Chapter 20

Lilly

I was sitting on the front porch in the mid-autumn sunshine. Indian summer, they called it, for whatever reason. I knew it was bound to be one of the last nice days and wanted the fresh air. I’d begun to feel movements in my tummy, and the obstetrician assured me all was well after the little virus I’d entertained.

Bolt had been generous to come. A lesser man with his money would have sent a private nurse and gone along on his merry way. He’d come himself though, and that earned a lot of points with me. What a duality there was in that man. One side of him was kind, thoughtful, and loving, and the other turned cold, silent, and distant, just before and after he’d left me. Could having another woman do that? If there was someone else, how was she putting up with his long absences from her? Was she his mistress? His sexual plaything stashed in an expensive condo somewhere warm and tropical? I doubted the tropical part—he’d never come back with a tan, but then he was never gone long enough to acquire one, especially if he spent most of the time with that mistress in bed.

Why do I torture myself like this? I had gone to live with Bolt, and then left him, all of my own accord. He’d never stopped me, never used his power to do anything but help me with everything I needed. Other than the moody absences—the secrets I couldn’t know about—he’d never been anything other than the perfect mate. I ran my hand over my tummy and wondered what kind of a father he’d make. Certainly not someone like his own dad—he disliked everything that man said or did, and from even my small exposure to him, I could understand why.

I’d tried to learn more from Kenny, who, as usual, was silent on the issue and urged me to ask Bolt myself. Kenny made the ideal best friend, I had to say. I knew he was frustrated at the moment with my sister. As I’d thought, Natalie’s sobriety had lasted about as long as her Savannah vacation. She’d been only too glad to get me out of the old, but newly decorated, apartment. I was in her way, like a parent. She wanted to party, and she wanted the party to come to her. From the few times I’d talked to Kenny, I could tell he was in love with her. He had, however, picked up the reins of responsibility for her welfare, giving me the get-out-of-jail card I’d longed for. For that reason alone, he was at the top of my list of people I liked.

I was managing to grow my business a bit. Natalie had taken Bolt up on the offered job, although I had no idea how she made it through the days hungover. Her hand not reaching into my purse or till had helped me get on my feet, and I was putting a little aside each week for the baby’s needs. I had no idea how long I’d be off work.

So far, no one had caught on. It wasn’t unusual for me to wear a voluminous smock when I worked on clients, and it easily disguised the growing mound of my telltale tummy. I’d lost some weight between the morning sickness and the bout with the virus, so that helped as well.

Oddly enough, it was Butch who first noticed and brought it up. He’d been hanging around again, finding miniscule patches of blank skin or wanting outlines colored in. Anything to have a reason to come into the studio.

“When are you due?” he asked, and my surprise nearly caused me to drop my needle.

“How long have you known?” I asked worriedly.

He shrugged. “I thought you looked different last time I was here, but this time when you leaned against me to reach my chest, I could feel your, you know, bump. Who’s the father?” he asked in a sad voice, recognizing, I suppose, that he was out of chances to attract my attention.

“You don’t know him,” I said quickly.

“But you do, right?” Butch was so innocently impolite that I couldn’t get angry with him.

“I think so,” I responded, paying him back by leaving a little suspicion that I may have tarnished my reputation in his eyes.

“Well, I had my chance, I guess,” he muttered.

“Does this mean you won’t be needing any more tattoos?”

“Probably.”

“I’ll miss you, Butch. Stop by once in a while just for old times’ sake, will you?”

“Sure. Who knows, you might be needing a baby daddy,” he answered, his voice almost lighthearted at the prospect.

Internally, I rolled my eyes, but really I found his caring generosity priceless. “Butch, I need something from you,” I began.

He sat up a little. “Anything.”

“I need you not to tell anyone about this. Not even my sister. Most especially my sister. Can you promise me that?”

“Sure, Lilly. You know you can trust me.”

I thought back to the many times he’d been sent to chaperone Natalie. “I mean it this time, Butch. The baby’s future depends on it.”

His eyes grew huge, and his bulky chest swelled with heroism. “I swear.”

I believed him, or at least I told myself I did.