Chapter Thirteen

Belle

The weeks passed in bliss. I didn’t think that was possible. After Mom got sick, my life had been nothing but pain and fear. The last three weeks had been anything but that. By day, we explored the island, taking in the sights and sounds of the tropical nation. Then, at night, we would have dinner, either something fancy and delectable created by Mrs. Johnson or something with local flare from Leonard.

Later, we’d retire to the playroom, and I’d test my limits. Every night seemed to bring more pleasure than the last, to bathe my body with more ecstasy.

That wasn’t to say actual negotiations weren’t happening as well. Of course, they were. We were still only meeting each other part way with sixty-five cents on the dollar. It was a mental chess game when we went into business mode, and I had to respect that Drake McManus was able to outmaneuver me when it came to facts and figures. The dossiers had been right, and there was a reason he headed probably the most profitable media management company on the planet.

We felt matched, equal, and I couldn’t remember ever feeling that way with a man before.

Tonight, he promised he had a surprise planned, something he said he’d been working to arrange for a while that had taken longer than he’d hoped. I was just glad that as we approached our final week that he’d gotten it together at all. Not that I expected gifts… I didn’t… but I loved to see joy on his face. It was a feeling I think Drake denied himself far too often. Being able to see him happy moved me, and if his preparations had come to something he wanted to show off and was proud of, then I was more than excited.

Frankly, I just wanted to take every chance I had to spend with Drake. We’d be going back to Los Angeles in a little over a week, and I didn’t know what would come after that. Would we still continue our nightly sessions? Were we a couple? Could we be considered that now? I know what we whispered to each other at night, but so far, I’d been the only one to admit I cared about him, but that was as far as I could figure out my own emotions. I knew he cared about me from his actions—the way he’d protected me, the way he shepherded me through the steps in our BDSM relationship and ensured I had the best aftercare, the tenderness he showed me on our excursions. But was that enough?

I wasn’t sure when I left the cocoon of the island that what I wanted was to be just his favored sub. No, I was beginning to realize I wanted far more than that, but there were few playboys in the Western world more infamous than Drake McManus. Was I setting myself up for disappointment? When he had other women available, would he just throw me aside?

Hell, to be crude about it, was I really just another notch on his bedpost as he got the deal he wanted?

It was this mishmash of thoughts that swirled through my head as Mrs. Johnson came in to help me pick out my outfit for the special date Drake had planned for tonight. He was as eager as a puppy to show me whatever he’d been planning, and it was cute. Everything about him was.

Mrs. Johnson eyed me speculatively as she pulled out a blue silk shift. “You seem distracted, dear. Is everything all right?”

I frowned back at her. Mrs. Johnson had become a surrogate mother on the island. While I Skyped with my family daily, even as Carol seemed to grow more bitter and resentful, Mrs. Johnson had also become quite the confidante. I’d told her everything about me and my family, about how sick Mom was and how we worried more and more even as this new treatment was hopefully supposed to really make a difference with the right timing and exposure.

She was probably worried I’d gotten bad news. I was melancholy enough today.

I shook my head and patted her hand. “I just talked to Mom this morning. She’s doing well. She’s keeping food down, looks like she already gained some weight on the new meds. I haven’t been this relieved for her in a long time.”

Mrs. Johnson nodded but then sat on the bed. “Then why do you look like your dog just died, dear? Something is bothering you. Is there anything I can do to help?”

I sighed and leaned against the wardrobe. “To be honest, I don’t know. It’s about Drake.”

Mrs. Johnson gave a knowing smile. “Isn’t it always? I swear I’ve worked for him for well over a decade and I’ve never seen him light up for any woman the way he lights up for you. He cares about you so very much, and that’s a miracle.”

Picking at my cuticles, I tried to keep the smile on my face. “I really hope so, but how do I know? He’s never said out loud that he cares about me or really likes me. I know after three weeks it’d be crazy to expect the big ‘L’ word. I don’t even know if I feel that yet.”

