CHAPTER 10

 

“So…” Liv eased her baby daughter, Sofia out of the sling and settled her down in the travel cot. “You still haven’t told me what dance you’re doing this week?”

Liv and Sofia were spending the night at Cate’s house since both of their husbands were away. Kian was in L.A.; Seattle F.C. were playing L.A. Galaxy tomorrow night while Liv’s husband, Jax was in New York to appear on one of the late-night talk shows to promote his new album.

“Ow,” Cate rubbed her back. She checked her watch but she’d taken the maximum number of painkillers about half an hour ago so it was too soon to take anymore.

“Are you sure you’re OK?” Liv asked as they tiptoed out of the darkened nursery.

“I think I’ve pulled a muscle,” Cate winced. “We’re dancing the Viennese Waltz this week.”

Liv giggled.

“What?” Cate asked.

“I’m sorry,” Liv covered her mouth with her hands. “I just can’t believe that my shy little sister danced the Cha Cha in front of millions of people on Saturday night. I can still remember how mortified you were when I accidentally walked in on you shaking your hips to Shakira when we were teenagers.”

“Ugh,” Cate shuddered, “don’t remind me.”

“Seriously,” Liv slung an arm around her sister’s shoulders, “I think it’s brilliant that you’re trying new things. It’s what life is all about.”

“Embarrassing myself and my family on national TV?”

“You didn’t embarrass anybody.”

Cate rolled her eyes, “at least it’s helping 33 Rocks.”

“Don’t do that,” Liv put her hands on her hips. “Don’t be a martyr about this, Cate.”

Cate turned around too quickly, feeling the ache in her back intensify. “I’m not.”

“On Saturday night, when you walked out on to that dancefloor in that skimpy little Kylie dress, you looked sexy as hell.”

Liv put her hands on her sister’s shoulders, “being on Stepping Out doesn’t have to be something you just endure for the sake of your charity. If you fully embrace it, it could be one of the best experiences of your life. When was the last time you got all glammed up?”

Cate laughed, “I’m a mum of three, what do you think?”

After Cate had filled a hot water bottle for her aching back, she and Liv went and sat on the swing on the porch at the back of the house, looking out over Puget Sound.

“What are you afraid of?” Liv asked softly.

Cate was quiet for a moment. “I guess I’m scared that they won’t like me. It isn’t just about the dancing; it’s a personality contest as well. I shouldn’t even be on the show, Liv; I’m not a celebrity. What happens if I give it everything I’ve got and then I get voted off on Saturday night anyway? It would be such a personal rejection. At least, if I say to myself that I’m only doing this for the charity then when I get voted off, I can think about all the money we’ve raised instead.”

“Nobody forced the producers to cast you, Cate. There are a thousand reasons why you should be on Stepping Out. When you’re not being such a Serious Sarah, you’re actually a lot of fun.” Cate’s lips twitched with a smile. “Look at you, you’re bloody gorgeous. You’re not a vapid celebrity who’s only famous because she made a sex tape. You’re a real woman who went through something horrible and is working her arse off trying to help other women who are going through the same thing.”

“Do you think Jax would mind if I stole you for however long I’m on Stepping Out?”

“I think he might,” Liv giggled. “Seriously though, if you need another pep talk or a kick up the arse, I’m only at the other end of the phone.”

“I might just take you up on that,” Cate could already feel her perspective shifting. “I wonder if Ruby’s looking forward to her weekend away with Nico?”

“I bet she is,” Liv wiggled her eyebrows, “with her laptop out of action, she must be horny as freaking hell.”

“Ew,” Cate covered her eyes, “that’s our sister you’re talking about.”

Liv chuckled, enjoying her sister’s discomfort. “Do I have to remind you of the time Jax and I caught you and Kian joining the mile high club?”

“No, you really don’t.”

“That Emily gives me the creeps though,” Liv shuddered. “I wouldn’t let her poke around in my computer, that’s for sure.”

“I’ve only seen her once,” Cate shrugged, “she seemed OK, maybe a bit intense.”

 

The next morning, Cate woke up with a different attitude. Liv was right, she needed to “fun the shite” out of every single second of being on Stepping Out. She was ridiculously early so she went to the Starbucks around the corner from the gym and picked up coffee and breakfast pastries for Declan and the camera crew.

“Morning,” she said breezily as she walked into the studio.

“Um, thanks,” the camera crew looked a bit stunned as she handed them their coffees. She crossed her fingers that she’d got their orders right.

