CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ryanne
It’s close to two in the morning by the time I make it home. The house is dark and quiet as I toe off my cowgirl boots and wiggle my aching toes. Keeping my steps light, I walk around the main floor looking for Justice. When I see no sign of him, I climb the stairs and come to a stop just outside Hannah’s open bedroom door.
My heart falters, exploding with love seeing the two of them sleeping soundly together. Justice’s big body hangs off the bed while Hannah sleeps on top of him, clinging to his chest. His strong arms hold her close, a place I’ve often longed to feel again.
All of her Beanie Boos surround them, a bright pink one covering half of Justice’s head. Never in my life did I think I’d see Justice Creed surrounded by stuffed animals but it’s the most precious moment I’ve ever witnessed.
Tiptoeing inside, I grab another blanket from her closet and drape it over them both, pressing a kiss to Hannah’s cheek. I refrain from pressing one to Justice’s, even though the urge to is strong. I’d love nothing more than to spend every second watching them like this but a hot shower desperately calls my name.
Ever so quietly, I let myself out and walk into my bedroom, heading straight to the bathroom. After removing my clothes, I step under the hot spray and let out a soft sigh. I spend long moments with my face turned up to the water, letting it wash the day away.
If only it could wash away my problems as easily. How different my life would be. The man next door would be waiting for me in our bed. To hold me like he holds our daughter and give me a safe place. It’s a dream I’ve foolishly had for a very long time.
Once the water turns cold, I climb out and wrap the towel around me. Stepping into my room, I find a dark figure standing just inside my doorway. A scream lodges in my throat as I stumble back into the wall before realizing who it is.
“Jesus, Justice,” I breathe, my hand covering my frantic heart. “What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that?”
Silence consumes the air, his intense eyes drifting down my half naked body, creating an illusion of his hands. I know that look, it’s both frightening and exhilarating.
“Justice.” His name falls on a whispered warning.
He ignores it and starts forward, his strides purposeful and gaze hungry. I suddenly feel like a frightened doe. He’s the hunter and I’m his prey, but I’m unable to move, anchored by his determined gaze and demanding presence.
I straighten from the wall, my pulse hammering as I cling to my towel for dear life. “I’m not strong enough to tell you no,” I confess quietly, hating how weak I am when it comes to him.
He cages me in, his hands planting on either side of my head. “Do you want to say no, Ryanne?”
My heart wages a war with my mind, two answers battling for dominance as I think long and hard about that question. Eventually, my fragile heart wins and I shake my head.
“Why?” He demands more than asks, his warm breath skimming across the damp skin of my cheek.
I lick my dry lips, doing my best to speak but it’s hard when he crowds me like this, taunting me with his touch. “Because it’s been six years since I’ve been with anyone.”
More importantly, it’s been six years since I felt his touch and I’ve missed it so much, but I keep that to myself. He has enough of my bleeding heart; I can’t afford to give him any more.
Deep, dark eyes stare into mine. “Are you telling me I’m the only one who has ever touched you?” There’s no denying the hard edge to his voice, a possession lying just beneath the surface.
I find myself answering with a nod, my throat too tight to speak.
He lifts a hand, coasting a lone finger over my collarbone to the swell of my breast, slipping it into the knot of my towel. “Do you know why?”
“Because I’ve been raising our daughter.”
He smirks at my gruff voice, enjoying every second of my torment. “As much as I appreciate the way you have taken care of Hannah, we both know that’s not the reason.” He rips the towel away, exposing my naked body.
A sharp breath moves swiftly into my lungs, trailing into a moan as the cool air whispers across my heated skin. It takes everything in me to remain upright and not melt into a puddle of need at his feet.
In the gentlest grip, he wraps his hand around my slender throat, my pulse point hammering against his fingertips as he tilts my head back to look me in the eyes. “No one has touched you, Ryanne, because you belong to me. You always have and you always will.”
Before I can even comprehend his words, his mouth slams down on mine, crashing through the last barrier I had in place. A cry of longing pours from my lips, his kiss possessing me right down to my very soul.
There’s no fighting it. This need, the magnetic pull between us is stronger than us both and I succumb to it, letting it drown me in my own desire.
His hard body covers mine, my back kissing the cool wall as his hot lips descend down my neck. When his mouth curls around one throbbing nipple, I jerk against him, another cry ripping from my throat.
He blows on the stiff peak, soothing the sting before taking the other one into his mouth and inflicting the same exquisite pleasure.
My head drops back, fingers gliding through his hair, every tug and sharp bite of his teeth making my pussy clench and ache for more. His mouth continues its tormented path, leaving its mark until he’s kneeling at my feet, his warm breath fanning over my hot center.
“Justice,” I moan, thrusting my hips toward his face. The need burning inside of me is combustible, searing me from the inside out.
He spreads me open for his viewing, taking a long, leisurely lick of my most intimate part.
“Oh god!” The heated whimper flees me, my knees buckling as desire floods every part of my body.
“Easy, baby,” he croons, gripping my bottom to keep me from crumbling to the floor. “We’re going to get this sweet, tight cunt nice and ready for me.” Without wasting another second, he buries his mouth between my legs, lapping at my hot flesh.
“Yes!” Pleasure races through my blood, my fingers ruthlessly pulling his hair as I shamelessly fuck his face.
When his tongue pierces my opening, I nearly come unhinged. Just as I think I can’t possibly take any more, he slips not one but two fingers inside, his lips still attached to my clit as he fucks me with his fingers, his digits stroking that hidden spot that is sure to make me fall apart.
My orgasm crashes over me like a tidal wave, strong and sure, submerging me in an undercurrent I never want to swim up from.