Although I was beginning to suspect I did love him, that it was more than just passion simmering between us.

“Drake keeps so much to himself. He’s used to bottling everything about his feelings up.”

“But I don’t know where any of this goes after this and…” I stopped, finally daring to say out loud what I hadn’t even admitted to myself. “I like him. I really like him. I want us to be more when we go home, and I’m terrified that he might not feel the same way.”

Mrs. Johnson smiled a knowing smile and passed me a light silk dress in a coral pink. “This will look best with your coloring, dear. Also, I think you more than ‘like’ him, don’t you?”

“I…”

“Your secret is safe with me,” she said, winking back at me.

“I love him, Penelope,” I said, using her first name. “I think I really do. I keep telling myself it’s just caring or being grateful he saved my life or that we have fun together, but I think I love him. Oh, God, what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” I started to pace, moving back and forth across the expanse of my bedroom. “God, what if he can never feel this way about me and it’s all just for fun?”

Mrs. Johnson stood up and then hurried across the room to hug me, holding me tight and stroking my back as I tried not to hyperventilate. “Shh, it’s all right. I think that you’ll be surprised. I know Drake, and he’s never been like this with anyone.”

“But that doesn’t make it love,” I said, my voice wavering as I pulled away from her. “It could just mean he’s having a fun time, and I’m having so much more than that. If he’s not on the same wavelength with me, if he doesn’t love me back someday, I think it’ll crush me.”

“My mother used to say that ‘the evil of the day is sufficient thereof’ and not to borrow trouble. I think you go through with tonight and see what happens. I believe that Drake will surprise you.”

I nodded and swallowed hard. I didn’t want to wipe at my eyes because I didn’t want to acknowledge that I’d been tearing up. The thought of anything changing my new normal—short as our time together had been—was almost too much to bear.

Mrs. Johnson smiled again and stroked my shoulder. “Get yourself dressed, hon, and go out there for the surprise. I think you need to have faith. I do.”

That made one of us.

***

We rode out to the far corner of the island in his Porsche, a red speedster that zoomed up the coast with the top down. The wind whipped past me as the scent of the salty sea invaded my nostrils. The stars twinkled above us, bright and pure in a way that you’d never see in L.A., and I curled into the arm he wrapped around me. Strength coiled through his muscles even then, and I could feel the power of the soldier he’d been always just coiled underneath the surface.

When he pulled up at a small, squat warehouse, I frowned. This wasn’t exactly what I imagined.

“Wait, is this when you murder me and dispose of the body?”

He laughed. “So, you’ve figured out my secret plan, Ms. Fontaine.”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes but didn’t move from his arm. “I’m serious. This isn’t exactly what I was expecting, not that it’s not great to drive out here, but this either looks like a warehouse of doom or a top-secret lab.”

He turned off the ignition and pulled away from me. Then he sauntered with slow, easy movements to my side of the car and opened the door for me. “Well, you do have the lab part right. It’s not exactly top secret.”

“What?”

He crooked his elbow for me, and I caught sight of that delicious sleeve of tattoos that ran up his arm. My eyes were drawn to the anchor with the “Semper Fi” wrapped around it. “I told you I was setting up a surprise. Welcome to the Belle Fontaine Wildlife Rehabilitation Center. Any injured animals or recaptured illegal pets come here for care and training to be safely released back into the wild.”

“You set this up in three weeks?” I asked, my voice filled with awe.

“A little less than that. I was hoping I could get it done in a week, but it just wasn’t possible. Sorry, it’s late.”

I hopped up into his arms and squealed when he spun me around. “You’re serious? All these animals are getting saved because of me?”

“You told me that the environment and going green was your passion before you ended up trying to save the family business. That was true, right? Or else there are going to be a ton of disappointed fish in there.”

I giggled and kissed his cheek. “You did all this because of me?”

He set me down and stroked my cheek. “I did it because I had to say I was sorry. I don’t care if I have PTSD. I don’t care how things can affect me. I still scared you and then I stormed off on you.”

