Chapter 6

Lilly

I texted Bolt that first day after we’d been together. On my end, it said the message had been delivered, but he never answered. I debated trying to call him, but my pride wouldn’t let me. He had my number now, and if he wanted to contact me, he could. I knew he was out of town on business but wondered how he could be so busy that he couldn’t tap out a single text.

Look at me, the jealous girlfriend. I’m not even his girlfriend, am I? I continued to drive the car as each day I came up with a new excuse. Natalie eyed it with envy, as I knew she would. When I came home after work that first day, I walked in to find her wearing the yellow slicker.

“Take that off!” I told her.

“Why? I’m not hurting anything.”

“It’s just not yours. It’s mine.” We had always been jealous sisters, but she had crossed the line. It was a gift, to me, and seeing her wear it, especially after the night she’d had, made it feel dirty.

“Where did you get it?”

I didn’t want to tell her. If things didn’t pan out between me and Bolt, I didn’t want to hear about it. I told her I’d bought it, which led to a whole big argument about my having money for new clothes but not enough money for food. Of course, that led to the next argument about her spending and stealing money from me, and that’s why we didn’t have any food. By the time we were done arguing, we weren’t speaking. A part of me knew that I’d escalated things, just so I wouldn’t have to explain where the car came from.

As soon as it got dark, I went out and moved the car down the street, parking it next to the local police precinct. I caught an officer as he was coming out and asked if they could keep an eye on it, telling him it was a loaner from a friend who was out of town, and I didn’t have anywhere to park it safely. He told me it was fine, to go ahead and leave it there. So each day, I pretended to walk to work, but instead I went down the street and climbed behind the wheel of the Audi. It wasn’t lying. Well, not really. The car needed to be driven, there was no doubt about that. One day, Natalie showed up at the studio and I told her that I’d had a wealthy client in earlier who must’ve gone to lunch somewhere in the block and left the car behind. She wasn’t overly interested so I didn’t go into any more detail. After that, I parked it clear to the edge of the lot so it looked like it’d been left behind.

Through all that subterfuge, I waited for a text or a phone call. It never came. With each day that passed, I grew more and more depressed. That was not a huge reach for me, as our lack of good fortune kept me in a constant state of depression. I also knew the day was coming that Bolt would come home, I would hear the story about how we had a good time but we just weren’t right for each other, and I would hand back the keys to the car. I compared it to going to Disney World with a free day’s pass only to find out they were closed. I knew I was being silly and selfish, but your dreams have to be made from something.

I think what hurt me the most was that I felt he’d used me. I had a lot of pride, if not possessions, and one of the things of which I was most proud was my own sense of ethics. I didn’t sleep around, and the fact that I had offered myself to him so readily that day left me feeling pitiful.

I knew I had to do something about the business. My chair was only full a third of the time. If I could fill forty hours, it would tremendously help our situation. I took a small ad in the local throwaway paper advertising a sale: two tattoos for the price of one. It brought in a little traffic, but I still had plenty of time.

I had room to stock merchandise, maybe some T-shirts and hats, belt buckles, that sort of thing, but I just didn’t have the capital to invest in it. That’s when I came up with an idea. I got up early on a Sunday morning and went in to the studio, a measuring tape in my hand. I marked off squares with masking tape on the floor, each square a little larger than a card table. Then I made a sign, hand-lettered, and put it in the front window. “Crafter’s Booth Space Available,” it read. That seem to draw some attention, and when people came in, I told them it would run them fifty dollars every two weeks to rent the space. I would be on hand to handle the register, and all they had to do was stock their own booth. This turned out to be more popular than I could’ve believed. All my space was rented out within three days. I had enough money to buy some decent groceries then. The really nice thing about it was that people came in to look at the crafts and ended up scheduling a tattoo. I learned some business lessons in that.

I was also sitting on a fine arts degree, something I hadn’t utilized to its potential. I got on the computer, found a few freelancing sites, and put in some bids. I had to begin really low, but the competition was all over the world, and people in some places work for almost nothing. But since I had to be in the studio all day anyway, I just sat at the computer and did the freelance work. This helped enough that we had a good month after all. I didn’t let Natalie know about the freelancing, but there was no way I could hide the booth rental. She came asking for handouts more than once, and I turned her away. “Go out and find a job, silly. This isn’t free money. It has to pay for our rent and groceries. You know that.”

