do what her father had done and tried to make sure she never existed. Luckily, her mother had her family and she went to them. Otherwise, Carolyn might not even be alive today. She’d thought following her mother’s footsteps was the only way. And making it a tiny bit better by going back to Sam so at least the baby had some sort of father.
But now, if she could be with Gabe and make it work? Raise this baby together, with both of its biological parents? That had to be the best way. Had to be. And she wouldn’t have to go back to Sam.
She couldn’t help it. The tears ran silently down her cheeks. She would go visit, and she would get to leave. She wouldn’t be dragged back to her old life after all. And nothing felt better than knowing that.
Once she had gotten to the airport and greeted her mother and was in her mother’s car, she texted Gabe. He had seemed so adorably worried that she wouldn’t return. If only he knew the whole story. Maybe it would come out eventually, but now she would just do everything she could to assure him.
“Hey! It’s Carolyn. Landed and with my mom.”
“Great!” he texted back. “Have a great time! I have a list of places to look at this week.”
“Awesome. Send me pics!”
“Will do.” And he added a smiley face.
Her heart felt warm and light. Gabe seemed really sweet. He was a good guy. And he was hers now. Sort of? At least she had the option of making him hers. She wouldn’t rush things, but they would be in each other’s lives forever now. They had to make the best of it and try to make it work. So far, it seemed like things would be easy with him. She hoped.
Her mother took her home and during the drive, Carolyn caught her up on all that had happened in the airport.
“I am so happy for you, sweetheart,” her mom said, squeezing her hand as they stood in the kitchen. “I never wanted you to make the same mistakes I did, and it seems that you’re doing things right. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Well, I guess he’ll be traveling a lot. Is there a local team in the new shifter league?”
“I think so.”
“Then maybe he’ll come here to play them.”
There was a knock on the door a short time later, while they were having lemonade and talking. Her mom answered the door and came back to Carolyn with a hesitant look on her face. “It’s Sam,” she whispered.
Carolyn took in a long breath. She knew she’d have to do this, of course. The last time they talked, she told him she was moving home to be with him, and now everything was changing. This was not going to be easy.
“I’ll just go on upstairs,” her mom said.
Sam walked into the living room and greeted her with a hug. “It’s so good to see you, Care. I missed you.”
She ended the hug and went to sit on the couch. “We need to talk.”
“I know it’s not going to be easy, and I’m ready to work hard. I’ve already talked to the pastor, and he’s going to meet with us and everything.”
“Sam. I’m not staying.”
“What do you mean?” His face fell and he looked so sad. Her heart twinged at the sight and the tears that came so easily with her pregnancy hormones and all this heartache, returned.
“I’m so sorry. I know I said I would stay and we would be together again. But I told the father, and he wants to take of me, of us. He wants to make it work. And I think I owe him that much. It is his baby after all.”
Sam’s mouth hung open slightly. “No. You said you were coming back. You can’t do this to me. I won’t let you.”
“You really don’t have a choice. It’s not your baby.”
“But it can be! I will be the best father to this baby ever.”
“Better than its own father?”
Sam gritted his teeth and glared at her. “You can’t do this to me.”
“Well, see, there’s your first problem. I’m not doing this to you. I’m making the best decision for me and my child. And you’re making it all about you instead of realizing what’s best for the baby. So, already, you’re not putting the baby first. And you’re not putting me first. And this was most of our problem in the first place. Your selfishness. You think this wasn’t a hard decision? It’s been nothing but the most difficult decisions of my life since I found out I was pregnant. And I made a few of the wrong ones, which I’m now going to correct. But I cannot change my whole life, take away a child from a man who wants to be in its life and has every right to, just because you screwed up and now that you’re sober, think you deserve another chance.”
“Fine.” He stood up. “That’s just fine. Go off with your little boyfriend. Have his baby. You stupid slut. Don’t come running back to me when he hits you or leaves you or whatever horrible thing he’s going to do to you. Because he will. You’re brilliant at choosing men to be with.”
“Clearly,” she said through her tears.
He glared again and the walls shook as he slammed the door.
Her mother came thundering down the steps and took her into her arms. “I heard the whole thing. You are making the right choice, honey. He’s not the best thing for you.”
“And he made that very obvious.”
Later that night, she called Gabe. Hearing his voice made the annoyance of seeing Sam go away. She was starting to really like him. And he sounded excited about the whole baby thing and about being with her.
“I told my parents today,” he said proudly. “They’re excited to be grandparents. They really want to meet you. Is that okay?”
“Of course. I’d have you meet my family if they weren’t so far away.”
“I wish they weren’t so far away. Hey, who knows, maybe I’ll get traded to a team closer.” He laughed.
“That would be nice.” Though living so close to Sam wouldn’t be. She wasn’t going to worry about that now. He was out of her life, hopefully for good this time.
“Oh hey, my mom asked me to ask you. What’s your due date?”
“Christmas day, believe it or not.”
“Wow,” he said. “What an awesome gift.”
Carolyn came back to Springfield after two weeks and three more fights with Sam. She tried to avoid him, but he kept showing up. Or he’d be there at church where he knew they would be. He was telling everyone that she was pregnant with his baby, but was leaving him anyway. People kept coming up to her, asking why she wouldn’t give Sam a chance. Until she told them he was lying to everyone and it wasn’t even his baby.
The worst fight had been the night before she left. He’d shown up at her mom’s house, drunk. She was so disappointed to see him like that, to see him give up his sober time. Sam had stood on the front step, screaming at them until they had to call the cops to get him to leave. She’d called Gabe, and he made her feel better.
When she walked off the plane and went to meet him, her heart was racing. When she saw his face, it leapt for joy. She threw her arms around him and pressed her lips hard against his.
“Thank you for coming back,” he said.
“We need to work on this trust thing,” she said as he picked up her bag. “I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
“I’m sorry.” He took her hand. “I’ll believe you. I narrowed it down to three places. We can look at them tomorrow and decide. They’re not the biggest places, but it’s all we qualify for with my current income. Next year, we can find something bigger.”
“I’ve been living in a dorm room for the last year. Anything bigger than that will be fine.”
“Well, they’re bigger than a dorm room.”
He’d clearly done his homework. When he showed her the photos and the information sheets for each one, he pointed out how the baby’s room would be close in this apartment, and this one was close to the park so they could take the baby for walks and to go play when it got older, and this one had great schools. Though, she pointed out, they weren’t planning to stay there that long.
They went to look at each apartment and in the end, the one near the park felt right. It was bright and open, the biggest of the three, though also the most expensive. She promised him she’d work somewhere as long as she could, and he said that by the time she was further along, he’d start getting his pro ball salary, and she could quit. They might have a tough few months, but he promised it would be better soon.
They signed the new lease and planned to move in right away. Carolyn had already packed up her dorm room and mailed a few boxes to her mother’s. It was all she had here. When she was home to visit, the boxes had arrived, and she’d sent them right back, to where Gabe was currently living this time, since she no longer had a place to live.
It was nice to stay with Gabe the night she got back. He’d cuddled with her until she fell asleep. They hadn’t had sex, and she wasn’t sure what to think or feel about that. She had been pretty tired. And he seemed to be handling her so delicately. Maybe he was afraid to have sex with her? Well, if they were going to live together and be in a relationship, he’d have to get over that. And fast.