“You saved me from those jerks!”

“You were right that night. You never would have run if I hadn’t been an asshole. This can’t possibly make it all better, but I want you to know I’m truly sorry, and I’m glad you put up with me.”

I stared into those chocolate brown eyes that were still so wounded, that seemed eternally shadowed with deep secrets and regrets. “I don’t ‘put up’ with anything. I care about you, and I mean it. I just… no one’s ever done anything like this for me. I’m always taking care of everyone else.”

“Then you deserve to be taken care of, too,” he said, wrapping an arm around me and leading me to the doors of the center.

When we first passed through, I was so surprised by the bright splashes of colors of all the coral, the clown fish, even the glowing jellyfish all swimming in their respective tanks. As we walked deeper, we came to an enclosure with seals being fed by a few techs in khakis and polo shirts.

A woman with a high blond ponytail came over to us and beamed up at Drake. “Mr. McManus. We’re so glad you could make it. You’ll be happy to see that Leo and Theo are doing so much better. I think Theo’s left flipper is really on the mend.”

I grinned at her, too; the woman’s enthusiasm was infectious. “Theo and Leo?”

“We try and do naming themes for the animals. It helps keep them straight in the keepers’ minds. You must be Ms. Fontaine. It’s an honor to meet you,” she said, taking my hand and shaking it feverishly.

I was overwhelmed by all this. I’d put so many of my own desires aside when Dad’s company crashed and Mom got sick. I knew that helping my family mattered, but there wasn’t anything world-saving about helping starlets with bad reputations clean up their Twitter feeds or put out the right press release. But I’d never been able to really help the world the way I wanted, and at least now some injured animals would have a new lease on life because I’d inspired Drake.

Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes and I sniffled. “This is amazing.”

“Are you okay?” the blonde asked, a frown marring her features. “Really, their flippers are looking pretty good. It won’t be long before they’re released back to a better location. We rescued them from some celebrity who had some exotic pets he shouldn’t have.”

“No, I just… all these animals are safe because of me.”

Drake nodded. “What can I say? You’re definitely a great beauty who inspires me, but this isn’t the end of the surprise.”

“What? You bought me my own pet whale?” I joked.

“Not exactly, but you will need a wetsuit.”

***

My hand slid over the sleek, rubbery skin of the dolphin before me. He giggled—or did the closest equivalent—and threw his head out of the water. Then he chittered and dove back in. Not too far over Drake’s shoulder, another dolphin was leaping out from the water, spritzing droplets everywhere. A few yards down, a keeper was helping feed a mother and her two tiny babies, well, by porpoise standards, certainly not even a hundred pounds each yet for the calves.

This was probably the best night of my life.

All these beautiful animals, and all of them going onto a better life because Drake cared about what I did.

I reached out and slid my hand over the dolphin’s snout again when he came up to me.

Drake chuckled. “So, do I have to worry about competition?”

The dolphin blew a stream of water through his blowhole, and I laughed when it splashed Drake in the face.

“I don’t know. I think you might have someone who’s a little jealous,” I said, winking at Drake. When my new “boyfriend” was gone and had dived back into the water, I paddled over to Drake and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “I think I like my men with two legs, so I definitely assume you’re safe.”

He kissed me, his tongue promising more tonight. “Well, sometimes I’ve been called a tripod.”

I snorted, thinking of how well-endowed he was. He could almost get away with the nickname, no doubt. “Sorry I asked.”

I hesitated there before kissing him back. I wanted to talk to him seriously, to ask where this was all headed when this paradise ended and we returned home, but I was still so scared of the answer. For now, I had to trust in Mrs. Johnson’s words and, frankly, I didn’t think he’d created such a wonderful place for a fling. There was no point. Tonight, I wanted to enjoy the gift he’d given me, to be able to swim as free and unfettered as the dolphins around me.

Tomorrow, I’d let the worry come back and fight against that damn calendar. It was all I could do.