“You’re just being stingy.”

I bit my tongue to keep from lashing out at her. If it hadn’t been for my sister, I could probably have a nice little apartment somewhere with some decent clothes and a car I could depend on. I wondered what had happened to my car. Bolt had made it go away when the Audi appeared. I’d have to settle that with him when I saw him. If that ever happened.

I was deep into one of my freelance jobs when the little bell on the door tinkled. “Help yourself to look around,” I called out, without looking up.

“I like what I’m looking at now,” a deep voice said. I spun around in my chair, and there he stood, looking like a million dollars. He looked around himself. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”

“Bolt!” I sort of blurted out his name because I was surprised. I expected to hear from him by text or phone long before he’d come in face-to-face. At that point I remembered I was supposed to be mad at him for not contacting me, but it just wasn’t in my heart. “Did you just get back?”

He nodded. “It took longer than I thought it would. How are you?” He came toward me, pulling me to stand by my shoulders and bending to kiss me. It was a long, deep kiss, and his arms folded around me. “God, I missed you.”

“Really?” I knew that was a snotty thing to say but I couldn’t help myself. “Is everything OK?”

He had an odd look on his face but recovered immediately. “Everything is just fine.”

There was something so mysterious about him. I didn’t know if it was the way he was brought up. Or could he be hiding something? Did he have a wife stashed somewhere out there? I tried not to think about that.

“You and I have to talk,” I started out.

“Well, crap. That sounds like the beginning of a breakup speech.” He pulled up a stool as I sat back down at the computer. He took my hands in each of his and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Go ahead. Let me have it.”

I was surprised. “You mean we have something between us that it’s possible to break up from? I mean, I’m not wording it well, but I haven’t heard from you in so long.”

He nodded. “I didn’t tell you much about what I do for a living, Lilly. Among other small ventures, I own an import-export business. It requires me to travel overseas from time to time, and sometimes I have very little notice. Not everywhere I go has phone service, and even though it might be available, I may be in so many meetings and the time difference makes it impractical to bother anyone here in the states. This last trip was kind of a mixture of both. I know I should’ve called or sent you a message, but I will be honest with you. What happened between us that night took me by surprise. I wasn’t looking for a relationship.”

I nodded. “I knew that.” My heart was sinking. There was a breakup speech coming, but it was going to come from his end. I got up from my seat and opened the drawer where I kept my purse. I pulled out the keys to the Audi and handed them to him. “I took good care of it, honest I did. It’s parked out back, and there’s not a scratch on it. Thank you for letting me drive it. I guess I need to ask you where my car is. I sort of need to get it fixed and back on the road.”

He was laughing, his head shaking. He held out his hand, palm toward me and said, “No, Lilly, you don’t understand. That car is yours. It’s paid for, it’s insured in your name. It’s just something I wanted to do.”

“I was afraid of that. Well, I can’t accept that. It makes me feel like I sold myself to you!”

“Women! I’m not sure how we got here, but it sounds like you’re having some insecurity issues. I did not come here to break up with you, Lilly. Quite the opposite. I took advantage of the time away to give some thought to what I wanted from life, and to you, in particular. You’re the only woman I’ve met for whom I would be willing to entertain the idea of a steady relationship. Please don’t ask me exactly what that means. I’m not into all the dating lingo, but it means that you would be the only one. Naturally, I will expect the same from you, but maybe you’re too pissed off at me right now to even consider that, and for all I know, maybe you don’t like me.”

“But I do!” I said it so quickly he grinned at me.

“OK, then I guess we got that question answered. So, what I was hoping, is that you might be willing to come out to my farm and have dinner on Saturday night. I know you have the studio open until five o’clock, but I thought you could head out after that. What do you say?”

