CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ryanne
Familiar trees and brush pass by in a blur as we enter the outskirts of Winchester. I stare aimlessly out my window, dreading every second that passes.
Hannah jabbers cheerfully from the backseat as she has for the past several hours, excited she is finally going to Papa Thatcher’s to see his farm and meet her uncles. Her enthusiasm is the only reprieve my terrified heart has had.
Things had been going so perfectly the last few days that I should have known the other shoe was bound to drop. The dream I had of us being a family was firmly in my grasp. Watching Justice and Hannah together as they form that special father daughter bond healed my wounded heart in so many ways, it also helped that I got to spend every night in his arms afterward, feeling safe and cherished.
When we weren’t drowning in our desire for one another we would talk for hours, sharing the last six years and everything we missed. It reminded me of the beautiful memories of our past and it began washing away the ugly ones. Until we got that phone call it was easy to forget, but now it’s all I can think about and it has me fearing I will lose everything before I even have it.
If Thatcher wasn’t in trouble I would never return, but since he is, I can’t turn my back on him. Not after everything he has done for Hannah and me.
Justice reaches over the truck’s console, placing his warm hand on my bare knee, stilling it from its incessant bouncing.
I look down at his touch then up at him. “Sorry,” I whisper the apology. He’s worried enough about his father, the last thing I should be doing is adding to his stress.
“Everything is going to be okay,” he assures me once again. “You’ll see.”
I wish I felt as confident as him.
“It’s gonna be great,” Hannah adds, thankfully having no idea of my torment. “I can’t wait to meet my uncles. Hopefully they like me.”
“They’re gonna love you, baby,” Justice tells her before I can. “They already do.”
“Good, ’cause I love them, too.”
A soft smile dances across my lips. In my heart I know this is long overdue but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous for what kind of reception I will receive from both of them. I have no doubt they are furious with me on their brother’s behalf but it’s a consequence that’s unavoidable and one I will accept.
When we pull up to the farm I suck in a sharp breath at the damage that has been done. Half of the crop is nothing but blackened ash and the barn’s windows are smashed. A fresh coat of paint has been applied, and I shudder to think of what had to be covered up.
Thatcher sits in his rocking chair on the front porch as we drive up, playing his harmonica. My heart warms as I think about all the times he has played for Hannah. He’s always loved music, especially the blues.
“It’s the soul of music,” he always says.
“Papa Thatcher!” Hannah unlatches her seatbelt and jumps out of the truck before Justice barely has it turned off.
“Hey, hey! Look who it is, my sweet Hannah J.!” Thatcher’s arms are open and ready as she dashes into them.
Warmth booms in my chest as the two embrace. They have a special bond. Something I’m grateful for since Hannah will never have that with my parents. As far as I’m concerned, Thatcher is her only grandparent and I plan to keep it that way.
I look over at Justice, my smile fading when I see a battle of emotions dominating his face. I didn’t stop to think how this would affect him. He hasn’t spoken to Thatcher yet, and as much as he loves his father, I know he’s still hurting over the secret we both kept from him.
I reach for his hand, hoping to offer comfort but he doesn’t give me the chance. “Let’s go.” His words are clipped as he climbs out of the truck, leaving me no other choice but to follow.
The front door flies open and out walks Braxten. “Well, what do we have here?” He strides over to his father, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Dad, where did you find this small creature?”
Hannah giggles then bravely sticks out her hand. “The name is Hannah J. Creed and you’re my uncle Braxten.”
Laughter spills past my lips before I can stop it. Most little girls would be nervous and even intimidated but not my Hannah. She’s always been courageous. Just like her father.
I chance a look at Justice and find a small grin on his face, too.
“Your uncle?” Braxten takes her from Thatcher and lifts her over his head, making her laugh and squirm as he inspects her. “I guess I can see the resemblance, you do kinda look like my brother.”
She more than looks like Justice. The only thing Hannah inherited from me is my eye color. That’s as far as our similarities go.