It turns out I don’t have to. Before I have any kind of chance to grasp reality, he’s on his feet, shirt off and pants undone. In a swift move, I’m lifted off my feet and pinned against the wall.
“Tell me you want this?” he demands, poising at my entrance with barely controlled restraint.
“I want this. I want you.”
I barely finish the words before he drives up into me in one powerful motion, immersing me further into an underworld where only he and I belong.
“Goddamn, Ryanne,” he groans, as affected by our connection as I am. “Years. For fucking years I’ve thought about this.”
I never forgot. Never forgot what it felt like to be his. On the coldest and loneliest nights, it was the memory of his touch that kept me warm.
His eyes are hard and unforgiving as he hammers into me with no apology. Just like the Justice Creed I’ve always known and loved. In the midst of fiery pleasure, one thought crashes down on me. One vital piece of information I can’t keep from him. Not this time.
“Justice…I’m not on anything.” The admission leaves me on a disappointed moan, panic infiltrating my chest at the thought of him leaving my body.
Instead of pulling out like I expect him to, a possessive growl vibrates his chest and he fucks me harder and faster.
“Oh god, this is so wrong,” I whimper. Deep down I know it is. Deep down I know I should tell him to stop but I can’t. Like always, my common sense is no match for the longing of my heart.
“There’s nothing wrong about us, Ryanne. It’s always been so fucking good and you know it.”
It has, it’s always felt so right. That’s what hurts the most, what we could have had if not for our pasts, especially the bond he shares with his brothers. I shove that thought away before it can ruin the moment. This one moment where nothing else in the world exists but us.
His fierce gaze penetrates mine in the quiet dark, intense and possessive, peeling away all the layers I fight to keep in place as he savagely delivers every frantic thrust.
I feel my orgasm build for a second time but I don’t want to go alone. My hand touches his face as I peer back at him. “Come with me.” I follow up the words by leaning down and sinking my teeth into his corded shoulder, hard enough that I taste blood.
“Fuck!” His growl tears through the air as we drown together in a sea of pleasure. It’s freeing and soul shattering.
I hug him close, words evading me at the storm of emotions sweeping through my body. He pushes away from the wall and walks us over to the bed, depositing me on the mattress. His body follows down next to me, wrapping around mine. I burrow in closer to him, savoring the warmth he offers.
Minutes pass as we lie together in comfortable silence but our thoughts and feelings are deafening.
“Tell me about the last six years,” he murmurs.
I turn to face him, his arm that’s wrapped around my waist bringing me in even closer. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything,” he says. “What was it like being pregnant? What was Hannah like as a baby? I want to know everything I missed out on.”
Guilt infiltrates my chest at the regret in his voice. I can’t take back what’s been done but I’ll do my best to fill in any holes and tell him everything he wants to know.
“My pregnancy at the beginning was exhausting,” I start quietly. “I was sick a lot, but it eventually passed. Good thing since I was losing weight when I should have been gaining. I didn’t start showing until around five months. The first time I felt her move inside of me…” I trail off, a smile whispering across my lips. “It was unlike anything I can explain. It felt so surreal to know I had this small human growing inside of my body. I fell in love with her right then.”
“Did you know she was a girl before she was born?”
I nod. “When I went for my first ultrasound I found out. I wanted to know since I was trying to decide on a name.”
“What would you have named her if she had been a boy?” he asks, sincere curiosity in his tone.
“Justice Thatcher Creed,” the answer leaves me without hesitation.
His jaw locks, but I’m not sure if it’s over the resentment he still feels or at the mention of his father. Probably both.
“Why Hannah?” he asks, moving on.
“I’m not really sure. I just always liked that name.”
“It suits her.”
It pleases me to know he approves. I always considered him in every decision I made.
“She was a really good baby,” I continue, answering his second question. “She slept a lot. Ate really well, except when we started baby food. She hated carrots.” Another smile claims my mouth as I remember the face she would make. “She used to spit them right back at me.”
“I don’t blame her. I’ve never liked carrots,” he tells me, “they’re fucking disgusting.”
I chuckle at the offered information. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to hear that, she’s always taken after you.” My words leave a heaviness in the room.
Pain takes over his face, striking my heart deeply.
I frame his jaw in the darkness of my room, doing my best to speak past the regret burning in my throat. “I’m sorry,” I choke out once again. “I know it doesn’t mean anything now but I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe that.”
His breathing turns heavy with whatever emotions he’s feeling. Instead of speaking again, he takes my mouth in a hard kiss, a punishing one. I can taste his anger, bitterness and pain on his tongue and it hurts my heart even more.
Before I know it, I’m on my back once more, his weight settling over me.
“Again,” he growls, his voice rough as he pauses at my entrance, waiting for permission.
“Yes,” the word leaves me on a breathless whisper.
He drives into me, filling more than my body. I gasp at the feel of him, my fingers gripping his back as I become lost in all the feelings he evokes in me.
He takes me in much the same manner as before, with a primal need that matches my own, his eyes holding mine through every thrust. Amongst the passion we always make is the pain of our past.
I pray one day we will overcome it. That one day, this man who still holds so much of my heart will eventually forgive me.
Not until I’m crying out with another orgasm does he allow himself his own pleasure. He finishes with a kiss on my mouth, a gentle kiss that reaches me on another level, instilling hope. Afterward, he wraps me in his protective arms once again, making me feel a safe I haven’t felt in a long time.
In the quiet dark, I’m left wondering where we go from here. “So what happens now?” I ask, unable to hold back, remembering I said something very similar to him years before.
“Now you sleep in my arms, where you belong.”
His words wrap around me like a warm peaceful blanket, bringing my conflicted heart some peace.
I have no idea what the future holds for us but I don’t bother thinking about it and just live in the moment for now. A moment I have dreamt about for the past six years.