CHAPTER 18

 

Kian had already left for training when Cate woke up the next morning. As she stumbled bleary-eyed into the bathroom, her cell phone rang. It was Declan.

“Will you meet me at the studio? I’ve got a new song.”

With her and Kian being in a fight, the very last thing she wanted to do was learn how to jive.

Cate thought about 33 Rocks and all the good they could do with another week’s payment. “I’ll be there in an hour.”

“What’s the song?” Cate asked as she walked into the studio. Declan was there on his own.

He handed Cate one of the earbuds from his iPod. It was “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift.

“What do you reckon?” Declan grinned, his foot already tapping along to the beat.

Cate’s lips twitched into a smile, “it’s one of my favourite songs.”

“Come on then,” Declan said, “we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

As the sky turned navy-blue, Cate lay back on the cold floor of the studio. “I don’t know if I can get through the whole routine. I’m exhausted.”

Declan flopped down next to her, “I can make it easier for you if you want.”

It probably wasn’t very sensible to try and do such a high-octane jive just two weeks after she’d had a miscarriage. “No,” Cate sat up and rubbed her aching calf muscles. She didn’t feel like being sensible. She thought about Annie and Michel’s jive on Saturday night’s show. Annie had looked like she was having so much fun out there on that dance floor. With everything that had happened, with the miscarriage and the sex tape, Cate wanted that feeling too even if it was only for ninety seconds. “Let’s try it again.”

When Cate got home, the children were already asleep. Kian passed her in the hallway, his arms full with a couple of pillows and a duvet. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight.” Cate heard him mutter under his breath, “so I don’t accidentally grope you in the middle of the night.”

“Kian,” Cate lowered her voice so she wouldn’t wake up the children. “Please don’t be like that. We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” Kian grunted. “I just want to go to sleep.”

Cate desperately fought the urge to follow him into the guest bedroom. She ached with how much she wanted him but what if she freaked out again?

Instead, she walked into the empty bedroom and changed into her favourite plaid pyjamas. They used to be Kian’s but she’d co-opted them when she was pregnant with Lola. Kian liked to sleep naked anyway. They were lovely and soft from having been washed so many times.

It was torturous lying in their cold, empty bed knowing that Kian was probably naked just on the other side of the wall. She shifted restlessly trying to get comfortable. As she flopped face-down on the bed, her tingling nipples rubbed deliciously against her cotton t-shirt. Cate felt a tightening in her belly. She checked the cover was pulled up to her chin and then slowly slid the tips of her fingers inside her pyjama bottoms. After her freak-out the previous night, she needed to know if she could still get turned-on. She was surprised to find that she was slick between her legs and gently parted her flesh. She jumped a little, the headboard banging against the wall, as her thumb brushed over her tender, swollen clit.

Kian lay in the cold, empty bed in the guest room, trying really hard not to think about his wife’s gentle curves on the other side of the wall. He heard a knock behind his head but told himself he was hearing things. Still, his hand trailed down his stomach to his heavy cock.

Cate buried her face in the pillow, muffling her cries, as she slid two fingers inside her pussy. Even though she didn’t want to have sex with him, she couldn’t stop herself from imagining that it was his fingers stroking so intimately between her legs.

Kian heard what he thought was a muffled cry and quickly shook his head. He was so fucking horny he was obviously imagining things. He tugged at his cock, thinking about Cate sucking him off. In his fantasy, she took him so deep that her soft, pink lips closed around the base. He tilted her head back, her inky-black hair fanning out across the crisp white sheets. Cate looked up at him through those long, black eyelashes. She looked at him and then swallowed, the back of her throat rippling against the head of his swollen cock.

Kian heard another cry and flung back the covers, the cool air hitting his painfully hard erection. He opened the door to the guest bedroom and tiptoed along the corridor. He was almost there when he bumped into something soft and warm. Kian looked into his wife’s sparkling black eyes; there was no mistaking the heat of her desire.

She reached down and wrapped her gentle hand around his cock. “I’m sorry.”

Kian lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder, carrying her back to their bedroom.

“I can’t…” Cate said quietly. “I don’t think I can make love but we can do other things…?”

Kian dropped her on the mattress and quickly stripped off her clothes. He lay down next to her but with his head next to her sex. He planted soft, gentle kisses at the juncture of her thighs and then rolled on to his back, bringing Cate with him. “Kian?” she gasped as he parted her legs over his face, his hand pushing down on her bottom.

In the darkness, she could see the tip of his cock was already leaking. As his tongue dragged over the slick, intimate flesh between her legs, Cate took the swell of his cock into her mouth and sucked, licking him clean. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” Cate said, letting his cock slip out of her mouth so she could kiss his tight balls.

Kian chuckled; the gentle vibrations making her writhe even more desperately against his face. “You want me to stop, angel?”

“No,” Cate cried.

“Good,” Kian spanked her bottom lightly.

After they’d both orgasmed, they lay in bed sweaty and exhausted. “Are you going to tell me why you freaked out yesterday?”

Cate was glad that it was dark so he couldn’t see her blush, “sex scares me.”

“What?”

Cate tried to sit up, “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

Kian wrapped his arms around her back, holding her still, “talk to me, angel.”

“After the miscarriage and the sex tape, I don’t feel… I guess I don’t feel safe anymore.”

“I’ve had the final sperm count test and it was zero. I won’t get you pregnant again, angel.”

“It’s not just that.”

“It wasn’t us on that tape, Cate.”

“I know but it could have been. There could easily have been hidden cameras at the Cabaret.”

“We’ll be more careful in future. No more sex in semi-public places.” Cate swatted his chest. “It’s not funny.”

She folded her arms across his chest, “if we can’t have sex anymore, what’s going to happen to us?”

“You won’t always feel like this,” Kian tried to reassure her. “It’s been a shitty couple of weeks but it’s over now.”

“What if I do?” Cate felt her throat constrict with panic. “What if I flinch every time you try and touch me? Would you leave me? You said that sex is really important to you.”

Kian frowned, “I said that sex with you is really important to me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Kian reached for her hand and pressed it against the tattoo on his pectoral. “When we first got together on that Christmas Eve, what do you think the odds were that we’d still be together after all these years? We’ve got three beautiful children. Our relationship has already weathered infidelity and prenatal depression, five fucking months living on separate continents. We can get through the miscarriage and sex tape.”

“Besides, if we can’t have full-blown sex for a while then it will just give me the opportunity to be more creative in how I give you your orgasms, angel.”

Cate giggled, “I’m sorry for being such a freak.”

“What?” Kian pretended that he hadn’t heard her. “I wasn’t listening.” He exaggerated licking his lips, “I was too busy thinking about your pussy.”

“Kian!” Cate swatted him again. She wiggled her hips trying to get rid of the sparking heat between her legs.