Chapter 11

Harper

I felt like Cinderella. That was the only way I could think to describe it. It felt unreal, but in a good way. Then, as is typical with me, I began to poke holes in it. I couldn’t let it be perfect—I didn’t deserve perfect. I’d always wanted a fly in the ointment so I could own it. I needed to own imperfection.

You’re being a fool, I told myself and instantly felt ungrateful. Here was this lovely child, who looked so much like my precious Brayden but had green eyes. What were the odds? She could have been our child, to look at her.

Brayden was different, and I recognized immediately why. Growing up and yes, even at Utopia, he was Brayden, the boy/man who was destined to be a screw-up and failure. He’d been on the defensive and in the same way I was hedging myself against disappointment by trying to poke holes in reality, he was doing the same thing. While at work, he couldn’t let himself get too full of himself. He had to stay on his toes, be vigilant and trust no one—not even me, when it came down to it. Here at his home, he was sure of himself and it was his personal paradise. I was very glad he’d decided to include me in it. Now came the question of whether I could keep from ruining it for him.

I knew what he wanted. He wanted me. I wanted him, too. I just wasn’t quite ready to let him know that.

We had perfectly grilled steak with new potatoes and a garden salad for dinner. Dessert was strawberry shortcake. I noticed Meghan grew quiet as she feasted on the real whipped cream and powdered sugar confection. She was a sweets eater, just like me. I’d have to be careful. With a chef cooking, I could balloon up like a puffer fish.

“I’ve never worked with a personal shopper,” I brought up, feeling a little insecure. “They’re used to working with rich people who don’t look at price tags.”

Brayden laughed aloud. “You don’t have to worry. Where she will take you, there are no price tags. It’s a painless pleasure and Megs here will be happy to show you the ropes. Won’t you, Megs?”

She nodded, her nose tipped with powdered sugar. “I love to shop for clothes,” she said quickly and got back to her dessert.

“You gals will have a blast. I’ll have Captain Bob run me over, and he’ll come back and be at your disposal. Or, you can ride with me and then take your car.”

“Ohhh, I’d like that,” I burst out. “I’d love to see what it looks like. It’s been a long time since I had a car.”

“It’s baby blue,” Meghan supplied and then looked guiltily at Brayden. “Sorry,” she muttered. “I wasn’t supposed to say, was I?”

“I’m sure Harper will forgive you. She’s good at forgiving,” he said, and I knew what he meant by that.

We had coffee by the pool and were treated to the most breathtaking crimson sunset. “That’s where it got its name,” Brayden told me, and I knew he was referring the island name as well as that of the house.

“Meghan, about that time, honey,” he said.

She nodded and came over to give me a hug. “I’m happy you’re here now. Goodnight.” She turned to go into the house and called over her shoulder, “And yes, I’ll brush my teeth.”

Brayden looked peaceful and content. He brought about that same feeling for me. “This is truly paradise,” I commented.

“I’m glad you think so. I will agree, now that you’re here.”

He was growing sentimental in his old age.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. More than welcomed, in fact. Actually, you’re doing me a bigger favor than I could ever hope to return.”

“That cottage and office is a dream come true. How did you know?”

“Well, besides the very techy ten-year-old who is at this moment hopefully brushing her teeth, you aren’t a total enigma, you know. You’re a computer nerd, right?”

I threw a cushion at him and he laughed. “Well, aren’t you?” he repeated.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “I guess you could call me that. Do you think I’m silly for building a website?”

He was thoughtful. “No, not really. It’s what you do and the more experience you have at it, the better and in demand you will become. I’d love to have you do some projects for Utopia, too. I was thinking of automating more of the internal processes. I’d like the employees to be better in synch, without me having to run them down and keep an eye on them. Is that something you could help me with at some point?”

“Are you kidding? Of course! I’d love to,” I told him.

“And you never know… there are a lot of business people who stay at Utopia. You might make some excellent contacts. Just promise to work remote and not leave me.” His words were level but I could feel the plea behind them.

“I won’t,” I said softly and with those hushed words, the sun dropped below the horizon suddenly and there was nothing more than a few golden, latent rays pouring over the waves.

“Question?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“Why don’t you want Collin to know about Meghan or Red Sapphire?”

“I’m sort of surprised you need to ask. You know what he’s like. Vindictive, selfish and jealous. Oh, he puts on a good face but he’d very much like to strip me of everything I’ve worked for. He thinks it’s his entitlement as older brother. It wouldn’t have been like that with Cory. He was one of the most generous men I’d ever known. But Collin, he’s so different. It’s like he had different parents. No, Collin will not be coming here.”

“What if he finds out? I mean, don’t people wonder where you go when you leave Utopia via boat?”

“Did you wonder?”

I thought about it a moment. “No, not really. For one thing, I never saw you leave by boat and if I had, I think I’d just have assumed you were going to another Key or to the mainland somewhere.”

“There you go. Collin thinks I live at Utopia. If he sees me leave, he assumes the same as you do – that I’m off on business or a date. He won’t think twice about it.”