I plopped into the chair by the computer and left the keys next to the mouse. “Oh my god. I thought you were going to break up with me. I mean, I could understand that we sort of rushed into things and you don’t really know me and I really don’t know you, not at all. But, I do know that I missed you as soon as you left, and I’ve done nothing but think about you since. Is that too weird? Is it too early to feel the chemistry?”

“I don’t believe in timetables when it comes to that kind of thing. I pretty much thought of you all the time too, even if I didn’t call to let you know. I needed some space to think things over. I hope you can understand that.”

“Totally. If there was anything I’d sell my soul for right now, it would be some space, believe me.”

“Is it Natalie?”

“Yeah.” I shook my head and sighed. “She’s not your problem, though. I don’t know what’s going to happen to her. There’s only so much I can do, short of sticking her in my back pocket. She’s hell-bent on self-destruction, and I live in fear of the day that I won’t be there with the net to catch her.” My voice broke, and I was surprised when tears began to run down my cheeks.

“Come here,” he said, drawing me closer until I was sitting on his lap. His arms went around me, and his hand pushed my cheek down on his shoulder. “There may be times when I’m not close by, but you have my number, and I swear, if you call me, I will answer. I don’t want anything to happen to you, or to your sister for that matter. Anytime you need me, and I mean that, anytime, you just pick up the phone. Hopefully, we’ll be together enough that you won’t have to use the phone to reach out for me.”

“Are you sure? I can be an awful lot of trouble.” I felt like he was due a fair warning.

“I think I can handle it,” he chuckled and used his thumb to wipe the tears off my cheek. I took a deep breath and did one of those little stutter noises you do when you’ve had a good cry. I felt so much better. It wasn’t that I wanted anything from him. It was that he cared enough to offer. I couldn’t imagine how he was still single, and quite frankly, I didn’t want to know. I would only ruin a good thing before I knew it.

“OK, yes, I’d like to come. I have no idea where your farm is. Could you write down the address for me?”

“Better than that. I’ve got a duplicate to your car, just in case you decided to throw it back in my face, by the way, and when I leave, I will go out and program my address into the navigation system. So, Saturday night, when you’re ready to leave, you just touch my name in the contact list, and she’ll talk you through it.”

“You know, I don’t even know how to use it. I’ve been afraid to touch anything, for fear that I would break it and have to pay you back for it.”

This must’ve been very funny because he laughed loud enough I didn’t hear my phone ringing until he stopped. I caught it just at the end of the last ring. It was Natalie. “Lilly, I’m at Dorothy’s Beauty Salon, and when I tried to use the debit card, it wouldn’t go through.”

“Which debit card?”

“How many do we have?”

“One, and it’s mine. Did you take it out of my purse?”

“Well, of course. That’s where you keep it.”

I held the phone at arm’s length until I could calm down. I had just paid the bills, and there were only a couple dollars left in the bank account. Now what was I going to do? “Well, I suggest you figure out a way to pay her, because this little piggy bank is closed.” I disconnected the call and sat there, aghast at what I had just said.

“Good for you,” Bolt said quietly. “I’m sure you understand the concept of enabling, and from what I can see, she’s been taking advantage of you for quite a while now. Does she have any skills?”

“Who knows? She won’t try. She’s actually very smart, got good grades in school. There’s lots of things she could do, if she could pull herself together long enough to go to work every day.”

Bolt didn’t answer, but I could see he was thoughtful. He slapped his palms on his thighs and stood up. “Look, I hate to leave, but I have some things to do. I came here straight from the airport.”

“You did?” The thought pleased me immensely. “Awww.”

“Do you think if I leave, you can not cry for at least the rest of today?”

“I’ll try. And how can I thank you for the car?”

“By not thanking me anymore.” He came toward me and kissed me firmly, pinching my butt as he backed away. “I will call you tonight. Like I said, I’ve got things I have to take care of, so I’ll see you on Saturday night?”

“For sure.”

He left out the back door, and I stood and watched out the window as he opened the Audi and climbed in long enough to program his address, as promised. He must’ve known I was watching because he waved when he was done and then he disappeared around the side of the building. I felt like the little girl whose parents had just left and she was already homesick. At least I knew he was coming back, or at least I was going to him.