“But you’re way prettier,” he adds, then places her back down on her feet and extends his hand, finally accepting her handshake. “Nice to meet you, Hannah J. Creed. Welcome to the toughest and coolest family in Mississippi.”
“Thanks, I’m excited to be here.”
Guilt infiltrates my chest, knowing full well I am to blame for it taking as long as it has.
“We’re all happy about that, kid.” Braxten turns to me, his thoughts clearly matching my own. However, any anger he has toward me is shoved aside as he walks over to greet me. “Ryanne, been a long time.”
I nod. “It has.”
“It’s good to see you.” He surprises me by leaning down to kiss my cheek, his lips lingering.
At least it feels that way.
I don’t have much time to ponder it before he moves for his brother. “Glad to have you back, man.”
While the two share a handshake, Thatcher walks over and pulls me into his loving arms. “It’s good to see you, child.”
“You too,” I whisper, his affection easing some of the worry in my heart. This man has been my saving grace, and whenever we spend time together, I always cherish it, even if it means being back in this godforsaken town.
He steps back, holding onto my shoulders and flashing me a reassuring smile before he shifts his attention over to Justice.
The easiness that was in Justice’s expression a moment ago is no longer there. This doesn’t deter Thatcher as he pulls his son in for a hug, too. “I missed you, boy.” The gruff sound of his voice has tears stinging my eyes.
Justice remains silent but he does return his father’s embrace, though it’s brief and far from warm.
The sound of the screen door banging open pierces the air and makes me jump. My eyes dart to the porch and there I find Knox. He looks every bit as intimidating as I remember in his well-worn, ripped jeans and white muscle tank that not only shows off his cut arms but also displays his colorful skin. The most alarming part though is his hard eyes and the way they are glaring at me right now.
The anger I was spared from Braxten is delivered with a vengeance by Knox, his hatred undeniable. It hurts more than I thought it would, which is surprising since I know Knox has never cared for me. Maybe this time is different because no matter what happens between Justice and me, Knox and Braxten will always be a part of my life because of Hannah.
His gaze eventually strays to Justice and the anger completely evaporates, leaving in its place an array of emotions, the most prominent one being relief. He walks toward his brother only to be intervened by Hannah, her smile oblivious to the tension.
She extends her hand, greeting him the same way she did Braxten. “Hi, Uncle Knox. I’m Hannah J. Creed and I’m your niece.”
Knox blinks down at her, as if he only noticed her just now. His head tilts ever so slightly, an almost look of wonderment splashed across his hard face. Eventually, he takes her outstretched hand but keeps the contact brief. “Hey, kid.”
“Boy, you sure have a lot more tattoos than my dad,” she says.
Knox shifts, clearly uncomfortable. “I guess.”
“That’s because he’s more badass than your dad and so am I,” Braxten says, ribbing Justice.
It earns him a shove before Justice moves for Knox, pulling him in for a hug. There’s a vulnerability in Knox as Justice murmurs things to him that no one else can hear.
A frown forms on my face as I notice the way Knox’s fingers fist the back of his shirt, almost gripping it out of fear.
“Why don’t we all head inside?” Thatcher suggests, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Dinner is almost ready.”
Justice eyes the two of us, the betrayal in his gaze undeniable. “I’m going to take our things to the guesthouse first,” he says coldly.
Thatcher nods but is clearly hurt by his son’s clipped response. “Just don’t be long. I don’t want the food to get cold.”
“Can I come, Daddy?” Hannah asks. “I wanna see where I’ll be sleeping.”
“Yeah, baby, come on.” Reaching down, he lifts Hannah into his arms and shoots me a parting look before walking away.
Both Braxten and Knox follow him, leaving Thatcher and me alone.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my guilt bubbling to the surface. “I thought he was getting over his anger.”
He brushes off the apology like always. “Don’t worry about it. My boy and I will talk later. Right now all I care about is having my whole family together for the first time. There is no greater gift than that.”
I wish I could give him that gift forever. If here were somewhere else I’d give it to him in a heartbeat, but this town will never be my home again. For the sake of my soul, it can’t be.