We were silent then, relaxing side by side on a double-wide lounge chair. I put my hand onto his and he took it. He squeezed it and sighed deeply. I knew he wanted more. The heat of his hand over mine was making me feel safe, and sleepy. Had our lounge chair been in a bedroom, I’m not sure I could have held out. The biggest gift he gave me that evening was to hold himself back. I could see his need, within inches of my hand. I wanted to slide my hand inside his waistband and reach downward until I could fasten my hand around its steely hardness. I wondered what it would feel like inside of me. Could he make me vaginally orgasm? I’d never gotten there with Steve. Well, that wasn’t fair because Steve hadn’t achieved anything to speak of. He’d been mechanical and analytical, considering sex to be something akin to brushing your teeth. A preliminary to get out of the way before you got down to the really good stuff, which I had no idea what that would have been for him.

I had the impression that it wouldn’t be that way with Bray. There was no way a man could be armed with the weapon I could see outlined against the moon and not know how to use it. Would he expect more of me? I started to freak a little as I considered this. Was he used to women who knew their way around a man’s body? Who knew when and where to touch? Would he teach me what he liked?

Suddenly filled with insecurity, I felt awkward, especially when I could still see his erection so near my hand. I remembered back to that time, so many years before, when we’d been on the beach at night. He’d been hard and erect then. I remembered my fascination then and how I’d snaked a finger up the inside of his bathing suit leg and touched it. I could still hear his gasp as he lost control and exploded, right into his trunks. He’d begged me to rub it, to give him a prolonged pleasure. I’d been so shocked all I could do was jerk my hand back and stand up, staring at him. He’d gotten a little mad at me that night, even if he’d lied and said he wasn’t. He’d run into the surf to rinse himself and I’d stood helplessly at the shoreline, watching him. I remember seeing his profile against the low moon that night. His erection, still evident, had quickly flattened out as the cold water got to him. He’d whooped and hollered, splashing in the waves. He wanted me to come in with him, but I’d stood there and shook my head. “No, I’m scared,” I’d told him.

I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

I rolled away from him onto my hip, my face flushed. I could feel the heat. “Was just remembering something.”

He rolled to spoon me, his arm over me and pulling me back against him. “Oh? Something with me in it?” he asked against my ear.

I nodded.

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You might not think it as funny as I did.”

“Take a chance.”

“Maybe another time.” I shook my head.

He sighed with exasperation. “It’s getting late, and I have an early meeting. Let me walk you home?”

I nodded and rolled to my feet. Bray held his hand out to me, and I put mine into his as we strolled back to the guest cottage.

“Can we not call it the guest cottage anymore?” I asked.

“Sure, but why?”

I hesitated but finally got my courage up and said, “Because I don’t want to just be a guest.”

He stopped and turned me toward him, lifting my chin to kiss me. I could feel his erection against my tummy and again, I got the crazy urge to fold to my knees, pull him out of his pants and fasten my mouth over him. As if he knew what I was thinking, he pushed his groin into me and reached down with his free hand to gently rub me. “Agh!” he released his breath in frustration. “God, but I want you so bad.”

I said nothing.

“Do you feel it, too?”

I still said nothing.

“You do, don’t you? I know you do. “

I held very still, afraid to move or speak.

“Oh, honey, just let me touch you, please?”

I held frozen.

“Honey, don’t move, just stand there and I want to touch you. I won’t ask any more than that, I swear. Just let me give you this one final gift?”

I was motionless and he took my silence for approval. I didn’t argue.

He slowly dropped to his knees and lifted the cotton skirt I’d put on that morning. I closed my eyes as his hands touched my inner thighs, pushing my legs apart. We were standing on the walkway, framed against the low moon. Palm fronds blocked the view from the house so I knew we were completely alone—at the edge of the world.

His hands slid upward and fastened into the waistband of my panties, easing them downward. My skirt was lying over his head, tenting his face against my now naked pussy.

“Sweet Jesus!” he moaned in a low sound.

I was hyperaware of him, of his hands touching me. His finger pressed into the crescent of my now-moist pussy, pushing upward into me. The next sensation was of his tongue, licking my swollen nub and then drawing it in between his lips to suck on it gently. The slow, even rhythm stole the strength from my knees, and I collapsed onto the lawn next to the walkway.

I heard the sound from Bray that told me that was exactly where he wanted me. He pushed my skirt up over me now and pushed my knees further apart. I could still see his head as he lowered his mouth and fastened it upon me. He began a slow sucking rhythm, slowly and excruciatingly increasing the intensity and speed. My hips rocked forward and backward on their own. I’d left my conscious mind and my body was drawn to his face, seeking that hot elixir of womanly waters that spilled from my brain into my pussy. I felt it rising and he sensed it. Just as I was about to crest, he pulled his face back and inserted one finger inside me and used the other to rub my clit furiously. I know I called out his name as it hit me; it shot through me over and over and over. When the spasms had subsided, he rolled to the side of me and pulled me atop him, wrapping his arms around me and holding me flatly against him. I lay there in a stupor of ultimate completion.

When my head cleared somewhat, I felt guilty. I reached to touch him, to return it but he whispered, “No! Not here and not now. When you’re ready, you’ll let me know. This was for you. A gift to tell you how happy I am that you’re here and how much I want to make your life unbelievably wonderful.”

My heart melted at his words. “You have,” I whispered.

We lay there, my heart still racing as he stroked my back. Then he rolled to his knees and stood up. He bent and picked me up, carrying me like a child into the cottage. He strode straight into the master bedroom, pulled back the spread with one hand and lowered me onto the mattress. Bending, he kissed me tenderly and without another sound, left.

I lay there in a stupor. The only sound was the whop, whop of the overhead ceiling fan and the call of the waves, luring me into their blue arms. I rolled over and went to sleep.