“I need to look at your forehead,” Declan grinned, showing off his cute dimples. “I can’t feel anything,” he muttered as his fingers danced across her skin.

“What are you looking for?”

“You’re far too happy this morning,” Declan winked. “I feel sure you must have had a bump on the head or something.”

“Very funny,” Cate swatted him. She felt guilty that she must have been such a prize grump before. “Come on, let’s get to work.”

“First of all, I want to work on your neck and back.” Cate winced, this was going to hurt.

Declan had her stand against the wall. He put his hands on her hips, keeping them pinned to the cool brick wall. “Perfect, I want you to extend your shoulders and neck as far away from the wall as possible.” Cate felt her back protest as she tried to do what Declan had asked. With the cameras still rolling, she was determined that she wasn’t going to complain.

“Good,” Declan said. “Keep your frame. That’s good. A little more.”

He let go of her hips, “grab a drink and then we’ll try the routine again.”

Cate surreptitiously swallowed a couple more painkillers even though they weren’t helping at all; her back was getting worse.

The song they would be dancing to on Saturday night was “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri. It was a very special song for Cate and Kian.

“Can we try it one more time?” Cate asked.

Even though she was in pain, there was something magical about the Viennese Waltz. Earlier in the week, Declan had read her something Johann Wolfgang von Goethe had written about the dance: “never have I moved so lightly. I was no longer a human being. To hold the most adorable creature in one’s arms and fly around with her like the wind, so that everything around us fades away.”

As Declan whipped them into a dizzying array of spins, Cate felt the cool air rush like the wind against her exposed skin. For a few glorious seconds, she could transcend her aching back and the bright lights of the camera crew.

“Are you OK?” Declan asked. He was a little out of breath.

“Mm,” Cate nodded. Liv’s pep talk last night had freed her from the doubts and negativity which had been weighing her down all week.

As she walked across the studio to get a drink of water, she could feel sweat trickling down her back and it was a good feeling, knowing that she’d given one hundred percent to something.

The camera crew must have been testing the lights because suddenly everything became that much brighter. It was so bright, it made her eyes hurt.

She closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them again, she was crumpled up on the floor and the side of her forehead was throbbing. “Cate?”

“My head hurts.”

“I think we should get the doctor,” Declan looked concerned. “You banged your head on the mirror.”

“It will make great TV though, right?” Cate joked with the camera crew.

“We’ve deleted it, sweetheart,” the camera man insisted.

“Thank you,” Cate said gratefully. “I’ll be OK,” she assured Declan, “I just got too hot.”

Cate was just glad that Kian was still in L.A. She had a real doozy of a bruise blossoming on her forehead and if Kian had been at home, he would have frogmarched her to the nearest doctor to get it checked out; he was so overprotective.

Abby was in the kitchen doing the washing up when Cate got home that night. Cate and Abby had co-founded 33 Rocks together after they’d both struggled with prenatal depression. “You don’t have to do that,” Cate rolled up her sleeves ready to take over.

“Hush,” Abby shooed Cate to the breakfast bar, “you sit down while I finish up here.”

“Where’s Nate?” Abby’s son worked for Cate and Kian as their nanny.

“He’s got a kickboxing lesson tonight.” Abby turned around, drying her soapy hands. “Oh my goodness, what have you done?”

Cate touched the side of her forehead with the tips of her fingers, “is it really that bad?”

Abby grabbed some frozen peas from the freezer and wrapped them up in a dry towel. She’d become like a second mum to Cate. “Come here,” Abby brushed Cate’s hair away from her forehead and gently pressed the frozen peas against the offending bump. “What did the doctor say?”

“You don’t need to fuss,” Cate insisted. “Bumps and bruises are all part of learning to dance.”

Abby updated her with what was happening with 33 Rocks. Although she was determined to “fun the shite” out of Stepping Out, she was still worried that her being on the show would have a negative impact on their charity.

“After that VT on Saturday night…” Cate chewed her lip.

“Everything’s fine,” Abby assured her. “Besides, I didn’t sign you up to be on Stepping Out just so that we could raise money for 33 Rocks, hon. Ever since Sierra was born, you have been so determined to keep your depression at bay that I think you’ve forgotten how to have a little fun.”

“Am I really that boring?” Cate felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. Abby was echoing what Liv had said about her being such a “Serious Sarah.”

“No,” Abby gave her a hug, “that wasn’t what I meant.”